Chapter V: Fading

I went to the kitchen and ate as fast as I could, it felt like I haven't eating in months. I was starved, but the food was helping with the blood lust. Probably it had something to do with the fact that I'm in transition , not fully vampire or human. If I knew that all I had to do was eat to get rid of the hunger, I would've done that before I drank some blood from Elijah. Now, that was something I would not care to mention to any of the Salvatore brothers or anyone, in fact, in the near future. I was actually turned on during the experience, so I could only assume that was not a good sign. I shouldn't have felt that way for Elijah at all, let alone when I was drinking his blood.

The coughing hadn't happened in two long hours and although that was now a record, I could tell that I was still going to die… Knowing me, it would happen when I least expected it.

As I turned, I was surprised by who was in front of me. "Stefan…" my voice broke a little as I mentioned his name. It seemed like forever since I had seen his face. I felt guilty for simply accepting that Elijah had compelled him rather than berating him for it.

Stefan's green eyes pierced into mine. "Elena, I tried to come to you but…"

"Shhh… I know."

I went to kiss him, nothing too long but just a tender and sweet peck to his lips. I poured all of the longing I had felt into that simple touch of our lips and, as I pulled back, I hugged him. It was a hug between two lovers who wanted nothing more than to comfort each other. Sometimes it was better when words weren't said. I could tell that he knew of my decision and I just hoped that he wouldn't try to change my choice. That was always the one thing I could depend on with Stefan.

"Elena, I know I told you I would step aside and let you do what was best for you but I can't just let you basically commit suicide. I will find a cure for you. Whatever it takes." he said, directly to the point. He didn't hold anything back and I understood why.

"Stefan, it's okay. You can't save everyone. It's my time…" I trailed off, looking at him pleadingly.

"No, it's not!" he exclaimed. "Your life hasn't even begun yet. You shouldn't talk about your life like it's already over because it's not. I will find a cure, Elena. I don't know how but I'll find it," he vowed.

I sighed, "Stefan, please. You said that you'd let me make my own decision, you said…"

"I know what I said," he interrupted. "But you weren't actually dying at that time. Elena, I love you so much and I will find a cure to save you. I will, Elena, I promise. I just can't …" I saw the helpless look in his eyes, though it was difficult to see.

"It's okay, you can't save everyone Stefan," I smiled sadly, the tears stinging at my eyes. "I know how much you love me and you know how much I love you and, if it was my choice, I wouldn't end it all now. There's been so much pain in my life already but you have made me happy. You always tried to keep me safe but now it's finally my time and I need you to accept that. There's no way… Well, there is a way but not one that I'm willing to go through. I don't want to be a vampire, Stefan. I'm so sorry."

For some reason, I felt the need to apologize to him because I loved him so much but I didn't know if I wanted to be with him forever. Right now, I knew that he was it for me but five, maybe ten years down the line? I didn't know if my feelings would change. I didn't want to complete the transition. The thought of drinking human blood sent shudders of disgust down my spine.

Here we go again, the aching pain was attacking my body and weakening me.

Stefan noticed because before I hit the floor, I was scooped up in his arms and on my bed.

Blackness.

Fading.

Silence.

I opened my eyes briefly, confusion clouding my mind. What happened? I tried to speak but I couldn't, my voice wouldn't come out… the sharp pain in my throat was stealing my words.

"You don't need to speak."

I knew that voice. I kept flickering my eyes open and closed, just to make sure that I had matched the voice with the correct person. Everything was blurry but before I tried to speak again, I felt his hands on mine. It felt comforting and made my body feel almost… at peace.

"I can still save you," he murmured quietly, his voice gentle with emotion. "You aren't dead yet."

"Whe-re am I?"I stammered, barely getting the words out. They came out as broken and practically indistinguishable but his vampire hearing managed to understand them…or, at least I thought so.

"The place you wanted to be." Oh, I sighed inwardly. I was home, the place where I wanted to breathe my last breath. There was no other place I would rather be than here.

Fading.

Darkness.

Blood.

Moan.

Sound… sounds coming from the room. Oh….not good. The blood was bringing me back from the dark abyss. The blood tasted so good… I felt like it should be a sin for something to taste that amazing. I couldn't believe that blood could taste so …delicious, and I wasn't even a vampire yet. Luckily for the world, I never would be.

Elijah.

I opened my eyes and backed away in a heartbeat, hitting my head on the bed frame in the process. Elijah remained still as I looked at him with accusing eyes. "What were you doing?" Finally my senses caught up with me and I took in the familiar setting of my bedroom.

"Bringing you back from the darkness before you went so far off the deep end that you wouldn't have been able to make your way back."

"Why?" Before he could answer my question I held up my hand in a pausing gesture. "No cryptic response, just the honest truth."

"I wasn't sure if you were ready to-" His reaction was completely gratifying as he ran his hands through his brunette hair nervously. "I didn't know if you were ready to be out of this world - for good yet."

I pressed my lips together as I put my hand on my head; I was starting to feel dizzy again. I guessed it didn't normally take this long for someone to decide whether to feed on someone and continue their existence or not.

"Where did Stefan go?" I murmured softly.

His eyes temporarily widened but then they were back to normal quicker then ever.

"I saw that, where is he?" I continued as he avoided my eyes, "no codec response, the truth."

"Finding a way to save your life."