2 September

Dear Diary,

I now have two new friends named Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. They are both are stocky and slightly stupid I think that they will make perfect bodyguards. Befriending them was fairly simple as all I had to say to them was "my name is Draco Malfoy. I am racist. I hate Mudbloods and gingers and my father works for the same man that yours does. Would you like to be my friend?" They both said yes. Now the Slytherin common room is set in the dungeons of the castle and they have these nice leather couches that I think were maybe made in Italy and of course my first reaction is to jump on them. Apparently I wasn't supposed to do that because our prefect Gemma immediately came rushing up to me yelling, "Draco you little shit!" I think she is a bitch and I don't like her. That was the first time that anybody had yelled at me. Not even my father yells at me. Because our common room is so far below ground our windows look out into the lake. This morning before I went to the Great Hall for breakfast I glanced out of the window and I saw this giant monster with multiple tentacles waving at me with one of its slimy appendages.

Will write more later,

Draco

P.S. I think that the tentacled monster wants to rape me.