A/N: As a note, I should say this. The scenes in the Massiff are optional, thus I'm not including them in this fic's scope of events. Things just got too murky when I tried. Thus, Vanille has yet to speak about her memories of the War of Transgression, nor of the role Ragnarok played at the War's conclusion.
Also, mostly going by memory of the game's events right now, and the Fang/Ragnarok connection's revelation I remember being murky at best. I don't have the time to view a Let's Play, and my PS3 is with my girlfriend, who lives 3 hours away. ((sigh)) Totally getting that PS3 back for Arkham City.
That said, I accept responsibility for any inconsistencies between this fic and the game's canon.
The Earthworks
The Mah'habara Subterra – or whatever strange name Vanille had called it – was a giant tunnel that seemed to stretch on forever, winding and twisting, and wide enough to comfortably accommodate an entire squadron of Guardian Corps soldiers. Walking abreast. With all the bells and whistles of a major operation. Not only was it wide, but they'd been travelling for what felt like hours, and part of Lightning began to wonder if the caves would end at all.
Even with plenty of room in which to fight, the damp smell of earth, and the shuffle of unseen monsters moving in the darkness still kept her on edge. Lightning tightened her grip on her blazefire saber, and she pushed ahead relentlessly. There was no time to back down. They just had to keep going, or they'd never even make it as far as Oerba.
Forcing herself to dismiss the morbid direction of her thoughts, Lightning glanced around. With the way cie'th and all manners of old robotic militia kept lunging from the dark at them, Lightning was glad she had both Sazh and Snow to watch her back, though she'd never admit it. Even Snow's forced enthusiasm stopped grating, when it felt like one wrong step could mean the end of their journey.
Much further back, she could hear the echoes of Fang's party taking down monsters that Lightning's team had managed to avoid. Lightning made a small sound of amusement – it sounded like Fang was taking her clean-up mission seriously, if the whoops and roars of battle were any indication.
Lightning turned her attention back to the murky path that lay ahead of her group. In spite of her restraint, a small part of Lightning kept listening to the sounds of battle, wondering if Fang was as vocal and feral in the bedroom, as she was in battle.
Mind on the job, or your next step might be your last, Lightning rebuked herself quietly, remaining watchful of the flickering shadows on the edge of her vision, cast by the ruins of a dead civilization. Perhaps later, she'd have to ask Fang what this network of tunnels had been used for, back before the War of Transgression. From the looks of all the rusted machinery and the deep pits of blackness, she had to guess that it had been used as some sort of mine.
Her group had been travelling in the semi-darkness for a good few hours, before the subterra's path split off. All exploration grinded to a halt as Lightning slowed warily, resting a hand on her hip as she gave each direction a brief once-over. Snow stopped a few paces ahead of her, took one look at the branching paths, and then heaved a sigh.
Lacing his fingers above his head and stretching, he muttered, "None of 'em look all that promising, Sis. That ain't fun."
Too true, Lightning agreed, nodding curtly. Both directions were dark, treacherous, and probably infested with monsters, rogue machinery and cie'th. There was not a lot of choice. She glanced over to where Sazh was standing.
He shrugged as he caught Lightning's questioning look, holstering his guns. "Guess all we can do is wait for the demolition trio to rock up. What's taking them?"
At his seemingly innocent question, the more suspicious part of Lightning flared into life, slyly wondering if Fang was back there, laughing up last night's confession with Vanille. Lightning crushed the thought ruthlessly. She was just being paranoid, and Fang's group were just doing their agreed upon task for the day. She couldn't complain when they were actually doing their job, for once.
"Tch. Last I heard, they were engaging those Pulsework Centurions we avoided. They can't be far," Lightning said finally, keeping her voice even to disguise her growing irritation with the wayward squad. With a sharp flick, she switched the bulky comm. link on her wrist to active. Sazh had rigged up the crude system, using a network of crystals and thunder enchantments. It was basic, but useful.
"Beta, this is Alpha. We've encountered a technical problem and can no longer advance. What's your position?"
The radio crackled with feedback, and there were a few tense moments as Lightning wondered if the other group was going to answer at all. Had they all been knocked out by those hoplites? Maybe it had been a bad idea to call Fang on her usual boasts, Lightning realized with a sinking stomach. Those monsters would have been tough, even for a Gran Pulse native, even for someone as capable as Fang-
Suddenly, the radio blared into life.
"What the hell is this Alpha-Beta bullshit you came up with?" Fang scoffed, her voice sounding distorted by the poor quality radio. "I'll have you know, Sunshine, that if anyone's gonna be the Alpha around here,it's gonna be-"
The Pulsian woman's rant was abruptly cut off, and there was the sound of jostling and curses. Lightning waited, rubbing her temple with her free hand, while Snow just guffawed at Fang's comment over who had leadership over who. She shot him an annoyed look. Juvenile ass.
"Sorry about that, Light." The new voice was younger and clearer. Hope, then. "Fang got mauled pretty bad by some Cryohedrons, and Vanille and I aren't sure she's thinking right at the moment. We'll have her patched up in no time, can you just hold on for a bit?"
So Fang really had bitten off a bit more than she could chew, all because of that idiotic boasting. Lightning tried not to feel smug about Fang's bluffs being so soundly called, but it might actually teach Fang a sound lesson about going into battle without proper preparation.
Still smirking, Lightning answered, "Very well. Hope, we'll await your arrival."
It was another half hour before Fang's party shuffled slowly into view. Lightning frowned as they approached, quickly taking in Hope's obvious exhaustion, Vanille's slight limp, and Fang's sweaty, mussed hair. Typical. Fang must have forced them to engage everyenemy they'd come across, and had gotten soundly thrashed by that Cryohedron pack as a result.
Hope reached her side first. He leaned heavily against the rocky wall of the tunnel, and he cast a quick succession of cure spells on himself, sealing up the shallow grazes on his cheek. After having to cure the bone-headed fool that had led them into the mess, Lightning wasn't surprised the boy was drained. Vanille, on the other hand, simply flopped to the ground next to Hope, groaning loudly and muttering threateningly about pigheaded, arrogant narcissists who couldn't be forced to back down from a fight.
Lightning smirked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Covertly, she ran a critical eye over the exhausted huntress. The woman really did look like she'd taken a hard blow to the side of the head, but at the same time, there was something oddly triumphant about the way she was standing.
Lightning looked away, adjusting the settings on her blazefire saber absently. She had to admit, when Fang wasn't being a complete ass – about everything from their Focus, how to play a shots game, right up to matters about Gran Pulse and Cocoon – she could be very attractive. Then again, maybe it was that absolute confidence in her abilities that had first captured Lightning's less… platonic attention.
Of course, she could always count on Fang ruining the effect, by being as obnoxious and overbearing as possible.
"You lot of pansies have no idea how easy you had it on your little scouter mode," Fang declared, loudly, as she rolled a shoulder and massaged her tattooed upper arm.
Lightning eyed Fang warily, as the other woman propped herself against the wall beside the soldier. Scouter mode? Fang had all but volunteered for threat elimination duties!
"But I'll be damned if I can remember rust puddings being such a pain in the arse, back before," Fang continued, grabbing a potion from her pack and downing the neon-blue contents in a single gulp.
"No kidding!" Vanille said, from her seat on the rubble-strewn ground. She stuck her tongue out in Fang's direction, blowing a childish raspberry. "But at least you weren't the one who got splattered in flan from head to toe! No, you just had to dodge at the last moment and let me take the hit! Thanks a lot, Fang."
"Don't you give me that look, Vanille. A quick little water spell fixed that right up." Fang shrugged, tapping the pouting redhead on the head with the folded end of her lance.
Vanille just rolled her eyes, and swatted the spear away. "I know I said you needed to work on your magic, but I didn't want to get drenched then and there!"
"Technicalities," the huntress said with a lazy wave of her hand, as if she could brush the subject aside just like that. Lightning looked aside abruptly, and with a little surprise, realized that her jaw had been clenched, her shoulders tensed.
This is ridiculous, Lightning told herself harshly as she forced her jaw to ease, her shoulders to relax. Jealousy was unbecoming, unprofessional and completely irrational. Besides, hadn't Fang claimed that there was nothing between her and Vanille? Lightning nodded to herself as she sheathed her blazefire saber at her side. There was nothing to worry about. Fang and Vanille were sisters, and they were close, so why was she even worrying at all?
Lightning looked up at the murky roof of the tunnel, frustrated with the seemingly inevitable direction her thoughts had taken. Eden, she didn't exactly have a right to be jealous, either. Not when she'd chosen to forget that last night had even happened.
"The path split off, so we've decided to cover each path with separate groups," Lightning told the group, keeping her voice clipped and strictly professional. She had to get a proper hold on herself, no matter that Fang was raising an eyebrow at the sudden change in her demeanour. "That way, we'll be able to cover more ground."
There was a range of slow nods as they digested the next plan of action. Except for Fang, who still had her eyebrow raised as her eyes skimmed over Lightning's body. Lightning pushed away her irritation, forcing herself not to react to the obvious attention, not to look around quickly to see if any of the others had noticed the difference in the way Fang was treating her.
Fang had just received a blow to the head. Maybe she was a little concussed, or maybe not thinking about what she was doing –
The woman suddenly grinned, as if struck by a marvellous idea. The hair on the back of Lightning's neck prickled in reaction, as if danger loomed around the corner. With a feral expression like that, it wasn't an unfair assumption.
Fang's voice sounded entirely too casual as she said, "If we're splitting up, I vote we have a little… mix-up of parties. Keep things fresh."
Whatever she'd thought Fang had been planning, it certainly hadn't been something like that. Lightning watched Fang, her eyes narrowed. What game was Fang playing at now? Was she attempting to mix up the parties so that she'd have Vanille and Lightning along with her, or was this about something else entirely?
Lightning rested her hand on her hip, realizing that the rest of the group had been looking at her, waiting for her response.
"Whatever," Lightning said, shrugging and turning her back on the lot of them. She'd let Fang decide how to divide the squads, and then she'd see if she was right about the woman's less-than-noble intentions. Maybe it would give her the chance to stop this whole relationship business, before it got too-badly out of hand.
She heard Fang clap her hands together. "Right. So I'll take the bone-head and the old man, since those two princesses can't handle a little mob of Cryohedrons without me tanking it. Vanille, you can keep Hope."
Lightning frowned, looking over her shoulder and meeting Fang's eyes, as the other woman smiled wickedly.
"And you can take Sunshine, too."
With that final order, Fang jerked her head towards Snow and Sazh, shouldering her lance and veering down the path that led right. Without turning, the woman raised a hand in farewell, and the trio faded into the blackness of the tunnel.
Lightning watched until she could no longer make out their forms, her eyes still narrowed thoughtfully.
However flippant Fang had sounded, this was not something she would have decided on lightly. Lightning looked back, to where Vanille was now standing with Hope. No, if there was one thing that that the woman took seriously, it was her duty in protecting Vanille. For Fang to leave Lightning, alone with Vanille, in charge of her safety…
It meant that Fang had a lot of faith in Lightning – or at least that she'd protect Vanille from any danger. She motioned for the other two l'Cie to move into the usual delta formation she required, and began to lead Hope and Vanille down the path that branched left.
Such faith weighed heavily on Lightning's shoulders, and made her wonder why Fang was even willing to trust her like this. Last night, she'd all but admitted to resenting Vanille's presence. Her brand itched, but she tried to ignore it.
It was a heavy responsibility, indeed.
Fang struck one last blow against her mechanical enemy, smirking with satisfaction as the aged Pulsework Centurion dissolved, leaving nothing but a heap of rusted old parts on the tunnel's floor. She supposed that they weren't all that terrible, for machines that had lacked maintenance for nigh on five hundred years, but these Centurions were just embarrassing to take down. Especially if Sazh wasn't having issues taking them down…
The weakness of these Centurions raised a good question, Fang noted as she blew a stray lock of hair away from her face, and straightened from her battle crouch. Why were only the small blighters of the Gran Pulse mechanized division left? She remembered that there'd been a few nastier ones, but she'd seen neither bolt nor circuit of them.
Yeah, sure. Wish down unholy hell on your party, just so you can cut your eyeteeth on something more sporting than a few rust-bucket centurions.
Sighing, Fang sheathed her lance on her back, and turned back to her new comrades. It seemed that they'd just finished up work on double-teaming the last Centurion. Snow grinned, giving her a thumbs up and a slightly-winded whoop.
Fang crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her chin thoughtfully. With all the teamwork and success that Fang had to brag about, a pretty big part of her itched to grab the comm. link off Sazh, needle Lightning about it, and see how the other three were getting on over on the other side of the subterra.
Well… it was really Vanille and Lightning that Fang was so concerned about. Were they still sidling around each other, eyeing the other off like two feral lobos stuck in a pen, or were they actually taking this golden opportunity she'd given them? This petty jealousy business was getting old, and really, they'd have to be fools not to just sort it all out.
Then again, if there is one person I could count on to be prickly enough not to make nice with Vanille, it'd have to be Lightning bloody Farron. Fang's mood soured, as she failed to imagine Lightning just letting herself get along with Vanille. Stubborn bitch at the best of times, no matter how much I like her.
There was really nothing for it, other than to hope Vanille had gotten the gist of Fang's plan, and was acting accordingly.
Fang snapped back to attention and then twitched in surprise, noting that Snow and Sazh were waiting for her to give to word to move ahead again. A little frustrated, Fang motioned for them to relax.
"I don't know how hard that soldier-girl rides you, but I think it's time for a break."
They weren't going anywhere, not until she did a bit more sleuthing. She sidled up to Sazh as he knelt, digging around in his pack for some food. If she was going to be honest, letting Vanille and Lightning duke it out between themselves had only been half the reason why Fang had wanted to split the teams up.
Sazh, Vanille had told her on the first day back on Gran Pulse, was quite the knowledgeable guy. He'd known a lot about Cocoon and the conflict with Gran Pulse, even if that knowledge that been tainted by the desires of the Sanctum and twisted by the Cocoon fal'Cie. Fang had to scoff at some of the bizarre things she'd seen and heard, up on Cocoon. Gran Pulse as the political bogeyman, compared to that nest of traitorous vipers? Who'd have thought?
But if anyone could fill her in about the War of Transgression, even a version warped by time and the Sanctum, it was Sazh. Fang had noticed that Vanille had been strategically keeping the kindly man away from her, and it had made Fang wonder why Vanille was so eager to do so. The girl was all but running from their old Focus. Well, Vanille wasn't here now, was she? Couldn't redirect the conversation, or hurry Fang along.
Fang feigned casualness as she stretched her arms above her head, ignoring the strange look Sazh was giving her. She took her time, trying to formulate her questions. There was really no easy way to ask this sort of thing – hey, mate, so what's this Ragnarok business about, and why does it relate to me?
It was best to go general, then. Fang couldn't say she was raring to relive her memories of the War of Transgression, either. All that violence, all that death… There was a reason she preferred to live in the present, to focus on the now, rather than dwelling on the blood-soaked ghosts of her past. But Vanille had given Fang no other option, other than to uncover her missing memories herself.
"So," Fang started, giving Sazh another side-long glance, as he straightened with one of those tasteless ration bars. "Since Barthandelus was being all creepy-cryptic up on the Palamecia, I have a few questions. Before we move on, mind."
Sazh just smiled, stroking the chocobo chick that nestled on his shoulder with a thumb. "Those questions being?"
Fang's hand tightened reflexively into a fist.
Here goes, she told herself firmly. Learn the truth, or let those around you suffer. I deserve to know my past, to fill this empty void inside me. Maybe hearing it will remind me of what happened. Maybe.
"I wanna know, what was the War of Transgression like, on your side of the fence? Tell it how you learned it. I won't even jump down your throat if you happen to call Gran Pulse 'evil'."
Sazh leaned back, looking thoughtful as he chewed on his ration bar. What was there to think about? It was a generous offer, if Fang did say so herself, and from what Vanille had said, Sazh loved to talk and share that knowledge of his. This kind of question should have been right up the man's alley.
Snow, on the other hand, had perked up when he'd heard Fang's question.
"Wait. Five hundred years of crystal stasis, that means that you were around for the war back then. Shouldn't you actually remember it?"
Fang shot him a look, all but daring him to open his trap again. He thought Lightning's brass knuckles hurt? She'd soon show him that a backhand from Oerba Yun Fang would break his bloody jaw. At her fierce glare, Snow wisely raised his hands in defeat and shut his mouth. This was a serious topic for her, and if Snow was going to be a blockhead and ruin it, then she was going to kick his arse all the way to the Sulyya Springs.
Etro, but even one more interruption from Snow, and she might lose her nerve and run away like a lobo with its tail between its legs.
"I remember it all too well, Snow. I think you can understand that I had a first-hand experience of the War, but not of how it ended. Not…" she trailed off, and Sazh nodded in understanding.
"The end of the War of Transgression. You were probably already in crystal stasis by the time that rolled around." Sazh crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes distant as he tried to formulate his response. "Man, it's pretty cloaked in mysticism these days, if you look at Nautilus' representation of it. All eidolon battles and unfathomably evil Pulse l'Cie…"
Fang snorted, but didn't vocalize her ire. Vanille had told her all about the, while in the Ark. It was almost hysterical, how the past had been twisted into a parody of what had happened.
Sazh just laughed softly. "Well, I'm sure it's a lot more complicated than that, but the story kinda goes like this. The way it's told to us, Pulse is the one that launched the first attack on Cocoon, and then we retaliated. The stories often play it up as Pulse simply being evil, or maybe jealous of our lives."
He looked at over at Fang, a little uncomfortable with discussing the topic in the presence of a Gran Pulse native. "I'm not sayin' it had any truth to it, but that's how it's told to us."
"History is always written down by the victors. That's just the way it goes," Fang agreed, keeping her voice deliberately mild and motioning for him to continue on. Fang could barely breathe, though, every fibre of her being focused on Sazh and the 'history' he was recounting. Everything that she remembered, everything that she didn't remember could be riding on what Sazh was telling her. She could feel her pulse quickening, sweat trickling between her shoulder blades. She rolled her shoulders.
Concentrate, damn you. Remember.
"Anyhow. The War was brutal, enough to instil fear into the people of Cocoon, even five hundred years after the fact. Machinery matched machinery, troops matched troops, and in the end it all boiled down to the l'Cie of both sides. Super soldiers, doing more damage alone than entire armies."
Fang remembered that part. She'd always remembered that part. She'd never be able to forget the blood, the screams, shattering metal and sparking circuits as armies had clashed with invaders from the sky – but there was something different about hearing it from someone else. Something hypnotic and strange, a complete dissociation. It wasn't her past. Etro, it was almost like Sazh was telling a story about heroes and feats of bravery –
She would have laughed at that, had she been sure she wouldn't have roared instead. There hadn't exactly been a lot of heroes, or even honour,in the War of Transgression. Just a lot of fear, and clinging to life by the skin of her teeth.
Looking back, she remembered that she'd fought a lot, perhaps more than she'd needed to, just so that the Gran Pulsian generals wouldn't send Vanille out to the front lines. She'd remembered thinking that if she couldn't protect Vanille from the Focus and Anima's wrath, then she'd protect Vanille from the horrors of the War and keep her sister safe.
Yes, that was right.
She'd fought so that Vanille wouldn't have the shadows in her eyes, the shadows that spoke of pain and violence. It was a bitter realization, to know that those same shadows lingered in Vanille's eyes now, in spite of all Fang had sacrificed. A failure on Fang's part, then.
Ragnarok.
It was the source of the anguish, the crystal-dulled echo of memories in Fang's mind, Vanille's deeper sadness - it always came back to that. Fang's mind flickered on the cusp of blissful ignorance and eternal knowledge. But she was no coward, and she'd sought these answers since she'd awoken in Bodhum.
Sazh was still talking, though, still recounting a version of the War that seemed so familiar, and yet not.
"-like I said. The end-game was all l'Cie fighting l'Cie, as the last assault was mounted. Cocoon wouldn't be able to repel another attack, and stories say, it was much the same for Pulse. How often does a war ever boil down to one last stand, for both sides, huh?"
Fang twitched, an old memory suddenly vivid and rough in her mind.
"Yun, Dia, you don't have a choice here! If we don't strike those vipers down today, then there's not going to be a tomorrow for us! Fill your goddamn Focus and wipe them out!"
The voice was harsh – not a l'Cie, but a commanding officer. And she had struck at Cocoon. It had been part of her Focus. The Focus. What was it? Fang's heart was pounding in her ears. Her eyes were open, fixed on the far wall of the tunnel, staring but not really seeing the darkened, ground-down rock. Her mind was far away, racing through half-formed memories that were springing up now, like desert flowers after the rain.
She was starting to get it.
"In those last hours of war, one of the Pulse l'Cie turned into a vicious beast using some treacherous Pulsian magic. Struck a huge blow against Cocoon, which is that giant rent you can see, even from down here. Our l'Cie, summoner of the Eidolon Ramuh, used the last of his strength to stop the beast, and ended up saving Cocoon.
"The War of Transgression ended with the Pulse l'Cie's failure to destroy Cocoon. The conflict died, though there would be periodic surges. Looking back, and looking at what Pulse is like now… it was all publicity stunts by the Sanctum, designed to herd us like sheep to slaughter. There was no ongoing threat from Pulse. There wasn't anyone left to fight, was there?"
Crystalized, for a Focus to destroy Cocoon. A Focus she'd never actually filled. That seemed important, but her mind seized on the reforming memories of striking out against Cocoon.
Power, overwhelming her. Vanille. Hatred. Despair. Rage.
She remembered blood, death, and the feeling of circuits crushing under her claws as she'd slain the opponent Eidolon. And then… she felt her fingernails biting into her palm as she clenched her hand into a tight fist again. Then there had been light, and the whirlwind of hatred had vanished like it had never been there.
The War of Transgression had finished up with a bang – Fang could remember the massive backlash of destructive magic emanating back from her, even as her mind had been lulled into crystal stasis. Her last thoughts had been ones of failure. Everything around her had burned – and then she'd woken up with Vanille, inside Anima's vestige, centuries afterwards. No memory. A Focus that she couldn't recall. Nothing.
Sazh's voice floated back into her awareness, breaking through her reverie for a moment.
"-sometime afterwards, bits of Pulse were used to repair Cocoon, which was how Anima's Vestige got to Bodhum. Which kick-started this whole mess with the Purge…"
The words, Sazh's recounting of the War of Transgression, didn't matter anymore. Fang had no need of them, because the memories had returned, and now? She just wished they hadn't. But it was far too late for regrets, now. Fang had pursued this, she'd chosen to find out what had happened all those years ago.
No bloody kidding that ignorance is bliss, but… Vanille, why didn't you tell me?
Everything had come together. Fang been Ragnarok, all those years ago. She'd torn at Cocoon, and when she'd failed at her Focus, it had sent waves of destruction to rip humanity from Gran Pulse, too. All of the destruction she'd seen so far, the empty ruins, the ripped doors of the subterra, and the hollow watchtowers – it had all been her fault. Her Focus. Her doing, as nothing but a monster dandling on the whims of the fal'Cie.
The shadows in her sister's eyes, the pain when she looked at Fang – all this time, Vanille had remembered everything.
It had all been for Vanille, for exactly the same reason I'd fought so hard in the War. So she wouldn't have to suffer summoning Ragnarok.
Fang could be wrong, though. She'd seen it before, all the time in the War. Battle-hardened soldiers falling prey to false memories of what had happened, interpreting situations as disastrously wrong. Ambiguity could kill a hunter – she had to take it easy, had to think logically. Calm. What would Lightning think, if she was running around like a headless chicken?
Fang shook her head. She couldn't just jump to conclusions. She needed Vanille to confirm – or deny – the theory. To confirm that it really had been Fang's actions had wiped out their world… But with how cagey her sister was being, it wasn't going to be easy to get anything out of Vanille.
She closed her eyes, motioning for the three of them to move out again. She had to keep moving, and the fighting would distract her from Ragnarok – for a while, at least. Fang just hoped that Vanille and Lightning were having a better trip through the subterra than she was.
"So, what exactly do you do, when you're not a Pulse l'Cie?"
Lightning scowled across at Vanille, tightening her grip on the blazefire saber as she quickened her pace again. It was a half-hearted effort to get away from Vanille's incessant interrogation, and the questions that had dogged her since they'd split up from Fang's group. The girl had been clingy and attentive ever since that moment, and Lightning had had it up to here with it.
"Why the sudden twenty questions?" Lightning asked, her voice rough, deliberately evading the latest of Vanille's topics.
"Why are you avoiding them?" Vanille easily kept up Lightning's pace, and she was all but dragging Hope along behind her, too.
"Maybe it's because I don't want to die," Lightning ground out, her jaw tight and her scowl deepening. Vanille's sudden and persistent over-interest in Lightning's private life couldn't have been a coincidence, not with the little discussion the two sisters had had before they'd left the Vallis Media.
Bullshit you were going to keep it from Vanille. You couldn't wait to spill your guts.
Careful to keep a tight leash on her growing anger, Lightning turned the next corner sharply. She crouched to avoid detection from the duo of rust puddings sliding about in the centre of the tunnel, darting quickly past them and motioning for the other two l'Cie to follow her lead.
"Don't be silly, Lightning!" Vanille told her firmly, as she simply waltzed past the rust puddings. A muscle in Lightning's jaw twitched. Did that girl have no concept of caution and care? No wonder Fang thought she had to dedicate every waking moment to keeping Vanille safe! Lightning's tenuous grip on her temper wavered, as she buried her face in her free hand. This was getting ridiculous.
"We're not going to die!" Vanille seemed to be oblivious to the soldier's growing ire. She tilted her chin thoughtfully then, and tapped her cheek with a finger. "Not here, anyway."
From his position at Lightning's right hand, Hope just rolled his eyes. "That's real reassuring, Vanille."
Vanille turned around, walking backwards and pumping her fist in a very Snow-like fashion. "Of course it is! We have a Focus to beat, you know."
It sounded like Vanille had swallowed Snow's relentless rhetoric whole, with that idiotic optimism included. One Snow was more than enough for a lifetime, but at least this version of him didn't have his sights on Serah – that she knew of.
"Beating the Focus doesn't mean that we shouldn't be on guard," Lightning told Vanille in a low voice, as she eased her way past the next group of Centurions. Then she narrowed her eyes. "You need to stop trying to distract me from my job."
Just one wrong move, one moment of inattention, and Hope or Vanille could be mauled by some beast springing out from the darkness. Lightning cursed under her breath as she narrowly ducked a blind swing from another one of those rusted-out Centurions, keeping a steady eye on Vanille and Hope as they followed her.
It had been an unspoken promise to Fang, that Lightning would try to keep Vanille safe, and she… As reluctant as Lightning was about this whole relationship idea of Fang's, she wasn't eager to disappoint the huntress and get Vanille killed.
Even if beheading the Pulse-bred annoyance herself seemed very, very attractive at present.
Vanille, meanwhile, was just pouting at Lightning's abrupt dismissal. "Well, when else am I going to get to know you, Light?"
Lightning snorted in derision, fixing her eyes on the next set of enemies they'd have to find their way past. "Why do you need to get to know me?"
"Reasons," Vanille announced airily, as she spun around to face forwards again. The redheaded thorn in Lightning's side smiled and laced her fingers behind her back, causing Lightning to scowl again. If Vanille had been less insufferably adorable, then perhaps she wouldn't have been so jealous of the girl's closeness with Fang. So, in a way, she could blame Vanille for her current state of emotional turmoil.
And Fang, who would have to be the root of everything irritating and sadistic. Lightning thought, a little viciously, as she tightened her grip on her blazefire saber. She was going to thrash Fang for putting her through this. Lightning still wasn't sure why Fang had gone and split up her carefully planned groups, either.
"You're as bad as your sister," Lightning growled, itching to knock some sense into her inattentive charge.
"Oh, but you like her," Vanille told the soldier, her side-long glance becoming sly as she looked Lightning up and down. "Even if you don't like to show it."
Lightning froze in mid-stride, openly staring at Vanille's brazen threat. Her mind scrambled to work, to try to convince herself that her worst nightmare had not just occurred. Vanille had not just blurted, in front of Hope, no less.
Eden damnit.
Lightning felt her alarm spike in her stomach as she glanced over to Hope, just for an instant. The boy looked entirely too innocent, his eyes fixed on something in the distance, as if he were not trying to listen to the conversation between the soldier and the redheaded annoyance. Lightning's eyes narrowed. That meant that he was hanging on to every word and filing them away for memory.
She looked back to Vanille, her teeth clenched so hard that her jaw ached. So it was going to be like that, was it? If Lightning didn't play nice with Vanille, the girl would tell everybody about what had happened with Fang last night.
Cunning little bitch.
She cursed silently, mentally kicking herself for her mistake. Underestimating Vanille's grit, intelligence and determination had been a bad move, but a small part of her was vaguely impressed with how well Vanille had played those cards.
Lightning exhaled sharply, catching Vanille's eye and nodding. "Fine, let's play this little game of yours."
Vanille smiled brightly at Lightning's admission of defeat. "I just knew you'd see things my way!"
Lightning was silent for a few moments, her mind working, just trying to find a way to start talking. It was more difficult than she'd expected, especially when it was being enforced by a redheaded tyrant. Socialization, conversation – back before this whole l'Cie thing, it had meant little to her. Just means to an end, something she'd never had time for. Not even when it was her own sister.
While she was willing to mentor Hope, tolerate Snow, this was different. This wasn't someone close, like Serah, or Fang – it was Vanille, someone she'd resented for a good week, all through the Palamecia, and all through the Ark. Lightning took a steadying breath, meeting Vanille's wide, green eyes. She was not going to back down from this. She was no coward, no matter how weak she'd been over the past two days.
"When I'm not being hunted down as a fugitive, I…" Lightning paused, shaking her head. Considering the situation, answering such mundane questions seemed ridiculous. "I work for the army, I look after Serah by cooking and cleaning the house, and I train. There's not a lot to talk about."
"Huh, you can cook?" Vanille seemed a little surprised, frowning slightly and looking at the soldier again, as if reassessing Lightning's usefulness. Lightning shrugged off Vanille's scrutiny, turning her attention back to the monsters lingering in the darkness before them. A pair of Centurions. She kept a steady eye on them.
"Serah tends to burn things." Lightning was careful to use the present tense, because Serah was coming back. She had to get herself to believe in that, even if the rest of her life had been one lie after another. She heard Vanille approach slowly, the crunch of grit under boots sounding raw against already-ragged nerves.
"It's much the same with Fang. Doesn't have the attention for cooking, unless she's about to die of starvation. Burns the lot, and I spend the evening removing charcoal from pots and pans, wishing I could hit her with one."
Lightning snorted, as she recalled the meat skewers that Fang had attempted to prepare the night before. The first batch had burned because of Fang's distraction, and the second had been tough, over-done and close to charcoal. Fang couldn't cook? Lightning was entirely convinced of that claim.
"Agreed," Lightning said in a low voice, nodding. Hope, however, was looking perplexed at Lightning's uncharacteristic agreeableness. She supposed it must have been a little surprising – it had taken her a few days to warm up to his presence. Now, it looked as if she'd taken to gossiping with someone that she'd been distant from since the beginning.
"Uh, Light?" Hope asked finally, his voice a little hesitant. "I'm going to go back the way we came. I think I saw something that could be useful. Wait here?"
Lightning nodded, resting her hand against her hip. "Of course, Hope. Keep in contact by radio, and don't forget to stay vigilant."
Normally, she would have gone back with him, to supervise and be certain that he remained safe – but there was something about Vanille's all-too innocent expression that warned Lightning that she wasn't going to escape from the interrogation so easily. Lightning watched Hope's retreating back, until she could no longer make out the colour of his bright silver hair in the darkness.
"Now, I guess we can talk a little more freely. He's a good kid, isn't he?" Vanille said, her smile a little more relaxed, now they were alone.
"Better than most," Lightning replied, mildly amused at the direction the 'feared' Pulsian interrogator had taken the conversation – it was a fair move to pick up on Lightning's pride with Hope's progress. It certainly made this whole idea of Vanille's seem less confrontational and threatening.
"But… Lightning, I know what you do now. But what about the future?" Vanille's expression became a little wistful. "Or are you just going to look after Serah forever?"
Lightning was about to reassure Vanille that she'd always be there to look after Serah – and then paused. That was exactly the problem, wasn't it? When they got Serah and Dajh back – that was when, not if – what then? She'd be back to square one. Last night, Lightning had confessed one of the big problems to Fang – she'd played such a protective role that she hardly knewher sister anymore.
Not only that, but there was Snow in the picture, and that was an issue that was not going to go away. Serah would go on to marry Snow, and where would that leave Lightning?
"…no. I suppose not," Lightning said, softly. "I guess I don't really know what I'm going to do without her. I've been so focused on the past, on being strong enough to protect Serah."
Vanille sighed, as if she'd heard all of Lightning's defences before.
"I haven't really stopped to consider what I want." Even though she loved her sister, would do anything for Serah's sake, there was always going to be those seeds of regret, the memories of opportunities that she'd never taken, all because she'd been so completely consumed by this persona, Lightning. There was so much she hasn't done yet because of the pursuit of perfect strength, lingering on the past and building a fantasy future, rather than creating a now that she could enjoy.
"You two are so alike." Vanille's smile seemed a little strained, now. "It's like talking to a Cocoon version of Fang. But there's one thing the both of you need to learn. It's how to live your own lives, instead of living for others."
Lightning felt a spike of anger, and she turned her back on Fang's sister abruptly.
"So. How much did that woman tell you?" Lightning's voice was cold, unyielding, and controlled. Vanille didn't understand how it was, to have given your life for the sake of someone else. To have promised to protect them, to shield them from the worst of the world. Fang did… but Vanille, she was on the other side of it all, the one Fang had sworn to protect. Vanille was Fang's entire world. She'd never understand.
"I guessed," Vanille replied, gently. "I took one look at the way she was staring at you this morning… and I just knew, you know? She was actually happy. Fang's never been able to hide that kind of thing from me."
"The two of you are pretty thick, huh?" Lightning studied the play of dim light over the worn-down rock face of the tunnel, listening to the grind of machinery in the distance. It was far easier to be impersonal and detached, to ignore the raging jealousy inside her that Vanille had inadvertently sparked. Fantastic. It was a reminder of exactly what Lightning would have to compete against for Fang's attention, her affection.
Vanille's my best friend, my sister and my soul mate. I love her unreservedly, and I would burn the entire world for her sake.
It was far too complicated, and not nearly worth the effort. Lightning knew that. And that was exactly why things would never progress between them, no matter what feelings Lightning had for the huntress.
Vanille reached out for Lightning's shoulder. "Lightning, we've got to get to know each other. It's what Fang wants."
Lightning jerked away, unable to swallow her anger any longer. Not over this presumed relationship. Not over this murky business between Fang and Vanille, a connection that was nearly impossible to navigate for an outsider like her. She was sick of the bullshit, and it was time to end it.
"Fang?" Lightning asked harshly. "Fang doesn't get it. She doesn't realize that – I can't do this. Not now. Maybe not ever."
There was a moment of sudden, shocked silence. Perhaps Lightning's own desires were finally being heard, she thought harshly, instead of being trampled over by Fang or the Sanctum or Barthandelus. She heard Vanille's footsteps echoing through the tunnels. The concerned look on the girl's face was sickening, but it was enough to ground her anger, enough to let Lightning seize control of her wayward emotions.
"Are you having second thoughts?" Vanille asked.
"I always have second thoughts. That's always been the problem." Bitterness rose in her throat, choking her. Eden, to be telling this kind of shameful thing to Vanille, of all people, and blatantly admitting such disturbing weakness in her resolve – had she sunk so low?
"Well…" Vanille trailed off, her hand squeezing Lightning's shoulder gently. "Fang seems pretty sure about you."
"I bet she's sure about everyone she wants to sleep with." Lightning's temper flared again, and she slammed her fist into the rock wall, hard enough to feel the impact jar her wrist. She rubbed the joint, but felt no better from her violent outburst. That was unusual.
"I know I've said this before, Lightning, but you two really are a lot alike. More than either of you seem to get." Vanille tutted to herself and took Lightning's hand in a no-nonsense fashion, a quick cure easing away the pain in her wrist. "Not just with the whole sister complex thing you've got going on, but… it goes deeper."
Lightning made a harsh sound in her throat. "I doubt it."
"Back before, I guess Fang never really liked people. She cared about her hunting and her family. Sure, she was social, and a flirt, but it was always… meaningless, you know? There wasn't anything behind it. She would be all bravado and boasts, but I could tell that she was all frozen inside. She always kept people firmly on the outside – and she was real good at it, except with me. When the war came around, it only got worse."
Lightning didn't answer, her mind working as she silently weighed Vanille's words. She and Fang weren't the same, not by a long shot, but… she supposed that, if Vanille was being truthful, then she and Fang were similar in more than just their vow to protect those that were dear to them. Lightning looked back on her past and she could see the empty bonds of half-hearted friendships, and a solitary and relentless drive to do all she could to protect Serah. Was that was Fang saw, too?
But Vanille was continuing, and Lightning's whole attention was on her now.
"I don't know what you did, but back in Palumpolum, something changed for her. I wasn't there, but you did something."
"I didn't do anything to her," Lightning told Vanille tightly. At least, she hadn't done anything consciously. All she'd done was let Fang talk her around, give her hope about ever seeing Serah again… It was nothing out of the ordinary.
Except that Fang had managed to get under my guard back there. 'Nothing out of the ordinary', yet you let a total stranger in. Both of us were just desperate and stupid.
Lightning sighed as she insisted again, "I didn't do anything at all."
"But you must have, because now she thinks you – and the rest of our group – are family. And she's right." Vanille took a shaky breath. "You're part of our family. So if you're having second thoughts, don't go and hurt her. Be gentle. She's already been through so much."
"The War of Transgression." It was something that Fang conspicuously never talked about, aside from a few vague references when she was pushed. A part of history cloaked in lies, a war between the worlds.
Vanille's eyes were distant, as if remembering the violence that she'd seen in those times. "Among other things."
Lightning didn't press for more, unwilling to force the girl to reflect on memories that were so obviously painful for her. But if there was one thing this little talk with Vanille had brought to light, it was that Vanille was just as much a part of Fang, as one of her arms. If Lightning ever decided to renew her… relationship with Fang, once she'd had time to think after they defeated their Focus, it would be a thorny problem that she'd have to deal with.
Lightning let out a long breath, as Vanille smiled at her again. She'd always be second to Vanille. It bothered her.
It shouldn't. Wouldn't I put Serah above any other?
But now, Vanille was almost begging Lightning not to hurt Fang, to not end this disastrous relationship. Just this morning, she'd thought that Fang wasn't taking this whole thing seriously enough to get hurt, not with the way she'd been so joking and casual about what had happened. But with the sudden trust Fang had placed in her, and now Vanille's words…
She didn't know, anymore. Eden, now it felt like she was second-guessing her instincts at every turn. That was exactly what Fang had caused. Fang, and Lightning's cursed attraction to her. Better to wash her hands of it. Hesitation and second-guessing herself would get her killed. That was all there was to it.
The radio on Lightning's wrist crackled to life. She frowned. Had Hope gotten lost back there?
"Uh, Light? I think I've woke something that I wasn't – oh Eden, that thing is huge!"
Lightning went cold. She was moving in a heartbeat, the tunnel a blur around her as she raced in the direction that Hope had vanished. She'd let this happen, stupidly letting her emotions take precedence over the safety of her allies. She'd been having a heart-to-heart with Vanille, while Hope had been in danger this whole time. The failure burned, and it spurred Lightning to sprint even faster.
She could hear the sound of fierce battle and roaring motors, long before Hope's thin form came into view. Her heart pounding in her ears and her breath burning in her lungs, Lightning skidded to a halt, staring out into the machinery-filled cavern. Hope was fighting – and losing to – what looked like a massive tank, with flamethrowers and chainsaws and cannons all over it.
Her eyes followed her wayward charge desperately – Hope dodged another volley of shots from the mechanical monster, coughing and barely rolling to his feet before he was forced to flee from flames that roared out to consume him.
Vanille slid to a stop next to Lightning, her eyes wide with horror. "Oh no no no, this is bad!"
Ice still gripped Lightning's insides, and she barely heard herself demand, "How bad is 'bad'?"
"Really bad. That's a juggernaut!" Vanille squeaked, drawing her rod from the pouch at her waist. "An anti-Eidolon war-machine!"
"Right." Lightning closed her eyes, steeling herself for what was promising to be one hell of a fight, and leaping forwards to engage the monstrous machine.