I was going to post this chapter tomorrow as a tribute the Hallows Part II or something like that, but I plan on spending tomorrow away from the computer (I'm addicted to Tumblr and there'll be "spoilers" - I class it as stuff they've added in or taken out of the films, rather than the plot because the book's been out for four years - and although I've read the detailed reviews from the surprise test screening in April I don't want to SEE anything until I'm sat in the cinema at 8.30pm tomorrow). I hope you all enjoy it. It was released in Australia yesterday (13th) and some have said it was the best film and they couldn't stop crying. The soundtrack is astounding too. Courtyard Apocalypse and A New Beginning are especially emotional.
Jo, thank you for my childhood. And Tara, thanks for fucking it up.
AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 (What?)
We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason (All very gothic) all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath. (Why does this girl wear leather underwear? Does she just shop in fetish shops all the time? Do you need to go to a specialist place to get leather underwear, like John Doe and the S&M place in Se7en?)
I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.
"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard (I snorted through my nose here) hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish (I swear I've said it before, but boys who wear nail varnish don't do it for me). I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. (Ooh, nice! Not)
"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time" (Which you will enjoy, no doubt)
Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him. (I'm sorry, but who is going to fuck Voldemort? Shouldn't you be hugging her? Even though I hate her)
"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?" (Probably, after she bangs Voldie and realises he is the Lord of Sex as well as the Dark Lord)
"Of coarse not!" I gasped.
"Really?" he asked.
"Sure." I said.
We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly. (Voyeur!)
Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone (Stallone? Like Sylvester?). He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped (She's never done that before...). He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way (Of course he did. And Joel Madden. And Billie Joe Armstrong. And Marilyn Manson). Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). (Even though you have a history of issues with people filming you, but whatever)
I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif. (That good huh? Seeing as you fell asleep the last time)
We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock (Spock? As in "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock"?) in my you-know-what and passively we did it.
"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." (You're having sex but not feeling each other? Sounds a bit weird to me) he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. (So you came, but you weren't paying attention to each other?) Suddenly….
"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"
It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111 (I'd like to know the exact same thing, expel them, expel them all!)