A/N: Awkward Lightning is awkward. You really don't know what you're doing, do you? And Fang. You think you have it all worked out, that you're the normal one here? That you're safe? Huh, we'll see about that. Quite glad I split the first chapter, as the Archylte Steppe segment ended up being a monster size all up.
Archylte Steppe
Lightning definitely should not have lashed out as violently as she had. She knew that. She'd just been so preoccupied with the distraction that the fight with the King Behemoth had given her, so engrossed in the glorious struggle of the fight in spite of her arm, that suddenly, seeing her there –
Knowing that the source of everything that was wrong was just standing there, smirking at Lightning… It had been almost as if Fang had known exactly what she'd done to Lightning, the turmoil she'd caused and the changes she'd wrought. It had been too much to handle. As frayed as Lightning's emotional equilibrium had been, she had lashed out.
Of course, Fang was never one to take abuse like that lying down, so Lightning wasn't sure why she'd been so surprised when the woman had retaliated and struck out at her sore shoulder.
I admit I would have done the same, were out places reversed. A simple, clean elimination of a threat.
What was disconcerting was Fang's sudden attention towards her. After days of living with only the most minimal regard, suddenly Lightning was meant to believe that they were friends again? It was ridiculous, it was insane. What was far, far worse was Lightning's own willingness to allow it to happen. Just to snatch a few moments of Fang's positive regard, to pretend that things were different –
Lightning ruthlessly hammered down the thought.
Now, Fang wanted to talk. Maybe she hadn't been nearly as subtle as she ought to have been, Lightning realized. Had it been obvious to everyone but herself? Had they all been laughing at her struggles, knowing exactly what was happening? The l'Cie brand on her chest seemed to tighten.
Relax, soldier. The tightening sensation receded a little, but the memory remained in her thoughts, like a behemoth in her mind. How long did she have? She couldn't let the cie'th take her, not yet. Not when they still had so long to go, not when she still tried to hope for a way to save Serah from an eternity as a crystal. Not when they were still trying to find a way to defy what seemed to be their fate.
Her heart grew was far too easy to fall into the trap of despair and hate, to be devoured by the mark.
A few paces ahead of her, Fang slowed her walk, and dug the folded end of her spear into the grassy earth.
"Ah, here it is," Fang announced, jerking her head in the direction of a shadowy niche in the Steppe's rocky wall. Lightning's eyes strained to resolve the outline of the cave. It was small, barely wide enough to squeeze through without getting a few scrapes, but it was shelter nonetheless.
Lightning was surprised that Fang had even managed to see the cave in the growing darkness. Even as a l'Cie, even if she hadn't been so caught up in her whirlwind of emotions, Lightning doubted she would have spotted it.
Fang was moving ahead again, and Lightning's eyes followed her as she squeezed between the rocks of the fissure. Even within the shadows, the moonlight still caught on the silken fabric of Fang's sari. Her eyes strayed down, noting how the moonlight on the sari accentuated the shapeliness of Fang's-
Lightning nearly choked on the thought, forcing herself to stop imagining. She was not like that, she reassured herself fiercely as she looked up at the stars again. She was not someone so easily swayed by that kind of thing, and she wasn't –
"Hey! Sunshine! You gonna stare at the sky all night like a slack-jawed lobo, or are you gonna haul your arse in here?" Fang's voice sounded a little echoed, and definitely a little frustrated – the world hardly stopped for soliloquies.
Making a small sound at the back of her throat that she hoped passed for irritation, Lightning approached the fault in the cliff-wall and placed a hand against the rough granite of the opening. She could hear Fang shuffling about in her pack in the darkness beyond.
Stop thinking. Just stop, Lightning growled silently to herself, as she pushed herself through the fissure. A few scrapes later, and she was standing within the oppressive blackness, listening to the sound of Fang digging around for something in her pack.
Could this have felt any more awkward? Lightning reached for her l'Cie magic. She summoned a tiny fire spell that condensed and rested above the palm of her hand, and she quickly scanned her surroundings.
The spell didn't give off a lot of light, but it was enough to note that the cave was far bigger than the entrance implied. Not a bad find.
"Ah, nice thinking. Didn't cross my mind. Guess that's why you're the go-to ravager and I'm not," Fang told her, shooting her a distracted look as she kept rifling through her belongings. Lightning looked away determinedly, wishing her throat hadn't constricted at the sight of the small smile. More, Lightning wished she'd never left on this walk – had she stayed back at base-camp, maybe she wouldn't have realized what was going on in her head.
This was the last thing she needed to deal with.
"Here we go," Fang suddenly declared, wrestling something from the abused-looking backpack. "A torch, so you don't have to keep acting like the battery. You've already got enough zap in you."
"Your jokes could do with some work," Lightning said, rolling her eyes as she touched the fire spell to the battered old torch.
If Lightning was able to put on a convincing front, then perhaps Fang would drop this painful ordeal. The l'Cie brand tightened slightly. Eden, Lightning wasn't even sure of herself now. This whole thing was so confusing, so sudden… She just wanted Fang to leave her alone so she could pretend that none of it had ever happened.
Fang shrugged, one of those disarming grins on her face. "Everything I come up with is a hoot. Didn't get that memo, I see."
"At you, Fang, not with you. There's a slight distinction." Lightning smiled slightly in return, feeling herself relaxing her guard a little – then she pulled herself up short. Just like that, it had been so easy to fall into the same old trap again. Was she so desperate for Fang's attention that's she'd lap up the dregs, pretending that it was always like this?
This pathetic, new self disgusted her.
Lightning turned away from Fang, leaning against the entrance to the cave and looking into the plains beyond. The gentle slopes of the Archylte Steppe were washed in silver moonlight, and she could make out the dark outlines of monsters moving in the darkness. Maybe they were a nocturnal variety of cie'th, or maybe they were just a mob of goblins causing trouble. Lightning leaned her head against the cool rock.
What would Serah think of her 'strong' older sister, if she saw Lightning now? It had been Lightning's job to protect and care for her sister. Not only had she failed in that, she was barely able to care for herself. Lightning knew really had no grounds to judge Snow, when she looked back at all her own failures and weaknesses.
Lightning heard Fang snort in an undignified way, coming from somewhere behind her.
"Look, I'm going to light a fire just outside the cave to get some food warmed up, if that's all right with the Drill Sergeant. I'm starving, and you running off like a tool didn't leave me much time to eat anything. Ration bars are getting real stale, though, but I've got an idea."
Resisting the urge to point out that she never asked Fang to follow after her, Lightning nodded. When she thought about it, she was a little hungry herself. A soft growl from her stomach agreed with the notion. She hadn't eaten since earlier that day, and only because Snow and Sazh had refused to move a step further until they'd had a chance to eat and rest. She'd been distracted and eager to press on, so her ration bars had gone unfinished.
Shaking her head slightly, she sighed. Empty regrets, now.
Fang pushed past her with the burning torch and out into the open again, waving for Lightning to follow after her. She swept the torch in a wide arc, seeming to look for something in the grass. Lightning frowned, placing a hand on her hip as she watched Fang scour the ground.
"What are you looking for?" Lightning finally asked, uncomfortable with the silence.
Fang didn't look up from her search, although she laughed shortly. "Wood. So we can burn it. So we can eat. You know, for a military rising-star, you aren't all that smart."
Lightning sighed, having little patience for Fang's usual flippant taunting.
"'Rising-star'? And who told you that?" She spotted a stout-looking branch so old the wood had gone silver, and took it into her good arm, then looked around for more.
"Might have been something Snow said yesterday. Might not have," Fang told Lightning with a knowing smirk, as she added another few branches to her armload. "I'd rather not have my little birdy beheaded and served on skewers just yet."
Rising-star of the Guardian Corps.
The memory of what she had been, before everything had gone to hell, sat on her uneasily. She'd been one of the best, only held down by her young age and her own coldness. In the days before the Purge, Lieutenant Amodar had even told her that she was eligible for promotion. To the Cavalry, to PSICOM, to rise a few ranks within the Guardian Corps? She didn't know. She'd never know, not after the fal'Cie took Serah from her. Not now that she was a l'Cie.
The sudden, gentle tap on her pauldron made her jump, and she fought not to recoil back from Fang's touch. The woman quirked an eyebrow at her, her arms full of twigs and branches, the torch balanced haphazardly in the crook of her elbow.
"Buck up, Sunshine. Petulant isn't your colour," Fang said, motioning for Lightning to grab the torch from her before it dislodged from its resting place and burned her. "I'll set these up, and since you tend have the better magic, you cast the fire spell when I'm all finished. That suit you?"
Looks like I have no choice in the matter anyway, Lightning noted as Fang bent and began to arrange the sticks and branches into the semblance of a pile.
She wondered where Fang had learned all her survival and hunting skills. The ruins they'd found and explored on Pulse didn't seem in indicate a low level of technology – so where would Fang have learned to use a spear?
She watched Fang curse and begin to restack the wood again in a different spot on the ground, watched the mix of shadows and crimson light from the torch dance across her tanned skin.
In truth, Fang fascinated her. She was brash, she was crude, she was tough in a way that Lightning had never seen, not in Cocoon's women. She was strong but she was quick to smile, she was protective of Vanille but never let herself be defined by that protection. She laughed at herself, but she was deadly serious about her goals. Her entire outlook on life seemed strange and alien to Lightning.
It was confusing and wonderful, but at the same time it was awful. Lightning's jaw tightened reflexively. How Fang could do this to her, without seeming to notice at all?
It was worse that Fang could do it without Lightning noticing, that Fang could turn her world and who she was upside down, with no hope of ever going back to the way things were.
Snapping to awareness as Fang rose and stretched, Lightning quickly looked away from her, reaching for her magic and casting the low-powered fire spell on the wood. She'd been staring, silently appraising the way Fang moved, the way her wild, dark hair fell over her shoulder. She'd have to be more cautious, or it would be obvious, and then…
…then what? Once again, she didn't know. Lightning watched the fire take hold of the dry wood they'd collected, devouring it with a vengeance.
Fang flopped to the ground in front of the flames, stretching and yawning loudly. Lightning looked at her. Was she meant to follow Fang's example? Finally, she sighed, walking a few feet away to the cool, rocky wall. She sat, her back to the wall and staying a reassuring distance from Fang.
It might just have been her imagination, but she did feel a release in tension the further away she was.
"Did she like the stars?" Fang suddenly asked, leaning back to meet Lightning's eyes directly. The play of firelight and shadows on her face made the pale green of her eyes even more striking – Lightning had to swallow a few times to get her dry mouth to work again.
"Who?" Lightning asked. She felt pinned by Fang's gaze, suffocated, her muscles tensing. It was an effort to break the contact, to look away, but she had to.
Fang chuckled at her confusion. "Serah. Who else?"
Lightning felt a small surge of relief. Serah was much easier to think about.
"Yeah." Lightning smiled a little. The memories warmed her, distracted her from the present. "She liked fireworks, too. I think it was all the lights against the darkness, and the colours. She always loved the Firework Festival, the one Bodhum holds annually. Always begging me to take her to them that year…"
Fang smirked at her. "I think I get what you mean. Those fireworks were pretty impressive. For Cocoon fare, anyhow."
Lightning stifled a smile at the obligatory jab at Cocoon. Fang would never stand a slur on Gran Pulse, but she could and would go on for days about 'the nest of vipers in the sky'. Double standards and hypocrisy meant little to the Pulsian woman, it seemed.
The feeling of remembered happiness didn't last, though. A bitter memory rose up, spoiling the warmth, turning her stomach.
"The past couple of years, though, I'd been too busy to take her," Lightning said, fixing her gaze on the fire. "I was always working, trying to get stronger, to protect her. Never even noticed that she didn't bother asking me to see the fireworks with her this year."
Silence fell between them, only the sound of the crackling fire, the wind and the movements of magic-wary creatures in the night. She supposed that was a benefit of using magic to light the fire. The lesser beasts were not willing to ambush you, not if they believed you to be real threat.
"…it wasn't your fault, you know," Fang said, finally. The silence stretched on, and she took one of the longer twigs from the pile of wood, poking at the embers with it. "Sisters grow apart, and Serah might have wanted to see them with Snow instead. And judging by the timeframe, I'd say she had more than a few things on her mind."
The l'Cie brand on her chest constricted at that, as Lightning recalled how coldly she'd dismissed Serah the day after the fireworks.
"You'd never have done that to Vanille," she forced out, trying to keep her voice even, trying to stop her anguish from revealing itself. "You'd never have forgotten your family traditions, or-"
Or told her you'd hunt her down if she really was a Pulse l'Cie. How could I have been so merciless…?
"I did forget her birthday once, though. Never did that one again, for fear of another temper tantrum that could wipe out all life on Gran Pulse." Fang grinned as Lightning raised an eyebrow. "But Vanille is the single-most important person in my life. She's really all I got left, of Oerba, of our old Focus… and of Gran Pulse, it would seem."
Then, there was that uncomfortable silence again as Lightning thought over what Fang had told her.
That understanding had been why it had been so easy to relate to Fang, at least at first. Fang understood what it was like to live your life for the sake of another person.
Lightning reached out and hugged one of her knees, wincing as the motion pulled the sore muscles in her shoulder. It wasn't right that she was jealous of Vanille. Would she have taken any outsiders seriously, if they told her that they were jealous of the attention she gave Serah? Of course not.
She looked into the fire, and then let them drift to Fang again. She couldn't help it, not now that she knew the truth. The other woman was wildly beautiful, all the smooth muscle, her slightly sun-bleached hair, the tattoo scrawled on her arm –
Lightning rested her head back against the cooling rock wall and let out a long, shaky breath. Silence dominated, and she was unable to bring herself to break it.
Fang seemed contemplative as she stared into the fire, smiling a little at something remembered. Lightning felt herself relax – it seemed like Fang's scrutiny of her had been forgotten for now. She'd almost convinced herself of that when Fang looked back at her again.
"So." Fang drew the word out, and threw it down like a challenge as she shifted around to face Lightning fully. She sat cross-legged, blue sari pooling in her lap, propping herself up with her palm under her chin. "Lightning. What's really been bothering you, then?"
Lightning felt herself go cold. The challenging look in her eyes, the slightest smirk on her lips – did Fang know already?
"There's nothing wrong," Lightning forced out, but she'd hesitated too long. Fang's sceptical look bragged that the lie hadn't fooled her, either. That was a pity.
Fang snorted, clearly displaying that scepticism for all of Pulse to hear. "Yeah. Sure. And so you've been acting like you've a rod up your arse for no reason at all, right? Can't say I believe your little story, princess, so how about you be square with me?"
Lightning froze, meeting Fang's eyes squarely. The blatant smugness, that smirk of superiority – anger burned through Lightning. Fang thought she knew what was going on? Fang had no idea of what she was going through! She threw caution into the wind.
"Excuse me?" Lightning snapped. She reached out and touched the cold hilt of her blazefire saber, to make her demand seem all the more threatening. If her right shoulder wasn't killing her, arm she'd have given Fang a thrashing she'd never forget. It'd certainly wipe that insufferable smugness off her face.
Fang spread her hands, still looking self-satisfied and certainly not seeming to take Lightning's implied threat seriously. Fang leaned forward.
"I think you're scared," she told Lightning with an air of finality, as if judgement had just been passed on Lightning's soul. How reassuring. "That's why you ran off tonight. You can't cut down, or run away from all your problems, Light. I like to think that I learned that long ago."
Silence reigned between them, the only sounds coming from the crackling of the fire and the pounding of the blood in Lightning's ears. She met Fang's eyes squarely, a simple act of defiance. Did Fang know, or didn't she? It wasn't clear.
The intensity in Fang's eyes was disarming though, forcing the harsh breath in Lightning's throat to catch. She released the hilt of her blazefire saber reluctantly, and looked away to break Fang's hold on her mind. Fang was right, though. She couldn't always run and fight, like she'd wanted to at the Vile Peaks. She'd thought she'd learned that with Hope.
Maybe Lightning still had a few issues to work out.
With that, Fang laughed shortly, climbing to her feet and using her polearm to lever herself up. Lightning looked up questioningly – hadn't it been Fang's intention to stay the night here? Surely the interrogation couldn't be over yet. She'd expected Fang to be more tenacious than that.
"Where do you think you're going?" Lightning asked, frowning slightly.
"Concerned? For me? How sweet." Lightning's scowl was met with another self-satisfied smirk, as Fang sheathed her spear in the straps on her back. "I'll be back in a bit. Gonna go get something other than ration bars to eat. And Sunshine? Try not to skip out on me while I'm gone, because I'd hate having to hurt your shoulder again by dragging your sorry arse back.
Of course she'd have to be the most difficult nut to crack, ever. She's a stuffy, Cocoon-bred, uptight soldier, what the bloody hell were you expecting? Fang huffed silently as she made her way along the eastern walls of the Steppe, her eyes trying to pierce the darkness and pick out the gorgonopsid Lightning had so graciously felled in her temper-tantrum. As she neared the shadowed forms, she cursed and swung her polearm down.
"Bullshit there's 'nothing wrong'. Pfft. Even I was better at lying when I made off with old Jorgen's beer stash, and he thrashed me without a second glance," Fang ranted to the fallen gorgonopsid, as if they'd start talking back to her and agreeing that Lightning was a royal pain in the rear. Pity, that. She could have used the extra moral support, because Fang was this close to just beating the answers out of Lightning and being done with the whole thing.
But… perhaps Fang needed to handle this situation carefully, especially if her instincts were right on the gil.
Kinda like taming a chocobo. Go nice and easy, and lead it by the nose until you've got it right where you want 'em. Fang sniggered at the comparison. She doubted Lightning would have been amused at the comparison with a giant, yellow roadrunner, though. Even if her hairstyle was ever-so-slightly reminiscent of them.
Fang knew she couldn't afford to fuck this up. An annoying part of her was really starting to hope that Lightning was interested. She'd thought that maybe Lightning had been, after Palumpolum, but during the Ark, Lightning had made her lack of interest pretty clear.
Kneeling by the nearest gorgonopsid, Fang roughly grabbed a haunch and deftly severed the tendons with her polearm's meticulously-sharpened blade.
Four hundred years, and while the fauna had certainly gotten bigger, beasties like this one were still built the same. Fang took hold of the lower joint of the leg, and then heaved it over her shoulder, straightening as she went. As far as she could remember, these critters made a decent enough meal. The meat was not toxic like the goblins, and while a little tasteless, it was leagues above what she'd expect from another goddamn ration bar.
Ugh. Ration bars.
Another of Cocoon's more awful creations, Fang had had it up to here with that dry, bland biscuit that only tasted good with a whole skin of grog to wash it down with. Given their location… alcohol was a little hard to come by. Yet another reason to lament her current situation.
But Sergeant Sunshine's got something eating at her, and I think I can guess what it is now.
Fang acknowledged that she could be called many different names. Arrogant. Crude. 'Pig-headed' and 'narcissistic', she supposed, if Vanille's teasing was to be taken seriously. Inobservant? Not one of those things. She was a hunter, after all, and she'd survived the War of Transgression, even if she couldn't recall how she'd actually done that.
That was something that she really needed to talk to Vanille about, but she shoved it to the back of her mind. There'd be time enough for that, later.
When she arrived back at the makeshift camp, Fang was almost surprised to find that Lightning had actually listened to her.
Lightning was still sitting by the fire, staring moodily into the flames. Well, didn't that just ooze angst and self-pity? Fang resisted rolling her eyes at the melodrama of it all as she dumped the haunch on the ground. Lightning thought she had problems? She should try being a combatant in a war between worlds…
The War of Transgression is not a nice thing to wish on her, even if she is being a right wuss about this. You like her, don't you? You want more, right? Then you're gonna have to deal with this issue of hers.
Lightning had looked up at the sound of Fang's arrival, and then away again. She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts for now. Perhaps it was best that Lightning worked through them on her own, before Fang attempted to corner her.
Too bad gysahl greens didn't work on humans the same way they did on chocobos. Fang could have used the edge.
With no herbs, the gorgonopsid meat was going to be fairly tasteless, and probably tough. Vanille had always been the cook, so Fang would just have to work with what she was given.
Fang went to work on it, skewering pieces on a few stray sticks and setting them over the fire to cook. Lightning didn't say a word about 'inevitable charcoal', and didn't even twitch in recognition when Fang rose to wash her hands off in a nearby stream. When Fang returned, however, Lightning seemed to have decided something.
Well, about damn time.
Fang sat cross-legged on the ground by her, and waited for her to speak.
Lightning's voice was slightly hoarse when she finally spoke.
"Over the past few days, I've… I've been a…" She seemed to be struggling to find the right words.
"A jerkwad, a slave-driver, and a hardarse," Fang helpfully pointed out, grinning as Lightning's eyes narrowed at her flippant bluntness. "But you do usually have your heart in the right place, so I'd say that squares us. So, now that that's out of the way, what has been on your mind?"
Lightning's glare faded into a weary look. "Between Serah, Snow and Hope? I've got enough worries on my mind. But, lately, I…"
"You need to learn how to relax," Fang declared suddenly, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and raising an eyebrow at the woman next to her. "Seriously. Just let go for a while, and I reckon you'll be so much the better for it."
"Tch. Haven't exactly had much of a chance to do that. My sister was taken by the fal'Cie, then there was the Purge, I became a l'Cie and ever since then I've been actively hunted by the Sanctum. Not really much time to relax," Lightning said quietly.
Fang shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "There's always now. I don't see any PSICOM, or any 'scary Gran Pulse monsters' lurking around right now."
"I wasn't aware that relaxation was like flicking a switch," Lightning said, meeting her eyes squarely with the retort. That was better – it was a lot more 'Lightning' than wallowing in angst and guilt.
Still. Fang had to see how deep this went, even if she might be slogged for it later. Easiest way to do that? Bait her response.
"Cheeky. I like that," Fang replied airily, keeping an eye locked onto Lightning's face for a reaction – if there was any. There it was. Fang couldn't tell if it was just the crimson light of the fire, or if stoic, controlled Lightning was actually blushing.
This is more fun that I thought it would be. Fang's grin widened. Who'd have thought? She's actually interested, even if she won't admit it.
"You're not all that bad, when you aren't freaking out," Fang told Lightning lightly, dying to probe further into the matter.
"Good to know I have your approval," Lightning muttered in response, but Fang could pick up on the hesitation in her voice. It was barely perceptible – Lightning was damn good at self control. But Fang was better, and body language was one of her strong points. Lightning was severely off-balance.
That could be enough for Fang to weasel the confession out of her. Could be.
After that near-beating she got before, Fang felt she rightly deserved to know what was really going down, and if her instincts were correct.
"The more you know," Fang said with a smirk, watching Lightning's reactions carefully and her mind racing.
Okay. She had a working plan now. This would either solve everything, or end with Fang's jaw broken and her ribcage smashed in. What could she say? She loved a good challenge where the stakes where high, and Lightning was the biggest challenge of them all.
There was silence again, and Lightning kept her eyes fixed on the skewers of food in the fire, watching them cook. Fang seemed entirely oblivious to the state of her food, even if the stench of the burning flesh was overpowering. Worse, Fang seemed to be watching her like a hawk.
Eden damn it all.
It was difficult not to get sucked in by Fang's charm, Lightning noted as the uncomfortable silence continued. That was the worst part in all this – that Fang could just barge her way back into Lightning's good graces and not bat an eye at the confusion she brought. Every time that Fang implied that she enjoyed Lightning's company, it set her heart racing but filled her with an icy fear all at once.
"So. Your sis, the lug and the kid are bothering you? And you're sure that's all?" Fang questioned, while crawling over to the fire to move the burning meat from the fire for a while.
"What else would there be?" Lightning tried not to watch the play of crimson light over Fang's body. After a quick examination of the food, Fang flopped back onto the ground, next to her. Lightning scowled. Did Fang have no concept of personal space?
"You seem close. With Serah." Fang was watching her again, those unnervingly green eyes making Lightning even more uncomfortable. She shifted slightly, trying not to be so obvious about creating distance between them.
"…we used to be close, I suppose. My parents died when I was fifteen, and I virtually raised Serah from that point on." Hopefully, the information would distract Fang from the fact that Lightning was edging away from her.
Fang rested her chin in her palm. "Must have been hard on her. Serah got herself another mother, but I wonder if she'd have preferred the sister."
Not long ago, Lightning had asked herself much the same thing. If she'd been a little closer, a little less preoccupied with what she thought was best for Serah… Maybe Serah wouldn't have become a l'Cie. Maybe this whole mess would have been averted, crisis over.
What Lightning wouldn't give to have her time again…
"A harsh truth, but it's still true. I'm nowhere near as close with her, as you and Vanille are. I regret that." There. She said it, and hopefully Fang would take the bait and leave her alone already. Lightning would disguise her emotional confusion as simple jealousy of the sisterly bond. It was for the best.
"Do you now?" A cocky grin spread over Fang's face. "Really? Seriously? You want to be as close to Serah, as I am with Vanille?"
"Is there something wrong with that?" Lightning asked, slightly annoyed. It felt suspiciously like she was walking into one of Fang's traps. That grin didn't look promising.
"Huh." Fang tilted her head, tapping her cheek thoughtfully. Those green eyes seemed to dance with barely-concealed amusement. "Never took you for the kinky sort."
Kink… kinky sort. Lightning closed her eyes, fighting not to gape at what Fang was implying, or slam her fist into that smug face and watch Fang bleed over the grass. That second option was looking awfullyattractive at that moment. Before Lightning had the chance to act, Fang went on, still smirking at her.
"I would do anything for Vanille. I don't set any boundaries on my love for her."
Lightning's mind went blank for a moment. Was Fang implying what Lightning thought she was implying?
"Are you saying you and Vanille… are…"
Lightning couldn't bring herself to say it. Of course. Fang and Vanille really were lovers. Looking back, it had been obvious. She'd been picking up on it, that was why it made her so uncomfortable and confused.
She rose to her feet swiftly, unable to bear being in Fang's company. Not yet. Not until she became used to the idea. Lightning clenched her teeth. Not until she got used to the idea that there really was no hope at all, and that she'd been stupid to even subconsciously want something else. As Lightning turned to stride off into the darkness, something gripped her wrist and tugged.
"And where do you reckon you're heading this time, Light?" Fang asked, keeping a steady grip on Lightning's arm. She was still grinning – was she glad she'd fooled Lightning like this? Lightning jerked her arm from Fang's hand sharply, scowling at her.
"Away," she said roughly, striding away. Her shoulder began to throb again – damn healing magic wasn't as strong as it needed to be. This time she got four steps before Fang grabbed her good shoulder, now so close Lightning could feel her breath and her warm body. A shiver of anger and fear raced down her spine. Lightning whirled with a snarl, swinging a vicious left hook at Fang's jaw.
Fang caught her fist just inches before it impacted, grinning at Lightning's cold fury with a calmness that was astounding.
"You're so predictable when you're mad," Fang's voice was teasing, and her grip slackened as Lightning jerked away. Breathing hard, Lightning straightened. Violent emotions shortened their time as l'Cie, so anger and panic were only going to make things worse. Lightning shook her head, trying to clear it. She had no choice. She had to get out of here.
"I need some time to be alone," Lightning told Fang shortly, turning her back on the other woman. "Do not follow me."
Lightning was prepared for Fang's grip this time. As Fang's hand tightened around her shoulder, Lightning pivoted and slammed a sharp sucker-punch against Fang's ribs, one that should have been powerful enough to knock her away. Fang grunted at the blow, but if anything she tightened her grip on Lightning's good shoulder.
"Oh, that's it, Sunshine." Fang's voice sounded a little tight, and then suddenly Fang's leg had hooked behind her own and she'd been thrown bodily to the ground. Lightning snarled as she realized that Fang was attempting a grappling arm-bar on her, and manoeuvred just enough to thwart the action. But Fang was too close, and she was leaning in-
"This get you hot? Is that it?" Fang whispered harshly by her ear. Lightning growled at that, and panting, she managed to reverse their positions. She had to end it quickly. Fang was a dangerous opponent, especially when provoked.
Lightning moved quickly to draw Fang down into a submission chokehold. The other woman struggled as Lightning squeezed her neck into the crook of her elbow, moving so that Fang's own weight added to the pressure. Just as quickly, though, Lightning felt the wind leave her lungs explosively.
Somehow Fang's elbow had located her solar plexus and had slammed into it – hard. Lightning bit back a breathless groan as the other woman struggled free from the chokehold. She was still off-balance just long enough for Fang to complete the armbar, forcing her to follow it down to the grassy earth.
Pressure and pain warred in her joint, and with a gasp she tapped on Fang's forearm to slacken the grip. Fang reluctantly complied, but she took her time about doing so.
"That was a dirty trick," Lightning spat at the other woman. She was still struggling to regain her breath, and she was burning with anger and humiliation.
"What can I say?" Fang panted. She smirked down at Lightning, clearly pleased with her victory. "When you're up against a tough opponent, you gotta do all you can to win. Such as your little chokehold trick, if-you-catch-my-drift," she added meaningfully. "I wonder. Whatever could I have said to get that violent response? Hm. Bears some thinking about, hey?"
Lightning remained silent, her teeth clenched.
Fang sighed. "Look. Light. I'm bloody tired. It's been a long day of monster hunting and fruitless exploration. I'd seriously appreciate it if you'd just chill the hell out, and then damn well say what's been getting up your nose. You might be surprised with the response you get."
Lightning let her muscles go slack. There was no sense in running any more – Fang had already guessed it. All there was left to do was to confirm her suspicions. Fang sensed the fighting spirit leave her, and eased the pressure on her shoulder altogether. She moved away, allowing Lightning to sit up again.
Her shoulder throbbed, and she pressed a hand to it to cooling healing magic. The pain dulled again.
"Looks like your focus is so bad your magic's on the fritz," Fang noted, her eyes serious for once. "Maybe it might pay to get a little something off your chest."
"Tch. You could at least be more subtle about it," Lightning said. The least Fang could do was to leave her some pride.
Fang spread her hands casually. "Hey, subtle ain't my forte. Can't help but note that it ain't yours either."
"You're annoying," Lightning said, her voice harsh. Her fist tightened as her emotions surged, a surge that was so powerful that it became difficult to force the words out. Where was her cherished control now? "I could have handled this on my own. But you just have to shove your nose in my problems. It's unwanted and uninvited."
Fang shrugged. "I'm not too keen on letting our fearless leader turn cie'th, just because she's upset over a little something. Now, stop deflecting. Out with it." Fang's grin turned wicked then, and Lightning met Fang's eyes squarely.
"…every time I see you with Vanille. It…" Lightning hesitated. How exactly was she going to explain this? She barely understood it herself now. The best way was to start from the beginning. "Back when I first met you, you… understood. About Serah, and about Snow and Hope. You were different and it… it fascinated me. And when we got Vanille back, it seemed as though we were no longer… friends. It bothered me. It's only today that I understood why."
Fang's eyebrow was raised, mouth twitching in a vain attempt not to smile. "So in simpler words, you got jealous of Vanille for stealing a friend away? Or because…" Fang trailed off, chuckling. "You thought you no longer had a chance with me."
"Bluntly, I suppose that's correct." It was far easier to pretend that this was a mission report to Lieutenant Amodar. Easier to distance herself from the problem, to let it be something impersonal, rather than something soul-destroying.
"Nice to see that stick's still shoved up your arse. Like I said before, for a 'rising star of the military', you don't use your brain that much." Fang's voice sounded amused as she wrapped her arms around her knee.
Lightning frowned at her dismissive tone and blatant baiting. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Vanille's my best friend, my sister and my soul mate. I love her unreservedly, and I would burn the entire world for her sake. In love with her? Hm, that there raises a few issues. For starters, it's kind of hard not to look at her and see the kid who got walloped along with me when we raided Jorgen's stash, back when I turned fifteen." Fang grinned, deliberately catching Lightning's eye and giving her flirtatious wink. "For second… She's not really my type."
Lightning felt herself shiver, both from Fang's words and Fang's actions. "So you're not with Vanille."
It felt a little strange to say that, aloud.
"A tad relieved? 'course you are, everyone wants their chance with Oerba Yun Fang. But, that raises a fair question," Fang said, placing a gentle hand on Lightning's shoulder to get her attention again. The firelight seemed to make her skin glow a reddish gold, causing Lightning's breath to catch in her throat. "If I'm interested, what happens next, Lightning? Where should we go from here?"
As Lightning forced herself to look away from Fang, she had to admit that it was a good question. They were miles from base camp, in the middle of hostile, hell-like Pulse – Gran Pulse, she reluctantly corrected herself – now that it was out in the open, what exactly were they going to do about it? The answer was clear in her mind.
"We go back to camp, and nothing ever happened."
Fang's grin slid crookedly from her face as she demanded, "You for serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Lightning asked, feigning a disinterested shrug. Seeing Fang's incredulous expression was sweet vengeance for all those playful barbs and that constant baiting. She hid her smirk behind the emotionless mask that seemed to have steadied, for now.
Fang huffed as she leaned back. "Well, that's a boring outcome. After getting slogged with that Etro-painful punch to my ribs? I was hoping for better compensation than that." Suddenly, she grinned wickedly. "But I stand by what I said before. You need to relax."
"Tch." No prizes for guessing what Fang meant by getting her to 'relax', Lightning thought with a hint of irritation.
Fang laughed when she saw Lightning's annoyed look, her green eyes reflecting her amusement. "Such venom! Your way with words could really make a woman swoon, Lightning."
"What do you want to happen, then?" Lightning asked, choosing to ignore the light taunt. But she wasn't entirely sure she was ready for something like that yet – not after she'd only just figured it out. She needed time to get used to it, let it sit more easily in her head.
Right now, it just felt awkward and out of place, that it wasn't really her, having these feelings and realizations. Lightning wasn't even sure if she wanted things to progress at all.
Fang was making a great show of looking thoughtful, though. "Depends. I got a few ideas that might be fun, and could lead to some interesting places-"
"Don't even start this." Lightning moved quickly to cut her off.
"Oh, c'mon. Not even a kiss?" Fang's voice took a slightly wheedling tone, as if she were trying to convince Lightning to buy the next round of drinks at a bar.
"Fang," Lightning growled.
Fang threw up her hands in defeat, but there was still the ghost of a smirk on her lips. "Alright, fine then princess. A kiss on the cheek for my troubles? Surely you can swing that."
Lightning didn't even deign that one with an answer, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Fang's carefully innocent look. She wasn't going to do any of those things, not yet. Maybe not ever. Fang had to understand that.
"Pfft. You really are no fun," Fang complained with a sigh, flopping back against the rocky wall. There was silence, only punctuated by the crackling of the fire. The skewers of meat were beginning to blacken and smoke now.
But Fang was right, even if it was just meant to be a light-hearted complaint. Lightning wasn't exactly the mostfunto be around. Boring, flat, stoic, focused on one thing and one thing only. She'd been that way for a long time. But she wasn't really happy with Fang thinking of her as boring, though. She enjoyed Fang's company – her stomach fluttered a little then – and she hated to admit that she wanted Fang to enjoy hers as well.
She glanced at Fang's pouting profile quickly. She was… Lightning swallowed unsteadily. Fang was gorgeous, and the reddish light highlighted the intensity of her green eyes, played over the toned muscle and curves of her body. Lightning looked abruptly back to the small fire.
"…fine." Her voice was deliberately quiet.
"'Fine' what?" Fang's lips were twitching in the effort to fend of a grin. Was she laughing at Lightning?
"If you're going to be difficult, this isn't happening," Lightning told the other woman in a voice that she hoped was calm and collected. She certainly didn't feel that way. Her heart was racing and she was finding it difficult to get her throat working properly.
"Trust the Drill Sergeant to have the sense of humour – and romanticism – of a goat," Fang said with a grin, shifting on the ground so that she was facing Lightning again. "So you're graciously consenting to a kiss, then?"
"That's correct," Lightning said with a curt nod. The romanticism of a what?
Lightning set her jaw determinedly. That was it. She was going through with this, no matter how embarrassing or awkward it could be. Fang just tilted her head, resting her chin on her palm and looked Lightning straight in the eyes, her green eyes searching for something. Lightning's mouth felt dry, her heartbeat pounded in her ears and she seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. She felt stripped bare from the heat from that look.
Fang nodded to herself finally, and reached out her hand. Lightning tensed as Fang leaned forwards and touched her cheek. The other woman's hand felt warm, if slightly roughened by the calluses on her palm and fingers. Lightning had to force herself to breathe out as one of Fang's fingers traced under her jaw line, tilting her chin up gently as Fang edged closer. Another hand combed fingers through Lightning's wild bangs, a welcome distraction.
Eden, but Fang was so close now – the first pangs of something that felt a lot like panic contracted her stomach painfully. Fang paused, her lips not an inch from Lightning's ear. The hand tangled in her bangs brushed them aside gently as Fang told her quietly,
"Relax, Light, or you're not gonna enjoy it. Anyone would think you don't want this…"
With that final 'sage' piece of advice, Fang tilted Lightning's chin upwards. The sudden pressure of Fang's lips on her own was dizzying, and it was only because Fang's hands held her steady that Lightning didn't break contact. Her lips were warm, placing soft and gentle kisses that seemed to devour every ounce of energy from Lightning's body and every scrap intelligence from her mind, constant and reassuring.
I think that's more than one kiss, Lightning noted somewhere in her mind. Taking a handful of silken fabric to steady herself, Lightning felt her eyes close, her mind hazy from the new sensation. She was supposed to kiss back, wasn't she? She felt Fang twitch in surprise at her sudden response.
Fang's lips pressed against her own again in a lingering kiss, her fingers moving from under Lightning's chin to hook her arm around Lightning's waist. Lightning vaguely realized that Fang's other hand was still tangled in her hair, and let the other woman pull her closer. She could feel Fang's warm body pressed tight against her, feel the wiry strength of her arms and the soft curves of her breasts against her own. Fang kissed her lips once more, before moving against her skin in a lazy trail to Lightning's ear.
"You aren't the first to feel like this, and I'd say you ain't going to be the last to feel it either," Fang murmured against it, but obviously not seeing fit to release Lightning from her hold. Lightning felt a shiver run down her spine at the sensation of warm breath on her neck. "It's not a bad thing that you feel like this."
Lightning was of the opinion that it was a little early to be making that call yet, and opened her eyes slowly. Her head was swimming, and her heart was still pounding. Well, she'd done it. She was just sorry that it was over. She hadn't been expecting such gentleness from a woman who was normally violent and arrogant.
"Fang," Lightning said quietly, looking over towards the fire. She frowned.
"Mm?"
"The food's on fire."
A/N: At least we got THAT part out of the way, huh? Next chapter will probably take longer to write up, since I've got a lot of holiday prompts to fill before their deadlines, and the chapter itself is looking to be massive. Then I'm going away for a week and a half on a road trip after Christmas. Fun times, but gives me less chances for updating, so I wouldn't expect much until mid January for the next one. As always, feedback and reviews are greatly appreciated!