A/N: You know the drill, but I won't say much so you can read this. Oh wait, say bye to Jonathan, guys…
THANKS: to you.
101isfan: I'm sorry! You'll find out shortly. Ah, thank goodness. I was worried about that. :]
btru2u: Yay! I'm so glad. You'll find out in a little bit. You might be missing Tommy a little bit more in a few. Just saying. ;] I'll keep going until I finish. Promise. :]
Abbey: LOL. Thanks! Uh, you will. Very soon. Yay, I'm glad. Thank you!
to those of you that put Don't Stand on Story Alert: XoXoNiLeY2010
Disclaimer: A/N at the bottom.
R&R or R&L please.
THANKS MUCHO!
"Prom Night" Part 1
"I know. You love him." Kat sighed. "God, I can't believe I'm even saying this but because you love him, you have to tell him – regardless of the outcome. He deserves to know."
"Okay." Jude smirked. Kat made it simple. Love was all she needed to hear.
"So take the damn test because you're killing me here."
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Chapter 28
"Prom Night" Part 2
Adrenaline unlike any other Jude had ever experienced coursed through her veins. And that was saying a lot considering the stage was her second home.
As she walked to the lobby, people passed by in large groups of color, no one sticking out.
Not that she would have stopped and said hi to anyone that did. She was on a mission – to call Tom Quincy.
Before she knew it the A Midsummer Night's Dream décor faded into the golds and purples the rest of the hotel used and she knew she had found a safe haven. A secluded corner called out to her, a few bystanders here and there, not paying any attention to the girl in the black prom dress.
Jude sat down, placing her clutch on her lap. She took a deep breath and opened the leather contraption that had held the bane of her existence up until a half an hour ago. From one of the corners sat her cell phone and it called to her like a lonesome guitar would.
Taking one more deep breath to steady herself, Jude flipped open the phone and pressed five, letting the phone do all the work for her.
In a matter of seconds, the line began to ring and then Jude heard it.
A song. Or a ring tone rather.
Her ringtone.
She turned her head slowly to the left and peaked around the corner. There sitting on the bench behind her was the man she had been thinking about.
He stared at his phone as if contemplating whether or not to answer it and Jude could feel her adrenaline being replaced by something close to anger.
Son of a bitch.
"Hiding out, Quincy?"
Tom jumped and shoved his still ringing phone into one of the pockets of his slacks. When he turned around, Jude swore she was staring at a guilty 12-year-old version of Quincy, complete with sheepish grin.
Jude pressed 'end' on her phone and tossed it to the side before glancing up to see Tom staring back at her intensely.
Her mouth went dry and she was instantly reminded of why she had left the ballroom in the first place.
"You – you look good," Tom said, "Really good."
Even though she tried to fight it, her face flushed. She bit her bottom lip and willed herself to remember the discussion she needed to have.
"Why are you here?" she asked instead.
"I'm here to chaperone. I've got to keep up with my teacher-ly duties, you know."
Jude closed her eyes. "How could I forget?" she said in a whisper.
"What did I do now?" he asked, a hardness to his voice that replaced any guilt she thought he might have had.
"Why do you think you did something wrong?" she said, opening her eyes.
He looked away, shrugging. "No reason. It was just something Kat – "
"I'm going to kill her. I knew she had – "
His eyes locked with hers. "Jude, it's really not a big deal.
She couldn't hold the gaze any longer, knowing what she knew. Her insides wouldn't let her. "But it could have been," she said, softly.
"What are you talking about?"
Jude opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Not even a breath. Yet he continued to stare at her like he was trying to burn holes through her body.
"You didn't use a condom."
The opening to their conversation had gone so differently in her head that it took Jude a few seconds to realize what she had blurted out. By then it was too late to take back and from the look on Tom's face she knew it was true.
It was a sucker punch to the stomach.
"I took a pregnancy test a little while ago."
Jude cringed, hearing how ridiculous it all sounded. Looked. Felt. And yet she couldn't get her mouth to form the words that would end the panic written on Tom's face.
He could see her mouth moving, but he didn't hear anything. Pregnancy test – was all that he registered. But it wasn't good enough. His eyes began to water. His legs began to shake.
He needed a concrete answer. He couldn't go through this. Not again.
She stared at him as he stared at the floor. Jude had expected a reaction similar to the one he had given her, but with more…umph. Maybe he would raise his voice or hit something. But then she remembered they were in public and this unfortunately was not the first time Tom had had to deal with this subject. So she waited.
And waited.
Five minutes passed and he remained in the same position.
Her nerves were getting the best of her and she was sure the more time Tom had – the easier it would be for him to make up scenarios in his head.
Finally he was able to look up at her.
"Are you or aren't you?" he asked. His words came out calculated and slow.
Jude closed her eyes. She thought she heard hope in his voice. She shook her head slowly. "No."
And for a split second, his world was upside down. The same feelings he had had as he stared at the discarded pregnancy test all those years ago flooded back to him and his stomach began to churn.
Then Jude reached out and touched his arm and his world was right side up again – images replaced, his heart slowing down again, but his stomach still churned.
"Would you hate me if I said I was relieved?"
The answer was easy even when his mind was a mess. "No." Tom sighed, a faint smirk on his face. "I would be worried if you weren't."
A sigh escaped Jude's lips. Tom laughed.
"Did you really think I'd pressure you into having a baby? Especially after last time?" he asked, his voice becoming more and more bitter with each word his spoke.
Jude shrugged.
"I may not be a good guy and I may not always be smart, but every once in a while – things even out."
"That's not how I – "
"I know."
Jude got up and sat down next to him, her gaze on the carpet. The fact that they were still in public didn't bother her. She needed to be near him. Especially considering their topic of discussion.
He glanced down at her and the words poured out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"I'm sorry."
She looked up, surprise written on her face. "Why are you sorry?"
"For starters, for being so careless. I keep playing that night in my head, but I don't ever remember putting on a condom. I guess, I guess I got caught up in the moment."
"We both were."
"I know, but I'm the adult."
Jude cringed and anger pooled in her stomach. "Don't, Tom."
"Jude, that's not want I meant…"
They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither really knowing what to say when someone spoke.
"I don't mean to interrupt you two, but Tommy, they need us."
It was Angie.
Jude looked up and saw her standing before them, her midnight blue cocktail dress hugging every curve imaginable. Jude sucked in her imaginary stomach in a moment of insecurity. Angie looked effortlessly beautiful. Just enough make up to compliment the blue in her eyes. Dangerously high stilettos. Tousled raven hair to her butt.
Jude could only imagine how she faired in comparison.
But any insecurity washed away when Tom put his hand on her knee and squeezed. Her insides flopped and she couldn't help but let a wide smile paint her face.
"You look beautiful," Angie said.
"Thank you. So do you," Jude whispered.
Angie turned around as Tommy placed one hand on the small of her back, ushering her towards the ball room again. Then they were gone.
- M -
She fidgeted impatiently as she stood next to Kat, waiting for Angie and Tom to announce Prom King and Queen.
"So?"
Jude glanced down at Kat and bit her bottom lip. Then from some place Jude didn't know existed, she reached out and pulled Kat into a hug. "Amazing," she said.
Kat pulled away, a smile on her face. "I'm always right."
Jude rolled her eyes. "This time."
The lights dimmed and a faint drum roll came from the DJ near the stage.
"Your Prom Queen is…Eden Kane!"
Thunderous claps filled the room. Confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling and Eden ran up to the stage. A faint smile painted Jude's face.
So this is normal, Jude thought.
A few seconds later Prom King was announced in the same fashion, but by then Jude didn't really care. Her energy was drained.
Jude excused herself back to her table while everyone else continued to watch as the Prom court took the dance floor. Eden danced in circles like a modern-day Cinderella with Eric Monahan, the school quarterback.
It occurred to her as she sat there, people-watching the kids she'd grown up with that she was no longer a part of their lives. She had gone and done one of the many things that would have made her an outsider. She'd had relationship with an older man. Something that many of her classmates would have never dreamt to do. The most unfortunate part was he was her teacher. That made everything much more complicated.
It didn't matter anymore though. She had come out on the other side, mildly scathed. But she would survive. She would persevere.
The song changed and the couples moved again, dancing with their respective dates.
Jude watched her classmate turned semi-desk buddy, Eden, dance with a tall boy whom Jude had never seen before.
He must go to a different school, she thought.
Until they turned around.
It was Jonathan.
Anger rushed though Jude's veins even though she knew she had nothing to be angry about. So he hadn't told her about Eden. She hadn't told him about Tom. And was she really all that surprised?
No.
But then he happened to catch her eye.
He stared at her, wide-eyed, with his hands resting on the small of Eden's back.
Then he blew her a kiss, followed by a wink.
A slow, calculated wink that made Jude's dinner swirl in her stomach.
She was going to be sick.
- M -
He stood outside of the women's restroom, waiting. He'd watched her practically sprint out of the ballroom and it had scared him so much he'd abruptly left a conversation with a few of the vice principals and Angie to see what was wrong.
But so far Jude hadn't come out.
He'd seen enough teenage skin and knew none of it belonged to her.
Then finally, she appeared in the middle of a crowd of her peers who rushed back to the ballroom. Someone must have told them the DJ was playing the last song of the night.
She froze, locking blood-shot eyes with him and waited until everyone had left before she moved.
"What are you doing here?" she whispered as she walked away.
He reached out to grab her arm as the vice principals he had been talking to walked by. He froze as they said their goodbyes and Jude's retreating form continued to get smaller until it was gone.
He silently cursed himself and then he saw Angie calling him over.
He took the out and walked toward Angie, hoping whatever she needed him for wasn't important.
But even though she'd only asked him to meet her back at her house – the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice, the shaking of her hands told him it was.
- M -
He found her a half an hour later, sitting on a bench near the parking lot. Alone.
He clenched his hands into fists. His phone began to vibrate for the millionth time in the last 30 minutes and he reached into his jacket pocket to ignore the call. He'd get to Angie's when he was done with Jude.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
She looked up with a smile. "Well, seeing as the first time didn't work, I figured I'd try again."
"If you didn't look so good in that dress, I'd leave you here to teach you a lesson."
Jude rolled her eyes and got off the cement bench. When she was a few inches away from Tom, she spoke again. "Johnathan was here."
Tom's eyes widened. "What?" His stomach clenched as he remembered how much he couldn't stand the little prick.
"I saw him dancing with Eden," she said, glancing away. "That's why I went to the restroom in case you were wondering."
Tom reached out and placed his hand on Jude's arm. It was cold. Silently he took off his jacket and placed it over Jude's shoulders.
"Thanks," she whispered. He stayed silent and took her by the hand, intertwining their fingers. Jude watched their hands as he pulled them farther into the parking lot. A smile painted her face.
"Kat has your mustang?"
She looked up and nodded. "Yeah."
He looked at her from over his shoulder. "Okay. I'll drop you off at home then."
Jude smiled and ran her hand up Tom's arm. "Or we could go to – "
"I can't."
Jude stopped walking and Tom's jacket fell from her shoulders. Tom turned and frowned, pointing behind him. "The Viper's this way."
"Are you sick?"
Tom's brow furrowed. "No."
"Angry?"
"No."
"Sad?"
"Jude – "
"First you don't even tell me you're going to be here. Then you squeeze my knee and hold my hand in public, but now you can't even spend an hour with me?"
"It's not – "
"I don't even want to know the excuse. Just take me home." Jude began to walk away, leaving Tom's jacket on the pavement.
"Angie asked – "
Jude turned around. "And you'd do anything she asked. I know the drill."
Tom took in Jude's face and his heart clenched. "She looked scared. Or sad or something. I just – "
"Want to be there for her. Like I want to be there for you."
Tom shook his head and Jude turned around. "It's not the same thing."
Jude shrugged and walked toward the Viper. Tom picked up his jacket off of the ground and hung it over his arm before following her. He unlocked the doors and Jude got into the car before Tom could open her door. He sighed, watching her fidget with her purse and walked to the driver's side.
The engine roared and Tom looked to his side. Jude still wouldn't catch his eye. "Do you want to come with me?"
"Not if you don't want me there."
Tom reached over the gearshift and placed his hand on Jude's. "I always want you."
Jude rolled her eyes and looked up at Tom. She nodded.
Tom squeezed her hand and then pulled out of his parking spot.
- M -
The drive was silent as Jude spent all of her time looking out the window at the passing cars. The Viper eventually slowed down and Jude glanced at the surrounding houses. None of them looked familiar.
"You don't have to do this, you know." The Viper came to a complete stop and Jude looked over at Tom, who was staring at a house across the street.
If she was honest with herself she knew she wanted to be anywhere than where they were, but here she was sitting beside him in his Viper. Jude nodded, understanding that she didn't have to do this, but he did. And she wanted to be there for him…for whatever this was.
Tom turned the ignition off and silently exited the car before he chickened out or Jude gave him some pep talk he didn't want to hear.
The lights, in what Tom remembered was the living room, turned on and Tom took a deep breath. From the corner of his eye he saw Jude walk to his side. He hadn't even heard her get out of the car.
She grabbed his hand and he instinctively pulled away. He cringed.
For a second, he had forgotten they didn't have to hide. He reached at his side and found her hand. Intertwining their fingers, he squeezed her hand, in reassurance. He pulled her against him, breathing in the mix of hair spray and vanilla perfume Jude was wearing. He closed his eyes.
A few seconds passed and Tom spoke.
"This was my house – our house. When I thought things were good between us, I bought it as a surprise."
The air rushed out of Jude's lungs. This house – it was big. It represented every wish, dream, fantasy Tom had ever had. And now…
Now it was just house.
Right?
"I never got to live in it because I – well, you know the story."
"Do I?" Jude whispered.
Tom didn't respond. Jude pulled away.
A garage door opened in the distance and when Tom opened his eyes to speak, he noticed the front door of Angie's house was open.
Angie appeared in the doorway, a hoodie and jeans covering her lean frame, basking in fluorescent light.
Tom took Jude's hand, never responding to her question. They walked across the street in silence.
"Come in."
- M -
Jude tried to keep her movements from attracting any attention, but when she shifted in her seat and the wood made a cracking sound – three pairs of eyes shifted to her and she felt like she was five years old again. She cringed.
"Why is he here?" Tom repeated for the fifth time in as many seconds.
Angie clenched her jaw and abruptly stood up. Maybe Tom wasn't ready for this. Silently she walked out of the room.
Jude watched as Tom stared down the second man in the room – the one she had tried to ignore from the moment they'd walked into the dining room. The first thing Angie had done was ask her and Tom to sit down. Jude had noticed the man, but never thought to ask about him until she had taken a seat and saw that Tom wouldn't even enter the room. Then he began asking why the man was there. That had been an hour ago.
But now Jude knew who the man was.
It was Michael.
The man Angie had left Tom for all those years ago.
"Tommy – "
"Tom. My name is Tom."
Jude rolled her eyes. Ironic. Her English teacher fighting about semantics. Teacher. Jude bit her bottom lip and sighed.
"Okay Tom. I know you don't agree with me being here, but I am. I think you just need to trust Ang."
Jude glanced up, catching Tom roll his eyes. A smirk almost painted her face.
Angie walked towards the room, stopping at the doorway opposite Tom. She glanced at Michael who nodded once then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Watching Angie made Jude feel uneasy and a tingle ran up her spine.
"I need to show you something, Tommy. You can come if you want, Jude."
Jude instantly shook her head as she looked at the wall next to Angie. Angie didn't look at Jude once as she said that and Jude took it as her cue that Angie didn't really want her go with them.
Jude turned her head as Tom placed his hand on her shoulder. He locked eyes with her and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Jude thought about smiling back, but when he took his hand off her shoulder she didn't bother. She leaned back in her chair and Tom walked out of the room with Angie.
Just as Jude closed her eyes, Michael spoke.
"So Tom, huh?"
- M -
Angie flicked the light switch and the stairs illuminated in florescent light. Tom grasped the stair rail with his left hand and followed Angie up the stairs. The walk was slow as if her mind was elsewhere. They passed a few doors and Tommy noticed how odd it was that the walls were bare. No pictures. No paintings. Nothing.
Angie stopped at a door that was slightly ajar. Music flowed from the opening. Tom strained to hear what was playing and almost ended up running into Angie. A weak smile painted her face and Tommy frowned. She opened the door wider and motioned for Tommy to pass through the door way.
He walked into the room and was instantly engulfed in darkness. When his eyes finally adjusted, he bit his bottom lip to keep from yelling out.
Sleeping in a twin bed of white and pink with a placard hanging on the wall that read "Cecilia" was a young brunette girl of about five or six.
Tommy instantly closed his eyes and opened them once more as if he was trying to wake up from some dream. When he opened his eyes, the girl was still there, but Angie had finally entered the room.
Tom felt all the air rush out of his body as he finally made out the song he had heard. It was of him singing. Singing a song that he had written years ago about Angie.
Angie looked up at Tom and smiled.
He was a father after all.
- M -
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, why him? He's not the most virtuous man ever." Michael leaned his elbows against the dining room table, a faint smirk on his face.
Jude wanted nothing more than to smack the smirk off. "This coming from you? Really?"
Michael rolled his eyes. "Look, I know the picture that has been painted for you. But did you ever stop to think that you didn't know the whole truth?"
Jude's eyes darted away from Michael's face. Why did everyone say that? If they were so concerned with her well being why didn't they just come out with the truth then? It was driving her crazy.
"I see I've hit a nerve."
Jude clenched her jaw. "Are you honestly trying to defend what you did? You cheated. How is that acceptable?"
Michael shrugged. "I never said it was, but I never hurt Angie. That was all Tommy's doing. You and I both know that."
"This is the whole point of your lecture – to show me how much of an asshole Tommy is?"
"No, I'm trying to show you that you are headed down a slippery slope. I don't want you to endure all that Ang has."
"Too late for that," Jude muttered.
"What?"
Jude shook her head. "Nothing. That's not going to happen. He doesn't control me."
"That's what Angie said."
Jude bit her bottom lip. "I'm not in denial. I have a life outside of Tom. I leave to Berklee in July."
"Does Tommy know that?" Michael pressed.
"No."
Michael raised his brow. "You need to tell him."
Jude smirked sardonically. "Thank you, Mr. Obvious."
Michael raised his hands. "Hey, I'm just trying to save you the trouble –"
"I can handle myself. He already knows I'm leaving. He just doesn't know where."
"Well, look at Mr. Milano – a changed man," Michael said, cocking his head to the side.
"Excuse me?" Jude said, as her brow furrowed.
"Congrats."
Jude jumped and looked up. There stood Tom with his hands in his slacks pockets and a forced smile on his face.
"Thanks. She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Jude eyed Michael for a second. She wanted to be forward and just ask everyone what the hell they were talking about, but some part of her wouldn't let her.
"Yeah, looks just like Angie."
"Actually she –"
"Jude, we should go. It's late. I should take you home."
Jude sighed heavily, feeling the pull of wanting to stay and have it out with Michael and wanting to talk to Tom privately. Silently Jude pushed back her seat and got up.
Tom said goodbye to Angie, ignoring Michael, and walked out of the house without looking back.
- M -
When Tom passed the freeway entrance that led to her house, Jude knew something was up. But the conversation that she'd had with Michael had thrown her off her game – whatever game that was – and she couldn't think of the right way to ease into a conversation.
So she stayed silent.
Until Tom did the talking.
"I can't take this."
Tom pulled into the nearest parking lot and came to a screeching halt in a parking spot. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel and a loud beep sounded causing Jude to flinch. Then he jumped out of the car.
It took Jude a few seconds to get her bearings and when she did she realized where they had stopped.
Jude tried to remember how that night had gone in her head, but all she had left were shadows of memories. Nothing that boded well for their relationship, she knew. But it was better than nothing.
Jude opened the passenger door and felt the air brush against her skin. "Fuck."
It was as if nothing had changed. The lights were the same. The smell of the water was the same. Hell, if Jude was even the least bit truthful with herself – Tom was the same.
They were at the pier again.
Jude closed the door and made her way towards Tom, who was standing against a rail, muttering to himself.
Her heels scratched against the concrete and smile painted Jude's face. She remembered that sound. Tom must have too because he turned his head and glanced at her.
"She has a kid – with that prick of a man – if you can call him that."
Jude stopped just a few inches short of Tom, taking in his words. Nothing made sense. She had a kid and it was Michael's?
Tom turned around fully and pulled Jude toward him, walking to a similar patch of grass that they had sat on months before.
He sat down first. "I'm sorry."
Jude looked down at him, wondering what he was apologizing for this time. She kicked off her heels and sat in front of him, placing her legs over his out-stretched ones. Then she waited. Tom just continued to stare at her.
She took his hands between hers and placed them in her lap, hoping that the small gesture would calm him – make him feel safe – so that he would explain himself.
He felt her cold hands pierce through his skin and he briefly let go of them to take off his jacket and hand it to Jude. When Jude had wrapped herself in it, he spoke again.
"She showed me her kid." His voice was soft. But Jude heard everything she needed to. Realization hit her and it took a few more seconds before the pieces came together in her head. Before the situation became clear and she knew where they were headed. Before she knew why he had apologized.
"You thought she was yours?"
Tom nodded and Jude felt her heart clench. "I did, but the first words out of her mouth were She's not yours." Tom laughed bitterly. "She said she had wanted me to meet Cecilia for a while, but never found the right time until Michael had proposed a couple weeks ago. She wanted to show me that she had moved on so that I would know it was okay to move on too."
A tear trailed down one of Tom's cheeks and Jude reached out to brush it away. When he had met Jude, he thought that had been it. That he had been in a good place and like any normal person – could have moved on to a new relationship. But maybe they had all been right. Maybe he wasn't in the right place to be with Jude. "And?"
Tom looked at Jude as he placed his hand over hers. Maybe she saw it too. "And what?"
Jude stayed silent, keeping her hand on Tom's face.
"You don't think I have?" He wanted to believe that he had. He'd been telling himself that for so long that he'd thought his brain had gotten the memo and that it had magically happened. But maybe that wasn't the case after all.
Jude shrugged, pulling her hand away from Tom's face. "I don't know. You tell me."
Tom sighed and placed his hands on his knees. "I feel like all I've been doing is try. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I don't know anymore." Tom rubbed his face with his hands. This wasn't how he thought this conversation was going to go.
Jude pulled her knees to her chest. "I think we're both lost. I wanted this to work so bad that I pushed and pushed and maybe that was the wrong thing all along."
Tom glanced at Jude, taking in the look on her face. He took her hands and pulled her close to him – she was almost sitting on his lap. She had always been right. He didn't need anyone else's opinion to know the truth. He could feel it in every fiber of his being. She was the one. But maybe they weren't right right now. Maybe their timing had been off. "I don't want you to think this was ever your fault. You did nothing wrong. It was always me – "
"But I wanted – " Tears began to pool at Jude's bottom lashes, threatening to pour over.
"No. You were always good. Always." He pulled Jude's face towards him, wiping the tears that had run down her cheeks. He kissed her softly and then pulled her face away so that their noses touched. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jude."
A/N: Preview
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Chapter 29
"Bright Futures"
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