Halo Combat Evolved Screwed Up Version

Chapter 14: Two Retards

level 8, getting great, alright people next chapter starting... ... ... ... ...(randomly someone farted) ... ... ... ... ...now

Chief and Innocent Spark Plug teleported to the control room.

Chief was sort of shocked to see that he was back to the control room.

Innocent spark plug questioned, "Is something wrong."

Chief said shocked, "I think I just pissed my pants."

Innocent Spark plug replied, "Splended! Show we?"

Then spark went to the control pannel leaving chief just standing ther confused.

Chief forgot about it and when to the control pannel.

Spark handed the index to chief and he put it in the slot.

The pannel activated then randomly stopped.

Spark said with a confused face, "Odd that wasn't supposed to happen."

Cortana came out of nowhere and said, "Oooooooooh really?"

Then spark fell backwards.

Chief said angerly, "Hey bitch. He was trying to help us."

Cortana snapped back, "I spent the last 12 hours helping that thing get sent to slit our necks."

She continued, "Oh and I wasn't a pain in the ass I was trying to help you! You sack of shit."

Chief questioned to himself, "How did she know i said that."

Cortana answered, "Because somehow this ring allowed me to read everyone's minds."

Chief sighed, "That figures."

Spark said angerly, "A construct in the core that is absolutely unacceptable!"

Cortana yelled back, "FUCK OFF!"

Spark yelled, "I SHALL HURT YOU AT ONCE!"

Cortana questioned, "Are you sure thats a good idea?"

Spark yelled, "YOU ASSFACE GIVE BACK THE INDEX OR I'LL..."

Cortana interupted, "Do what, I have the index. You can just float and spudder."

Chief interupted the fight and said, "I think you both are annoying as hell so SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Chief turned to cortana and said, "The flood is spreading if we activate dahalo's defences, we can wipe their asses out."

Cortana explained to chief, "You have know idea how this ring works do you? Why the forrunners did it? Dahalo doesn't kill flood, it kills their food. Humans, covenant, whatever. We are all equaly able to be eaten. If you don't believe me, ask the floating dick."

Chief turned around and said, "Is it true."

Spark said impressed, "More or less. It has over one billion light years of pullse. You were with me every step of the way as we managed this crysis."

Cortana said shocked, "Chief I'm picking up movement!"

Spark continued, "Why do you hesitate to do what you already done?"

Cortana still in shock said, "We need to go right now!"

Randomly sentinals apeared behind spark.

Chief grabbed cortana out of the control pannel.

Spark threatened, "If you don't give me the construct, I will take it by force."

Cortana said scared, "Dumbass get us out of here."

Chief said to spark, "Fuck no. I am not giving cortana to you."

Spark said, "So be it. Save his head.

Dispose of the rest." Then spark teleported away leaving chief, cortana, and the sentinals to fight.

Cortana yelled, "LOOK OUT!"

Then sentinals yelled, "IMA FIRIN MA LAZER!"

Chief shot them, they died.

Chief said in relief, "That was easy."

Cortana said, "We can't let the floating fag activate dahalo. We have to stop him, we have destroy dahalo."

Cortana thought about it for a moment and said, "Acording to the available data, I believe causing a starship's fusion reactor going critical will do the job."

Chief was starting to get annoyed because cortana won't shut up.

She continued, "I'm going to search what's left of the covenant battle net to find the pillar of derp. If its still intact we can use it to destroy dahalo."

Chief snapped in an annoyed way, "Are you finished yet?!"

Cortana said in a evil grin, "Yes I am...for now."

Cortana started laughing.

Chief was getting pissed.

Chief went out of the control room and the hallway to outside.

Chief questioned to himself, "Wait a second. How am i outside when i'm supposed to be inside?"

Chief shrugged it off.

Cortana replied, "Okay we need to destroy the electromagnet pulse range."

Chief questioned, "Now how the hell am I supposed to find it?"

Cortana replied, "There are three of them and-"

Chief interupted loudly, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND ALL THREE?!"

Cortana replied and this time with alot of anger, "OH MY GOD! IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M GOING TO...um...(sigh)."

Chief had a smirk on his face then said, "Exactly."

Cortana forgetting that this conflict happened said, "I'm going to help you find it."

Chief replied in a good mood, "Okay."

50 minutes of hell later.

"Okay that is the last pulse thingy ma gingy."

Cortana said confused, "Um okay."

Chief said, "Let's get a ride to the captian."

Cortana said, "No that will take too long."

Chief replied, "You have a better idea? Which you usually do."

Cortana explained, "There is a telepotation grid that runs on this ring. I think we should do it."

Chief said, "Okay if you mess up, I will destroy your stupid chip."

Cortana said in a sort of scared way, "Okay."

Then they teleported away.

lol review please