Halo Combat Evolved Screwed Up Version

Chapter 15: The Homosexual Keyes

level 9, doing fine, the reason why i called keyes a homosexual is because well a marine called him a homosexual and two captian keys sucks because he talks alot...lets get this party started

p.s. you need to read my announcements because one of them is important

Cortana started talking to chief, "The covenant network is absolute chaos.

From what I heard, their leadership ordered their ships to abandon dahalo when they found the flood, but they were too late."

The scene shows that the false and retardination is badly damaged.

Cortana continued, "The flood overwhelmed the cruser bruser. The covenant are terrified that the flood will repair the ship and leave."

Cortana was shocked to see who was back on the ship.

"I found captian keyes! HE'S ALIVE! The implants are intact."

Chief questioned, "Are we done teleporting yet?"

Cortana replied, "I'm bringing you as close to the captian as I can."

Chief teleported in the ship.

He looked around and he realized he was upside down.

He fell and cortana laughed her sexy ass off.

Chief yelled, "OW BITCH!"

Chief got up and looked around some more while walking.

Captian keyes called chief on the radio and he sounded like he was in pain, "Chief...don't be a rapist...leave me."

Cortana said shocked, "Captian? CAPTIAN?!"

She sighed, "I lost him."

Chief said to cortana, "I am not a rapist and i think keys is faking that he's in pain."

Cortana said shocked, "He is in pain because i checked his vitals, and you don't care about anyone, do you?"

Chief said, "I can't believe you didn't figure that out before we landed on dahalo."

Cortana said, "I thought you were a stubbern kind of guy."

Chief got angery and said, "Dumbass."

"Fucktard." said cortana angerly.

Randomly chief wasn't looking where he was going and fell through a big hole.

Chief yelled while falling, "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-! (splash)"

Cortana said sarcasticly, "Wow good job."

Chief got angery and said, "Shut up."

Cortana said, "Alright. Whatever. Let's find a way back aboard the ship."

3 hours later.

They made it to the gravity lift.

Cotana said shocked, "There is the gravity lift...it's still operational!"

Chief got on and they made it back inside the cruzer bruzer.

More hours later because the writer is too lazy to tell you what happends next.

They made it to the shuttle bay.

Chief noticed alot of elites.

He killed them with a snap of a finger.

Keyes got angery at chief and said over the radio, "I told you pull out!"

Cortana said shocked...again, "Chief we got to help keyes!"

Chief yelled, "BITCH I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!"

Chief made it on the third floor.

He kept fighting until he heard keyes again yelling, "Oh yeah. OH YEAH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cortana yelled, "CHIEF! HIS VITALS ARE FADING PLEASE CHIEF HURRY!"

Chief said confused, "Why did keyes sounded like he was fucking something?"

Cortana yelled, "NO TIME HELP HIM NOW!"

Chief got angry again and said, "I'M ALREADY HERE RETARD!"

Cortana said reliefed, "Oh."

Chief walked up and saw keyes dead in a egg sack.

Chief noticed that keyes was fucking a marine before he died.

Chief said disgusted, "Ewww."

Chief saw something on keyes face and he punched it in.

He grabbed out a chip and put it in his head.

Cortana said, "Wait. Stop. I have the code we should get moving."

They made it back to the shuttle bay.

Two banshees flew in and elites came out.

They turned to chief and started shooting at chief.

Chief ran to the banshee and drove off.

end of level 9 yaaaaaaaaay