I'm going ahead and changing the rating to M, since some situations that can be classified as mature are coming up.

I also want to thank Wildharp for Beta-ing. Thanks, buddy!

Chapter Seven

The walls began to close in and all he could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears. The racing of his pulse caused his body to shake, threatening his grasp on the counter of the bathroom sink. Every muscle in his body began to tense and he could feel his mind begin to spin.

Peeta hunched his shoulders forward, the action causing the stress in his muscles to echo a popping sound. Strands of blond bangs fell in front of his face filling the empty space there, as a few pieces clung to the sweat rolling down from his forehead.

He felt ill and he could sense the burning brunt of bile rising up his throat. It had been years since he had vomited after an appointment.

It had been when he was only fifteen, after the first time he had to meet a client. He could still remember how his skin stung from the contact, his skin having an adverse reaction to her body dye. His body felt raw, but even the pain couldn't distract him from the emptiness he had felt. It seemed to threaten to swallow him whole.

Something had been taken from him, granted he had known the conditions before he agreed, but he hadn't realized how broken he would have been over the consequences.

He had been a virgin, never knowing the feel of a woman's body against his or how sweat could make a sound when skin collided. Before he had only known the feel of cracked but soft genuine lips against his.

What he had experienced in the cold room of the orphanage with the gray eyed girl with heavy dark curls, had been pure, it had been love seen through childish eyes.

So in the bathroom of a room he felt small in with its silk sheets and marbled floors, fifteen year old Peeta Mellark, vomited onto the floor. After wards when all of his energy had left him he collapsed against the wall, his still gangly limbs sprawled out against the now filthy marble stones.

Through the years he had trained himself how to react after the deed had been done, perversely it had actually become easy for him to turn himself off, to become what the client needed.

His true self was tucked away behind lies and deception, but it was comforting to know he never had to be himself with these women, because in truth that's not what they wanted.

They lusted after the district born companion, who could work the calloused pads of his fingers up their bodies, who could make them squirm and writhe with anticipation.

They wanted the fantasy which had been constructed, he was the forbidden fruit, everything they could indulge in. For them he wasn't the charming young man who enjoyed painting, or lying beneath the trees, as he dug his toes into the cool dirt.

Peeta had to bury that version of himself deeper each time, and for the longest time he didn't notice its absence until the girl with the grey eyes and dark curls came back into his life, and he wanted to curse her for making him realize how inhuman he had become.

He had reveled in the bliss of his ignorance and to finally be aware of his circumstance was suffocating him.

After they had vacated the train which had carried them into the Capitol from district twelve, Peeta had been overly cautious, as he kept Katniss close to him.

The situation from the Capitol Ball was still a popular topic within the social circles of the Capitol, and he didn't want any harm to come to her from the fallout. She had humored him and contradicting her defiant nature she abided his want. As they walked down the main square towards the hotel where they would be staying, it was hard having her so close and not taking her hand in his.

To do so would be dire, since all eyes were on them, and Katniss who had been introduced to polite society for only a few short weeks was already a hot button of conversation, to add fuel to the flame would only endanger her.

They had gotten lucky when she had assaulted someone disliked by the general public, but if it appeared that she was intimately involved with a companion then the consequences would be fatal.

Even without holding onto her, Peeta could feel her arms shaking from the anxiety. Their proximity was close enough for her body to innocently touch his, and he could feel the slight vibration coming off of her.

She had lowered her head as they walked through the city and he could almost see her shrinking. Without thinking Peeta reached out, with his closest hand to her, folding his fingers over her bare forearm slowly before giving it a reassuring squeeze.

The sudden contact caused Katniss to abruptly stop, which in effect caused the long coat she was wearing to catch underneath her heels. Her body proceeded to hurl itself onto the ground, gravity dragging her down. On instinct Peeta swung his body in front of her, holding onto her biceps to brace himself and hold her up as she came crashing into his chest.

A mass of flailing limbs and dark curls, a few strands caught on the moisture on Peeta's lips, hurled into him. Peeta held onto her as she righted her footing, kicking the troublesome coat from underneath her feet.

Katniss' hands now spanned across his chest, the tips of her fingers lightly wrinkled his button down shirt, as she looked up into his face. Her dark curls framed her face and Peeta could feel the air restrict in his lungs, the grip he had on her arms tighten.

Katniss lowered her hands, backing up from him, but he still had a hold of her. He noticed as she looked around them her face becoming pale, her gray eyes wide. Peeta followed her line of sight to see that in the chaos of the night life of the Capitol, a few spectators had gathered to watch their interaction.

Peeta's reaction to release her arms was longer than it should have been as he lowered his arms. He could feel the blush forming at his cheeks, before he turned around explain how clumsy one hand maiden could be.

Most just nodded and rolled their eyes at the young girl, but a few eyed the younger pair before carry on with their business. When the small crowd had dispersed Peeta turned back to Katniss who was watching him closely, he swallowed hard before smiling softly.

Peeta extended his hand in front of him to suggest they carry on, Katniss nodded mutely as they entered the lobby to the hotel.

Peeta was careful to keep his distance from her, unlike the street there would be numerous eyes following their every move, waiting to report back to curious benefactors. The walk to the elevators was straight forward, as Katniss kept her focus in front of her.

Most hand maidens during their first outing for business were enthralled with all of the lighting and extravagances around them, but Katniss seemed unimpressed, which was something Peeta had to admit made him respect her even more.

The ride up to the room was cramped and nerve wracking, the metal box held only he and Katniss but the closer they got to the room he could feel the tension thickening.

She kept her head down, never looking his way, and Peeta couldn't help the slight heartbreak he felt from not having her voluntarily watch him. After the doors opened allowing Peeta to breath something more than recycled air, he escorted Katniss down to the suite which was always reserved for him when he had business.

Katniss sighed deeply as she stepped into the room, rich gold tapestries hung from the walls, and heavy curtains to match blended into dark blue walls.

Peeta helped her with her things to the bedroom she would be using. The room connected to a lounge for entertaining, as the rooms were separated by an executive bathroom which was larger than the first floor of Peeta's home.

Katniss had inquired as to why one person would need a bathroom so large for only themselves, Peeta had become flushed when he quietly explained to her that the bathroom was usually used for entertaining more than as bathrooms, and at times the number in attendance would become quite large.

Katniss simply nodded before busying herself with pulling out the clothes she had packed. Peeta explained that they may not stay long enough for her unpacking to be necessary but Katniss assured him that busy work helped her. He nodded before excusing himself. He was wanted across the hotel, where he would be meeting the client.

Katniss had given him all the required information on the train ride in after she had talked over the particulars with Effie. Peeta was half way down the hallway, when Katniss ran from the room, her feet now bare after shedding her coat and heels.

She wore a tailored blue dress which held onto curves she had recently acquired as her eating habits improved. Her dark hair ran down her back, and it flew behind her as she attempted to catch up with him. She was a few feet from him when he looked around them, trying to watch out for any prying eyes.

"You shouldn't be out of the room. It isn't safe."

Katniss breathed in deeply trying to catch her breath," You don't have to warn me I know. And I have to admit being back in this city isn't something I'm at ease with. Seeing as I don't have the fondest memories associated with this place," she reached down fiddling with the hem of her dress," I just wanted to wish you luck or," Katniss scrunched up her face and Peeta had to admit he found her even more attractive when she became nervous," I don't know, just… I'll-"

Peeta smiled softly as he cut her off," I'll see you when I get back."

Katniss returned his smile, but her eyes were heavy," Yes."

Peeta motioned back to the room Katniss' eyes followed," You better get back," he shuffled his feet," I shouldn't be long."

Katniss looked at the room before turning back to him," Peeta?"

"Yes?"

He wasn't aware of her arms around his neck until the brunt force of her body colliding with his registered in his mind. Her dark hair now covered most of his face as Peeta turned his neck to the side to breathe in her scent.

And then as quickly as it had happened, she tore her body from his grasp, running down the secluded hall back to where their room lied.

He had walked to the client's room in a daze, he could still feel her body pressed to his, and he was amazed by how much at peace he truly felt when having her close.

There were times before when he couldn't turn his mind off and all he could think of was how she could never be his, not really, and during the last few days when he had been so angry with her but more so with himself, having her close was torture, absolutely painful, but in that moment when she had embraced him, it was pure, he felt at ease.

Peeta was still piecing together every sensation of having her close, the smell of her hair, the feel of her petite body fitting to his, when the door opened revealing his client. Peeta would like to admit he was shocked when she opened the door in nothing but lace panties, but there was little to do with the Capitol and their actions that would send him into a tail spin.

Her body was dyed lilac to match her straight hair which rested against her side, momentarily covering most of her right breast. Peeta couldn't help but compare how her appearance contrasted with that of Katniss'.

Where the woman seductively leaned to the side while running her free hand down her bare body to only catch her long nails in the lace of her underwear, Katniss would most likely have already tripped over her own feet while trying to seem sexy.

And curls forming out of dark silken tresses haunted his mind not artificial coloring from a bottle.

Peeta hadn't noticed how long he had been gawking at the woman until she stood up straight huffing in annoyance. He had been so lost in thought of Katniss, he had lost track of time and his duties. Snapping back into reality, he rushed up to her pressing his body into her bare one.

She jumps up wrapping her legs around his waist, almost knocking him back into the still opened door.

Peeta kicked the door closed as he walked their two bodies over to a silk sofa located in the center room. For the most part, even in the Capitol, his clients want to try to woo him, as if it's needed to ease their dwindling conscience.

Peeta always understood that they thought they were giving him a choice, when in reality there wasn't a choice. The they wouldn't have to worry about feeling indebted to someone ,they were in reality sexually abusing. But the woman pressed up against him who had already begun to lick the bare skin of his neck, didn't seem to be plagued by any such guilt.

Peeta was a play thing to her, and in some respect he almost felt thankful that she didn't try to put up the charade as if this was a normal date. He tried to deposit her on the sofa but she held onto his hips with her slender legs tightly, Peeta sighed as their bodies fell on the furniture.

His head hit the side of the sofa as she slid from underneath him, slightly kicking his body to the side. He was grateful for the space until she scooted back towards him, closing the space between their bodies. She stuck out her tongue to place a small off white pill into her mouth, closing her eyes in indulgence as it melted on her tongue mixing with her saliva.

Peeta felt sick to his stomach, he recognized the type of narcotic, having taken it before, he was sixteen and he spent the next six hours convinced mutts with blood soaked fangs were hunting him down as the client bore down onto his lap, mulling and moaning in pleasure as the young boy beneath her cringed in fear.

Peeta felt the bile rise up as she held out a pill for him, he knew refusing wasn't an option. You never refused anything the client wanted from you, and besides he was already on thin standing with the officials of the Capitol. However, he knew the repercussions were sure to affect Katniss more than himself, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her.

So with a steady hand, Peeta brought her hand close to his mouth, before forming his lips over her finger, the pill dropping onto his tongue.

He closed his eyes willing his fear to lessen as he heard her moan in agreement. His eyes were still close when she began to tear at his clothes, everything became a blur as clothing was thrown aside and skin met skin.

Peeta slammed his hands against the sink, as his head swam, he could feel the effects of the drug wearing off, but he wasn't clear of the side effects yet. His entire body had heat up and he felt as though the fabric of his clothes were burning him.

With unsteady hands he hastily tore his shirt open, a few buttons ricocheted off of the counter to land beside his bare feet. He could feel the cool air from the circulation vent blowing onto his skin. In a panic he undid the latch of his pants before sliding the zipper down.

He could feel his heart race and he wanted nothing more than to be free of the binding, heated fabric, but in his haste his feet caught in the hem of his pants sending his face forward. Peeta's face collided with the sink, the molding was unrelenting as his skull collided with it, causing a horrible sound.

Peeta fell to his knees clutching his head as the pain throbbed form his forehead. He had left his underwear on, and as he half way laid on the tile flooring he could feel his body heat lowering.

He began to tear at his skin as the pulsating pain from his fall lessened. He didn't feel at home in this skin, he needed to peel it away and uncover the man he was supposed to be, the man he could have been if he had stayed on the street.

If he had stayed with the gray eyed girl, the one he had asked to kiss so long ago. In his manic state Peeta can feel every cell in his body heat up, every dip of his shoulders, the feel of his polished skin, the absence of scars he accumulated before becoming a companion.

It isn't until he comes to the top of shoulders when he discovers deep long scratches beginning at the top to travel down below his shoulder blades.

The deep grooves seem to bring his mind to the forefront when he remembers how she had clawed at him as she climaxed, he had cried out in pain while still in the haze of the drug. She had only laughed in pleasure, the air heavy with sweat and sex.

Peeta had swallowed, his throat dry and raw from breathing in through his mouth. He had closed his eyes willing his mind to carry him through even though the drug had full control of his functions.

When he had opened his eyes, he couldn't hold back the gasp from escaping his lips when he saw dark curls falling onto his bare chest. Olive skin stretched over her bare chest and Peeta had to refrain from gulping when her small but firm breasts came into view. The sharp curve of her hips pressed into his as she lowered her body onto his.

Peeta lifted her head, his hands going behind her ears to bury his fingers in her dark hair. The curls were now drawn back and he could see her deep gray eyes, the eyes which held every comfort he had been searching for. The eyes he had been mesmerized by in a dark room located in a cold orphanage so long ago.

Peeta watched her for the longest time holding her face up as she stilled her actions, their bodies still joined.

"You are so beautiful."

"You really think so?"

Peeta nodded, his eyes beginning to fill with tears," I always have."

Peeta closed his eyes as she proceeded to bear down onto him, he knew in reality he wasn't on the sofa with Katniss, she wasn't the one he was joined with. Sex wasn't a part of their arrangement but he reasoned with himself, if the people of the Capitol could use him for their own devices than he could form his own reality for the time being.

He could imagine the woman above him was the only woman he wanted to share this with, and not just sex but a connection.

The hallucinogenic only helped the process as he opened his eyes to see Katniss smiling back at him, he brought her face forward so her mouth could join with his, their tongues pressing up against the other's. It hadn't been long until the vision of Katniss had faded and the sight of the woman dyed in lilac came into view, her skin was drenched with sweat, and her make up had run, forming black lines of smeared application.

He had left in silence after she had decided she needed to shower in peace, giving the drug a chance to wear off before she joined her husband at home. Peeta located his clothing as she left the room, he had dressed quickly before making his way back to their suite. It hadn't been an easy feat in his condition but he had made it back, walking directly to the bathroom, where he now kneeled on the floor nearly naked and broken.

With wobbly legs Peeta pulled himself off of the ground, his nails digging into the lip of the sink. His back ached and he began to feel more sensation in his lower extremities. The drug was wearing off in time, and he hoped he would be able to sleep soon.

He cleared his throat before turning the facet on, a wide stream of water rushed out, his tongue stung with want. Peeta glanced up for a second to catch a glimpse of his appearance but what he saw made his stomach lurch.

He wasn't seeing the man he was now, but a boy with softer features which he hadn't yet grown into it. His hair was longer, curling at the ends and his blue eyes were still full of life in face of the hard ships he had gone through. Peeta didn't feel the glass slicing through his palm until he noticed the lines of blood falling down the shattered mirror. He held his hand flat against the glass as his appearance changed into the broken man he now was.

She could feel the tight embrace his arms had over her waist before she opened her eyes. She vaguely remembered how he had come into the room closing the door quietly before laying his body flat on the concrete floor, mirroring her pose. One of the house mother's had caught her trying to smuggle food to one of the younger girls. She hadn't expected the blow against both sides of her face, it almost didn't seem real until the older woman cupped her hands again to strike her another three times. She had crumpled to the floor, the beating a haze of flailing limbs and venom.

One of the older boys had been instructed to take her back to the room she frequented on a regular basis. He had thrown her broken body onto the floor, and she waited until the boy who came in the night would by her side. He came with stories, and sometimes there were kisses, but he was always there with a rare kindness which seemed to glow from the inside.

At first she had thought he was a part of the dreams she lost herself in, convinced all of the trauma had caused her to lose her hold on reality. He was the prince from his stories who would slay dragons and embark on great adventures filled with danger, just so he could make it back to her.

She sighed deeply, which caused her to wince, her body was still sore and she could feel the bruises and swelling rising from her face. She could only imagine what the welts looked liked forming over her olive skin. She could feel him breathing behind her, he made her feel warm, which puzzled her since the room was cold, the concrete floor freezing.

She could feel his phantom touches from when he had stroked her face gently, apologizing for not protecting her. His blue eyes held so much pain, and she was curious as to why he sometimes looked at her in a certain way. And then her train of thought would send her to that day almost a year ago when he had asked to kiss her.

She hadn't understood the implications of such a request until recently, when his shaggy blond hair would fall into his eyes, a grin formed at his lips and she would feel her stomach tighten. She would sometimes over hear the older girls in the orphanage talking about certain activities they would engage in with the older boys, but it only confused her more. She could never imagine doing such lude things with her blue eyed prince, but she had to admit that when his lips brushed against hers she would feel an intense warmth traveling up her body.

She wondered if love gave you a fever like when you were ill, she had to admit that the girls in the home who claimed to be in love seemed silly and delirious so maybe being in love was like being sick. She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of vomiting just because you thought a boy was cute. She was still contemplating the oddities of love when his tight embrace around her waist loosened.

The light had begun to filter through and she knew he would have to leave soon. Gently she turned into him, her body ached and she gritted her teeth to stop the moan clawing up her throat. His eyes were already open when she met his gaze.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A bit."

"You shouldn't have tried to take the food on your own. I would have snuck in some extra at night."

"I wanted to."

The blonde boy nodded as he reached up to her dark hair moving the curls back," I know, but I'm sometimes afraid your defiant nature will get you more than a beating."

She watched him as his eyes roamed around her face gingerly touching each bruise," Do you ever think you'll be married?"

His fingers stilled and he locked onto her eyes," Only if I love her."

The girl began to cry as she balled her fists into the fabric of his worn shirt," But I don't want you to be sick!"

The boy laughed out loud as he raised a brow," What?"

The girl sniffled," When you're in love it's like being ill. It makes you act funny and your stomach becomes achy, and every part of you becomes warm."

"You feel those things because you're happy and excited not because you're sick."

The girl nodded as she sniffed again," Oh. Do you think you could marry me?"

The boy almost choked on his breath as he sputtered a reply," What…I…um…sure. But why do you want to marry me?"

"Because you're my friend and you make me happy when you tell me stories and I'm always excited when you come to visit."

The boy's smile fell for a second before he regained his composure," You make me happy too."

Katniss ' eyes flew open as she clutched the pillow beneath her head. Sweat flooded her face as her entire body felt warm. She kicked free of the restricting silk sheets, as she stretched her body over the bed, her left leg hanging over the side.

The dream was still at the forefront of her mind when she fully regained consciousness. She hadn't thought of the boy from the orphanage in so long, and when she had it was never as clear as it had just been. Perhaps it was more of a memory than a dream, and a part of her mind was slowly healing itself.

Katniss bent her left leg at the knee to right herself back onto the bed when the thud of her book hitting the floor caught her attention. She sighed in defeat as she reluctantly sat up, swinging her legs over the side, to stretch her arm out to retrieve the book.

The spine was beginning to break and she dreaded the day she wouldn't be able to carry it around as much. Although since arriving in twelve she hadn't needed it as frequently as she would have assumed.

It had become her way to lose herself in something that didn't remind her of her reality, it had given her security. But she had formed relationships in twelve, met people who made her feel almost normal. The book with its tales of dragons and handsome princes was pushed back in her mind.

It wasn't until Peeta had told her they would be traveling to the Capitol, that she felt her anxieties rising, and the book was needed once again. Her fingers curled around the spine careful not to further damage it as she lifted it to her chest pressing it there.

Katniss closed her eyes listening only to the sounds of her breathing, her nails pressing into the old leather of the book. Her body began to relax from any excitement the dream might have caused her, and she could feel exhaustion settling into her joints.

The room had become still even with the Capitol still in celebration outside her window.

So, it wasn't a surprise to her that she was startled when the breaking of glass rung out into the air, the book dropping from her hands. The sound was eerie in the silent suite and Katniss felt her pulse race. She stood up, stepping over the book which now lied back onto the floor, to make her way over to the door which revealed the bathroom.

She reached out pushing the door open, expecting to find Peeta had knocked over one of the many hideous vases which littered the counters. Katniss had to admit she had been tempted to do so, but she reasoned against it, she didn't need to give the Capitol another reason to loathe her.

When she stepped into the room she tried to repress the gasp escaping her lips as the man she had come to know as stable, yes he could be vague in his feelings towards her, was now hunched down on the floor holding his hand. Blood was running down his wrist to drip onto the tiled floor beneath him.

He was undressed with only his underwear on, the silk of his boxers clinging to his sweat covered skin, and his back was red with welts which resembled scratches spanning down his back.

This version of Peeta was in complete contrast to what she had come to expect and she had to hold back the tears threatening to fall. She stood there frozen for the longest time before she shook herself out of her stupor, rushing over to him.

He jumped slightly when she gently placed her hands onto his bare shoulders. She leaned into him enough to survey the damage done to his hand, her dark curls falling over his forearm, before running her fingers down the tears at his back marring up his fair skin. Katniss had to repress a choking sob from exiting her throat as she surveyed his battered body.

Peeta began to rock back and forth, his body beginning to shake violently, the heels and pads of his bare feet increasing their pressure onto the floor.

His voice was small and almost frail," I shouldn't have left you."

Katniss pushed his hair off of his forehead as she gently stroked his face," Don't worry about that you didn't have a choice."

Peeta shook his head," No I did, I should have never said yes. I should have stayed with you."

Peeta's rocking intensified as Katniss tried to calm him," Shhh. It's okay."

"I was weak-"

Katniss placed her fingers on his lips stopping his speech," That doesn't matter right now. What matters is getting you cleaned up."

Peeta nodded as Katniss maneuvered in front him, taking both of his shoulders. Gently, but with the needed force she sat him down on the bathroom tile. His body was easily pliable and she worried at how easy it was to manipulate his movements.

Katniss balanced herself on her toes as she studied his face, he was still shaking but not as profusely, he was incredibly pale making the dark circles around his blue eyes visible.

He made eye contact with her, but his look was far off and Katniss had to ignore the nauseous feeling in her stomach. She reached up slowly, careful not to startle him, her fingers working through his blond bangs. His hair was drenched with sweat, Katniss twirled the strands around her fingers as she searched his face.

She could see him wince, reminding her of his injured hand. She felt foolish for losing time while consoling him, he needed his wounds taken care of, not an emotional girl fawning over him. Katniss unwound her fingers from his hair to place her hand just below where the blood pool was forming.

"We really need to bandage this. Let me see if I can find an aide kit, surely they have bandages and antiseptic."

Katniss stood up to walk over to the cabinets located around the sink. Her face dropped when all that seemed to be present was oils, soaps, and certain devices which any savory person would never condone using.

She could feel her anger rising, frustrated over the basic needs not being accounted for, but Katniss had to remind herself that in the Capitol self indulgence, not being practical, was favored.

Katniss glanced over to Peeta who had begun to shake again, causing tiny droplets of blood to land up his arm. She gritted her teeth as she ran over to the wet bar near the shower, she had to stop from rolling her eyes at how ludicrous it was to have a bar in a bathroom.

The clear bottle of alcohol caught her eye, she picked it up by the neck shaking it lightly as she surveyed the contents.

"This should work," she murmured to herself.

A stack of white pressed cloths sat behind the bottles of liquor, Katniss picked up a few, hoping to use the fabric as bandages. She rushed over to Peeta placing the items down before she ran to the sink, she looked around the counter for a sort of basin to use, a silver bowl filled with soaps caught her eye. Her eyes travelled up to the broken mirror, the cracks in the glass distorting her reflection.

Blood had already dried in the cracks of the glass. Katniss shook her head trying to clear her mind as she tossed the soaps to the side, and she filled the silver bowl full of cool water. Katniss was careful not to drop the water, as she navigated around the collection of blood on the floor.

The room was eerily quiet with only the sound of Peeta's labored breathing, as her heart raced. Katniss threw her head to side trying to manage her curls to her back, as she dipped the cloths into the water, before bringing the wet fabric to his hand. He cringed watching his hand intently, Katniss uncapped the liquor bottle quickly before pouring a generous amount of the contents onto his wound.

He hissed and attempted to pull away but Katniss lightly slapped away his other hand as he tried to push her away. It wasn't long before the wound path was clear of blood and Katniss could survey the cut.

The skin on his palm had already puckered from the blood coating it for an extended amount of time. The wound wasn't as deep as she would have assumed, which meant luckily he wouldn't need to have stitches. She moved her fingers over the wound, before she reached for the cloth.

Katniss glanced up to his eyes before she lowered her gaze again," Do you know what you took?"

Peeta nodded before his voice cracked," Mescaline. It was mescaline."

Katniss shook her head, she was aware of the popular street drug. She had known a few street kids who would indulge in the vivid hallucinations the drug would bring.

Katniss kept her eyes averted ,"And it was given to you because it lowers inhibitions. Have the hallucinations lessened?"

His body began to shake again as she moved the edge of the cloth to her mouth. With little effort Katniss, used her teeth to start a tear in the fabric, before she lowered the cloth from her mouth tearing it in strips. It wouldn't be the most sophisticated bandage but it would be usable.

Peeta kept his eyes on something in the back ground as Katniss proceeded to wrap the torn cloth around his hand,"Yes, I'm feeling a little more like myself."

Katniss glanced up towards his face as her hands tightly formed the bandage to his hand, "You're going to feel awful after it wears off."

Peeta lifted his free hand to rub at the side of his face, "I know, I've dealt with it before. You give the client what they want, right?"

Katniss kept silent as she gritted her teeth, she could feel her pulse rise as she thought of how much Peeta had been victimized. She had a general knowledge of what a companion was expected to do but it never really occurred to her how horrible it really was until she saw Peeta with his shoulders hunched and his complexion pale.

She looked up to a vacant expression in his usually bright blue eyes, her stomach tightened as she felt a sense of grief.

After she tied the ends of the cloth together to secure the bandage, Katniss settled on her knees, her hands going back to his shoulders to bend him forward.

She had remembered the red markings on his back from before and she wanted to ensure that an infection couldn't take root. He was once again too easy to manipulate as the top of his head rested against her chest.

She shivered slightly from the contact, she had forgotten about her state of dress. She had entered the bathroom in her nightgown which had a low neckline, and his hair which was soaked wet from his sweat, chilled her flushed chest.

Katniss pushed the sensations back in her mind, as she inspected his back. Long scratches, most being only shallow, covered his bare back.

A few had already begun to heal but she spotted at least two in which the skin around the wound had begun to swell. Her chest rose and fell with his breathing as he pressed his head into her, bracing himself with her stability.

It was hard for her not to become lost in his proximity, but she knew that she was the only one at the moment who could help him, and she needed to keep her attention on the task at hand.

Katniss reached over to her side for a wet cloth, which she knew to be soaked in the liquor she had used before. He moaned deeply as the alcohol met the scratches but he soon fell back into his steady breathing. Katniss was almost done with his back when she could hear him murmuring something below her.

Katniss raised an eyebrow," What was that?"

Peeta lifted his head his breath heating the cool bare skin of her chest, before she sat down in front of him. Peeta straightened his back, soaked blond bangs hanging in his eye line.

Peeta swallowed," I'm broken aren't I?"

Katniss shook her head, as she reached her hand up to his bangs scooting the strands from in front of his eyes," Peeta-"

Peeta kept his eyes averted from hers," It's true I am-"

Katniss continued to smooth his hair back out of his eyes," No, it's not true," she leaned her head to the side studying his face," you're kind, and charming. Things have been done to you that aren't right, but it doesn't mean that those things have to define who you are unless you allow them to."

Peeta righted his eyes, connecting with hers. Katniss felt a warm sensation travelling up her arm, as his bandaged hand found hers. He held her hand to his temple and she curled her fingers into her palm, lightly smoothing his skin there.

Peeta reached up with his other hand, moving it up her arm slowly before resting it on her shoulder. His fingers twisted into the strap of her nightgown, causing the neck line to fall low enough that the top of her breasts were easily visible. Katniss could feel her head becoming light from his touch, every time he would twist the fabric, she could feel a heat radiating up to her face.

He was being dangerously affectionate with her and she was aware of how the drug effected someone's actions, inhibitions were lowered and sexual drive was heightened. A part of her wanted to allow him roam her body but she knew his current state of mind was compromised, and to take advantage of his advances would make her as despicable as his clients.

Katniss lowered her hand from his face, his fingers holding on tight to her until she tugged free. She had assumed when she pulled back he would follow suite but his free hand went to the side of her face, pulling her towards him.

Katniss could feel her pulse race as he closed his eyes, his face dangerously close to hers. Time stopped as everything became abnormally slow, she could feel the soft skin from his bottom lip graze hers, before she pulled back quickly.

Katniss fell back on her hands as she tried to brace herself from knocking her head against the tile," Peeta, no."

His hands were still reaching out, as he opened his eyes, she could see the guilt coming over him and she sighed as she stood up, bending over to help him up.

"You need to rest. Let me help you to bed."

His weight was heavy on her petite frame, as she held on tightly to his bicep, not wanting to injure his bandaged hand. His legs were wobbly as they slowly walked to the section of the suite which held his bed. His room was similarly decorated to hers, and the scent of roses held in the air.

The last couple of steps were rushed and clumsy as the weight of his body pressing into hers was draining any energy she had. Katniss laid him onto the silk bedding as gently as she could, the weight of his body leaving hers.

Peeta settled into the bed, she stood there watching him before she turned to leave. His hand reached out catching her by the wrist, his fingers gently curling around the bone structure.

Peeta smiled softly as though he was drifting off into a sweet dream," You are so beautiful but you always were, even when we were kids."

Katniss opened her mouth to speak when his voice filled the quiet room again," Please stay. I don't want to be alone."

Katniss could feel her heart break, as she nodded sitting down onto ground, her wrist still clutched in his hand as his breathing became steady, signaling he had fallen asleep. Katniss watched him closely, as she could feel something change in her.

She had been given a chance to see him utterly vulnerable, and she hadn't run away. Which only proved to her that she had begun to fall in love with Peeta Mellark.

He could feel the pain in his hand and back before he even opened his eyes, he was also hesitant to discover the source of his pain. He had been under the influence of the drug before, afterwards he had almost no recollection of the time spent. He did have faint memories of some of the hallucinations which were always vivid, and usually resulted in himself becoming injured.

The warmth from the sun filtering through the window rose from his chest to travel up his face, Peeta attempted to move the arm which felt fine, but a weight seemed to be holding it down. He moaned to himself fearful to open his eyes and see that a client had stayed in his room.

He had always made it a priority to not bring back his work to his room, it was the only place of solace he had in the Capitol, and he wanted to keep something for himself. His body had been used long ago and his mind was eventually going to be theirs too, but for now he wanted to just be Peeta if for only a few hours.

Another reason for his refusal was that now Katniss was part of the equation, and he couldn't risk one of the socialites becoming jealous of the district born hand maiden. Because if even one of his clients felt threatened by Katniss, then there was a chance that she would be taken from him at any moment, and he couldn't allow that to happen.

He breathed in deeply before opening his eyes only slightly, before peering down to his chest where a mass of dark curls laid there. A few of the strands were pushed up beneath his chin and he could feel a slight tickle from the contact.

Peeta turned his head slowly to the side and down to see the top of her head, she was lying on his arm while her free arm, which wasn't trapped underneath her body like her other, was drawn over the span of his bare chest. His breath caught in his throat when he realized he was only partially dressed, and Katniss seemed to be wearing one of her nightgowns.

The hem had bunched up below her bottom over the night and the neck line had fallen enough to show most of her right breast. Peeta turned his head quickly averting his eyes and cursing himself for even trying to watch her. He felt sick from the drug, but even in his weakened state he still felt aroused by her presence.

He couldn't help but be frustrated with himself for having feelings for her, it was impossible to have a future with her, but he would catch himself imagining having a family with her.

Peeta lifted up his free hand to lightly smack his forehead for his stupidity, he had to stifle the cry attempting to escape his lips as the wound on his palm began to pulse. He held his hand up in the air examining the bandage, he assumed Katniss had done it, the edges straight and clean.

Peeta turned on his side careful not to trap her hair beneath their bodies, her arm fell between them, as Peeta reached out to her face. She looked so peaceful, as her lashes fluttered, he wanted to know what she was dreaming of.

The side of his thumb began to trace along her cheek bone, traveling down to her lips. The air in the room suddenly became warm and Peeta could feel his stomach tighten. He was utterly and without a question in love with her, everything about her was beautiful.

He placed his thumb onto her lips as his other fingers rested at her chin. He could feel his temptation to kiss her rising as she began to stir.

Peeta drew his hand back as her eyes opened, the deep gray adjusting to the sun light shining down on her body. She breathed out as she stretched her legs out, the warm air spreading over the expanse of Peeta's bare chest.

Katniss opened her eyes wide trying to wake herself up as her fingers grazed over his exposed skin, Peeta's body betrayed him as he shivered from her touch, causing Katniss to be suddenly aware of their proximity and state of dress.

Her eyes traveled down to her chest, before a deep blush forms at her cheeks and with her free hand she pulled up the fabric. However now that the neck line was lifted, the hem of the gown had now met the top elastic of her panties.

Feeling the sudden contact of air at her legs, Katniss let out a loud gasp as she tugged the forgotten sheet over her bare legs. Peeta has to stifle a laugh, but still the sound escaped his lips as Katniss glared at him while she grasped the sheet holding it to her body.

The room is nearly silent with the only sound in the room being their breathing, Peeta can feel his pulse race as he watches her closely. Katniss kept her eyes on the ceiling, while Peeta cleared his throat.

"Why are you in my bed?"

Katniss turned her head over to him, her brow raised," You don't remember?"

Peeta shook his head, his bangs falling around his eyes," No, I'm afraid I was on something last night-"

"Mescaline. You had injured yourself and I bandaged you up," Katniss breathed in deeply," You don't remember anything at all?"

Peeta shifted his weight, as he closed the gap between their bodies," No, not really. Why? Did I do something unforgivable?"

Katniss cleared her throat, before shaking her head her dark curls falling around her shoulders," No, you were a perfect gentleman."

Peets frowned," Well that's disappointing."

Katniss smiled wide as he began to laugh," So tell me how exactly did you end up next to me?"

Katniss sat up, scooting her back up against the head board, the sheet still clutched in her hands," You had taken a hold of my wrist before you fell asleep and I had sat down on the floor. But not long after you started to scream out my name and you kept apologizing for leaving," Peeta shifted his weight again as he became nervous that he had betrayed his secret," And you kept muttering something about paint chipped walls and fairies. I assumed it was just the drug inducing hallucinations again."

"And you crawled into my bed? While I was half naked?"

Katniss slapped at his shoulder," You make it sound dirty. You wouldn't stop calling out until I held you."

Peeta lets out a laugh as he sits up joining her at the front of the bed. He winces as his back makes contact with the head board, the cuts still raw and healing.

With a steady hand, Peeta reaches out to her face moving her curls to her back," Thank you for taking care of me."

Katniss looks at him as she tries to ignore the feel of his hand lingering at her back his fingers tangling in her hair," What else was I supposed to do?"

Peeta smiled softly before leaning into her, the room goes silent again as all she can hear is her heart beat drumming in her ears. It's as if the memory of last night is replaying in her mind but it's actually happening. She's tempted not to pull away, but her fear perseveres, as she places a hand at his chest stopping him.

She shakes her head before swinging her legs over the side of the bed, her back to him," I can't. I'm sorry."

Peeta runs his hands through his hair as he closes his eyes regretful for his foolish behavior," No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Katniss jumped up turning around with her arms folded over her chest," No, it's fine don't apologize."

Katniss' eyes began to dart around the room like a frightened animal as Peeta began to stand from the bed," Katniss-"

Katniss backed up, her nails digging into her bare arms," I should really go to my room. You need your privacy."

Peeta watched her run from the room, her dark curls flying behind her. The image of her form was a memory as she disappeared through the door leading into the main room. He sighed heavily, as his regret and the pain from his injuries set in.

Peeta glanced down to his chest and arm where tiny dried droplets of blood sat. He reasoned that a shower would make him feel better and perhaps he would be able to rest before they were needed to travel back to twelve.

When he entered the bathroom, the odor of dried blood assaulted him, as he fought the urge to gag.

A pool of blood had already dried onto the white tile, as a collection of cloths and a bottle of liquor sat beside a silver bowl. Peeta assumed it had been what Katniss used to clean him up and he had to be impressed by her ingenuity .

He bent down pushing his boxers down low enough so he could use his feet to pull them off the rest of the way.

He stepped into the shower as the motion sensor triggered the stream of water to fall onto his battered body. The soap dispenser above his head began to spray onto his body, Peeta closed his eyes, the image of the gray eyed girl a room away flooded his mind, and he willed his body not to react.

Peeta bathed quickly, before stepping out and wrapping a cotton towel around the lower half of his body. The scratches at his back stung from the soap seeping in, and the bandage Katniss had fashioned was now soaked in water.

He sighed as he pushed the door open, walking into his room, he was so preoccupied with his injured hand, that he almost missed her presence.

He looked up slowly to find her standing in the middle of his room, still dressed in her nightgown.

"Katniss?"

Katniss fiddled with the hem of her gown her eyes staring into his," I did want to kiss you… I do."

Peeta's body began to shake as he watched her, her dark hair was covering most of her chest, as her breathing caused pieces to fall by her side. Peeta sighed before walking to her, his legs suddenly feeling heavy like lead, Katniss stood in place as he closed the gap between their two bodies.

The air in the room suddenly became warm and Peeta could feel his bare skin rising in goose bumps. His eyes were unwavering as their faces were only separated by inches, as Katniss dropped her eyes in a nervous habit. Peeta reached up with both his hands, placing his palms over her ears, his fingers tangling in her dark hair.

He lifted her face up enough that it was impossible for her not to make eye contact with him. Peeta could see the fear in her eyes, he too could feel his anxiety rising. He could finally kiss her again, but this time it would be as two grown people coming together through a need to feel and not as two children finding innocent comfort in one another.

Katniss kept her hands down by her side, but Peeta could feel the back of her hands brushing up against the skin just above his towel. Shivers traveled up his torso, as her touches both tickled and excited him. They were at a standstill as neither one moved, their breathing mingling into warmth which brushed against the others face.

Sighing quietly, Peeta leaned in slowly, giving her enough time to back out, he was expecting for her to push him away, so when his lips finally met hers, his eyes opened wide.

Katniss' eyes were closed as her lashes fluttered, Peeta smiled into her mouth before pressing into her enough to increase the pressure. It was like a slow burn had ignited, Peeta could feel his stomach tighten and he wanted nothing more than to lift her up and take her over to his bed so that he could explore her body. His mind was racing as to what to do next when he felt her tongue push against his bottom lip, asking for permission.

Peeta was more than pleased when he opened his mouth to her, tilting his head to the side, his fingers curling into her hair more. Their tongues pushed against each other, Katniss moaned softly which in turn caused Peeta to do so as well.

He was so lost in the feel of her mouth on his that he almost jumped back when her hands travelled up his sides, tickling the skin there, to land at his bare chest. Every part of him was tingling and he could begin to feel his body betray him, he cursed his luck for only wearing a towel. He knew it was safe to assume she could feel his arousal pressed up against her as their bodies closed the gap.

The silk of her nightgown bunched against his skin, as Katniss began to move her body against his slowly. Peeta felt dizzy from the contact as he tried in vain to hold back his need. His hands traveled from her hair down to her shoulders, the straps of her gown had fallen, and Peeta could feel the top of her breasts pressing into him.

Her skin was smooth but it held a natural feel to it, even after all the waxing and scrubs, unlike the women of the Capitol whose treatments over the years had diminished any organic properties. He could feel his need winning out against his better judgment as his mind began to shut off and something simpler took over. He needed to feel her, he needed to have her feel him, the want was more powerful than anything he had ever felt.

Peeta was more than surprised when she began to pull away, her face inches from his as her hands curled into her chest. Peeta could feel the absence already beginning to swallow him whole when he opened his eyes to see her watching him. His hands were still at her shoulders when she backed away, his hands falling to his sides, after hanging in the air for a few seconds.

Her face was flushed and her lips swollen, as her hair was a mass of messed curls. He felt a quiet pride in knowing he was cause of her appearance. He could only imagine what he looked like, as she smiled softly.

Katniss blushed deeply before dropping her head," I've imagined kissing you more than once."

Peeta could feel his chest tighten," Did it match up to your fantasy?"

Katniss looked up gently smiling," It was better," she swallowed hard before continuing," but I think we both know what could have happened if I hadn't pulled away."

Peeta nodded," I know, but I wasn't afraid to go there."

Tears began to fill her eyes," But maybe I am."

Peeta attempted to close the gap," Katniss-"

Katniss stumbled back," I know that coming here and kissing you was foolish, but I just wanted to feel what it was like if only once," Katniss coughed trying to push her tears down," I should really go ready our things for the trip back to the district."

Katniss turned to walk out, she was to the door when Peeta spoke up," Katniss for what it's worth, I've thought of kissing you too."

Katniss partially turned so only her profile was visible," It's worth a lot."

Peeta smiled softly as the door swung closed behind her, his body was still buzzing form the rush of having her close. It wasn't until the thought of having to travel back home hit him that he felt sick.

He couldn't hold off telling her about Darius for very much longer, and he was aware of how short their time would be together after her courting would begin. Peeta worked his fingers through his hair as he attempted to gain his composure.

He could feel his pulse stabilizing until he let out a gasp of air and tears filled his eyes before rushing down his cheeks. His body crumpled to the ground as he quietly mourned the loss of the woman he loved.

A/N: Thanks for reading as please REVIEW!