This is the penultimate chapter! Nooooo!
I hope you've all had good summers. I've been busy getting ready to go to a different university in September, I went away for the weekend to Devon, and took part in the hype surrounding The Dark Knight Rises. It was amazing and the perfect end to the Nolan Dark Knight Trilogy.
I highly doubt that this fic will have an amazing and perfect end.
AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111 (I just... this is the 42nd(?) 43Rd(?) chapter and you would've thought I could decipher her illiterate babbling by now but nooooo)
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I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there! He sat der in deddly bloom (Deadly bloom? Orlando's evil brother? A dangerous flower? Seriously, what is "deadly bloom"?) in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111 (What a shame) I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape (WHOA, WHAT? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? I SHOULD KNOW AFTER WRITING COMMENTARIES FOR 40-ODD CHAPTERS BUT I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS!)but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.
"Draco are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. (AAAAAAAAAAHAHA!) I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. (It's a pretty upbeat song though... lets not get into the inner workings of an emo's mind) I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it. (A POT CIGARETTE?! JESUS CHRIST)
"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully. (I'm listening intently because I want to find out too because I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT FOR THE LIFE OF ME!)
"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room! (SUSPENSE!) They didn't see us. (Well, that was a letdown)
"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.
"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. Norris argreed. (Yes, the job being the school caretaker would be so much better if there weren't any students in the school... to be fair though I expect FILCH feels that way)
"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.
"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him (That spell is 'Incarcerous' not a load of mumbo-jumbo, jeez Tara, read a Potter book!). Mr. Norris ran away.
"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice (Ooh, emotive language, A+ for you!). "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"
"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really. (Thanks for reminding me!)
"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then. (This could be a question in an exam: Describe the appearance of three men. Include stereotypical clothing descriptions and relate them to "emo" musicians circa 2006)
I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. (Eh?) And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off (This would be a great place to put "geddit because he's a vampire" or some equally gothic shit) and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. (WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! A THREESOME? IN THE GREAT HALL? IN FRONT OF LUPIN?!) I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out (HA! Get it? Because they both shoot... stuff?) except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry.(Huh? He put it in Enoby for two secs then he put it in Harry?) I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore (If only he knew that he was fucking the guy that killed his parents, but the guy that killed his parents had travelled forwards from the past and was still young...). Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. (So much for the group sex, then) Suddenly…..
….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11 (I forget, am I supposed to be shocked by this or...?)