Halo Combat Evolved Screwed Up Version

Chapter 11: Shitting On The Control Room

sup guys like i said this is chapter 5 and just to let you know if i'm going to make the halo screwed up series u need to give me some ideas of how to make it funny ok here we go

p.s. i got a review about someone saying that i copied a few lines from youtube...i asked those users permission and other users if i could put some of their lines on my book and they agreed so i didn't plagiarize, so there, problem solved :D

While they were on their way to the beginning part of the level, Chief kept saying to himself, "Who's your daddy, who's your daddy?"

He paused for a moment and yelled, "I AM!"

Then he thrusted his fist at the medal in the pelican.

Chief screamed like a little girl in pain.

Cortana laughed her ass off.

Chief was upset.

At that moment a grunt was walking around and hears a weird sound.

He's starts sniffing.

A pelican came up and freaked the grunt out.

While the grunt freaked out he yelled in the process, "HOLY SHIT!"

He ran off to get back up after when he said that.

Captian smith said, "This is as far as I can go."

Cortana replied, "Rodger that. We can find our was to the control center here."

Chief jumped out of the pelican and saw covenant and the grunt that just called back up.

Chief yelled, "OH MY GOD CAN I GET A BRAKE PLEASE!"

The director randomly said, "Cut."

5 minutes later.

The director said after everyone's break, "And action."

Then the covenant started firing at chief.

Chief killed them within two seconds.

Cortana said impressed, "Wow chief. Your getting better every level."

Chief yelled, "BITCH I'M TRYING TO CATCH MY BREATH!"

Then chief went through the door.

Later.

Chief entered a room that looked like the last 20 rooms.

Chief yelled, "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK, AND I WANT BBQ CHIPS!"

Cortana said, "Hey dumbass. There's the exit right there."

Chief got angry.

When the door opened it lead to the control room.

Cortana said shockingly, "Well...that was quick."

Chief nodded impressed with himself.

Chief walked toward the control station.

He was looking around until cortana said, "Try putting me in here."

Chief put her in the terminal.

Cortana got as tall as chief...sorta.

Chief replied, "Are you alright?"

Cortana replied in a happy/curious way, "Never been better. You can't imagine the wealth of information. Oh my God it's awesome."

Chief questioned, "What sort of weapon is it?"

Cortana questioned angerly, "What are you talking about?"

Chief said calmly trying to not get mad either, "Let's stay on the subject. Dahalo. How do we use it against the covenant?"

Cortana said angerly, "This ring isn't a weapon you fuckface. It's something else, something much more greater."

She continued, "The covenant were right. It's a Forrunner. Give me a second..."

Cortana is trying to find more information while chief was just standing there not even knowing what's going on or what cortana said.

She continued...again, "Yes, the forrunner built this place in order to...no wait that can't be."

Chief questioned, "Bitch, what are you trying to say?"

Cortana answered, "The covenant found something...something scary and now their afraid."

Chief questioned being confused as ever, "Something scary Wha..."

Cortana interupted while yelling, "THE CAPTIAN! WE GOT TO STOP THE CAPTIAN!"

Chief questioned, "Um Smith or Keys."

Cortana said in frustration, "Keys, dumbass! Smith likes calling himself captian because he says he's boss."

Chief answered in relief, "Ohhhhhhhhhhh."

Cortana said, "The weapon cache he's looking for...we can't let him get inside."

Chief said confused again, "I don't understand."

Cortana yelled, "THERE IS NO TIME! FIND KEYES AND STOP HIM! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

Chief ran off.