Chapter 19 –

10:35AM Sunday 20th November 2011

JJ smiled as she opened the door, the sound of music enveloped the room as Emily lay on the bed next to Milly, her iPad resting on her knees. JJ walked around and sat down on the chair before she peered over at the screen.

"Dancing with the Stars, so that's your guilty secret Em?"

"Yeah you caught me red handed Jen, how are you?"

Emily quickly paused the program and looked at her friend.

"Good, relaxed, speaking of which, I take it you haven't been back to your bed for a while, had a shower?"

"She's right Emily, you've slept on that chair and you are beginning to smell a bit!"

Milly grinned as she finished the sentence while Emily put her hand on her chest and feigned how hurt she was.

"Ok I can take a hint, I know when I'm not wanted!"

Emily stuck her tongue out at Milly as she got up off the bed before she grabbed her coat from the foot of the bed.

"Don't worry Em, I'll stay and keep Milly company."

"Thanks Jen."

JJ smiled as she watched Emily leave before she passed Milly her iPad.

"You want to carry on watching?"

"Yeah, thanks."

JJ looked at Milly as the girl brought the program up onto the screen before Milly turned to look at her.

"You want to join me?"

Milly patted the bed softly as JJ grinned widely.

"Sure why not."

11:47AM Sunday 20th November 2011

JJ smiled as she put the iPad down and looked across at Milly.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"Coffee would be nice."

JJ nodded as she climbed off the bed and watched Milly yawn.

"Ok I won't be long."

"Thanks JJ."

Milly smiled as JJ walked out of the room, glad that she was alone even if it was for a brief time, the past few days had been a bit like a whirlwind and she still felt as if she was being tossed in the air, her emotions had yet to settle down. Milly had headed to Dallas for no other reason than to get away from school and the Colonel, nobody had shown her any love, apart from Emily, so why should she show herself any? Milly hadn't the determination to kill herself outright instead she thought that someone else would do the deed for her and it very nearly happened. Milly sighed as she rolled over in the bed and shut her eyes, she didn't want to die now but she wasn't sure how much she wanted to live either. Granted it was great that Emily was alive and willing to share her home with her but Milly still had those nagging self doubts that kept raising their voices in her mind. It was during these times that Milly had turned to the knife, a present from the Colonel, one of the few items he had ever given her and at last she had found a use for it but now after she had been attacked she had no idea of where it was. Milly suddenly found herself unable to control her emotions, the tears started flowing freely once again, she hated not being in control and the knife had given her that.

"Milly what's wrong?"

JJ quickly closed the door and walked over to the bed, putting the two cups of coffee down as she crouched down beside Milly and stroked her hair softly.

"What is it Milly? Do you want me to get the doctor?"

Milly shook her head as she opened her eyes and looked at JJ, speaking through the sobs.

"Sorry, don't worry I'm ok."

Milly reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes, she could feel her cheeks reddening with embarrassment, it was bad enough that Emily knew how much of a mess she was but now JJ had walked in on her having a meltdown.

"Milly sweetie, come on talk to me."

Milly shook her head as she swallowed hard and tried to stop the tears from streaming down her face.

"Do you want me to get Emily?"

JJ sighed as she spoke, she didn't want to disturb her friend's much needed rest but she was at a loss as to how to help Milly.

"No, I'm sorry JJ, it's nothing honestly."

Milly smiled but she knew that she wasn't fooling JJ as the older woman pulled the chair over and sat down, all the time keeping eye contact with Milly until she was sat down and reached across and gently placed the palm of her hand on Milly's cheek.

"I'm just finding it hard, really hard JJ."

JJ nodded her head and smiled at Milly who took a breath before she continued.

"I'm not used to people caring about me, wanting to spend time with me, when I ran away I hated myself, my life, I wanted it all to end."

"And now?"

JJ frowned slightly, she knew that Milly obviously had some emotional problems she just didn't know how deep they ran.

"I don't know, I want to live, I want to live with Emily."

Milly stopped and closed her eyes, she could feel the tears forming once again.

"It's going to be ok Milly, you've been through a lot and nobody is going to rush you into anything, especially Emily."

JJ smiled as Milly nodded her head and managed to give JJ a small smile in return.

"Thanks for listening JJ, I haven't really talked to anyone like that before, not even my mom, Emily tried but I never really gave her a chance."

"It was a pleasure Milly, and I'm glad that you were able to talk to me, I'm always here for you to speak to but I hope that you will be able to talk to Emily too."

"I have started too, it was amazing when she stood up to the Colonel yesterday."

JJ laughed slightly, Hotch had filled the team in on what had happened as they finished up the paperwork for the case.

"I can imagine how it went, I've seen Emily crack the toughest unsubs."

"She really is strong isn't she?"

"Yeah but she needs you too Milly, she searched tirelessly for you, just don't forget that although you haven't spent that much time together you two have a really strong bond."

Milly smiled once again as JJ reached up and stroked Milly's cheek once again.

"You really think everything is going to be ok?"

"Of course Milly, things are only going to get better now, you have to believe that."

Milly nodded and reached up and placed her hand on top of JJ's, all the dark thoughts had disappeared for the time being.