I felt like I had just shut my eyes when I heard a baby wail.
"Ugh" I opened my eyes up again, and stood up and went into Nathans room.
It had been a long 4 months, I mean like a long four months; first of all I was a single dad.
Becca had died in surgery a few months ago, and quite honestly I didn't really care. I know that sounds horrible but let's be honest she was a bitch, and she tried to break up me and Rosalie, which for that reason I will never forgive her, but I do feel bad for Nathans sake. He will never get to know his mother and even though she is a total bitch he will never get to meet her.
"Nathan" I sighed I picked him up and went downstairs to see my mother
"Hey mama" I said
"How is my baby and grandbaby?"
"Tired"
"Oh my baby!" she said lifting him from my arms
"I have a race tomorrow, and I haven't slept a full night's sleep in over a week" I complained to her
"Ok baby I will watch him for the night, you sleep I don't want you to fall asleep at the wheel" she said snuggling Nathan.
"Thank you mom"
I went up stairs and pulled off my shirt and put it in the hamper and lay down, and then it happened like clockwork I would think of rose, it had been almost two months since I had seen her. She looked beautiful, even though she had lost weight and made her look not as curvy I still thought she was gorgeous.
I missed her
I missed her so much
But she was moving on she was starting to date Zach, or at least that's what I heard, I hadn't really been up to the track since Nathan came and when I was there I didn't see her.
I loved her
So so much
But how could she ever come back to me after this?
I didn't deserve her.
But just as the thought popped into my mind my phone went off signal ling I had a txt, I almost ignored it but I looked at it.
It was from her
I opened it as quick as I could
I heard you were racing tomorrow ~R
'Yeah I am… are you going to be there?' I asked back probably too quickly, and I don't even know why I asked that , it's not like it would matter if I did any way she was seeing Zach and I have Nathan now.
' yeah, I promised Zach I would go' I should have never asked, I hate that she was saying that, as if to remind me she is off limits now, like I didn't already know
'I already heard about you two, don't worry I will stay away' I said in the moment of anger but quickly realized I had no grounds to be upset with her to date other people so I sent out anther quick one before she responded 'sorry I didn't mean that'
'It's not your fault…I shouldn't have brought it up…'
I didn't know what to say to that but before I had to come up with something my phone started ringing, it was her and I picked up the phone so quick just craving the sound of her voice
"Hello?" I just heard her breath deeply "rose?"
"Yeah, it's me" I let out a light chuckle
"I know …you called me remember?" just the sound of her voice putting me in better mood
"Oh yeah, sorry…look…I just hate that I can't have a normal conversation with you anymore"
"That's my fault I suppose" I replied
"I wish I could forgive you" she said barely above a whisper
"Me too baby girl" I replied but quite honestly I was so tired and her soft voice was lulling me to sleep.
She laughed a little …probably the first real laugh in a while
"Baby you are going to fall asleep on me" she said still laughing
I barley had my eyelids open at this point "no I never fall asleep on a girl" I said in kind of a joking tone
"Yeah that's the problem" and that's when I fell asleep or at least what I can remember from the conversation
When woke up I just took a shower and put on my clothes and headed to the track, my mother had already taken Nathan there so I just had to get up eat and leave.
I had just pulled into my normal slot in the garage when Pete came up to me
"Hey man I haven't seen you in a while" he said
"Yeah I have been a little busy" I said Pete started to tell me a story from when I was gone but my attention was caught on the gorgeous sight before me.
She wore a tight pair of jeans and loose grey top, she looked so beautiful with her hair falling over her back.
"And then she fell right out of her chair," he said doubled over laughing
I gave him a quick I'm sorry look "hey, Pete I'm really sorry, we can talk later ok" I said rushing away form him and to the beauty in front of me.
"Ok just tell me when you want to hang out ok?" he yelled after me
But I was concentrating on something else.
I should say someone else.
I loved her so so much, but I couldn't even describe how much I missed having her in my life every day. I ran over to her with all that I had in me
"Rose!"
She turned to me, she smiled but it wasn't like what it used to be
"Hi Emmett," she said quietly
I don't blame her though, it was sad to think that we were no longer together
"it's good to see you" I said lamely, she smiled shyly but then a look came over her and her demure become a lot harsher
"Look I don't have a lot of time" she said more icily
"Well, It's nice to see you again that's all" I said even more stupidly
"Yeah" she said shortly
"Look… uh"
"I shouldn't have called you last night" she interrupted me
"What?" I said confused
"It was a mistake"
"It was not-" I try but only get interrupted again
"Yes, it was Emmet I shouldn't have called you last night" ok now I was getting upset
"Ok what is with the hot and cold act?" I said upset
She looked like she was about to cry and laugh all at once and even though I knew she was playing with my emotions I just wanted to grab her in my arms and hold her.
"I don't know how to handle being around you ok?" She said with a tear rolling down her cheek
I gently pushed my hand out and brushed the tear away, she grabbed my hand to stop from leaving her cheek, I would have tried to kiss her if I didn't already know she would push me off and the fact that she was holding her ground as to not let me get any closer.
"Baby…"
"I am not your baby any more" she said and I felt like my heart was crumbling
"I don't know what to do" I said being honest
"I wish I could just forget, because half of me wants to jump into your arms and the other half of me wants to just pumble you and walk away." She said
"I hate that I made you feel this way" I state I really do mean it, even though I am hurt it hurts so much more to know that she is hurt.
"I just don't know what to do?" she cried more and it broke me, she is strong but I am stronger. I pulled her into me and held her close "shush sweetie its ok" I promised
At first she was tense and then she softened and pulled her arms around me to bring me closer while she silently cried "I love you" I whispered in her ear
"No you don't" she said pulling away from me
"Don't tell me how I feel, because no matter what you do I will always love you" I said very seriously
"If you loved me" she said the word love like it was the worst word in the world "you would not have gotten that slut pregnant.
That kind of stung "look Rose, I love you, very much, more than words could speak, but that slut unfortunately it the mother of my child and although she is dead she gave me Nathan and I love Nathan, he is my son"
"I… I didn't know she died" she said shocked
"Yeah well we didn't make it very public. And it doesn't matter."
"Emmet…"
"Look I don't want to talk about it." I said and I could tell she felt bad "I have to go" I said walking away
I was in my racecar and I was fuming about the whole day, about having little sleep, about Rose and I really hate that in the car next to me is the asshole that gets to be with her. Yes this whole day has very much one of the worst days of my life. I could just hear the engine vrooming. As soon as the flag was down, I took off so fast that i knew I left the other racers in the dust.
After the race was over and the assembly was done giving me my first place trophy I saw my mom and started walking towards her.
"Good job baby" she said handing Nathan over to me
"Thank you momma" I said smiling at my son
"Did you watch daddy race?" I asked him
But I noticed her watching me, I looked over at her and I smirked at her, but just for a second before I saw Zach come up and pull her along. But before she left for a second I saw her smirk at me too.