A/N: This chapter and the one that follows are basically what I have been leading up to. At least most of everything has led up to this. I'm going to say that I did a shitty job of getting us to this place, but I can't change anything now. Unless I decide to re-write some chapters (which is very plausible, I just don't know when).

I really dislike the second scene in this chapter – but it gets what I want done. Eventually I'll probably rewrite it cause the rest of this chapter works for me. You get to see a certain someone and some of his past (at least his version of it).

Anyway, this is the chapter that I decided to dedicate to charley07 at the beginning of this story. It's here, so thank you!

And isn't it fitting that I'm posting on the 2 year anniversary of this story? I started laughing when I realized that. Here's my present to you…(I just hope it doesn't take me another year to finish this story. LOL.)

THANKS:

bbybty9: I hope you like this!

scrubslover: I was glad too. Now I'm glad this chapter is done – now I just have the second half of this whole thing. I'm sorry for the wait – school was getting in my way. LOL. But I've figured out how to get all of this done, I think. My sympathies are with her as well. He is – he doesn't understand the way he's acting, sadly. Nice surprise? LOL. It's been awhile, I don't remember any surprises. :D

miss massacre: Oh, I hope you didn't mess up your eyes. LOL. I'm sorry for making you wait. I'm glad you loved it. Eventually they will – only time will tell. I'm posting now – finally.

mysweettime19: I'm glad you were excited and love it. Ooo, I guess I didn't do my job right. Jude is NOT cheating on Tom. Tom just has trust issues. Jude DID think she was acting like Angie – to an extent. But after the first "fight," she realized that she wasn't really doing anything wrong – she was only doing as he had asked her to. Jude knew that even though Tom was asking her not see Jonathan anymore – that didn't mean he was going to stop seeing Angie (who is essentially Tom's "Jonathan" – the person they are using to cover up their relationship with). She asked him the same thing – knowing he wasn't going to say yes. It was just to prove that he was being hypocritical about the situation. The revelation was that Jude wanted two things – the life she had before Tom and the one with Tom. But both obviously couldn't coincide without a compromise. Jude had tried to do that on her own – by going to SME's performance while still in a relationship with Tom. However, Jude knew that Tom still didn't trust her (after the Jonathan call) and she asked what would make him trust her. He said "don't leave." He was basically making her choose between those two lives and told her that his trust would only come when she had no one else in her life – no one else to make her like "Angie." I hope that helped. LOL. That was really long – that really confirms how crappy the last chapter was. Sorry!!

Momma M: Thank you! I like the dark, scary Tommy too. This chapter has a bit of him in it – as does the next one. I love the song too. I hope you like this one!

Carlz02: LOL. Nice job. Thank you for loving this! I loved those lines. They were one of the first ones that I had written for that chapter. I'm glad you liked it.

AsumBlosum: LOL! Yes, it did. I know that song – I've been listening to it a lot lately. As for Jude singing it – that's a strong possibility. It definitely works. I have a few song ideas for both of them, but only two are completely concrete. So I guess we'll have to wait and see. Thanks for the suggestion!

bigsis0829: Awww, I'm sorry for making you cry! That was never my intention. I hope you like this chapter and I hope you don't cry. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own "Closer" by Burn Season, A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean, Hypnotiq (but it's really good!), 7-Up.

A/N at the bottom.

R&R or R&L please.

THANKS MUCHO!

"What Hurts The Most"

She had never imagined that love could be the cause of a pain like the one she was experiencing.

As her body slowly slid down the wall behind her, she thought of only one thing: whether or not his last statement was true. Because although she was no longer confused, she was anything but happy.

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Chapter 22

"Closer Part 1"

Her fingers ran over the top of her knee, a bruise faintly showing through her fair skin. The bruise came from being so nervous that her knee kept brushing against the bottom her desk every time she shook her leg. She couldn't get her leg to stop shaking. It was if it had a mind of its own. Or worse – knew something she didn't.

She had spent the weekend putting on a brave face for everyone spent time with. Saturday night had been spent doing what she set out to do before things had gotten messy: hanging out with SME at their show.

Although she hadn't planned on it – she had also wallowed in as many Hypnotiq's and 7-Up as she could get her hands on.

Then Sunday, as her hangover began to clear, she spent the afternoon bathing in the sun while she helped her mom fix her flowerbeds. They had spent time laughing and joking, but each moment that passed slowly broke her heart.

There wasn't one second of her weekend that didn't revolve around a thought that led towards Mr. Quincy. He was slowly becoming a disease to her – invading her every sense, thought, and action. And all in a day and a half.

Something had to stop. Or she was going to do something she regretted.

Her eyes darted towards the door, hearing it open. But when a flash of platinum blond hair entered her vision, she casted her eyes down again. It wasn't him.

And even if it had been, she had no idea how to approach him. What was she going to say?

It was the first time in the entire time she had known him that she was speechless. That she didn't have a word or a comment.

And it hurt.

It was the realization that maybe – maybe things really were over.

And that maybe – maybe he actually meant what he had said.

- - - - - -

His stomach was in knots, just waiting. He wanted the day over already. All of this teacher shit was beginning to annoy him. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she was in his next class. Maybe it was because he knew she would be waiting for him.

But things were over. She had let him know where he stood.

He glanced at the clock, waiting for the minute hand to speed up.

But he knew it was a futile attempt.

He had a class to teach.

- - - - - -

"So…what did you do this weekend?"

Jude gazed to her left and noticed Eden Kane looking back at her or rather through her. She could never be too sure.

When did she change seats? Jude thought as she tried to form a decent excuse. She knew there really wasn't anything she could say that was even close to the truth.

"Uh…" she started. "I went to a concert. You?"

"Girl's Night," Eden replied, flattening her skirt.

Jude nodded, using the impending conversation to keep her mind off of a certain teacher that was bound to walk into the room at any moment. "Nice."

"Yeah," Eden said. Eden's eyes darted to the door. Jude followed her gaze. Nothing. "I also…"

Jude looked back at Eden, noticing her trail off mid-sentence. There was a glint in Eden's eye. Something that Jude noticed only happened when she had major gossip to report. Like last year, when the lame cheerleading uniforms Mr. Mills approved went missing and the tight, form-fitting ones that the squad actually wanted had magically appeared unscathed. "You…"

Eden bit her bottom lip and Jude fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I also saw Mr. Quincy," she whispered.

Jude's eyes widened noticeably, but Eden's face never seemed to register the act. Her throat constricted tightly and her skin warmed up tremendously. She was not supposed to react this way. She had to stop.

He had made his choice and walked away from her, even when she was trying to get him to stay.

Finding her voice somewhere within her, Jude responded. "Saw Mr. Quincy what?"

"He was buying some beer. With some chick. I think she teaches here," Eden replied nonchalantly as if her confession was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Oh."

Then Eden opened her mouth again, just as the door opened.

"And they looked pretty friendly," she added quickly.

Eden turned her head forward as Jude slightly gaped at her side. Eden's words slowly penetrated her brain, but it was the site from the corner of her eye that made her heart quicken.

Her day had just gotten much worse.

Pulling the door with him as he walked through the threshold, the solid piece of wood slammed back into place and he instantly saw 31 bodies jump. And for the first time in six months, he didn't give a fucking damn.

He marched up to the front of the class, his gaze never wavering. Slowly but surely, the class seemed to take notice of his change in persona and they quieted down. All except one pair of students to his right.

"Miss Harrison?"

Jude looked away from Eden. She had begun to ask her about her Quincy sighting, but now, as she gazed at him for the first time since the tumultuous ending of their relationship; it was obvious that Tom didn't care about her or anything else at the moment. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him, but he feigned any recognition of the act.

Figures, she thought.

"Anything you would like to share with the class?" he asked, his voice dripping with annoyance. He rose one eyebrow, almost tempting her to rebel against him when he knew she wanted to. If things were different, he would have wanted her to.

But things had changed.

"Nope," she responded curtly. If he wanted to act like an ass, then she was going to let him. That was his problem.

He clenched his jaw, disappointment rising in him. "Then I suggest you be quiet."

"Duly noted," she said, glaring at him.

The air in the class stayed tense and no one spoke as he leaned against his desk. He sighed, knowing it was unfair to take his anger out on 32 kids who didn't deserve it. The lone one that stood out, however, needed some of it.

Or rather they needed to deal with the situation at hand that was obviously affecting their school relationship.

"So…" he drawled. The uncomfortable silence began to break as some of the students noticed him relaxing – one more than the rest.

"We read and watched A River Runs Through It a couple months ago, right?"

He waited for some assurance, but only a few students nodded their head. Frustrated at the reluctance of his class, he ran his hand through his hair and his eyes darted towards his right.

He knew it wasn't his head doing the thinking this time, but his heart because his eyes landed on the one person he didn't want to concentrate on.

Her blue eyes locked with his and he could feel his heart strain.

How did we get here? He thought as he noticed her eyes look away; almost ashamed that she had looked in his direction – a clear difference to the defiant student she had almost been minutes before.

He cleared his throat and tore his gaze away from Jude. "The Big Blackfoot River was where Norman and Paul spend a lot of their time. During this time, they are able to discern their place in life and where they are going, right?

A collective 'yeah' sounded in the room and a small smirk formed on his lips. It was moments in the classroom like this that made him forget about all of his troubles – even when they were in the same room as him.

"Now, I'm asking you for your river."

The ocean of students looked at him curiously – except for one – not completely understanding his task.

"I would like you to reflect on your life. Many of you will be graduating soon and I'd like to know how you got to this point and where you think your future lies."

Without further explaining his task, he got up and grabbed a stack of blank printer paper from the right side of his desk and gave it to a student sitting on his left.

As the student passed out the sheets of paper, he said, "Use this to show your river."

A hand shot up from the middle of the room. "What do you want us to do with the paper?"

"You can draw, write, paste, type…whatever. Basically anything you want, Chastity."

The brunette student smiled and quickly went to work.

The student placed the extra paper back on Tom's desk and sat down. A few silent seconds passed as Tom thought about the assignment at hand.

It had been a spur of the moment thing. This assignment was not the one he had been planning, but when he looked at Jude and thought about their relationship for that split second – it came to him. And as he noticed every student feverishly working on their 'rivers,' he realized he had made the right move.

The future was something that every one of his students had to deal with at some point and he felt that now – almost three-fourths of the way through school – was the most appropriate time.

He gazed up at the clock and noticed that time had passed him by. "Alright, let's clean up. You have until Wednesday to get your river together and then we will present."

A collective groan found its way into the room and Tom laughed. His students were too predictable sometimes.

"Alright, alright," he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Since I am apparently asking an enormous amount from you, I guess it's only fair that I do the same thing."

The room got silent and Tom could swear that the air from the right side of the room was sucked right out of it. He only had one guess as to how that had happened. "I will tell you about my river – my life."

- - - - - -

Before she had time to process the announcement he had made, the bell had rung and like the coward he was, Mr. Quincy was nowhere to be found. The split second staring war they had caused something in Jude to question the possible ending of their relationship. And when he had said that he was going to tell the class about his life – it was a sign. A sign that maybe things were okay.

Maybe she was wrong – maybe he hadn't broken up with her. Maybe they just needed to talk it out – if they even could.

That was her thought process after their split-second staring war. And then the announcement confirmed it for her. But now, as she should next to her closed locker, she didn't have the chance to find out. And she didn't know if she ever would.

A tall, lanky young man shuffled into Jude's vision and her eyes widened.

"Kat! Jamie!" she called.

Two heads turned towards her, one with a large smile plastered on his face, the other glaring at her. Jude formed a fake smile on her face in response. It wasn't that she was unhappy seeing her best friends – but it only made her realize what her choice had cost her in the end.

"Oh, now you know our names?" Kat asked sardonically. Her hands clutched a pair of books as she stared at Jude.

Jude clenched her jaw, unprepared for the cold welcome Kat had in store for her. "I deserved that."

"You think?" Kat raised one eyebrow and jutted her jaw. She was not about to let Jude sway her way back into her life – not after her long absence.

"Guys, calm down," Jamie said, confused as to why his two best friends were no longer acting like friends. He knew Jude had a lot on her plate, but she was his best friend – time couldn't change that.

Kat rolled her eyes.

"Look, I just wanted to – " Jude started.

"What? Apologize for ditching us – " Kat replied.

"Well – "

"Why are you back? Did he dump you or something?" Kat spat.

Jude's mouth opened ready to reply, but she didn't have anything to say. She could feel the tears starting to form, but she wasn't going to cry.

"Wait. Who dumped who?" Jamie asked, clearly lost in the verbal ping-pong match the girls had just shared.

"I – " Jude started, shaking her head. She breathed heavily, trying to stop the tears from falling. "No. I dumped him," Jude replied softly, staring in Kat's direction.

"Wait, what?" Kat asked. Jude dumping Quincy seemed highly unlikely. There had to be something else. "Why? Did he hurt you?"

"He hurt you!" Jamie shouted.

"No!" Jude yelled back, her voice suddenly hoarse. She didn't want anyone thinking that. "It just didn't work out," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Jude's eyes locked with Kat's for a second and Kat nodded. There was more. They would talk later. "I'm sorry," Kat mouthed.

Before Jude could muster thanks, one of Jamie's arms had snaked across her shoulders and was pulling her and Kat towards the parking lot.

"So, off campus lunch?" he asked.

"Duh!" they replied in unison.

Jamie rolled his eyes and shook his head as a laugh poured from Kat's lips. A giant smile formed on Jude's face, watching her best friends walk beside her. Despite the costs, it was good to have her friends back.

- - - - - -

Kat moved fast, her legs strides ahead of Jude even though she was shorter. They were supposed to meet Jamie at Jude's car to get some coffee and then do some homework – like they used to.

Kat turned the corner and abruptly stopped.

Oh shit.

Her skin began to crawl and she fought the urge to hurl. Backing up, she turned on her heel. She didn't want to Jude to see what she had just seen.

"Wait!" Kat said, running into Jude. "How about we go this way? I – "

"But this way is faster, Ka –" Jude said, turning the corner. Kat closed her eyes, waiting for Jude's reaction. A few seconds passed and Jude came back. "Oh."

She had not been prepared for that – at all. It only confirmed what Eden had said earlier. And Jude didn't know how to respond or what to think.

"Yeah," Kat breathed.

Kat wrapped her arms around Jude's body, giving her an instant hug.

"I'm okay," Jude whispered softly. Neither girl believed Jude's words. Not after what they had just seen. Jude pulled away slowly and her lips curled into a smile.

"He's a fucker. That's all there is to it."

Seeing Kat's defiant stance, a laugh slipped between Jude's lips.

"Laugh. Go ahead," Kat replied reassuringly. She gingerly pushed Jude towards the opposite route leading to the parking lot. "It's what you need."

Jude silently nodded, not really knowing if laughing was going to change anything, but it definitely helped.

His hands were in her hair, holding the back of her head close to him. His lips secured to her lips as if he needed her to live. He knew it wasn't right, but he had to. He felt it was the only way.

Sensing his audience was gone, he abruptly backed away from her, his hands dropping her hair. Her eyes were big and dazed. He had succeeded. Then why did he feel like shit?

She gazed up at him, her entire body shocked to the core. The pads of her fingers ran over her swollen lips and he partially forced a wide smile on his face. His smile caused her to wonder even more. What the hell? "Wha – " she started, trying to find her voice. "What was that for?"

He stared down at her, his gaze full of something she couldn't name, but something she had seen before. He shrugged, reaching out to place a stubborn strand of hair behind her ear. "For being you…"

"I'll be me more often then," she said, baring two rows of perfectly white teeth.

"You do that." He internally cringed as he heard his own voice. What was he thinking?

She bit her bottom lip, playing the kiss over in her head. Maybe things had changed? Maybe they were different? Maybe he was different? "So dinner maybe?"

Tom sighed and in that moment he knew his plan had been wrong all along. "Not tonight. I – "

"Got plans," Angie recited. Things weren't different. Things hadn't changed. He was still Tommy and she was still Angie. "Some other night then."

"Yeah," he breathed.

- - - - - -

Rough fingers traced the steering wheel, feeling the cold leather underneath his skin. Instantly, one fist barreled into the center and the horn blared once, loud and harsh. A sharp pain shot up his arm, but he didn't care. He deserved it. What the fuck had he been thinking? He was an idiot – plain and simple.

He knew he hadn't been thinking…at all. It was obvious he hadn't been making the best decisions lately.

He had brought Angie further and further into his mess – something he hadn't wanted to do when he realized she was back in town some months ago. He wanted to forget her – like she had forgotten about him. But obviously that wasn't going to happen.

And then Jude. Everything he had been doing lately had been because of her. He was reacting the way Kwest knew he would. The way he didn't want to. Not after –

Not after Angie. But he couldn't help it. She got to him, just like Angie did. But worse, if that was at all possible.

So when he left her loft on Saturday, he called the one person that could help him focus – Angie. However, she was also one who could make him do things he regretted later, but at the time he hadn't thought about that.

He had only thought about Jude.

And he only thought about her when his lips were pressed against Angie's. He had done that because of her. Because of them.

He knew Jude had made her choice when she decided to go instead of stay with him, like he had asked her to. He knew that they were over. And as much as his head was able to comprehend the dissolution of their relationship – his heart hadn't, no matter how much alcohol he doused his liver with.

His heart hadn't been able to take her walking down the corridors, laughing with her friends like nothing had happened. Like they were more important than he was.

But if his heart had been paying attention – it would have realized she wasn't as happy as her laughs had let on.

- - - - - -

He had driven until his hands couldn't feel the wheel anymore. Until the lines blurred and he could no longer read the signs clearly.

It had led him to a place he'd only seen twice – a place that had started it all. A place he was positive could change things for him.

For them.

Jude's house.

His Viper slowly rolled to a stop, idling at a corner across the street from Jude's house, giving him a crystal clear view of it without him being noticed. He turned the engine off and left the radio on to pass the time. Pulling out a piece of gum from his jacket pocket, he opened it and placed it in his mouth before throwing the wrapper in his ashtray.

A ballad started to play and his hand instinctively touched the dial, changing the station when his brain registered the new song that had begun to play.

You say I'm stuck somewhere back in between
My blurred memories
Some say I kicked myself right in the face
I'm not as I seem

He closed his eyes tightly, moments from his past hitting him from all sides.

It was the fight that had caused his second to last break up – Break Up # 15 – with Angie. He had already found out about the abortion and it was still incredibly hard to be around her. Cecilia was anything but happy when she found out that they were still together, but he had told her that despite everything – he still loved her.

Cecilia had told him something he hadn't been too thrilled to hear – something that Kwest and eventually Angie had told him – something he wanted to forget. But he couldn't. And Cecilia hadn't been able to change her son's mind – despite the past they both shared together.

I'd erase what you say
Scramble words in the way

He remembered coming home and seeing Angie straddling someone on his couch. It took him a few seconds to realize who and what was happening. But he didn't remember anything in between expect for the next second he was nursing a broken hand that had someone else's blood on it and Angie and her "friend" had disappeared.

He had called Kwest who drove him to Toronto Memorial and a few weeks later, he had begged Angie to come back home.

She did. But two months later, she left him for good.

He opened his eyes and stared at his right hand for a while, flexing his fingers and playing that night over in his head.

He hadn't wanted to do the things he had done, but she left him no choice. It was all her fault.

But you can't take away
Turn away
Run away
Fuck with me

From the corner of his eye, a light turned on upstairs. He gazed up at it and saw Jude open her window before walking away.

The corners of his lips turned up and formed a smile.

His Jude.

He lowered his window, thinking he might be able to hear her voice. Instead he could hear some music filtering through. Straining to hear anything else, he leaned out the driver side window.

Nothing.

Then he heard a laugh.

Jude's laugh.

He felt his heart strain at her voice and immediately decided what to do next.

He needed to see her – needed her to understand.

He loved her.

Don't say that it's over
I'd kill to be closer

He stood in front of Jude's room, gazing at her behind a tree. He could still hear the music, but it was louder now. As was Jude's voice. He saw her pass by her window. Seconds later, another body passed by – one that was not Jude's.

Instantly his eyes darkened to the color of the sky overhead. He could feel his blood pulsing through his veins.

What was she doing? She was supposed to be his. She had promised – hadn't she?

His body tightened and his hands formed fists. Rapidly and without concern, he moved from behind the tree.

He walked towards her house, not caring if he got caught – if she saw him. It was always a rush. Maybe that's why he did it. Or maybe he really was crazy.

The blood rushing in his veins deafened all the noises around him, but her laughter was heightened. Her voice haunted him as he stood directly beneath her window. It wouldn't stop.

He didn't know what to do.

He turned on his heel, confused, and almost lost his footing. Looking down, he saw what it was.

He eyed the gray matter and picked it up in his hand, tossing it from one hand to the other. It was a rock about the size of a large Conch shell. It would definitely work.

Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a piece of paper. Grabbing a pen from his jacket, he scribbled something and then pulled out the piece of gum he had been chewing. He stuck the piece of paper to the gum and placed it on the rock.

He ran his hands over the piece of paper, making sure it stuck. When he was content, he took a few steps back – he needed the room and the correct angle. Then he did something he should have regretted, but didn't.

He pulled his arm back and in one fluid movement hurled it upward. A smile instantly formed on his face as he heard the rock meet a solid object and a cry of pain sounded.

- - - - - -

"I'm gonna get your mom."

Jude silently nodded as Jonathan exited the room. She rubbed at her calf, trying to lessen the pain. She was freaked out to say the least. A rock managed to hit her while she was in her room on the second floor. There was only one answer.

Someone had thrown it.

But the question was who?

Her body collapsed on her bed, the bedspread rising. She instinctively looked at the floor, using it to control her thoughts. But the floor held something else.

Tentatively, she picked up the scrap of paper and turned it over in her shaky hand. Her eyes ran over six words – words that were forever engrained in her head. Her throat started to tighten and she instantly crumpled the paper, placing it in her jean pocket. Slowly, she walked toward her window. Her tense body stood against the window pane and gazed out into the night.

She could faintly make out a leather jacket in between two trees opposite her house. The jacket flashed before her eyes and then it was gone. She blinked once more; making sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

The wind picked up and a shiver ran down her spine. Instinctively, she reached out and pulled her window closed, just as her mother and Jonathan entered her room. Turning around, her eyes locked with Jonathan's for a split second and the six words rang out again.

You never know who is watching.

- - - - - -

He slammed the door shut before turning on the ignition. His body was still pulsing from the rush. He didn't want to do it, but she left him no choice. She had to understand.

Jonathan shouldn't have been there. She didn't need Jonathan like she needed him.

They were meant to be together.

She was his.

Don't say that it's over
You can't live without me

"You can't live without me, Jude."

A/N: Preview:

Chapter 23

"Closer Part 2"

Remember the song used: Closer by Burn Season (listen: www. myspace. com / burnseason)

Teasers will be posted on my profile later. :D