Sorry about the inactivity-my laptop literally bit the dust, and I was temporarily out of a computer. Luckily, my aunt had an old Gateway she said I could have, and it works impeccably. Good thing I had most of my Word files saved on a flash drive! But enough small talk...ON WITH THE FIGHT!
*NOTE: I don't own Deadliest Warrior, Marvel, or DC. If only I did… This story is a complete, utter, and absolute work of fiction, and none of the characters are real, except for the three Deadliest Warrior hosts. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for future matches, give me a shout. I will take every suggestion I receive into consideration.
All statements by the Narrator (AKA the awesome David Wenham) are in ITALICS.
Deadliest Hero: Black Cat vs. Catwoman
As the show begins, we see a lovely young woman with nearly-white platinum-blonde hair wearing a very revealing black body suit trimmed with white fur. She blows a kiss at the camera.
Black Cat: super-agile cat burglar and ally of Spider-Man.
We see Black Cat scaling a wall on the side of a tall building and climbing into an open window.
We now see another slightly older woman in an all-black latex body suit and a mask complete with cat's ears. She wields a large whip as she glares at the camera.
Catwoman: stealthily silent anti-heroine of Gotham City.
We see Catwoman hanging from a ceiling tether, hungrily looking over a large museum-displayed jewel.
WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?
We now see a montage of various weapons being tested.
To find out, our world-class fighters are testing the heroes' most lethal weapons. Using 21st-century science, we'll see what would happen if the two heroes went toe-to-toe—no rules, no safety, no mercy. Superhero vs. Superhero. Marvel vs. DC. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is…
THE DEADLIEST HERO!
As the title sequence ends, we see several shots of the fight club, with several people walking to and fro and testing numerous weapons.
Welcome to the fight club, a futuristically advanced battle zone between dimensions, where comic book worlds collide. Here, we've gathered scientists, doctors, superheroes, and a weapons arsenal like no other. It's all to create a true-to-life battle between two of the most legendary femme fatales in comic history: Black Cat, the seductive siren and former love interest of Spider-Man, versus Catwoman, the viciously remorseless cat burglar of Gotham City who has been both an adversary and a partner-in-crime of the Dark Knight himself.
Black Cat Stats
Real name: Felicia Hardy
Ht: 5'10"
Wt: 120 lbs
Gear: 3 lbs
Superpowers: Enhanced strength, speed and agility
Catwoman Stats
Real name: Selina Kyle
Ht: 5'7"
Wt: 128 lbs
Gear: 4 lbs
Superpowers: None
Lead scientist Geoff Desmoulin will track the results of the weapons testing.
"Today, for the first time, we've got female warriors battling one another," says Desmoulin. "But don't be thinking this'll be a genteel little spat—this one is gonna be an all-out catfight, no pun intended."
E.R. physician Armand Dorian will examine the damage done by each weapon.
"I'm not looking for little cuts and scrapes," the doctor states. "I'm looking for how deep a weapon goes, will it hit any vital structures, and is it going to cause death."
Computer wiz Max Geiger will input the data into a simulation program that will determine the winner between the two heroines.*
"While these two heroines are extremely similar, they've never met in one-on-one combat," Geiger tells the viewers. "But today, we're going to do something about that, as they'll meet for the first time inside this computer."
We see a pretty auburn-haired woman wearing an all-white outfit and a katana at her side. She's wielding a pistol, and points the gun at the camera.
Testing weapons for Black Cat will be Colleen Wing: a former colleague of Black Cat and one of her best friends.
"Black Cat is ruthless," says Colleen. "She won't take no for an answer. She will fight and claw her way out of any predicament that she's in, and she will come out on top no matter the circumstances."
We now see an African-American woman with a frizzy afro, wearing large gold hoop earrings and a red uniform. She's holding a pair of small grappling hooks in her hands.
Also testing Black Cat's weapons: Misty Knight. Misty worked with Black Cat in the group known as Heroes for Hire for several years, and knows Black Cat's fighting styles firsthand.
"Felicia is the best in the world at what she does, which is causin' havoc," Misty states. "Ain't nobody can hold a candle to my girl 'Leesh."
The son of one of the most famous cat burglars ever, Felicia Hardy had a sheltered childhood. When she was a freshman in college, however, she was raped by her boyfriend, prompting her to learn martial arts and weapons handling to protect herself from another such altercation. When her boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver, Felicia began to devote her life to thievery, adopting the name "Black Cat" and aligning herself with master inventor, The Tinkerer. She has since turned her life around, and has been both a partner and a love interest of the web-slinging hero, Spider-Man.
"'Leesh ain't just somebody who put on a cat suit and decided to go steal some valuables," Misty explains. "She's a professional."
But our Catwoman experts won't give in easily.
We see a young red-haired girl in a bat-themed costume and mask wielding a small pistol.
Wielding the weapons for Catwoman: Batgirl. This comrade of the Dark Knight has fought beside and opposite Catwoman, and knows the ways of the feline femme fatale firsthand.
"Catwoman is a vicious individual," Batgirl tells us. "We're talking about a woman who will stop at nothing to get what she wants, and nine times out of ten, what she wants is valuables."
We now see a red-haired woman with slightly greenish skin, wearing an outfit reminiscent of plant leaves. She's holding a pair of whips, one of them with multiple ends on it.
Rounding out Catwoman's team: Poison Ivy. In Catwoman's criminal days, she crossed paths with Ivy on several occasions, so Ivy knows Catwoman's fighting styles.
"Catwoman is one of the most violent individuals in Gotham," Ivy boasts. "No one can wield a whip or a pistol like that bad cat. I only wish she hadn't gone soft…"
While some of the details of Selina Kyle's early life are quite convoluted, we do know that she had a very troubled relationship with a former boyfriend. After so long, she broke out on her own, and turned to burglary to support herself. After meeting up with Batman, she decided to don a costume reminiscent of his, only this one was inspired by a different animal—the stealthy cat. Since then, she's been an active part of Batman's life, both as a villain and an object of affection.
"Catwoman would wipe the floor with Black Cat," Batgirl predicts. "She's smarter, faster, and a lot more ruthless."
So how would these two eerily similar ladies, who have never met up in battle before, fare against one another?
"Up front, I have to give the edge to Catwoman," says Desmoulin. "She's got far superior short-range weapons, and she's a lot nastier than Black Cat."
"If I've learned anything on this show, it's that you can't underestimate people," Dr. Dorian admits. "Black Cat's suit grants her incredible powers, while Catwoman's suit does absolutely nothing but look damn sexy. I think Black Cat might actually win this one."
Both ladies are equally proficient in close combat, but they both also wield wicked surprises.
We see Black Cat throwing a projectile behind a wall, and ducking down and shutting her eyes as a bright flash of light fills the area.
Like the Flash Grenade: a blinding flash of light that can be held in the palm of the hand.
Misty, Colleen and the Deadliest Warrior team are outside on the firing range. Misty is holding the flash grenade in her hand as Colleen explains how it works.
"This is a standard FP-220 flash grenade," says Colleen. "How it works is there's a bunch of diodes embedded in the grenade, and when it goes off, all the cells in the eye are activated at once, and anyone around is temporarily blinded."
"How long are they blind?" Geiger asks.
"'Bout five or ten seconds," Misty replies. "Nothin' serious, just enough for someone to get in, whoop up on somethin', and get out."
"Well, we obviously can't test blindness on a dummy, so it's time to bring in the living targets for this one," Geoff says, smiling.
We now see the poor ninja we've come to know and love being directed into a small room. Everyone besides him puts on sunglasses.
The target will be a trained ninja, who will act as the guinea pig for this test.
"Misty, are you ready?" Geoff shouts.
"Ready!" Misty replies as she lifts the grenade with one hand and adjusts her sunglasses with the other.
"Three, two, one—LOB IT!"
Misty throws the flash grenade inside the four-sided chamber with the ninja. The ninja covers his ears, and a blinding flash of light fills the area. When the light ebbs away, the ninja is seen flailing around, his eyes apparently not working properly.
"Whoa-ho-ho!" Desmoulin says.
"Blinded by the light!" Geiger says, watching the ninja walk around blinded.
The flash grenade causes disorientation, but not death.
Everyone now takes off their sunglasses and heads inside the collapsible chamber to check on the ninja.
"I certainly buy this as a game-changer, but it doesn't look like it's enough to cause death," says Geiger.
"Nope, looks like our man Yoshi's relatively clean…" says Geoff as he examines the ninja. The ninja then stands up and gives everyone a thumbs-up signal.
But our Catwoman team is unimpressed.
"Yes, the flash grenade is effective," Batgirl admits. "But it just obscures vision—we have a tool that can not only obscure vision, but can kill."
Catwoman also carries an explosive that can disorient and confuse.
We see Catwoman throwing a small, round bomb around a corner. A few seconds later, a huge cloud of smoke erupts. Catwoman puts on a gas mask and rounds the corner, ready to go in for the kill.
The Smoke Bomb: a tiny smokescreen you can hold in the palm of your hand.
Batgirl, Poison Ivy and the Deadliest Warrior guys are back on the firing range as Batgirl starts explaining the smoke bomb's benefits:
"This is the smoke bomb. There's incendiary powder inside, and when it hits the air, the smoke comes pouring out and blinds the enemy."
"So how does this stack up to the flash grenade?" Geiger asks.
"The flash grenade only blinds an enemy," Ivy explains. "With this, you're also causing damage to a person's lungs, nose and mouth when they inhale the smoke."
"She brings up a very good point, guys," Dr. Dorian interjects. "The carbon monoxide from the smoke would cause a huge amount of damage to a person's body, and can possibly kill."
"Well, we know the extent of the damage the smoke could do, but let's see just how much spreading power this grenade possesses," says Geoff.
Batgirl is now standing outside a small setup of four plywood "walls", one with a glass window in it.
Batgirl will use the smoke bomb to flush out a team of ninjas hidden inside this small chamber.
"Batgirl, are you ready?" Geoff asks.
"Yes, I'm ready!" says Batgirl as she holds the grenade in her hand.
"Three, two, one—SMOKE 'EM OUT!"
On Geoff's word, Batgirl pulls the pin on the smoke bomb, throws it through the window into the "house", and runs. A few seconds later, a puff of smoke can be seen billowing out of the window. Soon, a ninja somersaults through the window, and two others follow suit.
The smoke bomb flushes out the ninjas, but our Black Cat team isn't buying it.
"Sure, this can blind somebody, but 'Leesh usually has night vision goggles," Misty argues. "So either way, she can see through the smoke."
"She may be able to see through it, but she's not immune to the lung-wrenching power that this weapon possesses," Ivy retorts. "So it's still an effective weapon."
Both weapons prove to be effective distraction tools, but which one will give its user more of an edge in battle?
"In the case of Flash Grenade vs. Smoke Bomb, I have to go with the smoke bomb," says Dr. Dorian to Max and Geoff. "Simple blindness vs. potentially fatal smoke inhalation—that smoke bomb has the power to kill if enough smoke gets in your system."
"I have to disagree," says Geoff. "It takes a while for the smoke bomb to release its contents. With the flash grenade, you've got almost instant gratification."
"I can see both of your points," Max appeases. "I'm gonna let the computer decide."
Max loads the results of the tests into the computer. It's a close call, but the edge goes to Black Cat for the flash grenade. But now, it's time to test the weapons that can actually kill. And for Black Cat, nothing kills better than true long-distance firepower.
Black Cat is seen firing bullets from a large black pistol, striking several people as she makes her getaway with a cache of jewels.
The Beretta Pistol: twelve rounds of pure firepower.
"The Beretta 92 pistol," says Colleen as she shows the weapon to the three hosts. "This is standard use by the U.S. military—you've got twelve shots, and the gun can accurately hit a moving target from several yards away."
"How is this relevant to Black Cat's arsenal?" Geiger asks.
"'Leesh loves hand-to-hand combat as much as the next person," explains Misty, "but sometimes, she's gotta have somethin' that can kill from a distance."
Colleen is now seen in front of a plywood wall, where five foam torsos filled with blood have been placed.
To test the killing power of the Beretta, our team has set up five targets. Colleen will have five seconds to take them all out.
"Colleen, are you ready?" asks Geoff.
"Yeah!" Colleen replies.
"Three, two, one—FIRE!"
When Geoff gives the signal, Colleen begins unleashing hell with the Beretta. She quickly delivers a shot to all five targets, and still has time to shoot three more shots before time runs out.
"TIME!" calls Geoff, and Colleen puts down the pistol. "Let's see how you did…"
The Beretta is certainly quick, but how much damage did it do?
Dr. Dorian and the rest of the team step in to assess the damage done by the Beretta, looking over the foam torsos, most of which have a bloody hole in them.
"Okay, let's start with this guy," says Dr. Dorian as he starts to examine the mannequins. "You've shot him in the chest, perfectly placed under the subclavian artery—this is a kill. This next guy, you've shot him in the neck, in the jugular, he's down and dead in about five seconds. Guy number three and four, these are two shots to the chest; these would both hit lungs and possibly nick the heart, causing death. And this guy—shot to the gut, plus one to the face. These two in combination would kill."
"So five out of five instant kills," Desmoulin summarizes. "Very impressive, Colleen."
"Thank you very much," says Colleen.
But despite the Beretta's quickness and accuracy, Team Catwoman isn't buying it.
"While I'll admit the Beretta's accuracy is quite impressive, it's a large pistol," Ivy observes. "Catwoman is sure to see the Beretta before Black Cat can even shoot it, and will jump out of the way before she takes any damage."
And Catwoman has her own firearm that her team believes is more powerful than the Beretta.
We see Catwoman firing a small pistol at a police officer before making her escape with a bag of loot.
The Glock 19 Pistol: an Austrian-made firearm capable of dealing massive damage.
"This is the Glock 19," Batgirl says as she explains the workings of the pistol to the DW guys. "It holds ten rounds, there's very little recoil on it, and as you can see, it's very small, light, and easy to carry."
"This is a pretty small pistol, though…" Desmoulin says.
"That's the beauty of it," replies Ivy. "It's very concealable."
But is the Glock as efficient a killer as the Beretta? Our team sets up a series of targets to test it. Just like Colleen, Batgirl will have five seconds to take the targets out.
The same shooting distance test is set up for the Glock, and Batgirl now stands several yards in front of the targets.
"Batgirl, are you ready?" asks Geoff.
"Yeah!" Batgirl replies.
"Three, two, one—FIRE!"
On Geoff's word, Batgirl draws the Glock and fires at one target, hitting it in the head. She aims at the second target and shoots it in the neck. She continues shooting targets until Geoff signals for her to stop.
"And…TIME! Nice job!" Geoff calls as Batgirl puts down the pistol.
Does the Glock pack as much killing power as the Beretta? Dr. Dorian assesses the damage.
"Okay, let's take a look at these," says Dr. Dorian as he investigates the bloody targets. "Not as fast as the Beretta, but you've shot this guy in the head, right between the eyes. This is instant death. Next guy, you shot in the neck—another kill shot. Guy #3 has been shot right through the heart—no explanation needed there. Guy #4—you got him in the gut, which would bleed a lot, and he would die, but it's not instant. And Guy #5, you shot in the jaw—this would shut the guy up, cause massive pain and bleeding, but it's not a kill shot. This guy can still fight back."
"So, in summary," Geoff interjects, "out of five guys, four are dead, and one is seriously hurting. Not too shabby."
But Team Black Cat doesn't seem intimidated.
"Four outta five kills?" Misty asks. "That's called 'sloppy'. Every shot Colleen took made mincemeat outta these crackahs."
"Ah, but our shots are more powerful," Ivy replies.
"Doesn't matter," Misty argues. "'Leesh can still fight back if she takes a shot like Mr. No-Mouth over here."
Beretta or Glock—which pistol gets the edge?
"We had four instant kills and a mortal wound with the Glock," Geoff recalls, "Versus five instant kills with the Beretta. I have to go with which one caused the most death, so edge for me, Beretta."
"Agreed," says Geiger. "Edge, Beretta."
In long-range weapons, Black Cat takes the edge for the Beretta pistol. But now, it's time for the fight to move in closer, as both ladies wield impressively powerful medium-range weapons.
We see Black Cat shooting a person with a small hook-on-a-chain that extends from her glove.
Like Black Cat's Grappling Hooks: built-in tools for scaling walls—or killing people.
Everybody's now inside the fight club, and Colleen is wearing Black Cat's fur-lined gloves as she begins to explain how the grappling hooks work:
"Felicia went to the Tinkerer to design a portable system for her to climb buildings with. This is what he came up with…"
Colleen flips her wrists around and shoots a grappling hook onto a target positioned about three feet away.
"Nice," says Geoff, looking the portable grappling hooks over.
"Well, these look like great tools for climbing," Max admits, "but the question is, can they kill?"
"Try me," Colleen dares.
Armed with the mini-grappling hooks, Colleen now stands in front of a hanging pig carcass.
The target: a pig carcass, the closest thing to human flesh.
"Are you ready?" Geoff shouts.
"Yes, sir!" Colleen replies.
"Three, two, one—DESTROY IT!"
On Geoff's word, Colleen shoots both grappling hooks at the pig. As Geoff and Max cheer, she yanks one out, and then throws it back in the pig, ripping the flesh of the pig and causing massive bleeding. She continues doing this, but has to pull hard to get the hooks out of the pig's flesh. After a few seconds, she stops, and the pig has numerous gaping holes in its body, along with a massive puddle of blood under it.
The damage done by the grappling hooks is devastating.
Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage done to the pig. "I didn't think those little hooks would do this much damage, but look—you've basically tore this pig's innards out of its body," he says as he puts his hand inside the pig's wound. "You've hit the lungs and the heart, and that basically means instant death."
"The same would happen to Catwoman, my friend…" Colleen boasts.
But our Catwoman team isn't impressed.
"I wasn't impressed with the pig demonstration—I don't eat pork," Ivy tells the viewers. "Besides, those grappling hooks are barely larger than a pair of kitchen shears. If I remember correctly, Catwoman has a weapon that can cause much more trauma."
We see Catwoman smashing someone's head in with a massive whip.
The Bullwhip: a welt-raising leather strap of death.
In another part of the fight club, Poison Ivy is holding a large bullwhip, talking with the Deadliest Warrior team:
"This is Catwoman's pride and joy—the bullwhip. It's powerful, fast, and causes massive damage everywhere it's swung."
"So why does Catwoman use a bullwhip, of all things?" Geoff asks.
"Because it's a user-specific weapon," Ivy explains. "If an enemy were to, say, get their hands on this whip in the midst of battle, they probably wouldn't know how to use it."
Dr. Dorian and Max are now seen carrying in a ballistics gel torso.
But can the bullwhip actually kill? Our team sets up a ballistics gel torso to find out.
"Okay, Ivy, this is ballistics gel," Dr. Dorian explains. "We've got everything, basically, that a human body would have—flesh, bone, organs, blood—basically anything you can do to this, you can do to a human body."
Ivy is now seen standing several feet in front of the torso with the whip in her hand.
"Ivy, are you ready?" Geoff asks.
"Yes, I am," Ivy simply replies.
"Three, two, one—WHIP IT!"
On Geoff's word, Ivy smashes the bullwhip into the gel torso's head, tearing a chunk of flesh off. She then turns her attention to the chest, and after multiple strikes, blood starts pouring out of the chest. She then whips the target's head some more until the head splits open and blood and brain matter fly out.
"YEAH!" Max cheers.
"That's how we do it in Gotham, darling…" Ivy says, smiling sinisterly.
Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage done to the ballistics gel torso.
"Holy crap—for a blunt trauma weapon like that whip, this is amazing damage done," Dorian admits. "You've basically cut through this body with that whip. You've got bleeding from the chest, you've severed some arteries and veins, and plus, you've cut the head almost completely in half with just that whip. No question about it—this guy's a goner."
"Just like I told you, sweetheart…nothing compares to this little beauty," Ivy says.
"That, and there's just something about a woman with a whip…" Geoff says, smirking.
"Easy there, killer," Max says as he puts his hand on Geoff's shoulder.
But which medium-range weapon has an edge over the other?
"The grappling hooks, while handy because they're built into Black Cat's costume, aren't really built to be weapons," Desmoulin tells his two buddies. "The bullwhip, while I don't think it'll kill in one strike, is enough to incapacitate Black Cat enough to cause massive damage with the thing."
"Plus, if Black Cat manages to get her hands on the bullwhip during the battle, it's doubtful she'll know how to use it," adds Geiger. "Edge goes to the bullwhip."
For mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Catwoman's bullwhip. But now, it's time for this match to get up-close-and-personal. And one thing Black Cat and Catwoman have in common are their signature melee weapons.
We see Black Cat slicing and dicing an opposing fighter with her claws.
Black Cat's Cat Claws: solid steel tools for ripping through a person's flesh.
Misty and our Deadliest Warrior men are seen in front of the computer as Misty starts to analyze Black Cat's signature weapon:
"These are 'Leesh's pride and joy. They're made of solid steel, they're real lightweight, and they're versatile—ya' can pierce, ya' can stab, and a-course, ya' can slash."
But Catwoman isn't a slouch when it comes to her claws, either.
We see Catwoman swiping at Batman with her claws, with the Dark Knight barely dodging the attack.
Catwoman's Cat Claws: perfect for slicing and dicing an unarmored adversary.
Batgirl is now standing on the opposite side of the Deadliest Warrior team with Catwoman's claws. Misty is still onscreen, watching her explain the weapons intently:
"These are the reason Catwoman's so famous. These claws are made of tempered steel, they're fast, and they're so sharp, they can cut through solid glass."
"These look like basically the same weapon," says Desmoulin. "From looking at them, I can't really tell them apart, so the only way to see which claws are superior would be to test them. Let's go…"
In another part of the fight club, a pig carcass is seen hanging from the ceiling, as Geoff attaches a small device to Misty's claw-wielding arms.
Both pairs of claws will be tested on pig carcasses to simulate what would happen if claws ever met human flesh. First, Misty steps up to the plate with Black Cat's claws. To analyze the speed of her punches, Geoff attaches an accelerometer to Misty's wrists.
Misty now has Black Cat's claws on her hands as she stands in front of her porcine target.
"Are you ready?" Geoff asks.
"Mm-hmm!" Misty responds, nodding.
"On three, two, one—SLASH IT!"
As soon as Geoff says "slash it", Misty digs into the pig's body with her claws. With deep, devastating strikes, pieces of flesh and blood are ripped away from the pig with every second. To finish, Misty punches the pig in the back, leaving the claws from her left hand embedded in the pig's flesh.
"YEAH!" Geoff cheers.
"Whoo!" Max adds.
The claws annihilate the pig flesh, but how fast were Misty's strikes?
"According to these numbers, Misty, we've got fifteen feet per second with those punches," Geoff says, analyzing the data on the computer screen. "In effect, it's like jumping out a window onto those claws."
"Told 'ya these things could get the job done," Misty says, looking toward Team Catwoman with an 'I told you so' expression on her face.
"You think that was impressive?" Batgirl asks, clearly not impressed. "Watch what we can do with ours…"
A fresh pig is brought in, on which Batgirl will demonstrate Catwoman's claws.
Batgirl is now standing in front of a new, slightly larger pig carcass, wielding her own pair of cat claws. Like Misty, she wears an accelerometer on her wrists.
"Are you ready, Batgirl?" Geoff asks.
"Ready!" Batgirl replies.
"Three, two, one—HACK 'EM UP!"
Geoff doesn't have to tell Batgirl twice—she begins slashing the pig with lightning-quick speed. Geoff and Max hoot and holler as Batgirl takes a little time to slash some deep wounds in the pig's stomach, causing blood to stream out, but her strikes are, for the most part, quicker than Misty's. To finish, she digs the claws on her right hand into the pig's chest and rakes straight down, causing another fountain of blood to pour out of the pig carcass.
"All right!" Geiger cheers as Batgirl rakes the claws down the pig's body.
"Think that'll be enough?" Batgirl asks, holding her arms out.
"He—hell yeah!" Max replies.
Everyone laughs as Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage done to the pig.
"To say these claws are lethal would be an understatement," he says. "Look at this—you've sliced through the flesh, through the muscle, almost to the bone. But out of all the strikes you made to this pig, I think the one that's most likely to kill would be that last one where you stuck the claws in the chest and raked them straight down. That would hit the heart, the coronary arteries, and possibly even the stomach—if you can get it deep enough, someone would die from that kind of wound almost instantly."
Were Batgirl's strikes faster than Misty's?
"According to these readings, you slashed that pig at about thirty-five feet per second," explains Desmoulin. "That's over twice the speed we got with Misty wearing Black Cat's claws."
"Yeah, but I did a lot more damage," Misty retorts.
"Only because your pig was smaller than ours," Batgirl points out. "I'll take speed and precision over strength and brute force any day."
"I did more damage to the pig," Misty argues. "End of story."
In the wake of our two teams' squabbling, our experts have a daunting question to ask themselves: which pair of claws is better?
"From what I saw, both claws are solid steel, both can cause extreme damage, and both are lightning-fast killing weapons," Geoff tells his friends. "Essentially, they're the same exact weapon, so I can't really give the edge to one pair of claws over the other."
"I agree completely," says Max. "They're both equally lethal and equally deadly."
In close-range weapons, the two ladies' claws are dead-even. But this match isn't over yet—our experts still need to test the ladies' special weapons. And for Black Cat, this weapon is her own body.
We now see Black Cat delivering a series of powerful martial arts kicks to a group of the Green Goblin's henchmen.
Martial Arts Training: a combination of lethal arts that Black Cat has mastered over the years.
Colleen, Geoff and Max are standing in front of a gel torso as Colleen starts explaining the martial arts Black Cat knows:
"After she was raped, Felicia schooled herself in pretty much every martial art known to the general public—karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do—you name it. This training not only honed her speed and agility, but it turned her own body into a lethal weapon."
"Well, we know from people like Bruce Lee that martial arts moves can kill," says Max, "but why don't we see what damage we can get from a well-timed attack."
"Let's do it," says Colleen eagerly.
Colleen now stands in front of a ballistics gel torso in a fighting stance as our team looks on from the sidelines.
"Are you ready?" Geoff asks.
"Hai!" Colleen replies as she strikes a fighting pose.
"Three, two, one—GO!"
Colleen unloads with a massive roundhouse kick to the torso's head, causing the neck to snap back. She then starts punching and kicking the torso, not letting up until about ten seconds pass.
"Nice…" Max remarks.
Colleen hit all her shots, but collectively, are they enough to kill?
"It looks like you've broken a few bones in the torso," says Dr. Dorian as he examines the strikes. "Maybe caused a little internal bleeding—that's not gonna kill by itself. However, when you hit the skull with your first kick, you caused what we call a 'depressed skull fracture', meaning that the bone goes into the brain, causing hemorrhage and eventually death. That first shot you made would kill—everything else is just collateral damage."
"And with an expert like Black Cat, these shots would be twice as powerful," Colleen adds.
Despite the damage, our Catwoman team doesn't buy it for a second.
"Please—this is an inanimate object," Poison Ivy says as she and Batgirl enter the picture. "It doesn't move. Catwoman would jump out of the way in a heartbeat. She's got her own ways to counter people who use karate and such."
And Catwoman has another weapon that doesn't require any special training to use.
We see Catwoman smashing Robin in the face with her powerful multi-ended whip.
The Cat-O'-Nine-Tails: nine deadly whips in one.
In front of yet another ballistics gel torso, Poison Ivy wields the deadly-looking whip as she explains its benefits to our Deadliest Warrior dudes:
"If you asked Catwoman, she'd tell you that this was her favorite weapon. It's extremely versatile—these nine ends on the whip are tipped with steel or diamonds, and will cause massive damage wherever the whip is swung."
"Well, this certainly looks like a frightening weapon," Max admits, "but what I'm concerned about is the accuracy of it with all those whips going everywhere. So let's test it and see if this can truly kill, or if it's all 'meow' and no bite, so to speak."
"My pleasure, darling…" Ivy says, smiling wryly.
Ivy steps up to the ballistics gel body as the three guys look on from the side.
"Ivy, are you ready?" Desmoulin asks.
"Yes I am, sweetheart…" Ivy says as she takes a fighting stance.
"Three, two, one—WHIP IT GOOD!"
When Geoff gives the signal, Ivy smashes the cat-o'-nine-tails into the gel torso, severely maiming the face and neck with the first strike as the steel tips of the whip tear flesh and muscle from the torso. One more shot from the cat-o'-nine-tails leaves a deep, bloody gash in the torso's chest, and Ivy steps away from the target as Dr. Dorian steps in to assess the damage.
"WOO!" Geoff shouts.
"Yeah, awesome!" Max yells.
"There's no need to tell you that this is a kill shot," Dr. Dorian admits as he examines the gashes made by the whip. "You've got brain matter coming out where you hit the skull with your first strike, and you hit the aorta with your second strike. This guy is unconscious in a few seconds, and he's dead after about a minute."
"Like I said, there's nothing like a whip to cause some carnage," says Poison Ivy, smiling.
Misty and Colleen step in to assess the damage and the weapon.
"I'm not convinced," says Colleen, shaking her head. "I mean, this weapon looks pretty cumbersome to me…"
"For sho'," says Misty. "Plus, there's no tellin' where those nine whip-thingies are gonna go. With the right martial arts trainin', somebody's own body can become a weapon."
Our teams disagree, but for our experts, it's a no-brainer.
"I liked the martial arts demonstration because it proves that Black Cat can use her own body to kill if she runs out of weapons," Geoff admits to Max and Dr. Dorian. However, the cat-o'-nine-tails really hammered it home—you've got nine steel-tipped whips in one, which will cause massive damage to anyone who gets in its way."
"Even if half those whips don't hit anything, the chances of you hitting something with that whip are pretty high," Geiger observes. "Plus, it's got a longer reach than Black Cat's legs, and it's useless to Black Cat if she happens to get her hands on it. So edge, Catwoman."
"Edge, Catwoman," Desmoulin seconds.
"Edge, Catwoman…" Dr. Dorian says, making the decision unanimous.
In special weapons, Catwoman takes the edge with the cat-o'-nine-tails whip.
We now see a montage of some of the weapons that have been tested on the episode.
With the testing complete, Max loads the results into a state-of-the-art computer simulation program developed by Slitherine Studios. The program will simulate a blow-by-blow battle between the two heroines. The winner will be the Deadliest Hero.
Explosive weapons edge: Black Cat's Flash Grenade
Long-range weapons edge: Black Cat's Beretta Pistol
Mid-range weapons edge: Catwoman's Bullwhip
Close-range weapons edge: Both Black Cat's and Catwoman's Cat Claws
Special weapons edge: Catwoman's Cat-O'-Nine-Tails
To keep the battle from being won by a single lucky blow, Max will run the simulation a thousand times. Despite the ladies' similarities, it's still a battle of opposites: one took to crime to prove she could overcome nearly insurmountable odds…
We see Black Cat kicking Spider-Man in the face on one of their first meetings with one another.
The other commits crimes for the sheer thrill of the chase.
We see Catwoman knocking Batman back with her cat-o'-nine-tails and quickly fleeing with a bag of loot.
"We've got just about all the data we can handle," says Max, seated in front of the laptop screen. "So what do you say we fire it up?" he asks Geoff and Dr. Dorian nearby.
"It's go time, buddy," says Desmoulin.
"Let's lock and load, then," says Max. He presses a button on the computer, and the screen goes all Matrix. A second or two later, the battle scene appears.
The Battle
The setting is that of a large city at night. The sounds of cars honking and whizzing by can be heard below as atop a tall skyscraper, we see Black Cat looking through night-vision goggles into a nearby one-story museum's window, where she sees a large, expensive-looking jewel on display. Black Cat uses a large grappling hook-gun to latch onto the window's ledge and climb out to it. Once on the windowsill, she uses her claws to cut through the window glass and enter the building. Catwoman is already inside the building, eyeing the jewel as well, and the two women come face-to-face for the first time. In the light of the infrared sensors surrounding the jewel, they both eye one another with disdain for a second or two. Both women reach for something near their belts, but it's Catwoman who pulls her Glock pistol first and fires it at Black Cat, but it's dark and she misses. Black Cat dives to the left, into a corner, and shoots at Catwoman with her Beretta pistol, hitting Catwoman in the leg. Catwoman hisses in pain as she fires a volley of bullets from her pistol, hitting her adversary in the hand with one of them. Shrieking in pain, Black Cat retreats behind a large table, grabs a flash grenade from her belt and lobs it, sending it landing near Catwoman's feet. A blinding flash of light fills the area, and when the light fades away, Catwoman covers her eyes, blinded temporarily. As Catwoman flounders around in the dark, Black Cat slowly approaches Catwoman, ready for anything. However, Catwoman has found her smoke bomb in her belt, and she pulls the pin on it and blindly throws it into the room. Smoke pours out of the grenade as Black Cat coughs and covers her face to shield herself from the smoke. Catwoman has now regained her sight, and pulls out her bullwhip. Catwoman rushes toward Black Cat, but Black Cat sees Catwoman coming and gets out of the way just in time. Black Cat shoots Catwoman in the leg with one of her grappling hooks, sending the Gotham femme fatale reeling to the marble floor and causing her to drop her whip. Black Cat approaches the downed Catwoman and tries to punch her, but Catwoman flips over and kicks Black Cat with both feet, sending her reeling backwards. Catwoman fires another shot from her pistol, striking Black Cat in the stomach. As Black Cat screams in pain, Catwoman limps over to the display case and starts trying to disable the security system. Catwoman hears something behind her, and when she looks back, Black Cat catches her in the face with a flying thrust kick. Catwoman reels back, knocking the jewel off the display case and triggering the alarm system. As the alarm blares throughout the museum, Black Cat starts punching Catwoman. After taking several hard hits to the face, Catwoman manages to pull out her cat-o'-nine-tails, and smashes Black Cat in the face with it. Felicia falls backward into a glass display case as Selina approaches her with her whip. Black Cat fires her other grappling hook at Catwoman, but Catwoman knocks it away with the cat-o'-nine-tails and smashes Black Cat in the face again with it. Black Cat's once-beautiful face is now marked with whip marks as Catwoman growls, sheaths her whip, and extends her cat claws. With one last burst of strength, Black Cat rolls out of the way of a stab from Catwoman's claws and slashes Catwoman in the leg with her own claws. Black Cat slashes Catwoman across the stomach, and then rushes toward her, ready to stab her through the heart. Catwoman dodges the claws and slashes Black Cat in the chest. As Black Cat screams in pain, she falls to her knees, and Catwoman seizes the opportunity and sinks her claws into Black Cat's neck. Blood pours from Black Cat's mouth before she collapses to the floor. An evil smile on her face, Catwoman stabs Black Cat with the claws several more times to make sure she's dead, then rises to her feet and licks the blood from her claws. Over the museum's blaring alarm system, Catwoman suddenly hears police sirens pulling up outside. She quickly grabs the jewel that fell from the display case, climbs out the window, and exits the building. The camera zooms in on Black Cat's dead body, a look of terror permanently affixed on her whip-scarred face.
Winner: Catwoman
"Out of a thousand battles, Catwoman emerged victorious 61.5% of the time," Geiger explains. "What really hammered this fight home was Catwoman's lethality with all her weapons. Catwoman's powerful whips were able to overpower Black Cat's grappling hooks and score her a decisive victory."
With the exception of the smoke bomb, all of Catwoman's weapons scored kills in the triple digits.
Catwoman kills: 615
Cat Claws: 103
Bullwhip: 186
Glock Pistol: 101
Cat-O'-Nine-Tails: 225
Smoke Bomb: 0
Black Cat only claimed 385 kills. Her best weapon was her Beretta pistol, but it wasn't enough.
Black Cat kills: 385
Cat Claws: 89
Grappling Hooks: 25
Beretta Pistol: 163
Martial Arts Techniques: 108
Flash Grenade: 0
"Catwoman is savage," Desmoulin remarks. "She's lethal with those whips, and will literally tear a person's face off with those claws."
"Catwoman got lucky," says Misty. "On any given day, 'Leesh woulda just smashed her upside the head with a judo kick or somethin'."
"There was never a doubt in my mind," Batgirl admits. "We're talking about one of the deadliest forces in all of Gotham. No shock to me at all."
We see Catwoman crouching on the top of the building, her back turned to us, as the camera zooms in on her. She looks back at the camera and winks as the show comes to a close.
Chapter 4 is done, and Marvel and DC are now neck-and-neck, with two wins apiece. In the next episode, get ready for Deadliest Hero's first team battle, as the legendary Green Lantern Corps take on Alpha Flight. See you next time!