A/N: I know…it's been longer than a month. But it's finally here.
I won't say much except for the fact that I think this is the chapter many of you have been waiting for and it took forever, but it's here now.
This chapter wouldn't be here, however, without two of the most amazing people EVER. This chapter is dedicated to: HopelessRomantic and InStrFan.
I hope you like it!
Oh yeah…309 reviews? THANK YOU!!
THANKS:
Carlz02: LOL. Yes, a new chapter. YAY for no homework! LOL. I hope you don't want to hurt him too bad. Uhhh, yeah. I think I would be too. I'm glad that was your fave too.
scrubslover: I'm glad on both counts. You'll learn a little bit more about them in the next chapter I believe. I'm updating now.
Cristina89: Love the Italian culture! LOL. I'm so glad you love this. I hope you love this new chapter just as much.
PorcelainChaos: I'm glad you thought it was awesome. I have that feeling too sometimes. LOL. Maybe…maybe not. You know stuff other than the "teachings" happen. LOL. AHAHA! I'm sorry to make you wait so long. I'm posting now.
LittleZurawski: Thank you! Me too, it makes it easier to write…kind of. LOL. She will. Promise. They will…eventually. His past: you could say that. Thank you for waiting patiently. :D
Princess of the Rogues: LOL. You're welcome! I'm glad you liked it. She is like…half way out of the way. She's not done causing havoc yet. LOL. Well, it's not havoc, but she's just not telling the whole truth. LOL. I'm updating now!
modernxxmyth: YAY! Not that I recall, but I like the length too; keeps things flowing to an extent. Um, yes! LOL. I'm glad you like her. I'm beginning to like her too. I'm updating now and thank you for thinking this fic is fabulous.
Arielle: WOW!! That's serious. Thank you! I can't wait for you to read the next chapter. I'm excited. I'm updating now.
madisonko: LOL. Yes, now she does.
SimpleMelody47: Hmmm…guess you'll have to wait and see. Thank you! She's looking at it in terms of a relationships rather than the positions that society has given the pair. It's different, but you're right. You'll see.
nasher91: LOL. YAY! Thank you! I'm glad you like this. I hope you like the new chapter too.
TommyQsSexyashell: LOL. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. I guess we'll see. I hope you like this new chapter.
hayleyquincyox: YAY FOR NEW READERS! I'm glad you love this. I'm updating this now!
Disclaimer: Song used…Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love" (listen to it). OHH!! Big one…though this chapter isn't extremely graphic or anything, it is R-rated, if you will. So if you shouldn't be reading anything to that extent, then maybe you should skip this chapter. Maybe if I have time I can spit out a PG version, but I think the whole effect would be lost. And now I'm rambling. And now you know what the "teachings" are and ahhhh. LOL. Let me know if you can't read this for whatever reason. I will be changing the rating on this for a little bit…cause stuff happens you know. :D
A/N at the bottom.
R&R or R&L please.
THANKS MUCHO!!
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Chapter 20
"First Loves"
She tapped her pen impatiently against the oak desk she was sitting at, the arm of her director's chair stabbing her side.
Her phone rang again.
Didn't he get it? Honestly.
She didn't want to talk to him.
That's kind of why she hadn't answered it the last 25 times he had called.
Yeah, 25.
Her phone buzzed and then beeped once.
He had left her a voicemail.
Again.
That had to be, what, number 15?
Freakin' pathetic.
She glanced at the silver monstrosity, seeing the service light turn red. She glared at it.
Abruptly, she got up, the director's chair crashing over. She pulled the phone off of her bedside table and raised her arm.
She could feel her blood pumping through her body she was so angry.
She wanted to throw the phone so badly.
But she didn't.
Slowly, she brought down her arm and just as her hand reached her jean pocket, the phone rang.
Her eyes widened and she hurled the phone at her bed. It rocketed across the bedspread, hitting the opposite wall and falling to the floor a silent mass of metal.
There.
Now maybe he'd get that she didn't want to talk to him.
She triumphantly walked back to her desk, picked up her chair, and sat back in it.
She had more important things to do than listen to Tom apologize.
Again.
- - - - -
His eyebrow quirked and he pulled the phone away from his ear.
Weird.
He got her voicemail.
Again.
He closed his phone and placed it down next to his laptop. He'd call her later.
Or maybe she'd call him back.
They always did.
Cause he was Jonathan.
- - - - -
She looked up from her book and glanced at her door. Then it happened again.
Someone was knocking.
"Jude," a voice called through the door.
"I'm busy," Jude yelled.
"Honey, I think you might-"
Jude got out of her chair. Didn't they understand? She had homework. What the hell was so important?
She threw open the door, revealing a startled Victoria in the hallway.
"Yeah?" Jude asked.
"Sorry, I know you don't like to be interrupted, but-"
"What?" she said impatiently.
"The phone," Victoria said, thrusting the house phone into Jude's vision.
Her eyes glanced at the object in her mom's right hand. She wanted to throw that one too.
Jude rolled her eyes. She really didn't want to talk. "Can you tell them I'm busy?"
"I tried," Victoria said, shrugging. "But he won't take no for an answer."
That sounded a lot like –
Her eyes darkened and her breath shortened.
He wouldn't would he?
He better not have.
Jude plastered a fake smiled on her face and stuck her hand out. "Thanks Mom. I'll take it."
Victoria apprehensively handed her daughter the phone. The scene playing out in front of her was unusual.
Jude didn't like to be bothered. Yet here she was…letting someone bother her.
"You're welcome," Victoria said slowly.
Jude silently smiled and took the phone from her mom. She backed up, shutting the door in front of her as her mother walked away.
Her grip on the phone was tightening. She was beyond happy.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
She raised the phone to her ear, her heart beginning to race. "I swear to God, Tom. What-"
"Tom?"
Her eyes widened.
It wasn't Tom.
It so wasn't Tom.
She closed her eyes tightly and breathed short breaths.
Fuck.
"Hi Jonathan," she forced through clenched teeth. She could feel the beads of perspiration fall slowly down her forehead. She silently prayed he wouldn't comment on her mishap, but had a feeling that a prayer was not going to help.
"Hey," he said.
She placed her hand on her forehead and sighed. She had dodged the bullet…for now. "Um, I'm kinda busy so if you-"
"I know. Your mom told me," he responded.
Slowly she opened her eyes and said, "And she also said you wouldn't take no for an answer."
"Persistence. It's a lovable quality, right?" he said as he leaned back in his chair.
She took her hand off of her forehead and shook her head. "On some people," she said sardonically.
"Oh, you hurt me, Jude," he replied dramatically as a he laughed softly. He was unsurprised by her comment. Jude was Jude. Her sarcasm was just one of those things you dealt with or dished back equally. Whatever the case, she made for a nice companion…when he wasn't busy with-
She rolled her eyes. "I bet."
He glanced at the phone on his right, the light blinking rapidly. Speak of the devil. He was so engrossed with his other phone that he hadn't heard Jude's response.
Jude noticed. "So what's up?" She plopped on to her bed and leaned on her Cobain pillow, waiting for his answer.
This time Jonathan had heard her as he peeled his eyes off of his other phone. "Oh well," he said, clearing his throat. What was going on? Was he nervous? No. He was Jonathan. There was a difference. "I uh…I wanted to invite you somewhere. Kind of a payback for GMajor. Although this is not nearly as cool as-"
"Sure," she replied instantly.
His brow furrowed. Wow. That was fast. "You don't even know what it is."
She shrugged to her empty room. "So, I'll still have fun."
"The movies?" he offered. Not his first choice, but it would do.
"Movies are fun. I'll be fine," she said. "Promise."
"Okay," he said reluctantly.
"As long as it's not a scary movie," she added.
His eyebrows rose. "What kind of a person doesn't love a horror film?"
"Um, me."
He laughed loudly. "Oh come on. Seriously."
"I am being serious," she said. "Oh I know!"
"What?" he asked.
"We can watch 27 Dresses-" she started.
"NO," he said loudly.
"What? Why not?"
"It's a chick flick. I don't do chick flicks," he responded.
She rolled her eyes. Boys, she thought. "It's a rom com," she corrected.
"That's synonymous for a chick flick," he responded.
She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever."
"You know I'm right," he sounded, smiling smugly.
Jude could practically see the smile as if Jonathan was right in front of her and for the third time in a row that night she rolled her eyes. "No, I know you're Jonathan."
"Which means I'm right."
She shook her head. "Have you always been this arrogant and I just didn't know it."
"Yeah," he admitted. "We haven't talked a lot in the few times we've been together so-"
"True."
"So I'll pick up at seven on Friday and you can see just how arrogant I can really be."
She chuckled. "Sounds like the night out I've always wanted."
"See ya Superstar," he said.
"Bye," Jude said before hanging up and placing the phone on her bedside table.
She got off her bed and was about to walk back to her desk when the phone started to ring. Again. She slightly rolled her eyes and turned around, grabbing the phone and placing it next to her ear. She sighed heavily and lay on her stomach across her bed, her legs dangling on the side.
"Jonathan, seriously. I already said I 'd go," she said. What didn't he get?
"Jonathan?"
Jude clenched her jaw. Strike two.
Her night was not going well.
"Tom-" she said breathlessly as she closed her eyes.
"Not who you were expecting, I assume," he replied shortly.
Jude silently cursed herself for being so confident. She needed to be more careful.
She sighed heavily. "He just hung up so I thought he might have been calling back."
"Because he asked you out?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.
"He didn't ask me out." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.
Tom clenched his jaw and said, "Whatever."
Jude laughed sardonically, all the reasons why she had been avoiding Tom's calls floating into her head. He had some nerve. "Is that why you called? Just to harass me?" she asked loudly.
"No," he said sharply. He hadn't. He wanted to apologize. But at the moment that was the last thing on his mind. "I called because you're my girlfriend. Something I think you seem to have forgotten."
What was that suppose to mean?
"Ha," she scoffed. "Believe me, I constantly remind myself."
"Mmmhmm," he sounded. "Because you seem so thrilled with the idea."
"Yeah, I just love it when my boyfriend makes plans with his ex-fiancé and only tells me after he already said yes."
He clenched his jaw. He knew what he had done was wrong. But it wasn't enough to just feel guilt, he knew. "Jude. I told you I was sorry," he said softly.
She laughed sardonically. He was not going use that excuse. "And that's supposed to make everything okay?" she shouted. She didn't care if anyone heard her. She was beyond caring. She was livid.
"No, but-"
"Seriously, Tom. What was I suppose to think?" she asked.
"You were supposed to trust me," he retorted.
She scoffed loudly. "I do trust you. Except for the times when you pull shit like that."
"Jude-"
She sighed. "You know what? Just forget it. I've got stuff to do. I've got-"
"Other guys to do."
Her eyes narrowed. What the fuck was his problem? Honestly, he had no right to be mad. She, on the other hand, had every right. "You are being so fucking immature, Tom," she said through clenched teeth.
"Jude, watch it," he said harshly.
"Watch what?" she asked. "What are you gonna do, Tom?" she pressed.
Tom sat on the other end, silent as he tried to keep his anger in check. He knew he couldn't say anything, no matter how badly he wanted to. He wasn't that guy. He couldn't be that guy. Again.
"That's right," she said knowingly. "You aren't going to do shit."
Tom opened his mouth, a comeback on the tip of his tongue, but Jude was too fast for him.
She hung up on him.
Again.
- - - - -
The ride up the elevator was silent. And it was so hard not to look at him.
But Jude kept her eyes in front of her from the moment they entered the small silver box. She wasn't about to let him win. To let him know that she was giving in.
Because she wasn't.
At least not yet.
She wasn't completely forgiving this time around. What Tom did –
Well, it wasn't unforgivable, but it made it difficult.
He had shown remorse. That much she could see in his eyes.
At least from the few moments she gazed at him during class. She had tried her hardest not to look at him throughout the day, knowing it would only lead to some made-up apology that wouldn't fix anything.
So when he had texted her earlier that evening to talk, she had been willing.
At least willing enough to talk. That was it.
And willing enough to lie to her parents just to meet him.
The elevator bell dinged, signaling they were at their final destination. Jude abruptly exited the elevator before Tom had a chance to say anything.
She didn't want him to talk yet.
And he wasn't going to.
The pair silently strode down the hallway until Jude abruptly stopped at a door that Tom vaguely remembered.
She placed the key in the lock as Tom stared at her back. He wished she would turn around and put him out of his misery. A smile. A wink. A nod. Something. Something to let him know that he was in the clear.
Again.
She opened the door and walked through the threshold, leaving Tom in the hall, staring at nothing but air.
He finally realized she had gone inside and proceeded to follow her in, almost slamming the door behind him.
Jude turned around instantly as she tossed her jacket on the couch and glared. He didn't need to start slamming things. They hadn't even talked yet.
She sat on the arm of the couch in the living room and patiently waited.
He needed to initiate things if he thought he had even the slightest chance at forgiveness.
He stopped walking as he placed his jacket on the oversized chair next to him and stood in front of Jude, silent. Then he sighed and opened his mouth.
"How could you bring him, Jude?" he asked accusingly.
Her eyes narrowed. Was he serious? That was something she should have been asking him, not the other way around. "What is the big problem? It wasn't a date. We were just hanging out," she retorted angrily.
He scoffed loudly. He knew better than anyone that that was not the case. "Oh please," he said, rolling his eyes. "Guys and girls don't hang out. They can't be friends," he said, shaking his head.
Jude clenched her jaw. "Ohhhhh, like you and Angie?" she asked, giving him a pointed look as she cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms. "I see how it works."
Tom sighed and looked up to the ceiling. Stupid Tom. Stupid. "That's not what I meant," he said lowly, looking back at Jude.
Jude got off the couch and walked up to him. "Well then explain it to me, Lucy," she said, getting in his face. She was tired of him trying to weasel his way out of talking. They were actually going to do this. Whether he liked it or not. "Cause us kids, we don't understand everything that comes out of the adult mouth."
"Jude-" he started, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Bad move.
She pushed both of his arms away and walked to the other side of him.
"What?" she yelled.
"Will you stop talking?"
"No!" she yelled. "I shouldn't have to," she said, pointing to herself. "I'll talk all I want. Deal with it. I-"
He pulled her arm as she continued to talk, bringing her closer to him. Immediately their bodies hit each other and his lips were attacking hers.
Instantly, he started to lose his footing and abruptly pushed Jude up against the wall, a painting banging back.
Her eyes flew open at the abrupt contact, but once she realized what they were doing, she couldn't keep them open.
She couldn't do anything but kiss him. But just as quickly as it started, he stopped and pulled away.
"What was that for?" she asked, her breath dancing against his skin as her eyes were finally open.
"You kept talking and talking. It was the only thing-" he started, a glint in his eyes.
She smiled widely and grabbed his face, her lips against his in seconds. He snaked his arms around waist, pulling her even closer to him.
So much for talking.
Maybe they would get to that later.
Maybe.
She let go of his face as his tongue ran along the bottom of her lip. She lightly pressed on both of his shoulders with her hands and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist.
He immediately caught her, his hands cupping her butt. She tried to situate herself better as their tongues danced together, but instead the inseam of her jeans ran against his lower half.
He moaned loudly and she knew they couldn't wait any longer.
She knew what she wanted. And she was going to get it.
She briefly pulled away, the pairs' breathing extremely heavy.
"Tom," she whispered.
He nodded wordlessly, the hunger in his eyes speaking for both of them.
They resumed kissing and he walked blindly, still carrying her to her room, the door slightly ajar already.
He kicked it open farther, a loud thud echoing through the large floor plan.
He immediately threw her on her bed. She bounced a few times before he positioned himself between her legs and they continued to kiss.
She ran her hands over his broad shoulders, her brain trying to memorize every muscle her fingers touched.
But it wasn't enough. To touch him. To taste him.
She needed to feel him.
His hands grazed the hem of her shirt where it met the top of her jeans. His fingers slid underneath the thin material, dancing across her lower back.
She gasped at his touch as it sent chills up her spine.
She ran her hands down his chest, her nails creating lines of electricity.
She grabbed the hem of his button down and pulled ferociously, the buttons popping off one by one.
He pulled away and gazed down at her as she ripped his shirt in half, the tearing echoing in the wide room.
She tossed the remnants to the side without a second thought. A wide smile plastered on her face, she reached for his belt. But he pushed away her hands.
She frowned slightly at him and sat up, resting on her arms. "What?" she said, slightly out of breath.
"Slow down," he growled. He hadn't been expecting anything tonight. Not like this. But now that the opportunity had presented itself, he wanted Jude to enjoy it. To revel in it.
She gazed at him for a second. "No," she said roughly, shaking her head. She reached out and pulled on the top of his jeans causing him to fall back with her as she lay back down.
At first, he was going to let her take charge, but he couldn't get his head around the idea. This wasn't how he wanted things to go. He wanted this to be all her.
Slowly he pushed himself off of her and immediately he could read the disappointment written all over her face. "Jude-"
"Don't. I really can't-" she started, sitting up slightly as she leaned on her arms. He wasn't doing this. Finally, after everything that they had said...almost done. No.
"Jude, stop." He sighed heavily. If she thought that it was easy for him to push her away, to stop what they had started…she was wrong. So wrong.
She abruptly got off the bed and stood in front of him. She pulled her shirt down and stared at the floor. She knew if she looked at him in that moment, she'd cry.
She wouldn't. She wanted this. She really did.
He walked up to her and took her hands into his. But she still refused to look at him. "Jude."
"Hmm?" she sounded, trying to feign interest in the cream rug under her feet.
"I love you."
Instantly, she looked up at him. She shook her head roughly. "Please don't." She could feel tears already springing at the corners of her eyes. No. She wouldn't cry.
"Just listen." He lightly squeezed her hands.
She sighed heavily and nodded silently.
"You want this? Now?"
She breathed deeply and gazed at him. She did. But did he?
"Do you?" she breathed.
He smirked. "It's my first love, remember?"
A wide smile broke out on her face and she laughed slightly. Oh boy did she ever. She had felt so stupid that day, to be so secure in what she had felt. That day felt like ages ago. But it had barely been months.
"I want this. Now," she said confidently, a smile still on her face.
"Just making sure," he said, biting his bottom lip.
A familiar movement occurred in Jude's stomach as she gazed at Tom. Her smile grew as she realized for the first time in months she was experiencing somersaults.
It was a sign, she was sure.
She walked up to him and placed her hands on both of his shoulders as he continued to bite his lip. "Let's get loud," she whispered, her breath light against his skin.
He gazed at her and smiled, recalling the exact day that they had discussed moments like the one they were about to have.
She was ready. He was ready.
He lightly grazed her cheek with his right hand, running his thumb over her lips. She opened her mouth and ran her teeth across his finger tip before biting down lightly. He pulled his hand away from her mouth and cupped her chin. She instinctively leaned into his hand as she gazed at him.
Slowly, he leaned down and kissed her softly.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed the space between them, melding her body against his.
She could feel him hard against her thigh, causing a shiver to run down her spine. Lightly running her fingers down his back, Jude kissed him again. Tom placed his hands on her lower back and lightly grazed the skin underneath her shirt. She took her hands off of him and raised her arms high in the air.
He understood her completely and took the hem of her shirt in his hands and slowly pulled it up and over her head. He gazed at her, holding her shirt in his hands.
Immediately her face flushed, knowing he was staring at her in such a way she had never seen before. She took the shirt from him and tossed it over his shoulder quickly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss her again.
Her hands instinctively went to his face as she grazed his jaw line. Wordlessly she began to walk backward a few steps until her calves hit the edge of her bed. She broke away for a few seconds as she wanted to make sure her entire body made it onto the bed. If she fell, she would never live it down, she was sure.
Once on the bed again, she grabbed his face and kissed him roughly, letting go of his face only to run her fingers through his hair. He knelt in front of her, his body once again between her legs.
Slowly she worked her hands down his back and stopped again at his belt. She wasn't going to let him stop her this time.
Her finger tips grazed the skin at the top of his jeans. Tom shuddered and a devilish smirk formed on Jude's face. Her fingers were quick as she loosened his belt and rapidly pulled it through all of the belt loops on his jeans.
She tossed the belt aside, her stare unwavering as it landed on top of what used to be Tom's shirt. As Tom looked away at the former pieces of his clothing, Jude took the opportunity to start unbuttoning his jeans.
But once again, Tom stopped her. He gazed at her, a smoldering look in his eyes and took Jude's hands into his. Slowly, seductively, he pulled her arms up, pinning her hands above her head.
He smirked as he took a long, lingering look at her. He couldn't believe he finally had her exactly where he'd always wanted her. A place so forbidden he'd fought wanting it for so long. But he couldn't fight it any longer.
At an excruciatingly slow pace, Tom left a trail of kisses down one arm and then the other, each kiss tickling Jude's soft skin causing her to shiver.
She hated that he had the power to do that to her. But she also loved it, the exhilaration that ran through her at the simplest touch of his skin on hers.
His fingers grazed the underside of her arms and she gasped audibly, a shallow breath passing across her lips. She lovingly glared at him and he smiled cheekily back.
He let go of her arms and she took the freedom to reach back towards his jeans. He shook his head, laughing as he gazed at her. Jude gave him a pointed look and Tom abruptly pulled away.
He stood up and unzipped his jeans, shimming out of them a few seconds later only to dramatically toss them to the side like Jude had before.
A throaty laugh echoed into the room as Jude watched him clad in only boxers now. He smiled at her as he knelt back down on the bed and ran his fingers up the sides of her thighs. Her back arched at the touch, her hands grasping at the bedspread beneath her.
His hands left her thighs and made their way up the sides of her stomach. She gazed at his hands as they traveled up her body, feeling the heat within her rise.
She knew it was time. She couldn't wait any longer.
Fumbling, her hands reached down to her own jeans as she tried to unbutton them. Tom watched in amusement, a full smirk on his face as Jude unsuccessfully attempted to disrobe her lower half.
Amid one of her fruitless endeavors, Tom pushed her hands away and unbuttoned her jeans. Once undone, he slowly pulled them off of her legs, sticking his tongue out at her.
"Don't stick your tongue out if you don't plan on using it," she responded, her eyes dark.
As he tossed her jeans to the side, he murmured lowly, "Don't worry. I plan to."
His words caused her to shudder and a smile to form on his face. He knelt back down between her legs, thin fabric their only barrier.
His hands skimmed across Jude's lower back, traveling farther up before completely stopping altogether.
She knew what he was getting at. Or at least what he was trying to get at.
Instinctively she arched her back and his fingers undid the clasps that met in the middle of her shoulder blades.
He pulled her bra away from her at such a painstakingly slow pace that it gave Jude enough time to think. About what they were doing.
About how Tom was actually going to see her. Naked. Bare. Everything in the open.
And it frightened the shit out of her.
Impulsively, Jude folded her arms across her chest just as Tom was about to pull her bra off completely.
He stopped abruptly, letting the black fabric fall back against her skin. He wasn't going to force her into anything. It wasn't a big deal if she wasn't ready.
Jude breathed deeply, hoping the oxygen would clear her head. And it did. Slightly.
She took in the sight in front of her. A man whom she loved with all of her being.
Jude let out a low breath. That was it. It was all she needed to know that it didn't matter if she was insecure. She loved him. And he loved her.
Gradually she removed her bra, from one breast then the other. When she was done, she tossed it to the side like the rest of her clothes.
She unfolded her arms quickly and watched Tom's expression. He stayed silent, keeping a steadfast gaze on her face, his eyes never traveling anywhere else.
Jude let out a silent sigh as she gazed back at him. He knew. He knew she was self-conscious. And he had comforted her when she had least expected it. God, she loved him.
She sat up slightly, reaching for his face and kissed him roughly. Tom's hands moved toward her stomach, lightly caressing her skin. His right hand slipped and slid over one of Jude's breasts and she moaned in his mouth, her nipples instantly hardening.
She had never been more turned on in her entire life. Instinctively she let go of his face and her hands went straight to her underwear.
Tom pulled away, feeling Jude's sudden movement underneath him. She bent her legs and as quickly as possible she removed her panties, letting them fall off the edge of the bed.
Tom gazed at Jude who only smiled seductively, ready to pull him back towards her. But he stood up and peeled off his boxers ever so slowly.
She watched in amazement as he kicked off his last garment and then stood up straight. Jude could feel a heat rise in her and her breathing suddenly shortened.
She let out a ragged breath and slowly pushed herself farther onto the bed. She had expected him to instantly climb into bed next to her, but he didn't. Instead he walked a few steps to the side of the bed and bent down.
When she heard a small tear, she knew.
He was being safe.
She would have to thank him for that later.
After finally getting situated, Tom climbed on to the bed.
He positioned himself between her legs all the while gazing at her. She bit her bottom lip nervously.
This was it. There was no turning back.
Not that she wanted to.
He breathed deeply as he placed himself closer towards her, her legs pressed against his. Jude gazed at Tom longingly, anticipating what was to come.
Hovering over her, he bent down and attacked her lips with his. He knew he had to do something to get her not to think about what was going to happen or how much it might hurt.
Her mind was on sensory overload, the feeling of Tom's lips blocking out all other thoughts.
And with one fluid movement, he entered her. She closed her eyes tightly and her back arched slightly. She had never felt a pain so pleasurable before.
She bit down on Tom's lip.
Again.
This time there was no blood.
A few seconds passed, their breathing the only sound in the room. Then she opened her eyes and stared into his.
They were warm and loving. And as she lay, her body connected to his, she felt herself relax in his arms.
He took that as his sign to keep going.
Slowly, he moved out of her. And then back in. Unhurried. Tentative. Waiting for her to adjust.
Her fingers ran down his back, digging into his skin as he quickened his pace. She had never felt anything like it. Her hands traveled up to his neck and she kissed him hard.
He kissed her neck, her shoulders, running his hands up her thighs. She audibly gasped, arching her back, the sensation causing her nerve-endings to go crazy.
It was too much for her to take.
She bit into his shoulder as his thrusts accelerated incredibly.
"Tommy," she breathed.
His eyes darkened extremely and a thought passed through his head. No. He wasn't going to think about that.
This was all about Jude.
He doubled his pace; trying to get his head out of the direction it was going into. He would not ruin this.
A feeling rose between the pair, both unable to comprehend anything around them. Jude could feel herself tightened around Tom, a pleasure mounting as she gasped.
Her back arched and with one final thrust, she closed her eyes tightly and screamed his name.
The world around her faded in and out, her mind hazy with pure bliss.
A few seconds later, she could hear Tom growl her name. With her eyes still closed, she smiled.
Tom hovered over her, trying to catch his breath, seeing the smile on her face. He silently laughed and pulled Jude closer to him, lying on his side.
She opened her eyes and her smile widened.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel…weird."
His eyebrows rose. Weird. That was not the adjective he thought she was going to use.
"I mean, I feel weird not having any words to accurately describe how I feel. I mean, I do kind of think of myself as a word guru."
Tom laughed again and bent down to kiss her. "You talk too much," he whispered as he gazed at her.
"So I've been told." She yawned heavily and then smiled apologetically at him.
"Sleep. You can talk later," he said knowingly.
She yawned again and never bothered to throw a comeback at him. She leaned into his chest, her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Tom gazed down at her and smiled.
She was beautiful.
And she was his.
- - - - -
He sat at the baby grand, his hands perspiring. He could still hear her breathing. Hell, if he was honest, he could still feel her. Taste her.
And if he was being truly honest, he would admit he was scared shitless too.
He had been slightly apprehensive of kissing Jude for the first time, of knowing what it meant. The fact that they couldn't go back. That he couldn't take it back. The line that they had crossed.
This was bigger than that.
So much fucking bigger.
They had actually done it.
He had had sex with his student.
God, that sounded so wrong. And it was.
But when he thought about having sex with Jude…it was anything but wrong.
It was so right that it scared him.
It was part of the reason that he couldn't sleep next to her.
It wasn't because of her.
It was because of what they had done.
He couldn't even form the words.
There weren't any.
Just grunts and moans and gasps.
It had been amazing. He wasn't about to deny that.
And he also wasn't regretting the act.
But now that their relationship had been consummated, she was his.
This was more than a ring or marriage or anything else that binds a woman and man together.
This was the real deal.
He couldn't turn back now.
And as he sat in the dim moonlight in the loft's living room, half-naked in his jeans, he realized he didn't want to.
Not ever.
Because Jude was his.
And always would be. No matter what.
And no one was going to get in the way of it.
No one.
- - - - -
The notes floated into her room causing her to turn over. The space next to her was vacant. Cold. Hard.
Where was he?
She sat up, pulling the sheets closer to her naked body and listened.
The music stopped briefly and then it abruptly started up again. The same few notes over and over again.
It was then that the first time they had ever been to the loft floated into her head and she remembered the way he looked at her piano.
He was playing.
She quickly got out of bed, taking the silk robe from her desk chair and putting on. She wrapped the band around her waist tightly and silently opened the door as the music changed into a longer chord.
And then she heard his voice.
Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things I want to say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone
She stopped abruptly in her tracks along the carpeted hallway. Her breathing stopped. He was singing about them.
She wanted to run out into the living room and tell him how much she loved him and even more so now that he had been singing about them.
But she decided to wait and listen to the rest of it before she made herself known.
Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone
She listened to the lyrics as they floated into the living room. They had overcome so much, but there was still so much that lay ahead of them. They hadn't talked like they should have. She had so many questions, but when she thought hard about what she wanted…it was him.
Always him.
A part of her was scared by the fact. The fact that though Angie and Kwest had hinted at a Tom she didn't know…she loved the Tom that was sitting at her piano.
The man that had shown her so much.
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
She wanted that love to be enough. To keep them together through everything, good or bad.
But even she knew that wasn't enough.
It couldn't be.
Yet she wished it was.
You'll keep me standing tall
You'll help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone
Everything he was saying or rather singing was true. He needed her.
And he could bet that she needed him just as much.
As he sat on the cold bench, he realized that no matter what came between them, they belonged together.
Right or wrong…they belonged together.
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
He knew that soon he'd have to tell Jude about his past.
About who he used to be.
He knew the conversation would not be easy and that there would probably be lots of tears.
But he hoped that in spite of it all…he would be able to show her – to prove to her – that he had changed.
For her.
Not for Angie.
But for her.
And that maybe…at the end of the day, she would still love him.
Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away
She stood at the edge of the hallway, listening. And thinking.
As much as she wanted to relish in her post-sex bliss…she knew she couldn't. Because reality was setting in. As it always did. Rearing it's ugly head at the most un-opportune moment.
The questions she had lay on the tip of her tongue, just waiting for the right moment.
But was there ever a right moment?
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We're gonna live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
Not when it came to them, she knew.
They had been destined to be wrong from the very beginning. But they had defied everything so far.
Well, most things.
Jude shook her head roughly.
No.
This was enough. They were enough.
They could do this. Together.
She just needed to believe that they could make it.
Because if she didn't, they were destined to fail.
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
And Jude was last person who would ever admit failure.
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
He played the last few keys and then the faint sound of clapping made him look to his left.
She was standing next to the couch, her hands lightly appraising his performance.
"I didn't know I had an audience," he muttered. He looked at her and smiled warmly.
As he opened his mouth, she slightly faltered thinking he was mad that she had heard him. But the moment he smiled, all her worries melted away.
She walked over to him as he pulled the cover over the keys. She stopped once she got to the bench and walked behind him.
She wrapped her arms around his bare shoulders and kissed the top of his right one, the touch causing him to shiver.
"I loved it," she commented.
"It's about us," he said, holding onto her forearms that were positioned against his collarbone. He slowly turned around and faced her as she let go of him.
"I figured," she said, smiling cheekily.
"Ohhhh, that's a mighty big ego there. Already thinking songs are about you."
"What can I say, I have the best teacher," she said lowly, shrugging.
Tom's smile faltered slightly. Jude sighed. She hadn't meant to bring the mood down.
"We can't forget that, can we?" he commented.
"Guess not," she said shortly.
"It doesn't matter," he said, taking her hands in his.
"Yeah," she said as she looked away, embarrassed.
"It doesn't," he said forcefully. A thought floated into his head and his stomach dropped. No. No. "What we are doing isn't wrong," he reiterated. "Does it feel wrong?"
"Feel?" she asked, turning her head towards him suddenly." Never, she thought. "No," she said, shaking her head. He smiled slightly. "But when I think about it…yes. Sometimes."
"Then don't think about it," he muttered. He stood up and pulled her closer to him. Her skin flared with heat, the silk doing little as a barrier against the elements. She lightly shivered as she looked into his eyes.
She noticed the same hunger she saw on her birthday.
"Okay," she breathed.
Tom sucked in a sudden breath. He needed her.
Badly.
"Don't think about anything," he muttered. He grabbed her face and kissed her deeply.
She pulled away, breathing deeply.
"Whatever you say, teacher," she responded as he took her hand and started to walk her back to her room.
"I have a few other things I'd like to teach you," he said as they reached the open threshold to her room.
Jude smiled widely, letting him pull her into her room.
She closed the door with her foot as she began to undo the band on her robe.
She had some lessons she needed to get back to with Tom.
He was going to teach her something.
A/N: There is no preview. I haven't really started the new chapter. Sorry. Just know that I am not a big fan of all this gushiness…I like drama. ;D