You know I wrote a few chapters while hungover earlier in the story? Well, last week I wrote some while drinking. Lets see how this turns out.
AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux (Alzheimer's is dangerous when it's advanced) . fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111
"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing (I have a mental image of Snape laughing with loaves of bread coming out of his mouth) meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly ("Anvilly"? One, that's not even a word. Two, isn't an anvil an explosive?). Then... he came tords Darko (STAY AWAY FROM JAKE GYLLENHAAL!)!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.
"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants (Oh dear god, we're going to see his "other wand"!). I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11! (WHAT THE FUCK?)
He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.
"U must stab Vrompire." (DO IT, HE'S A HORRIBLE CHARACTER, AND IF JK KNEW WHAT SHE'S DOING TO HARRY SHE'D GO APESHIT) he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1" (This actually probably exists in a few weird fanfics out there)
"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.
But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) (Yep, you've used that one before, it took me like, 10 minutes to work out what you meant before I discovered it was really not funny) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard (So she likes Nirvana now? They are pretty damn awesome. On an unrealated note, if you are a Nirvana fan, read the Kurt Cobain biography Heavier Than Heaven. It's really good). But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair (You are such a whore. This isn't even like a love-triangle, she's just being damn greedy. It's almost like Twilight – why did Bella kiss Jacob? It never came across clearly in the books that she liked him? Anyway, I digress). I thought of da time when we screwed (In Care of Magical Creatures in front the whole class?) and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came (Eww, Dumbledore!) and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive (Didn't you fuck him then too?).
Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort ("Our Dark Lord, who art in Malfoy Manor, tabooed is thy name…"). He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire (That sentence doesn't make sense. I think she means initiation, not incapacitation). Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers (WHAT FUCKING VAMPIRE POWERS? THE ONES THAT LET YOU CRY BLOOD WHEN YOU HAVE NONE?) I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.
"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.
"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.
"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him... (That's not a very nice mental image)
"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound (She's pulling a Mickey Rooney again) Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.
"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came (Snape and Severus are the same person!)
Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go (And then I went to get a beer or something)