Okay, so technically this is chapter 41, since chapter 40 is a repost of Tara's original chapter 39 that was hacked and published by a troll, so no use commentating on that one again.
Sorry I've been so long to update, I've had loads of uni work to do, including three written reports/essays, my major project, and organising the end-of-year exhibition. I should actually be doing work now since it's three weeks until deadline, but I'm using any motivation I have to write and post this commentary.
(If anybody can make sense of this, congratulations on your awesome skills) AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.
When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XblakXTearX!11 (Which was...) I looked arund confusedly. (No outfit description? Okay) It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) (Literacy and logic are taking a serious hit today) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. (I didn't know Ringo wore black herbs!) On it said '1980.' (Do some research Tara, they split up in 1970, Lennon was assassinated in 1980)
"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" (I remember when I went back in Tim. It was odd. Tim didn't like it) I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!) (What?). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, (Like Michael Jackson?) blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11 (I can't...)
"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.
"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. (Yeah, because guys love it when you go all short-tempered and naggy) "OMG am I dedd?" (I wish I were dead right about now) koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111 (This is just a funny mental image)
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine. (May I extend my deepest sympathies to all the scientists whose work is taking a serious bashing in this fic)
"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. (Smoke came all over his face? Cumshot) "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing." (HAIRY'S DAD!)
I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. (I know the real reason I'm not reaching for a sharp object to end my misery is because there are so many great pieces of literature that I haven't read yet) "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.
"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly. (I'm getting a fucking stress headache reading this)
"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11 (Was he wearing a t-shirt saying "I AM BISEXUAL" because otherwise you can't tell by looking) He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel (BILLY JOEL!) wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.
"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.
"Dis is...Hedwig!11" (I HAVE FUCKING TEARS IN MY EYES! THE FUCKING BIRD IS A BISEXUAL GOTH! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!) Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. (Arm, wing, whatever)
"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.
"Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. (Hagrid teaches you how to groom a unicorn and train Nifflers to hunt out serum and combs) He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)
"Bye." I sed all sexily.
"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.
"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!). (I can't understand that because of the spelling)
"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys." (A lesson in comma usage. "Cum on, you guys" translates to "follow me!". "Cum on you guys" translates to "ejaculate on you")
Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him. (Lets be fair, if someone I went to school with tried to shoot me, I wouldn't talk to them either)
"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1" (But this is the 80s and they haven't been born yet... apparently)
"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.
"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod. (What?)
"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.
"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort's. (OH MY GOD! Why do so many students have guns in this WIZARDING SCHOOL?)
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame...Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111 (Least dramatic cliffhanger ever)