Chapter II: Emotions

About an hour later, I finally arrived home. My original home, not the boarding house where I had spent the past few weeks hiding from Klaus. I moved without thought until, I reached the familiar setting of my bedroom, exactly how I had left it just weeks previously. I moved towards my window seat when I caught a sliver of a glimpse at my reflection in my mirror. I turned; facing my reflection fully as I simply stared at the figure before me the girl who looked back at me had deep brown eyes that were filled with so much sadness. I supposed it was only natural for me to look so heartbroken and lost after having lost so much already in my young life. My adopted parents. My biological Mother, Aunt Jenna… But, it was time for me to join them. It's the only way to make it all stop. The only way that I can protect Jeremy as well…Oh, Jeremy.

I needed to leave this place. I couldn't be here, not with all of the memories that enshrouded this house and only served to remind me of all that I have lost. Then again, it might be the only way that I can protect everyone from myself. I just needed air, though, before I carried through with my plan.. My feet travelled along the carpet subconsciously as I trudged down the steps slowly, taking in everything before I lost it forever. I ran my hand over the worn banister as I descended, memorizing my whole life that had taken place in this house. My hand gripped the ornate door handle as I pulled the door open, freezing in my place when I was faced with John, his fist already raised in the air to knock.

I gulped deeply at the sorrowful expression that covered his face as his green eyes flicked up to meet mine.

"Elena, I'm so sorry that I couldn't stop this. I never wanted you to become the one thing that I always tried to protect you from."

"It's okay," I sighed. "Everyone can't stop every bad thing that happens to me. Klaus was just much stronger this time, stronger than all of us. I... I appreciate every single thing, that you all tried to do for me, don't ever doubt that. I'm also happy to know that Jeremy will have someone there for him, to help him through everything."

"Elena, you will still be here. You'll just have to learn how to control the bloodlust and I know that you can do it. You're stronger than anyone I know, you just have to have faith in yourself, Elena. I don't like vampires but that doesn't mean that I'll ever stop being there for you and I'll look out for Jeremy."

I believed him, the sincerity in his voice was impossible to doubt and I appreciated him coming here just to check up on me and offer his support. This would be one of my last days to experience this so I had to enjoy it while it lasted. After all, he was the only family (with Jeremy) that I had left and I wanted to leave on good terms with him. I know, for sure, that he could and would look after Jeremy when I was no longer around.

I smiled in return, the most sincere smile that I could muster up at that moment. He looked at me thoughtfully for a bit longer, then gave a brief smile of his own in return. He turned to leave but I stopped him in his tracks when I offered him a soft murmur of gratitude. "Thank you." He nodded in acknowledgment and stalked off towards his car.

The roar of his engine faded off in the distance as the silence engulfed me once again. I hugged my waist as I looked out into the street, the place I had grown up. Memories flooded my mind and soon, the need to see my friends was unbearable.

A quick drive and I found myself standing outside Caroline's house. I quickly made my way up her porch steps and rapped on the door twice before she suddenly appeared on the other side of the glass. She smiled warmly as she opened the door but the underlying strain was obvious in her posture.

"Caroline, I need to ask you about something…" I trailed off, not knowing how to approach the subject of vampirism.

She gave me a nervous smile and said, "Um, what do you need to know about?"

I couldn't bite my tongue any longer; I had to know what had her so on edge. "Caroline, is everything okay?"

"Yes. Nothing is wrong," She must have noticed the doubtful look on my face because she caved and finally went into confession mode. "Elena, I'm sorry for being strange right now so, I'll tell you what's going on before you find out. You should know that ...that Tyler is in there." I was about to cut in but Caroline must have known what I was going to say before I got a word out.

"Elena, before you go into judgmental mode, Matt and I broke up. It was a mutual understanding. Well, more like he couldn't accept what I was. Tyler is just a whole other story but we are not dating or anything, we're just friends. So, you have nothing to worry about." I hugged her since that seemed like the perfect thing to do in the moment. She hugged me back and then asked what I needed. I could tell from the look in her blue eyes that she knew something was wrong, just not what exactly.

"Caroline, when you were a vampire how hard was it to resist the temptation of killing and taking lives?"

Caroline's face turned a bit befuddled over my question, "I just want to know, I'm just curious about it…"

"Elena, I have to say, you had me worried for a minute." We both laughed for a bit, I was glad that my acting skills were great because she didn't detect the hollowness of my laughter. I really thought she would have seen through me and known why I was asking about vampirism.

"Well, Elena, it was really difficult. You know how it was my first day and I did kill, the blood was just too hard to resist, especially without years of practice. I had Stefan though, he really taught me how to fight the urge to kill, and it helped as well. That doesn't make the blood any harder to resist, for me anyway. I just think that everyone is different."

"So, when did it finally get easier?"

"I'll tell you when I find out myself." She smiled sadly and I had to admit that that information had me a bit wary.

"Elena, don't worry, I know how to control it. I wouldn't eat my best friends." She must have read my mind I presumed; she just shook her head and smiled.

"So, Elena, you still want to come in…?"

"No, it's all right; you told me what I really wanted to know. I'll come back to visit soon. Be careful Caro." I added that last part just because she was still in there with a werewolf even if he did happen to be Tyler.

"Don't worry, E…"

I frowned at the nickname. "E…?"

"Just always wanted to try it." I had to smile; Caroline really knew how to make a person feel better during a time like this.

"Also, it's not like Tyler is going to go and wolf out on me, the sun is up, no full moon day so I'm sure that wolves are the least of my concerns right now." Well, I admitted to myself, she had a point.

Before I turned around to leave, Caroline stopped me in my tracks. "Elena, are you sure you're okay?"

I hesitated for a second, unsure whether to tell her the truth or not. "I'm fine."

Caroline seemed unsure about my answer and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that she knew my dark secret. She stayed silent, however, which I appreciated – if she did happen to know I was glad she hadn't called me out on it yet.

"Are you sure? Are Damon or Stefan back to having problems with their blood thirst?"

I smiled briefly, "Nope."

It was always good to talk to Caroline, I wished I could have been upfront with her about everything but she had enough on her plate right now, hearing a friend was going to die wasn't exactly Christmas type news.

I reluctantly decided to drive straight back to my house. I wouldn't be surprised to see either Stefan or Damon when I arrived home…or … Elijah? I frowned at the sight of the sharply dressed Original. Now, he was not who I was expecting to see.