The third hungover commentary. I said "I write a batch of them in one go, so this might be published several weeks from now and you're all thinking I have some drink problem because I'm constantly hungover when I write these things." I think I might write one drunk one time, that'd be funny. I'd probably sound like Tara.

The revision and adjustments to this commentary are fuelled by anger.

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1 (Preps suck, Goths rok, stup flmmnig etc etc. We know the drill)

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic (You're making me feel miserable towards magic right now). Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas (The hell? The leather looked like lace? And that must be so hot to sleep in!). Then I gasped. (I'm keeping a tally of how many times she gasps in one chapter... 1)

Standing in front of me where... B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! (Holy shit)

I opened my crimson eyes (Weren't you already awake, and then you saw them and gasped? Oh shit, here comes the paragraph of clothing descriptions). Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage (?) with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once (Good for you). Darkness (who is Jenny) (Jenny?) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire (So are Ron, Ginny, Crabbe and Goyle – I refuse to call them by their gothic names – all brothers and sisters? Because I refuse to believe Arthur Weasley is a Death Dealer or whatever). He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor (Even though you stated earlier that you can only kill a vampire with a steak, medium rare…). He had raped them and stuff before too ("Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess" Also, I'm sorry, but who would want to rape Goyle? Or Crabbe?). They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. (She made Arthur a rapist? I give up on life)

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. (Yeah, your sexual escapades, you DIRTY WHORE)

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily. (You are wearing your pajamas, calm the fuck down!)

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice. (SHE CHEATED ON YOU YESTERDAY AND YOU TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL? YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE AND DESERVE HER!)

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective." (I just let out a huge snort of laughter at that. I hate it when my friends are erective too)

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on (Please, I have a banging headache, I don't want to envision this horrible crime against fashion) some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came (Why do these people just keep orgasming randomly?) We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her (Also, if I had a pound for every time she throws someone the finger...). Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge (Is she related to Rumbleroar?) was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!" (Please follow through with it, please follow through with it…)

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. (PLEASE KILL THE STUDENTS, PLEASE KILL THE STUDENTS…)

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! (JESUS CHRIST, I'M DYING HERE!) YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!" (GOOD! BRING IT ON, BARK LORD! UNLEASH THE DOGS OF HELL!)

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she (Oh, did Harry have a sex change?) is in the school. And her name is...Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." (Of course it is! Hang on a minute, that isn't even her name! It's Ebony! And does he really need to put in all her gothic middle names?)

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other...I gasped. (I guessed you'd react like that. 2)