This is my second chapter of slightly intoxicated writing. If my writing ever starts to look like Tara's (bad spelling, etc) in the upcoming chapters, it's because I was pretty drunk.
AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 (WHAT?) stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111
"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." (What has that misspelling of "bitch" got to do with Buffy? And why does Sirius seem to know about Buffy in order to say it in the first place?) Serious said 2 Snape.
"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed.
"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum ("Voldemortserum"! It's "Veritaserum") out of my poket and gave it to Serverus (Good, I want to know the truth). He made Snap dirnk it (But Severus is Snape!). He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap (…what?). Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times (For what?). Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort (She is a sex maniac, this one). Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too (An all-girl foursome? Whoa, she called her Hermione, not B'loody Mary. And I've always wondered why there's an apostrophe in the middle of "Bloody"). B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store.
"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.
"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was (Here we go…) a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress (Why is it a gothic dress? How can you tell?). It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen (She can't put on tights and shoes by herself?). Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.
"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. (You look like a douche, bitch)
"Fangs." I said. (HAHAHA, OH MY SATAN, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!)
"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill (Yes, like that time in Resident Evil when Milla Jovovich put a gun in her fishnets on her quest to kill Voldemort in the past? Good times, guys, good times). Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.
"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin (WHAT IS THAT? DETH'S TOUCH SIN?). Then... I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive. (How can you jump sexily? Do you moan orgasmically, or pout while you jump?)
Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black (Of course). He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was...Tom Bombodil!1111 (Now, I know from going on some sites that this Tom Bombodil guy is a character from a game or something? And that's why people think this is a crackfic, not a really poor story)