I can't remember what chapter of beer-commentary this is, but it's the last one, and the drunkest one. Sorry I've taken forever to upload, I'm starting my second year of uni next week (joy of joys. I really don't want to go back, but the only reason why I am is because I only have this year and I've finished, and I get a qualification) and I seem to have left all my summer work until the last minute... Ah well.

Hope you enjoy this chapter and review!

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1 (DO NOT. LET. HER. HELP. YOU.)

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?" (I can't remember what happened last time to make her want to go to… St Mangas)

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?" (Find the magical fish and ask – WHO IS TOM ANDERSON?)

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas. (His pyjamas is JUST a GC top? That's like my pjs when it's really hot!)

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking. (Fuck off. Gerard isn't even gothic)

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously. (Ooooooh, green isn't your colour, Draco!)

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. (What?) He opened a door...Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife. (I don't understand why Lupin is a bad guy)

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz) (I barely understood any of that. They're paedos – even though they aren't children anymore – and Snape tried to rape who? And what has Shark Attack got to do with this?). We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) (FUCK ME BECAUSE I DON'T WATCH YOUR GOTHIC FILMS! I WATCH NOLAN'S BATMAN SERIES AND HARRY POTTER AND ARMAGEDDON AND THE ISLAND AND 21 GRAMS AND SE7EN, WHICH ARE AWESOME FILMS, SO FUCK YOU TARA YOU GOTH!). I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on ▒desolition liverz' by MCR (I gotta say, Demolition Livers *heavy exhale* is my favourite song from Bullets). Den...we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz (LAUGH OUT LOUD AT HIS RIPPED PHYSIQUE!). We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge (I've never watched the Grudge so I'm going to interpret this from what I know about it: it was like making out with a freaky demented child? With what is actually and most likely Ebony's regular eye-makeup?). He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. (You have the wetness! You're the girl!) I gut an orgy. (Just like that?)

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation. (YOU NEED A LESSON IN BIOLOGY, GURRRRRRRRRL! First he gets the erection, then he puts it in your "wetness", then you move about and THEN you get your orgy. But it's an orgasm, not sex with multiple partners)

"I luv u TaEbory." (I WISH A HARRY POTTER CHARACTER WOULD SAY HE LOVED ME! You know what? Next chapter of Getting Ron Back, Fred's gonna say "I love you LorHermione". SELF-INSERTION INTO A FANFIC, BOOOOOOM!) he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol. (HAHAHA, YOU FUCKED AND FELL ASLEEP! That's not funny)