This is the chapter where I was at my drunkest, which resulted in spelling errors and mistypings that rival Tara's! I'm editing spelling etc for on this site, but the unedited original is on my Tumblr: lululovegood(dot)tumblr(dot)com(slash)post(slash)14037579270(slash)uneditedmyimmortalcommentary. Remove (dot) and replace with a full stop, etc.

I hope you all will have a very Merry Christmas and happy New Year! Don't be a stranger, Hermione Granger, come and review! I love to read all your reviews!

I've just realised I have only six chapters left after this one! Noooooooooooooooo! Tara please come back and finish this so I can continue to rip the shit out of you!

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL (IT'S SO FUNNY! Either I just had déjà vu or she's said something like this before)

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor. (S S S and M M M!)

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot. (Of course the self-insertion of the author was fucking jizz in my pants hot) "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1" (MAYBE YOU'RE A SLAG?)

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata," (Tata? Some people call their boobs their tatas. "You're so sexy and wonderful anyway, Breasts") said Vampire. "Why would u need it?" (She being a brown-noser Harry. Pull yourself together for fuck's sake!)

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby. (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!)

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly. (Um.. ya. I think you all went over the fact she has to flash her gash around at every opportunity?)

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep. (What's she doing here?)

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room." (Weren't they there in the last chapter? I don't know, I'm a few Millers to the wind right now)

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was. (HOW? Actually, you know what? I don't care)

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez. (GOOD FOR YOU)

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ▒666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset. (Oh god, is Draco goinf to dress up as Frank N Furter or some other shit?)

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag. (… okay. Draco's getting overly friendly with the crazy 80s gothic pre-murderous Voldie)

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco (YOU ARE DRACO). Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now (Fuck my actual life). Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge. (THANK YOU PROFEESSOR RUMBLEROAR)

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came. (For God's sake, everyone has premature ejaculation problems at this fucking school!)

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111 (Piss off!) I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire. (Good) Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 (… duuuuur!) I looked around. It was...Profesor Slutborn's efface! (Ho-ly shit!) I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz...Profesor Slutgorn!11 (Why are you so surprised? It's his fucking office!)

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY. (WUT DA FUK IS ANYONE DOING I SHOOTED ANGRILLY!)

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket. (My pocket?)

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR. (I was gonna say something there but can't remember what)

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. (YOU ARE A HO FO SHO!) "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming." (SERIOUSLY WITH THE PREMSTURE EJACTULATION PEOPLE! And she actually spelt it like orgasm coming this time) said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades (Really?) now." Suddenly Satan came. (Of course he did. This is Whore-warts School for Sex and Orgasms after all!) He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie. (I don't even care. How about this: I'm wearing blue pajama bottoms with a black, grey and white print of flowers and butterflies, with a lilac vest that has a blue, white, pink and green floral print on it. Suck. It.)

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan. (Of course you did. This is so predictable)