Chapter 2 of drunk commentary: the second coming. That's what she said! Ahaha, I'm so funny(!)
It sounded like you all had great Halloweens! I'd love to see some pictures of your costumes! My Halloween comprised of going to the dentist (I have near-perfect oral hygiene, so it wasn't the frightening experience I was expecting for Halloween), then to my boyfriends for dinner. I put a white shirt and black cardigan on over my jeans and dressed as a Gryffindor student (complete with Gryffindor tie, scarf and the Elder Wand, which my boyfriend got me for our 4 year anniversary). Even though we only ate sweets and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas in bed, I feel strange if I don't dress up.
I turned 20 on saturday, and I'm now going on my social networks/blogs/whatever and changing the age my profiles. As my cousin so nicely pointed out to me, "it means when filling out forms you have to check the '20-29' box now". Cheers, Joe.
The chapter after this is where I was preeeetty drunk and my typing was terrible. I'll post an spell-checked version on here and the unedited on my blog.
As always, I hop you enjoy this chapter. I'm now off to sniffle and groan my way through uni work with what appears to be nature's birthday present: a cold.
AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 (You don't have to be 70 to know this is stupid) ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111
I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B"lody Mary, Socrates (SOCRATES? Did she get in the Flux Capacitor or use the Tim Toner?) and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.
"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111" (I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN'T FUCKING SPELL!)
"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.
"Oh hey there bitch." (Can I use this at uni? Would I get expelled from my course?) Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom. (She has issues)
Hi fuker." I said (No. I want to say THIS at uni!). "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I"m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too." (Of course you do! Cue more needless "I WAS WEARING A BLACK CORSET WITH A LOAD OF CORSET STUFF ON IT AND FISHNETS AND BOOTS AND WHITE FOUNDATION AND BLACK EYELINER AND A BILLION FUCKING PIERCINGS IN MY EARS" talk)
"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) (Do I even need to comment on this? Really? It's chapter 36, we get the point by now) gasped B"lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?" (Predictable. Seriously, Tara, make me work here!)
"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry. (To use her way of addressing people: "No, bitch")
"I can"t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.
"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also...sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly. (I don't even know what to say)
"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let"s go.
We went sexily to Potionz class (HUH?). But Snap wasn"t there. Instead there was...Cornelio Fuck!11111 (CORNELIO FUCK? THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME ALL DAY, INCLUDING A DISCUSSION ABOUT TV SHOWS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD LIKE OAKEY DOKE AND EL NOMBRE IN UNI!)
"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.
"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111" (Hey! Unnecessary!)
My friendz and I talked arngrily.
"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly. (No, surprisingly, nobody can believe it! Actually, I got Company magazine's High Street Edit and they had a section on unlikely style icons, and Snape was in it in a section on cloaky coat things! Snape as a style icon! But I digress)
"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111" (Ooh, scary!)
He stomped out angrily.
Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer (xxxHardxCorexxx). Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard. (What the hell? Pedo!)
"WTF is he doing?" I asked. (I wanna know too!) Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. (Suddenly… he was so much more sex - doesn't he always wear eyeliner?) Suddenly..."HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted. (Killing himself to exclude himself from this horror story!)
I looked around...Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 (*crossing fingers*please be Roofies, PLEASE be Roofies…) Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily. (… with their penises?)
"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid (YEAH HARGIRD YOU PREPPY GOTH MAN CHILD!). Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was...Amnesia Portion!111 (HOLY FUCK, CALL THE WIZARD POLICE!)