Chapter IV: Compelled

As I awoke I found myself on my bed. My eyes closed again wearily as I desperately tried to remember what had happened. Hmm... strange. Did I pass out outside? Then suddenly, like a pile of bricks fell on top of me from out of nowhere, a severe pain cut through my throat, radiating deep into my head. In a flash, I felt something like a rag on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Elijah's concerned face hovering over my own.

"You have been on and off with this all day," he stated simply, sadness and sympathy laced in his voice.

I just continued looking into his eyes as I felt myself beginning to be enchanted by them. Elijah's eyes always seemed to hold his true emotions; his stare held all of the words that he didn't say.

"Damon stopped by." Elijah continued on, "don't worry, I got rid of him. With some difficulty, of course, because of his stubbornness, my betrayal and his lack of trust in me." His voice lowered a bit towards the end of his sentence before he continued, yet again. "Stefan stopped by, he looked hurt. He doesn't have faith in me anymore, as is to be expected I suppose."

I looked into Elijah's eyes which seemed genuinely concerned, it made no sense to me. "Why would Stefan leave?" I missed him or, at least, I thought I did. It was strange that he would leave, that seemed out of character for him.

"I compelled him," he said, like he had just read my mind. Then, I began to feel uneasy. I didn't know how I felt about that.

As I continued to over-think how I felt about Stefan being compelled, Elijah himself seemed to be lost in deep contemplation. I wondered what he was thinking about. I guessed the only way to truly know, was to ask.

"Do you want some of my blood?" Now, there went something that I hadn't seen coming.

"Um, what?" I questioned, clearly baffled by what he had just asked me.

"Do you want to drink some of my blood?" he asked again, in that same weirdly concerned voice that he'd been using all day. Odd.

"Why would I want to do that? It's not like it'll help now. It's way too late."

"It wouldn't stop you from dying, no, but it might can heal your body for a few minutes and offer you a reprieve from this torture. You haven't completed the transition yet so your body is dying and in need of sustenance that can only be provided by blood." Talk about being caught in a complicated situation. On one hand, I couldn't do that, there was something too physical and intimate about it to me. Like it was something I should share with Stefan if I were to take blood from a vampire.

"Okay," I surprised myself by that revelation. I couldn't believe that I had just agreed to taking blood from a vampire who wasn't Stefan. Elijah must have expected me to deny his request as well because he pressed his lips together into a firm line and looked completely and utterly perplexed.

Elijah didn't waste any time, though. One moment he was staring directly into my eyes and then the next, his wrist was presented to me and blood was spilling from the twin bites on his skin. I stared intently at his blood, the discovery that I wanted to drink from him overwhelming me. It must have had something to do with my transition. Elijah bent down towards me with a playful smile curling his lips.

I licked my lips in anticipation and moved my mouth to his wrist and just, drank. At first, the taste didn't appeal to me at all. The metallic taste of the iron in his blood penetrated my palette and I shivered in disgust. It took a while to adjust to the sensation of drinking blood and, as I continued to drink, it started to taste, good? The blood was slowly going down my throat and the burning in my throat felt like it was slowly fading but it made my whole body start to tingle as the blood continued to run through my system. Elijah sat still, patiently waiting as he let me drink to my heart's content. I took hold of his wrist as I continued to taste the sweet liquid that ran down my throat.

I thought I heard Elijah call out my name in a struggle but I ignored him as I continued to drink in his blood. The taste of his blood overpowered my senses and I found that I wanted to drink all of him in, too. This was just so uncharacteristic of me but I couldn't control it. The delicious blood that I should have hated, was quickly becoming a necessity for me. The only way that I was going to stop drinking his blood right now was if he stopped me himself.

As on cue. "Elena," he said through clenched teeth as I simply moaned in response. I was loving the taste of his blood too much and the pleasure that it evoked in my body. I felt his hands gently touch my hair which I assumed was to stop me from drinking his blood. I finally gave up and lifted my head from his wrist, staring into his enticing eyes.

"Elena, as appealing as that was, you have guest."

"What?" I asked in daze, barely hearing a word that he was saying. I was confounded by the reactions his blood had caused in me.

"You have a guest," he repeated, eyeing me warily.

I replied in a small voice, "sure, I'll see who it is."

"How do you feel?" he asked, holding my head in his hands as he searched my eyes for answers.

"I feel…I feel better, healed. Your blood really worked," I finished with a pleasant smile, my throat no longer searing with the burning feeling it had had earlier. The blood lust was still there, though, trying to push me to indulge in some blood of the human variety.

He sighed, picking himself up from the bed and walking across my room. Just before he left he said, "I'll see you later."

Wait, where was he going? Before I had a chance to ask, he was jumping out of my window and disappearing from sight. Sighing, I got up from my comfortable bed and went to the door, not hesitating even a second to open it. I was faced with my best friend, Bonnie, her face covered with despair.

"Elena, how..." She didn't get to say anymore before she burst into sobs. I went with my instinct and hugged her, silently comforting her in my embrace.

"What's wrong, Bonnie?"

"You're…you are dying. Why didn't you tell me what was happening?" She sounded so heartbroken, I wished I could help make her pain go away but, alas, I couldn't. That's why I hadn't wanted to tell her, I knew that Bonnie had already gone through a lot of loss and I knew how much it would hurt her to have to deal with the loss of me; her best friend. "I could do a spell, I can find a spell to save you." I stopped in my tracks and slowly pulled away from Bonnie.

"Bonnie, it's my time. I have accepted that I am going to die." Not exactly true, but I didn't want to give her hope just to take it back later. "And, you have done so much already to save me, even died yourself. I couldn't ask you to do a spell that could harm you in the process. I just couldn't."

"That's why you don't need to ask, I want to do it." There was a brief pause before she continued. "Elena, you are my best friend, you are like my sister. We are sisters and I don't know what I'll do if you're not around anymore." Another tear slipped down her cheek and I felt the familiar stinging of tears in my own eyes.

A thought occurred to me, "Bonnie, how did you find out about what happened?" I didn't tell her, so who did?

"Stefan told me. He told me that Klaus killed you but before that, someone gave you blood so that you would wake up. You are not really dead yet, Elena. If you feed, then you'll live. Stefan tried coming here but he couldn't, because he was compelled, I think." Oh yeah, that. I had to get Elijah to remove Stefan's compulsion. "Who gave you the blood?" Bonnie asked suddenly.

"I'll tell you, but try not to be too upset." I was angry with Damon right now but I didn't want everyone to hate him. After all, he was trying to save me and Bonnie already had enough problems with Damon as it was.

I spoke slowly and carefully, "Damon."

Her eyes flickered with anger in a heartbeat. "That heartless, homicidal…"

"Woah, Bonnie, it's okay. Don't be upset with him. I don't like what he did either, but just don't be mad at him. Nothing can change what has already happened. You taking your frustrations out on him won't lead to anything good."

"Elena, he doesn't deserve to get away with everything that he does."

"I know but he knows what he did was wrong. He had a feeling I would die and he couldn't deal with it so he tried to give my life an insurance policy. I love you ,Bonnie. I know it's hard for you and if the roles were reversed I would feel the exact same as you do but we're better than this. We'll get through this," I concluded, with a slight smile, embracing Bonnie in a hug again.

Two long hours later, I found myself sitting at the Mystic Falls' graveyard. I talked with my parents for a brief few moments;telling them that I would see them again soon. And then, I took out my diary and did what I was most comfortable with; the first dream I had of being a writer. I wrote down my life.

Dear Diary,

This year had been full of up and downs, lefts and rights, and everything felt like it was flipped sideways. I just never knew what direction my life was ever going to turn. Just when I thought I finally had it all figured out; it turned in another direction. My Aunt Jenna died and I blamed myself for that, that was why I never wanted Jenna to know about this supernatural world because finding out only seemed to make things worse. She always took care of me and Jeremy so not having her here now, it felt odd somehow. It felt like I had more responsibility - especially for Jeremy. That was why my death was even more difficult to go through with. Because, who would look out for Jeremy? That ring wouldn't save him forever. I was so proud that he had Bonnie but, right now, Jeremy was the only family that I had left and vice vera. Why did Damon have to do this, why did he have to force me to drink his blood? Elijah's plan would have worked, I just knew that it would have or probably, it was just wishful thinking. But I believed that it would have worked, people would probably have assumed that I was just some stupid teenager . That's why everyone always tried to make decisions for me. I guessed, when Elijah finally came around and wanted to ask for my opinion on things, worked with me more as in ally rather than a person he was above, it made me so happy. Finally, there was someone who cared about my insight on things, finally someone understood my need to protect everyone else. Finally someone who got me.

I kept trying to be positive through all of it and even as it continued to be hard, I would smile, I would be happy. I would enjoy the last moments I had on this world. I would not think about the worst of what was likely to happen, I would think about the good. I would try to get Jeremy to understand my decision in the end. I didn't know how I'd manage to go through with it after talking with him, though. I didn't want to hurt anyone but, in the long run, I knew that ending it now was better then becoming a monster; a vampire.