Halo Combat Evolved Screwed Up Version

Chapter 16: The Mall

final level 10 and i'm calling ben...lol here we go

The scene shows the crashed pillar of derp while the theme song called "the maw" kept playing.

Chief was getting annoyed and yelled to the random people singing, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Then they stopped.

Chief was driving toward the ship until the banshee was starting to fell apart.

Cortana yelled, "THIS THING IS FALLING APART!"

Chief got annoyed and said, "You really need to listen to the narrator."

Cortana said shockingly, "You are not supposed to tell the readers that."

Chief crashed landed and made it to the bridge.

Chief put cortana in the pannel beside the big screen.

Cortana said in a upset kind of way, "I leave home for a few days and look what happend.

Give me a second." Chief looked up and the screen showed a countdown.

Cortana said, "There. That should put us distance between us and the ring."

Spark interupted about what's going on, "I'm afraid that's out of the question."

Cortana said angerly, "Oh hell."

Spark said, "You have an A.I. who has such a wealth of knowlage. Do you want to be captured or destroyed?"

Cortana said in relief, "It's alright. He's not really here."

Chief replied, "Good because I was going to kick his floating ass."

Chief took cortana out of the pannel and they went to the engine room to blow up the engines.

Roughly 30 minutes later.

Chief made it to the engine room.

Cortana replied, "We made it. Now we need to destroy the engines. Press the L button to throw the granade."

Chief yelled, "BITCH THIS ISN'T A VIDEO GAME!"

Cortana replied, "Yes it is because somehow you took over someones xbox and now you control the xbox."

Chief replied, "Okay."

Then he yelled to the person who was playing the game, "TAKE THAT YOU BITCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Chief blew up all the engines.

Cortana said, "Okay lets get the hell out of here."

Chief went to a whole bunch of doors and he found a elevator.

The elevator went up while cortana was calling captian smith, "Cortana to smith. Do you read me?"

Smith replied happly, "Rodger I read you 5 by 5."

Cortana said, "Pick us up when we make it out into the open."

Smith said, "Okay."

The elevator made it to the top.

Cortana said to chief, "We have to 5 minutes to get out of here. We need to move now! Activating countdown timer. When it reaches zero, the engines will detonate."

Chief grabbed a worthog and drove to the open.

Chief saw smith crashed and chief laughed and said, "What a moron."

Chief went on and found a fighter jet.

He got on while flood chasing him.

Thankfully he closed the hatch in time.

Then he drove off.

Then the scene changes where johnson was fighting with an elite.

Johnson turned to the derp and so did the elite.

An explosion came from the derp.

Johnson turned to the elite and said, "This is it baby. Hold me."

Then the elite grabbed johnson and touched his ass.

Johnson killed the elite and walked off.

Chief was in space when dahalo exploded.

Chief said, "Ohhhh pretty fireworks."

Cortana cheered, "Yay it's over!"

Chief said angerly, "No, I think we are just getting started ho."

He took off his helmet and cortana screamed.

"Okay, okay i'll put it back on" ,said chief.

thanks for reading mah books and this one was the best that I made so far...ok halo 2 screwed up version is coming soon :DDDDD