This is a treat chapter, per se. I handed in my last unit of work at lunch today, which means I AM FREE UNTIL SEPTEMBER! Apart from the exhibition we're doing, and visiting the external examiner, but whatever. My first year of university is complete! So to celebrate, here is a new chapter!
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der! (Yeah, only goffik ppl swer so der!)
I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick (Blood bed? And again, with the Exorcist makeup, HAHAHA EBONY! My makeup was better than yours! Wow, that's childish. But anyway…) and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly (Tits and belly? You're so modestly dressed!). I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it (And you have your bellybutton pierced? That is just KAWAII, GURL!).
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth) (Why is this in brackets? And I hope you die). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff (The tail?) was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.) (CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIN, DRACO IS INSIDE MEEEEEEEE! I AM JUST A SLUUUUUUUUUUT, AND I AM JUST SO GOTHIIIIIIIIIC, WHOOOOOOOOOA!)
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too (*sigh*). But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant (Black is a dark colour, how can you see it underneath?). And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys (Pop, not poser. Does anyone else remember Backstreet Boys and their pretend gothic phase? No? Oh, well).
"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing (Fuck me, not this again! Why do I expect any different?) a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs (The dress came up to MY thighs? How much bloody material is in this dress? They're in Scotland and I'm down by Wales!) and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came (IT IS RUDE AND DISGUSTING TO MASTICATE IN PUBLIC BOYS!). We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong (Who cares?). The boys joined in cause they were bi. (This is insulting)
"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel (Bellybutton! I'm just going to call him Bellybutton instead of Neville/Navel now) was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came (WHY IS EVERYONE JIZZING? WHY?). He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday (So you know it's Dumbledore then?). He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. (He dyed his rabbit? What the fuck, Dumbledore? Animal cruelty, I thought you'd be against that? But then again, you employ House Elves to cook and clean, so why am I surprised?)
"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped. (Well, spank my ass and call me Susie! It's Dumbledore! Didn't see that one coming, like, last chapter)
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" (I thought I was reading this to scare myself!)
"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. (I KNOW, RIGHT?111!ONEONEONE!)
"BTW you can call me Albert." (ALBERT? FUCKING ALBERT? WHAT IS THIS?) HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we (LMAO, WE-WE!) to Transfomation (TRANSFIGURATION!). We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) (When has Gerard ever cried blood?) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. (Albert Dumbledore is about 110-120 – I can't be assed to work it out exactly, I'm writing this at 12am – in the 90s, hardly a midlife crisis!)
I was so fucking angry. (SO AM I!)