Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian.
I want to say thank you for all of you wishing me to feel better soon. I guess some of you have been through this as well. I hope it gets better soon. But I did find out today that I am one of nineteen women that are expecting in my building. Six of those (including me) are in my department. That's a lot of hormones, wouldn't you say?
On another note: BROKE 100 REVIEWS! Whoop! I love you guys.
"So she just turned up at your office?" He sounded stunned and I laughed, sitting back in my chair.
"Yup," I grinned, popping the 'p'.
"Girls' got balls." He laughed and I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me.
"It's Rosalie, should we really expect anything different?" I asked and he chuckled.
Jasper had called me not long after Rosalie had stormed out of my office. I had thought that he was warning me about the outraged blonde that would be storming into my office but he was just letting me know that he'd done it and was wondering if it would be alright if the three of us could get together at the weekend.
It was then that I told him that Rosalie had been into the office and he'd laughed, asking what happened, so I'd told him.
"What did she say to all that?" He asked, unable to keep the humour in his voice.
"She didn't have a chance to get anything out after I said what I had to say. I told her to get out and what would happen if she showed her face around me or Killian again." I replied simply, shrugging again, even though he still couldn't hear me. "I have a feeling Anya might have had words with her, though."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's Anya. You hurt someone she cares about and you pay the price."
"I guess I'm in a world of pain if she gets her hands on me then, huh?" He sounded slightly nervous and I didn't blame him. Anya would make him work to prove himself to her. She wasn't going to let it go quickly. I think he knew that.
What he didn't know though was that Anya knew that I knew what I was doing. She trusted my judgement but was able to put me in my place if she felt I needed it. She didn't pull punches and I knew that what with her expecting, her hormones were going to be going haywire. I kind of felt sorry for Jasper when he met her.
She was going to make him work for it.
I took a breath, knowing that what I had decided on Saturday was what I needed to do. I had to set some boundaries with regards to my relationship to Jasper. I wasn't going to stop him from seeing Killian but I didn't want to risk the hurt that it could potentially cause him if Jasper and I were to get involved again and it didn't work out.
Anya was right. I still loved him and I didn't think I would ever stop but this might be one of those times when love might not be enough. I was going to have to learn to trust him with Killian somewhat but I didn't know whether I could trust him with my heart again.
They always say that your heart and your head hardly ever agree with each other on things of this matter and I had to admit that this was one of those times.
My heart was trying to convince me to give Jasper another shot. That I needed him around and not just for Killian. That I wanted him around, which I did.
My head on the other hand. It had a very simple opinion on the matter.
My head was telling me 'hahahahahahaha (serious face) you're fucked'.
Yeah, not so much of the agreement thing going on here.
"Hey, um . . . are you free for lunch?" I asked, glancing at the clock, seeing that it was almost a quarter past eleven.
"Sure," I could hear his voice lighten slightly at my words and I clenched my eyes clothes, gripping my hair harshly. "Where did you want to meet?"
"Um . . . how about Pincrest Diner at twelve?" I asked, letting out a breath. It was around twenty minutes from my office but it was neutral ground and I had to admit, it did damn good food.
We agreed that we would meet there and I hung up, running a hand through my hair. "Hey," I looked up seeing Anya standing in front of me, a grin on her face.
"Hey," I couldn't help but grin back. She'd had another scan this morning. Something she'd organised for Masen, so that he could see the baby and not have to wait until the twenty week scan she would have at the hospital. This one had been done at a private facility so that she could have it done. I wasn't sure how much it cost but I knew that it wouldn't matter to Anya. Seeing her husband happy was the only thing that mattered to her.
Of course, having him treat her to lunch afterwards didn't hurt.
"How did it go?" I asked and she grinned, showing me a scan photo. I couldn't help but grin seeing the little peanut shape on the paper in my hand. It was because of those scans I'd had that I'd called Killian Peanut. I had started when I'd had my first scan and it had just stuck. Of course I knew that it probably wasn't going to last much longer. He would soon be getting too old to have a nickname like Peanut.
I was going to make the most of it while I could.
"It went great. He had tears in his eyes. I didn't mean to make him cry."
"It wasn't your fault. It's overwhelming, knowing you're going to be a parent. I mean, you starting crying at your first scan, didn't you?" She glared at me before blushing and smiling as she nodded. "It makes you emotional."
"It's getting kind of annoying though. He's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and it's starting to bug me." She moaned, sitting down in the chair across from my desk. I often wondered whether I should just stamp her name on the back of the chair like they did on movie sets.
She was the one who used it the most.
"It's the only way that he can get involved." She scowled at me and I held my hands up. I knew it from her side of the story, which meant that I understood how she was feeling. Of course, I had been in kind of a fragile state of mind when I was pregnant with Killian. The two of them had taken care of me when I needed them the most and I would be forever grateful for the two of them coming along when they did.
If anything happened to me, I had made arrangements for Killian to be put into their care. That would stand unless Jasper could prove to me that he would be there no matter what. I hadn't been around him long enough to see if Killian really did come before everything else. While I understood that sometimes there were things at work that you just can't get out of. That there are clients that won't back down no matter how important something at home was, they had to be seen right now but Killian didn't. Killian was four. All he would know was that there was something out there more important to his newly acquired Papa than he was.
I had to know where Jasper stood on everything.
If Killian knew that he was not going to be around at a certain time, then he would be okay but if he was expecting him to be there and then he just wasn't then it would confuse him.
I needed to know what was going to happen with him.
At ten to twelve I walked through the doors to Pinecrest diner, quickly being approached by a young hostess. She smiled at me, batting her eyelashes as she led me to a table. I let her know that I was meeting someone here and to show him to the table I was at when he arrived.
It was an excruciating ten minute wait as I had the hostess hanging around, asking if I needed or wanted anything and had a waitress eyeing me from where she was wrapping cutlery. I wasn't sure that I was comfortable with that.
"Hey, I'm not late, am I?" I looked up at him and smiling at his windblown hair. He took off his jacket, hanging it over the back of the chair on the other side of the table before sitting down, his eyes bright as he looked at me.
"No, I just got here a little early, that's all." I chuckled, glancing at the scary women that were hanging around. "I'm kind of glad you're here now though. I think the hostess might want to eat me and not in a good way."
He laughed, reaching across and taking my hand in his, winking at me. I glanced up at the hostess to see her face fall slightly as she stalked away. I smirked at him, silently telling him that it had worked. He looked down as he let go of my hand.
The waitress came over and handed us some menus, giving the both of us a smile as we ordered some drinks. Both of us were strictly on soft drinks, not wanting to go back into work under the influence.
"So," he sighed, handing his menu over to the waitress after we ordered our meals. "What did you want to talk about?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "It's obvious you didn't ask to meet me just because. There's something you want to talk about. There's nothing wrong with Killian, is there?"
He sat up straight, a mild panic appearing in his eyes. "No," I shook my head, waving him off. "Killian's fine. Probably covering some poor unsuspecting child in fingerpaints as we speak." He chuckled, looking slightly nervous and I gave him a smile. "He's fine."
"So . . ." He leaned forward, clearly wondering what I had asked him to meet me about.
"I do want to talk to you about Killian." I sighed, taking a sip of my coke. "He has a routine during the week and that's not something I want to break." He nodded, understanding, taking a gulp of his own drink. "I think . . . if we kept it to weekends for the time being. You know, days out, things like that. Or even just lunch at the house, maybe dinner. Keep things simple." I had this rehearsed so much better in my head.
"I agree." He nodded, giving me a small smile. "Don't want to overwhelm him. I meant what I said when you called me on Saturday, Edward. I want to be there for him. I've missed enough through my own stupidity," I sat up straighter but he held up a hand, "don't say anything. I know that Rosalie had some part to play in it but I was the one that made the decision not to go home that night. If I had, I wouldn't have missed out on the first four years of Killian's life. I've missed so much so far. I don't want to miss anything else." I gave him a small smile at his words, hearing the honesty behind them.
"Well, in that case, maybe someday soon you can experience the fun that is bedtime." I smirked as the waitress came back over placing our food in front of us and asking if we needed anything else. We both declined and she nodded before walking away.
"Sounds like it's interesting." He grinned and I chuckled, shaking my head. He had no idea. "Do you have to go back to the office today?" He asked and I thought about what I had on my schedule for the day. I shook my head, making a mental note to make sure that I could catch up with the work I hadn't been able to get done today. "Will you come somewhere with me?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "I have something I want to show you."
"Okay." I nodded, holding up a finger as I pulled out my phone. I quickly called Bella, letting her know that I wouldn't be back in the office today and she told me that James Harper had called again. I told her that I'd deal with it in the morning, not wanting to deal with him right now. Not that I would when I was outside the office but he was like a terrier that wouldn't let go. I told her to relay the message to Anya and Jason and she told me she would.
I smiled at Jasper as I hung up the phone, putting it back in my pocket.
We ate our lunch, talking about nothing of any real consequence. He groaned as his phone rang from his jacket pocket, looking at me apologetically. I nodded, letting him know that it was alright for him to answer it.
"I'll make it quick." He grinned and I chuckled, finishing off my hamburger. "Yeah?" It was obviously someone he knew well otherwise I doubt he would have answered the phone that way. "I told you it could wait until I got back into the office in the morning." He sighed, his posture stiffening slightly. "I don't care what the man says, if he wants the products and the endorsements, he'll wait another twenty hours. Look, I'm having lunch with Edward right now and I won't be back in the office until the morning." His features darkened slightly at whatever the person on the other end of the phone had said. Apparently it wasn't something Jasper wanted to hear because he snapped that he was busy and hung up.
"Everything okay?" I asked and he sighed, pushing his food around his plate before looking up at me.
"Yeah, it's just Demetri's been acting weird over the last couple of weeks." He sighed, sitting back in his seat. "It's like he wants me to do nothing but work."
"He's probably just making sure you're not slacking." I smirked and he rolled his eyes at my words. "Wanna get out of here?" I asked and he nodded, calling the waitress for the check.
We argued about who was paying and I was in the middle of stating the fact that I was the one that had invited him out to lunch, so I should pay that he called the waitress over to the table, slipping his credit card into the booklet and telling her to hurry. I glared at him and he chuckled saying that I could pay next time. I wasn't sure that I wanted there to be a 'next time'. At least not any time soon.
We walked out of the diner and he nodded towards his car, saying, quite rightly that I had no idea where I was going. I rolled my eyes as I rolled him over to where he had parked his car. I looked longingly at my Volvo, not wanting to leave it where it was and he laughed.
"Never pictured you driving a Volvo." He chuckled as he pulled out into the street.
"The safety on them is highly recommended, especially with little ones." I pointed out and he nodded.
"Maybe I should invest in one." I could hear the hope in his voice so I didn't say anything against his words.
He was trying and that was what mattered.
I was slightly surprised when we turned into a residential area, rows on brownstones either side of us. Jasper pulled up to the curb, parking the car and smirking at me. I followed him out of the car and walked up the steps, curious as he unlocked a door to one of the houses.
I followed him into the house, awed at the size of the house. It was so much bigger inside than it looked from the sidewalk.
The foyer was huge, opening out into the expanse of the kitchen, doors leading off into what I guessed was to be the living room. There was a staircase in front of us and I looked up, seeing that there were at least three floors to this place.
"What is this, Jasper?" I asked and he chuckled.
"Well, I thought it was a house but I might be mistaken."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Ha ha." I turned back to look around at what I could see.
"To be more specific, it's my house." I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "Closed it on Friday."
"How come you didn't say anything about it?" Yeah, I guessed that on Friday, we'd been concerned with other things that took precedence and something else I knew that we had to deal with, but maybe being alone with him in an empty house wasn't the best time to get into that. But we'd been together all day on Sunday. Why didn't he say anything about it then?
"I wanted you to see it before I said anything." He shrugged, looking slightly sheepish.
"You wanted to show me an enormous house that you'd bought to live in?" I was extremely confused and part of me knew that he knew that. "Why do you need all this space?"
"I didn't just buy it for me, Edward." He sighed, looking down at his feet. "I wanted somewhere that Killian would have space to play. I realised that a penthouse probably wasn't the best place for the little guy, so I looked around a bit. This place has its own neighbourhood watch, there's little traffic, not that I'd let him out there on his own anyway," I nodded, having been on the scary end of Killian seeing something shiny and taking off after it once or twice before, "it has a yard as well." He gestured towards the back of the house and I followed him round to look out the large windows out the back of the kitchen. It was slightly overgrown but it wouldn't take long to sort out. "I'm going to get someone in to clean it up, you know make it suitable for him but it also means that I can keep an eye on him if I'm or we're inside. And having the space means that if he's here and it's not so good outside, he can play in here without getting bored." He looked at me, biting down on his lip. "I bought this so that I had a decent place to bring Killian. If it's alright with you."
"Jasper, this place is incredible." I chuckled, looking around at the enormous house we were standing in. "Wait? Friday. That was before you'd even met him." He shrugged, nodding silently and I knew then that he was committed to being in Killian's life before he'd even known how long it would take me to make the decision to let him into his life.
He nodded for me to follow him and we walked up the stairs. "I was going to get some stair gates, to make sure that he's safe and everything." He looked worried and I snorted, laughing as I followed him up the stairs. "What?"
"There won't be any need for those. Not that they'd do much good anyway." He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. "He knows how to get through them. They never worked. Ever since he was three, he's been able to open them. The sneaky little shit." He laughed and I couldn't fight the grin.
He showed me around the house, showing me the elevator that was in there because of the fact that the previous owner had been in a wheelchair before he died. He was going to work out a way to block it off before long, not wanting Killian to get in there and get stuck. I agreed with his reasoning. Killian had a penchant for getting into places he wasn't supposed to go and it had a tendency to piss me off sometimes. I didn't let it show, just letting him know that he wasn't supposed to do that and not to do it again.
Surprisingly, he didn't.
"And this . . . will be my room." He grinned and I chuckled, walking into the room, my footsteps echoing in here as they had everywhere else in the house. There wasn't any furniture in the house and I had to admit, the place had great acoustics.
I looked around the room, noting the walk in wardrobe and en suite. I felt my brow furrow as I looked around the room. "Is it smaller than it should be?" I asked and he grinned at me, walking over towards the mirror that was next to the window.
"You know, I didn't even notice." He chuckled, pressing on the mirror. It opened, revealing a concealed room behind it. "It has a panic room." He nodded and I stuck my head inside the concrete outlined room. There were monitors along one wall and a phone next to them. "I didn't even realise until I bought the place and leaned against the mirror."
"How did you not know?" I asked, looking at him and he shrugged.
"No one at the real estate office knew." He pointed towards the top hand corner of the bedroom and I noticed that there was a camera there. "They cover every corner of the house."
"Safety first, huh?" I asked and he nodded, chuckling. "This place is amazing."
"Would it be okay . . . if I gave Killian a room here?" He asked and I sucked in a breath.
"Let's see if he likes the house, first." I hedged and he nodded.
Who was I kidding? Killian was going to love this place.
I think Jasper knew that I wasn't anywhere close to letting him keep Killian for the night and might not be ready to for a while yet. I didn't like spending the night away from my baby when it was with people I trusted with my life. He was more than my life. I was everything that I am and I had to make Jasper realise that.
And looking around this house and what he had told me he was going to do with the place to make it safe for Killian, I didn't think it would take much convincing. I just had to get him to the same level of love for my . . . no . . . our little boy.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
If you think of the house from Panic Room (in which, when I started watching it for the first time, I did think Kristen Stewart was a boy. Don't judge, I'm not the only one) that's the house I'm going for with Jasper's new house.
What do you think?
Is he proving himself little by little when it comes to Killian? Edward's starting to trust him a little more when he says he wants to be there for him but not when it comes to his own heart.
Let me know what you think.