It wouldn't take long until things were back to normal at SVU. That was on the surface though. There was always crimes to fight and to solve for the squad. New victims that needed their help. Below the surface the feelings would stay raw for some time. Amanda's gaping desk caught many looks. What had taken place would again remind them of what was so important but was so easy to forget as life took over; to have each other's backs. To care, to get involved, to support each other. And it wasn't that Fin hadn't been there for Amanda. He had and maybe within time he would have been the first one she would have open up to if it hadn't been forced out when it was. Now this whole ordeal functioned as a wakeup call for all of them. Cragen ordered them all to set up times for individual psych counsels with the department psychologist, as many as they themselves felt needed he would sanction. He ordered Fin to at least three though knowing how he tried to weasel his way out of them in the past.

Olivia and Nick were already back on a new case the next day but Cragen let Fin off to go visit Amanda at the hospital and see if she needed any assistance. Fin ran into Amanda's father by the elevator. He was carrying a plastic bag in his one hand. They gave each other a nod as hello and then stood in silence as they waited for their ride to arrive. Once in the elevator they were alone.
"I think we're leaving for the airport in a little while." Jack suddenly said. Fin looked up at him and gave him a nod. Fin didn't understand how he was only thinking this and not knowing but he had stopped trying to understand the father a couple of days ago. The elevator became silent again and so was the walk down the corridor once they reached Amanda's floor. They were just steps from the door when Jack suddenly grabbed Fin's arm. Even though Fin didn't look at him with anything than a blank face he let go of him quickly once Fin turned and looked afraid what Fin would do to him. Fin just waited for him to say something.
"Will you… look out for her?" He managed to finally say.

Fin just looked at the aging man. He could see Amanda in the man's eyes. And for the first time Fin could feel some sympathy for the man. He knew all too well how you could love a child with all your heart but still do them wrong. He'd done it to his son when he'd first broken the news of being gay to his father. Fin was not proud of how he had acted. He tried to make amends for his actions every time he saw or spoke to his son. Jack would maybe never get there but Fin could see remorse in his face. Hell his entire body language screamed 'forgive me' since the very first time he'd seen him walk into the squad room. Fin didn't have the right to judge, he had the right to an opinion but Amanda was the only one with the right to judge. Fin nodded at the man in front of him. He even managed to lift his hand and just pad him gently on his upper arm.
"I will", Fin ensured.

Once they entered the room they found Amanda sitting on her bed, above the cover dressed in a light grey sweat set, and the mother standing by the window with her back to them. Bonnie stopped talking midsection and spun around once she got aware she was no longer alone with her daughter. Fin could see on her eyes she either had been or still were crying. She wiped her cheek as she spotted Fin, made a turn towards the window again before she stepped up to her daughter with a big sigh. –So our daughter doesn't want us here any longer but I guess you knew that already detective Tutuola? Bonnie put her hands on her daughter's cheeks which made Amanda have to turn her eyes from Fin to her.
"Mom," Amanda begged. "Are you sure I shouldn't stay for a couple more days?"
"I'm sure mom. You have to get back to work. I'm fine." Amanda put her hands on her mom's arms to reassure her.

After holding her daughter's eyes for a while she finally let her go but not before she planted a kiss on her forehead. Bonnie shook some feelings off and straighten her hair before she went over to her bag that was laid out on the foot of the bed.
"I'll call you as soon as we touched ground again and you better call me if something happens."
"Nothing's going to happen mom but I will." Fin stood by and watched some more typical behavior from a person who really didn't want to leave. Meanwhile Jack placed the plastic bag he'd been carrying on Amanda's bed stand and then leaned across the bed to awkwardly put his arms around his daughter. But he made up for the awkwardness when he gave her a sincere kiss on her forehead and a stroke of her cheek before he let her go.
"The bags arrived downstairs just now," he told his ex wife and then went to stand by the door. Both Jack and Fin had to stand by and watch Bonnie's theatrics before she finally was able to say goodbye. She hugged Amanda a long time, then grabbed her bag hastily and passed Fin quickly as she headed for the door. Jack put up his hand to his daughter and shot Fin a quick smile before he too went out the door.

Fin took a deep breath and looked over at Amanda. She gave him a doubtful smile before she looked down and then out the window. He wasn't sure what he should say and just let some time pass while he watched her profile.
"They're letting me out," she finally said without looking at him.
"You sure you're strong enough," he said what first crossed his mind. She looked over at him with assertive eyes but didn't say anything. He walked up to her bed.
"You need a ride?" he asked and got her to look back up at him again.
"I'm not sure just when though." Some confidence had left her eyes.
"I'm in no hurry," he said and sat down on her bed. She kept his gaze for a while but then got some blush on her cheeks and had to look down. He had to smile at that, she was the most adorable when she got embarrassed. He saw her draw a small circle with her finger on the bed.

"Have you thought about where you want to go?" she looked up at him with a blank face.
"I mean do you want to go to a hotel or…" he was planning to offer up his own apartment but wasn't sure how to put it and she beat him to it.
"I'm going home," she just said without any emotions.
"Are you sure you want to go back there?" he saw her take a deep breath before she answered.
"I don't think… I mind… going back. It's still… my home. I think." she took her time and he could hear some doubt in there but he figured she'd probably thought it through. He wasn't going to talk her out of it and since he wasn't planning on leaving her side he figured they'd figure out once they got there whether it would work or not. He padded his jacket pocket.
"I have the keys. Your door is fixed," he said and met her eyes briefly.
"Thanks," she whispered as she looked away.

It would take some time before they were able to sign her out. Since no one told him to leave the room he stayed put while the doctor came in for a last checkup. It was mostly external and he figured it would be good to listen in on what the doctor told her since he for some reason wasn't sure she would take care of herself properly. The doctor prescribed some more painkillers for her, told her to make sure she got plenty of nutrition and liquids in her and abstain from strenuous exercise for at least a couple of weeks. Low impact walks were all she should do for the time being and he told her to listen to her own body. He wanted to see her back the following week when they might be able to take her staples out as well. He told her to see her gynecologist within a month and follow up on the STD tests. It looked like she paid attention to what the doctor told her.

The nurse stayed to clean out her head wound one last time before she could leave. Amanda put her elbows on the bed and rested her head in her hands so the nurse could get to the back of her bed. It was a pose Amanda seemed used to by now. Fin walked up as the nurse let her hair out from the ponytail and let it fall to either side of her head.
"It's rather nasty looking," the nurse smiled at him.
"I think I can handle it," he smiled back at her. He wasn't sure if this nurse knew he was a cop or not but he appreciated the warning. The nurse carefully removed the patch. It was nasty looking. At least three inches long and with rough edges. He could count at least ten big staples. They had shaved around the wound and even though he knew she wasn't vain he figured it was still a blessing the wound were placed in the back of her head. Amanda didn't move or make a sound while the nurse cleaned her wound. It seemed the nurse knew how Amanda preferred it and once she'd put a new patch on she put her hair back in a ponytail. The nurse smiled at her as she got ready to leave them.
"I might see you next week but if not take care of yourself okay?"
"I will. Thanks Syd." Amanda smiled back. Fin gave the nurse a nod and then they were alone again.

She didn't have much stuff to gather in the room. The sweat set she was in was from the hospital seeing how she didn't arrive in much and those few items were bagged as evidence now. Fin had been forthcoming enough to bring a pair of sneakers for her after his last visit to her apartment. Her dad had left that plastic bag for her on the night stand though and Fin pointed it out to her. She went over to look at it. He got a bit concerned when she just remained standing there for a long time.
"Everything okay?" he finally had to ask. He could tell she took a breath and then she nodded. When she didn't move though he stepped up to her, curiosity got the better of him. He peaked over her shoulder and she handed him what she was holding on to since she could feel his presence. He took the gold metal star from her and looked at it closely.
"Amanda Rollins, animal protector," he read out loud.
"It's from the Chattahoochee nature center."
"Chattawho?" Amanda chuckled briefly at that and turned her head slightly towards him. He could tell she had tears in her eyes. She had a shy smile on her lips.

"He fixed it for me." Fin just looked at her since he didn't understand.
"I took a junior protector course at the nature preserve when I was eight. You got those when you took the exam. They misspelled my name. I thought I'd lost it long ago but he fixed it for me." He could tell by the look in her eyes this meant a lot to her and he looked at the star again.
"Animal protector and now human protector," he said and handed it back to her with a smile. He saw her holding on to something else and she held it up for him.
"Rock candy. My favorite kind," she whispered and put it all down in the bag again. Her father was making amends the only way he could right now.
"Ready to head out of here?" he said and gently touched the back of her shoulder. She nodded and they went out so she could sign those release forms the doctor had talked about.

It was a short drive home and it was silent. Not the awkward kind though, just peaceful. Fin parked across the street. He went around the car to let her out but she was already out and he kept his distance as it felt like she needed it. He hung on to the keys though and was the one who held the front door open for her. They rode up under silence and she let him take the lead to the apartment. He wasn't sure if it was her tension he felt or his own as he unlocked her door. He pushed the door open and let her pass. She seemed to hesitate but then went in. She pushed her shoes of and then walked inside. He copied her and then hung out by the wall as she had a look around. She put the plastic bag down on the couch and then spun around to him.
"Okay?" he had to ask once she didn't say anything. She nodded.
"Good," he said. "I was actually here once while you were at the hospital." She raised her eyebrow.
"I was thinking I'd help you out with something." She still looked puzzled.
"Come with me," he said and gestured to the bedroom. He got to the door and once there he saw her hesitation. He scolded himself silently figuring the bedroom was maybe the hard part. He figured he'd go in and get what he was talking about but once he picked it up and turned to go out again she was in the doorway.

"Okay, that you have to explain and quickly," her face had turned from scared to amused in a second. Fin was holding on to a mean looking chainsaw. He smiled.
"I want us to cut up your bed."
"Cut up?"
"Yeah. Let's hack it into pieces and get it out of here."
"But the neighbors?"
"We're cops. Who would they call?" She let out a chuckle.
"Let's do it," she smiled next.
"Are you sure you're up for it though? No nap needed before?"
"Nap my ass," she said and took a few steps inside the room.
"Okay then let's get this baby hooked up." Fin went over to the wall to get the cord in. He passed the bed stand on his way back and picked up a few things.
"You need to put these on though. Your head and all. It's not the noisiest but still," he handed her a head gear and once that was on a pair of protective glasses.
"Are we just gonna cut into it? Mattress and all?"
"You want to keep the mattress?"
"Hell no."
"Then hell yeah. Well we should probably close the doors. Keep the debris in here as much as possible. And move the bed stands." He put the chainsaw down and went to move the bed stands as Amanda went and closed all the doors.

"Ready then?" he asked as they met back by the chainsaw again. She nodded.
"Wanna do the honors?" he asked. She looked scared but then nodded.
"Okay let me just fire this up then," he pushed the button and the blade started spinning. He handed her the tool and she took it with some hesitation. She looked at him as to ask if she was holding it right and he gave her a nod. She walked up to the bed and then carefully put it to the footboard. It started digging into the wood. He could see her body work as she pushed the blade down and once she finally got through the thick board she turned her head to him. She had a smile on her lips and it looked like this was a very cleansing activity for her. It made him smile too. She managed to cut a big piece off the footboard until fatigue took over. He could see her getting tired and he stepped up to take over the job for her. She remained standing beside him for a while but then she went to sit down by the back wall. He looked over at her from time to time to make sure she was doing all right and every time she gave him a small smile to reassure him she was okay.

It took nearly an hour to cut the whole thing into pieces. When he was done he was sweaty and the room was kind of in a real mess. He turned the tool off and set it down on the floor beside him. Amanda got off the floor and her body left a clean figure where she had been sitting. She got her headgear off and looked around with a big smile on her face.
"Don't worry. I got it covered." He said as he too got his headgear off and he pulled out his phone. When he found who he wanted to call he put the phone to his ear. The call was short.
"Hey. It's Fin. You're cool? Great. You got the address right? Yeah. And you got the new mattress? Cool. Thanks. See you in a bit then." He hung up and looked over at her.
"Malcolm. My buddy. He cleans crime scenes. He owes me, I got him tons of jobs." Fin winked at her.

They didn't have to wait long for Malcolm to show up. He threw Amanda a nod from a far and introduced his friend Doug, or it could have been Dog. Fin seemed to know him too. While the three men took care of the mess in the bedroom Amanda went into the bathroom to freshen up. Within an hour there were no trace left of the bed that had previously taken over the entire bedroom. Malcolm had brought a simple but very comfortable new mattress for her that they placed on the floor for the time being. Fin could tell Amanda wasn't her usual self around the two strangers in her apartment but that was understandable, she was still polite and thanked them as they were leaving. Fin shook hands with the men at the door and then went back to Amanda who had retreated back into the kitchen.

After her shower she'd dressed in a sweat set of her own, black bottoms and a burgundy hoodie. It fitted her better. The edges of her hair were still a little bit wet but she'd kept the water from her wound. She looked tired, a bit run down which wasn't surprising.
"You would tell me if this cost you something right?" she was hinting to him earlier telling her Malcolm did this as a favor for him.
"Of course." She gave him a look that said she didn't completely trust him but he was being honest. He walked passed her and jumped up at the counter by the window.
"You want some?" she dropped the subject and instead offered him some iced tea that she was fixing. She'd already put out two mugs on the counter. His previously encounters with the cold liquid hadn't been so good and his face told the story as her offer came.
"I won't make yours so sweet I promise."
"Cause I don't need more sweetness you mean?" She rolled her eyes at him but she couldn't hide the faint smile. "Okay okay give me some then," he accepted.

He watched her stir the liquid and then let his eyes wander around the kitchen. His eyes fell on the little frame across the room.
"What's up with that?" he decided to ask. She turned her head to him and then spun around to where he was pointing.
"The quote?" she asked and saw his nod as she turned back to the counter.
"The gods avenge not on the son the deeds done by the father. Each, or good or bad, of his own actions reaps the due reward. The parents' blessing, not their curse, descends," she recited low but with emphasis on the right words and he was somewhat impressed. It sounded so much better when she spoke the words than when he had a couple of days ago. She gave him a quick look as she was done. She seemed almost a bit ashamed.
"It's just from a play I like," she tried to brush it away.
"Which one?" She gave him a look again.
"You really wanna know this?"
"Sure. I've seen some of the books you read and all and I never knew you were into plays and theater and stuff." He had to wait a while before she decided to let him into her little world. She poured some sweetener in her mug as she contemplated what to tell him. She started to stir the liquid.

"My favorite play writer is this German dude," she gave him a quick look and he saw her make a face as she said 'dude' as to bring the cultural level down a few notches. He had a feeling though she carried some heavy knowledge when it came to this subject. She was done with the iced tea and walked over to him with his mug.
"Johann Wolfgang von Goethe," she said as he took the mug from her. Fin was thinking what a cool name, both wolf and goat, but he didn't say anything fearing that it would disparage something she felt passionate about.
"He was a writer, artist and a politician actually," she said as she headed back to her mug. She took a zip before she continued.
"And he also did some studies of natural science. Goethean science." Fin could tell she was really into this guy.
"His poetry has been set to music by Mozart. He had, and still has, a good reputation among his peers. He was born in the 18th century." She took another zip of her tea. She was quiet for some time but after the third time her eyes had wandered by him she spoke again.

"That quote is from Iphigenia in Tauris. It's an ancient Greek tragedy he reworked. It's basically about a demigod that gets banished and has a curse put on him and his family. The curse of the Tantalids. His descendants are driven by revenge and hatred and they offer up one of their offspring as a sacrifice to the gods to spare the rest of the family." She put the mug up to her face and drank. Fin got why this play was special to her. A Greek tragedy set in the suburbs of Atlanta.
"Will you take me to one of his plays sometime?" he asked.
"Honestly?" She gave him a suspicious look. He nodded.
"It sounds as this wolf and goat man could mix well with my jersey shore peeps." He saw her nostrils flair above the rim of the mug. He took another zip from his tea.
"This wasn't so bad actually," he said.
"It's peach."
"Of course," he smiled at her.

Even though she was exhausted he ordered them some take-out. He felt the need to see she got fed properly. They didn't speak much as they ate. They sat on the couch and watched a basketball game during. She didn't eat as much as he liked her to but he could tell she was really tired and didn't hassle her too much about it. Afterwards he helped her put linen on the mattress. He'd asked if he should, or could, stay on the couch but she declined. He tried once more a little later but seeing how she was so tired she didn't have any defense walls up she gave him an honest answer. She felt as though she had people around her constantly for the last couple of days and she was just longing to be alone. He could understand that and decided not to push it.

As it was time for him to leave though he worried about her being all alone. She picked up on it but didn't have the strength to deal with it. She felt like she could fall asleep where she stood.
"You will call if there's anything." She nodded. "And I will call you tomorrow if I haven't heard from you."
"Okay." They got to the door and Fin found himself contemplating how to say goodbye. He hated feeling so unsecure and didn't want this whole thing to come between them. He wanted to be able to treat her like before but he felt restraint to do so. His goodbye became a hand on her cheek and a light kiss on her opposite temple. It didn't feel so awkward. He held her eyes for a second and his gut got a scary feeling that it would be the last time he saw her. He wasn't sure where that came from but he became very scared he was losing his partner.