2 September

Dear Diary,

I didn't sleep well last night because one of my dorm mates named Seamus Finnegan snores…loudly…even louder than Dudley does. Also that bloke Ron is a dork. He is always playing this "wizard chess." I think that chess is the most stupidest game ever. That Hermione I think her name was is an annoying know-it-all who looks like a beaver. Another one of my dorm mates named Neville Longbottom is a kind of awkward boy, but he is nice to me and probably would be the kind of person I would befriend in a normal school.

Harry

P.S. Cauldron cakes are delicious and I think that I ate too many because my stomach hurts.

P.P.S. I don't know why Neville's last name is Longbottom. His bottom is more round than it is long.