So I had some time this morning. I have unpleasant things to deal with and the anticipation of seeing what you think of this will give me something to do. I warn you though: Angst ahead!
If Zuko closes his eyes, he can still see her so clearly in his mind. Standing proud and defiant as she fights a battle they all know she will lose. Azula never had a chance. Not even with Sozin's comet blazing overhead setting the sky alight with its red fire could she have changed the outcome.
Victory was in their grasp only to be yanked away like some cruel joke.
Azula made her stand giving them enough time to slip away.
Katara's desperate voice still rings in his ears as she begs, pleads, and finally orders him to follow her and the others to safety.
Nowhere in the world is really safe anymore.
Casting sad eyes over their small group, he sees the effect this has had on all of them.
They lost.
Portions of the Earth Kingdom have been razed to the ground. The fires that raged in Calderra could be seen for miles as they flew away on the Appa. The heat had seared their skin. Zuko remembers the fires were blue.
The same blue that burned at Azula's fingertips blazes in Katara's eyes when she gives him that look. The look that says her heart is breaking on the inside but she keeps a strong front for the others.
The plan had been to confront the Fire Lord on the day of Sozin's comet and stop him once and for all.
Zuko doesn't know what happened to Ozai. He doesn't know what happened to Azula.
Her last biting words to him had been to leave and she didn't put it in very nice terms either. Before he could argue they were under attack by an onslaught of the likes he has never seen before and hopes never to again.
Iroh sighs as he sits next to the brooding prince. "Azula is alive." Even as he says it though, Iroh has doubts; his niece has survived a great many situations that seemed hopeless. However, this is perhaps the worst of them all.
Zuko nods but doesn't meet his uncle's eyes. Azula has to be alive but even if she is and has been taken prisoner then the fate that awaits her may be worse than death. He shudders at thoughts too twisted to voice.
"We must keep moving." Iroh says grimly.
The others are so exhausted. Sokka and Suki have managed to find rest leaning against one another. Sokka's arm is in a sling. Toph is seated quite some distance away with her back to them. The slight vibrations in the ground are the only sign of the Earth Bender's feelings. Katara keeps active packing and checking supplies. She refuses to meet his eyes though but he can't keep his eyes from following her around as she strives to stay busy.
"Where will we go?" Zuko asks in a hollow voice.
"The Northern Water Tribe. They withstood an attack before. Perhaps they can again."
Zuko doesn't remind Iroh that the only reason the Northern Water Tribe withstood the last assault was because of the Avatar's intervention.
"If not there, then Ba Sing Se." Iroh continues speaking. "We must regroup and come up with a plan."
Zuko nods, shoulders slumping in defeat.
It's at night that Katara leans into him crying. Zuko does his best to comfort her, dutifully holding her as she weeps for what was lost, for what was taken from them. He's lost more than any of them but he can't bring himself to feel the grief anymore. He pushes it aside until it becomes a cold mass of nothing inside of him.
Zuko thinks this must be what Azula would have done. It is a page right from his sister's own book on coping with emotional devastation; just shut it out and focus on what must be done. It gives him a cold sense of satisfaction that settles deep in his chest.
Iroh gives him measuring looks as he flows through his morning katas. Uncle encourages him to not give up hope, to believe that Azula is still alive and still fighting.
How much fight could she really have left?
Zuko closes him out and puts all his focus on what he is doing. He works hard to keep his emotions under control, to stay in the moment. In a way it was what Aang would have done; would have wanted him to do.
He pushes thoughts of his friend from his mind. Too much has been lost. He can't afford to dwell in the past.
They run. They are always on the run. Appa flies fast and hard trying to evade the Fire Nation patrols. They hide in caves, forests, and swamps. Omashu provided some measure of protection under King Bumi but the Fire Nation quickly closed in and brought the great city and its king to the ground.
"We should split up." Sokka offers one night over a meager meal of berries and fish. He says it quietly and is as solemn and serious as Zuko has ever seen the Water Tribe man be.
The others just stare at him in shock. This is all they have now.
"How would that help anything?" Katara asks, her voice just slightly shaky. This has been wearing on her most of all. Being the unofficial mother of the group has made it difficult for her to accept that essentially two of her 'children' are lost.
Sokka's blue eyes soften. "If we split up then maybe some of us will make it."
It's reality smacking them in the face.
Katara takes exactly one second to go from shaky to furious. "No, we have to stay together. Aang would have wanted it that way."
When they speak of their friend, they always speak of him in the past tense. It's just easier that way.
"He's right, Katara." Zuko says gently.
She turns to him with blue eyes shiny with unshed tears. "No, we stay together." There is desperation in her voice. They only have each other. She won't lose anyone else.
Sokka relents and drops it but he and Zuko share a look over the fire. One way or another they can't keep this up.
That night after Katara has cried herself to sleep in his arms, Zuko slips out of the tent. The camp is quiet save for the nighttime songs of crickets and frogs. On a rock he finds Toph shaping and reshaping the metal bracelet in her hand. The Earth Bender doesn't acknowledge him so he sits beside her and waits.
"I didn't have anything against your sister." She says matter-of-factly. "I actually kinda admired Princess."
Zuko doesn't reply. He knows that Toph can read his surprise easily enough.
"She was really something." Toph's voice trails off.
Toph always speaks of Azula as if she is already dead.
"I wasn't surprised about her and Twinkletoes." Toph starts again with a smile. "I saw that coming a mile away."
Zuko laughs. If he is honest with himself, he did too and was surprised to find that he was okay with it. Of course, for appearances he acted like he wasn't.
"She wouldn't have let you hurt him you know but I think she appreciated that you cared that much to threaten the Avatar of all people."
Azula had that twinkle in her eye that showed her amusement when Zuko laid into Aang about exactly what was going on when they took their 'walks' away from the group, especially after Zuko followed them one day. Finding his sister half dressed in an earth tent with the Avatar had not helped Zuko's anger issues.
"He did a great job healing her scars though." Zuko adds with a smile.
"You do realize that wasn't all they were doing, right?" Toph chimes in, mischief glinting in her opaque eyes.
Zuko grimaces. "Toph, I didn't need to hear that. Why would you ruin it for me?"
He knew more had to be going on but he didn't really want to think about it.
Toph snickers. "Don't worry. I did the same thing to Sokka. You guys are just too easy to rile."
Sokka had been less than pleased about the nature of Zuko's relationship with Katara. Aang had intervened just enough to keep Sokka from thumping Zuko on the head with space sword.
"I think Sokka got over it." Zuko says as he looks up at the white stars in the night sky.
"I think he's just happy to know that Katara has someone that will look out for her and keep her safe." Toph amends.
Katara has taken it hard. In a way, Zuko thinks, Katara is feeling all the emotions that he won't let himself feel. He's lost his sister, friend, country, and father. Uncle is the only family he has left that he knows is alive and well and he hadn't known about that until they found Iroh at Omashu playing Pai Sho with King Bumi.
"When it comes down to it, Sparky, you know what we have to do." Toph says in that serious voice she gets.
Zuko doesn't reply. It's not a question of will…it's a question of when.
"We have to stop him." Zuko agrees.
They have spoken about it in hushed tones as if the very words were evil themselves. It has become a necessity; something that has to be done much like in the days before Sozin's comet when they were speaking about Ozai. They all knew that it was up to Aang to finish Ozai no matter how much the Air Bender resisted the idea of killing.
There is no clear choice in this so the real question is who will be the one to deliver the final blow?
Who will be the one to kill the Avatar?
Toph clenches her fist around the metal in her hand. "If you don't take Aang down, Sparky, then I will."
Zuko closes his eyes and prays to Agni that it doesn't come to that.
AN: For those of you that were holding out hope that the bad guy was someone else…I am sorry to burst that bubble of happiness. However, I assure you that this is a very logical character development and I hope that you will allow me to complete the story before you send me reviews or messages asking if I have lost every marble I ever had. If you do decide to flame me, then do make sure you are able to receive PM's and give me a chance to explain.