Chapter Two: The Leader and The Misleaders
Artemis and his two sons were in the front room. Domovoi was watching a football match which meant that anyone who wanted to be toasty warm in front of the wood burner had to watch it too. Alexander, who was so bored that he was actually dropping off to sleep, lay slumped on the opposite end of the sofa to Domovoi, hugging a toy cat.
Samantha was rummaging around in the attic, judging by the noises coming from upstairs. There were a few hidden items up there that Artemis was a little concerned about his nosy daughter finding, like Sylvian's stuff, old papers from his past misdeeds and the fairy weaponry from the Fowl Manor siege, but telling her to come down would mean submitting the best chair in the house to Domovoi, who was perched on the arm of the sofa as his brother was taking up a lot of it for such a small child, and walking out of the warm living room and while Artemis wasn't really to be deemed a lazy man, there were some days when you just couldn't be bothered.
Artemis couldn't really be bothered to talk to Minerva about her careless boy-friend who'd nearly got his kids killed and that was why he'd blocked her number from his phone, since she'd been ringing him relentlessly and Artemis was getting very familiar with the 'reject call' button after stupidly accepting one call just to tell her to please leave him alone and had ended up in a full scale argument with an angry French woman, which was the last place he wanted to be on a cold Sunday night.
"Domovoi, you can nudge Alexander along a little if you must. He's nearly asleep." Artemis told Domovoi after having to watch him sit uncomfortably on the sofa arm for almost an hour with the remote in one hand and his other self-consciously rubbing at his slightly swollen, obviously crooked nose.
Domovoi was nudging a mildly protesting Alexander along to the other end of the sofa when a hit squad of tiny policemen broke down the door.
You can imagine Artemis' surprise.
"What are you doing in my house, and why have you broken down the door?" Artemis demanded while Domovoi picked his jaw up of the carpet. Alexander was too sleepy to think much of the situation.
"You could simply have knocked."
"Never know what you mud men have waiting for us at the other side of a door," one officer muttered bitterly. "But here you are, defenceless, so we can calmly get on with the job in hand."
Artemis looked at the fairy spokes-man with narrowed eyes. "And what job would that be?"
Another of the five fairies pointed at the general direction of the sofa.
"The boy you have sitting there is only 25% human. The other part fairy. Being over 25% fairy means that for the safety of our people he has to go underground."
Domovoi jabbed himself in the chest. "Me?" he asked disbelievingly.
"No, no, don't be ridiculous. The other. Alexander." Said the fairy who had delivered the last speech, waving a dismissing hand at
Domovoi, who looked offended at the offhand manner at which he was regarded.
"How do you know my son is 25% fairy? I've never had him DNA tested." Artemis demanded suspiciously.
Fairy spokes-man number one looked guilty behind his visor. "Each one of your children had a series of discreet test carried out on them a few hours after birth while they slept by a shielded fairy. Actually, all four of your children are fairy, but the first two by such a tiny percent it makes almost no difference, and obviously, the fourth died, and Alexander seemed to get all of the gene without it being attacked by the human DNA before birth."
It had always disturbed Artemis a little how the fairies knew so much about his life, but in his opinion, this was a step too far.
"You DNA tested - among other procedures - my children when they were only a few hours old without so much as asking me first?"
"We couldn't be sure you'd grant permission!" objected the fairy.
"So you did it anyway? And now you've come to take my son away from me after two years? Why now?"
The fairy sighed, removing his helmet. The other four followed his lead. "You may as well sit back down, Mister Fowl, this could take some explaining."
As suggested, Artemis sat back down, running his long fingers through his black hair. The fairy took the only other chair in the room. "Yes, we always knew about the gene, and we knew you suspected, but we saw no reason to remove Alexander from his family, since he had no magic. He was not threatening our secrecy, yes, he might always be abnormally short, but nothing that would arouse suspicion. And when you and Miss Holly Short felt that the situation Alexander was in called for the drastic measure of giving him magic after Mr Foaly gave away classified information on his DNA, it did raise the danger level."
The fairy paused, watching Artemis over steepled fingers.
"You see how lenient (spelling?) we've been here, Mister Fowl? Do you see the danger your son puts us in? I'm sorry to say, Artemis, that the display of magic in a public, crowded place your son performed just over a month ago have sealed our decision. He has to come underground."
Domovoi glanced from the now fast asleep Alexander, to his father, to the fairy.
"What, we're never going to see him again?"
The fairy smiled, but to Domovoi, it didn't look entirely genuine.
"Don't be ridiculous, Master Fowl. Just until he is old enough to control his magic and understand the importance of keeping a low profile. Judging by his ageing rate, and that magical creatures age slower as they get older, I'd say about twenty years."
Artemis gave a harsh bark of a laugh that said, 'ha! But no.'
"Twenty years might seem tiny to you and Alex, but in twenty years time, I'll be fifty-seven. Twenty years is a big deal for humans, remember?"
The fairy gave another sympathetic fake smile. "Sorry, no can do, Fowl. Just be grateful it's in your lifetime."
Artemis felt the situation slipping through his fingers. This had been premeditated since his son was born. It was out of his hands.
One LEP officer took pity on Artemis. He watched the human as his blue eyes stared straight ahead, calculating outcomes.
"Does Alexander have anything he would take with him?" The ginger-haired elf asked, a little timid, breaking Artemis' trance.
Artemis sighed as he stood up. "I suppose," he mumbled, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder and shaking him gently in an attempt to wake him up. Alexander protested, sleep muttering and batting Artemis away with tiny hands until he lost the battle to remain unconscious.
Artemis felt Domovoi's gaze boring into the side of his skull and it took him a lot of effort to look at his eldest.
Domovoi looked massively out of his depth.
"Dad, are we coming? Me and Sam? You're not gonna leave us, right?" His blue eyes were round and terrified.
"I don't know how long I'll be gone, Dom. Not twenty years, I'll tell you that. And I'll bet a good amount of money that we'll be seeing
Alex again before that, but I don't want to tempt fait."
Domovoi nodded once, looking rejected, and turned back to his football game, but Artemis could tell he wasn't really seeing it.
"Dom, I'm sorry, but I can't be in two places at once."
Alexander was peering at his brother under his father's arm, looking curiously at Dom's sullen expression.
"Never mind…" Domovoi muttered, pulling up his knees and hugging himself without realising what he was doing. Pulling himself in like a hedgehog when threatened, but really, more like a cat, curling up in a lonely ball to keep the cold on the outside in an attempt to keep it's innocent heart warm.
"I love you Dom." Artemis said, as matter-of-factly as possible. Dom didn't look up.
"Okay," he replied dismissively in a tone that told Artemis he wasn't in the mood for girly talk. Or talk of any sort.
Artemis turned away and wrinkled up his nose against the prickling in the corners of his eyes, composed himself, and addressed Alexander.
"Alex, you know Holly, and how she is like you?"
Alexander's expression was blank. "Holly…?" He mumbled questioningly.
"The short red haired girl with the tanned skin who was talking to me on the computer video call a month ago." Artemis explained, a small sigh of relief whistling past his lips at the spark of comprehension in Alex's eyes.
"Well you are going to go where Holly lives for a while."
Alexander's look of confusion returned. "Holly… House?"
"No, not Holly's house, Holly's city. Like Dublin is a city."
Artemis' comparison was wasted on Alex, as Dublin could have been a pudding for all he knew, but he pretended to understand, allowing his father to lift him off the sofa and set him on the floor.
"I… How… When…" Alexander paused for a moment and tapped his chin with his middle finger which was quite comical for a child so small. He looked like an upright six month old speaking.
"Home?"
Alexander made a point to remember 'home.' It was proving a useful word.
"Yes, you'll be coming home," Artemis replied, knowing fine well that Alex was asking when he was coming home, not if, but was dodging the question on purpose. How was he supposed to explain twenty years to a boy who did not know the difference between an hour and a minute? Alexander frowned, but made himself content that he was not staying in this unknown place forever.
"Come and get some clothes to travel with before we go, okay?"
Alexander looked at him incredulously. "Now?" he asked, wide eyed.
"Yes, now, come on-"
Samantha bounded downstairs holding an armful of what looked to Artemis like guns.
Uh oh.
"Dad, look what I found up in the attic! Took me a while to crack the safe, though. These are LEP guns, right…"
Sam looked around her, at Alexander's bewildered expression, to the elves in full LEP uniform to her brother sulking in a huddle at the end of the sofa.
"What's going on?"
"We might ask you the same thing, young lady," growled one of the elves as the lot of them pulled out their own, considerably more updated guns, on their guard.
"I- nothing! I was just in the attic and I found a safe and these were in it and I was just wondering…"
Domovoi, not being able to stand not knowing what was going on much longer, raised his head to survey the situation and saw his sister holding an armful of fairy weaponry. He was accordingly speechless.
"Fowl. Why do you have LEP weaponry in your house? Doesn't that seem an unusual keepsake?" And elf hissed, still pointing his gun at Samantha.
"They're from the Fowl Manor siege!" Artemis blanched, knowing he was never going to get himself out of this one. "They're disabled, and were locked in a safe! I hardly had them on display!"
"Drop them," one elf shouted at Samantha, who allowed the guns to tumble from her arms and down the stairs, landing in a heap at Alexander's feet. Her brown eyes opened wide.
"Dad…?"
"Not now Sam."
Artemis felt two tiny but strong as iron hands grip his own and hold them tightly behind his back. He didn't resist. He knew what was happening.
"Artemis Fowl the Second, I'm arresting you under the illegal possession of fairy weaponry. Hold the hell still until I get you in the shuttle."
It wasn't the line Artemis was used to hearing, but it worked none the less. He watched, open mouthed as Alexander and Samantha were shackled as well as himself. Domovoi was putting up a pretty good fight. They boy could throw a punch when he wanted to.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he screeched at the two fairies attempting to pin his arms down. When they succeeded, he just used his feet instead. "If we wanted to kill someone with them we would have done it by now! And why are you arresting me!"
"Just shut up and lie still son, or I'll be forced to sedate you!" Domovoi was warned. He took little notice, and was swiftly mesmerised when he bit down on one of the restraining hands.
The fairies made a short job of leading the Fowl's out the house, after Artemis insisted that he lock his front door, the key was confiscated. Domovoi stumbled along silently, a prod in the back encouraging him every so often, his eyes blank.
Artemis felt two tiny but strong as iron hands grip his own and hold them tightly behind his back. He didn't resist. He knew what was happening.
"Artemis Fowl the Second, I'm arresting you under the illegal possession of fairy weaponry above ground. Hold the hell still until I get you in the shuttle."
It wasn't the line Artemis was used to hearing, but it worked none the less. He watched, open mouthed as Alexander and Samantha were shackled as well as himself. Domovoi was putting up a pretty good fight. They boy could throw a punch when he wanted to.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he screeched at the two fairies attempting to pin his arms down. When they succeeded, he just used his feet instead. "If we wanted to kill someone with them we would have done it by now! And why are you arresting me!"
"Just shut up and lie still son, or I'll be forced to sedate you!"
Domovoi was warned. He took little notice, and was swiftly mesmerised when he bit down on one of the restraining hands.
The fairies made a short job of leading the Fowl's out the house, after Artemis insisted that he lock his front door, the key was confiscated.
Domovoi stumbled along silently, a prod in the back encouraging him every so often, his eyes blank.
"Dad…" Samantha whispered as she was shoved into the back of the fairy shuttle. "Dad I really don't like this…"
Artemis looked at her sarcastically. "And I'm having the time of my life."
The compartment of the shuttle they were thrown unceremoniously into was grey walled, grey floored and grey ceiling-ed and had a huge, reinforced steely grey door.
Artemis felt his stomach flip. Everyone stood in silence until Alexander started to wail.
"Oh Alex, I'm sorry, but I'm not in the position to comfort you right now," Artemis sighed, shaking his handcuffs to prove his point.
Alexander paid no attention to his, dropped onto the floor, sat on his bottom and screamed.
Domovoi, who would usually have made a smart remark by now, stood in the corner, looking dopey and lifeless. When Holly had mesmerised Artemis, she had told him to think of something, usually something pleasant. But Domovoi had simply had his thoughts sucked out of his head and simply looked like a clone.
Bad ending, I know, sue me.
Hi guys! If you've been wondering why I've been so exclusive lately it's because a naughty site called Anime Freak has been eating up all my internet data! But 3 told me what was doing it, so now I am not going to use that site anymore!
But… While I have been away from the internet world… Several things have happened.
1) I did not update ATG… I have been slowly thinking up a story that is called Yellow Moon for FictionPress. Originally, it was gonna be a real life thing, but I've put a super-natural edge to it now, and this is gonna sound weird, but it makes it more believable. Anyway, check it out! My username is ClaudTheCat. (I haven't posted it yet)
2) My best buddy Thomas got an account. His username is Gytrash (don't ask me what the heck it means. Some myth he said. Whatever. He's all into Greek gods and myths and stuff. PM him about Percy Jackson. You'll end up co-writing the next book with him) Anyway, he's dead new, and I just wanted to introduce him to you so, say hi and play nice!
3) I read a book (among others) called 'I Think There's Something Wrong With Me' by Nigel Smith and it is so funny, seriously, go read it! It's got quite a lot of swearing in it and it's a bit rude. A true story basically about how he got this massive brain lesion and everybody basically pronounced him dead on the spot (besides his GP, who gave him 2 painkillers and sent him to bed. I'm not sure if you'll got that joke. I dunno if it's just British General Practitioners who are like that) and he survived. Just. But by God is he funny!
Anyway, I just want to say hello, specially to Wolfie (this is the secret code that means update/post whatever) Monique, Victoria, Thomas, you know? Just anybody who ever commented. Thanks.
Umm… I just got my new braces in and I cannot chew anything, so I dunno why I just went out and bought 6 packs of chewing gum, but whatever. Hope you enjoyed that bit, please check out Yellow Moon! Bye!