Chapter 3

Blaine sighed. If Kurt didn't mention it, he obviously didn't know what had happened to Blaine after they'd broken up. "I guess it all started when I moved to California. I had decided to go to a college near LA. I was in therapy for months, but met this girl there. We had different therapists, but we were always in the waiting room at the same time. It took us a few weeks to get the courage to talk to each other, and then we realized that we not only went to the same college, but were in the exact same classes."

Kurt nodded, motioning Blaine to go on. "With her, there was this huge mess where her grandmother and birth mother both died of breast cancer and her father committed suicide when she was a baby, so she had been put up for adoption. When she was nineteen, she found something out about her genetics that her parents didn't have, and found out that they never told her she was adopted. She was really messed up about it."

Blaine shrugged. "And then after that, we kind of became friends. Both of us had insane trust issues, and neither of us wanted any friends. We were content to keep out noses down and take our classes. But out of the blue, we became best friends."

Blaine took a deep breath, and Kurt knew the bad part was coming. "At very beginning of our junior year of college, after spending the whole summer together, we were coming home from a movie and she wanted to stop by this store on the way.

"I had a test the next morning, so she told me to go back to the dorm and study. Sometimes I wish I hadn't listened to her, but other times, when I look at Rose, I'm okay with leaving her." Both boys glanced at Rose, who had dosed off while leaning on her dad's arm.

Blaine continued, "The next day she showed up at school like normal, but she seemed really upset. It took her about a week, but she eventually told me that she had been raped, but she didn't want an investigation and she didn't want to press charges. Apparently it had been someone we knew at the college, but she wouldn't tell me who, because she knew I'd get really upset and blow up at them or something.

"Three months later, after Christmas break, she told me she was pregnant. I knew she didn't have a boyfriend, and she knew she hadn't slept with anyone, so we knew it was her rapist, whoever he was. I asked her what she wanted to do about it, and she said she wanted to keep her baby. And, of course, trying to be supportive, I told her I would try to help her in every way I could.

"At the beginning of our senior year, in October, she gave birth to Rose. When the hospital asked about the father, we told them she was mine, even though we both knew she wasn't. But we were both going to raise her. We, of course, were going to tell Rose when she was old enough that I wasn't her biological father, and I wasn't about to walk back in the closet and marry Jayden to make us a 'real' family, but Jay wanted me to be Rosie's father, legally, from the beginning.

"When Rose was three months old, they went up to Northern California for Christmas, where her parents lived so they could see their grandchild. Jay had mostly gotten over her anger at them, but it was the first time she'd gone home since she left for college. On her drive back to LA, she got in a nasty accident. Rose had scratches and bruises, but she wasn't hurt too bad. Jayden, on the other hand, ended up in a coma for two months before she died. Because legally I was Rose's father, I ended up having full custody of her." Blaine finished.

Kurt sighed deeply, trying to retain this information. "So when you said she was adopted…" Kurt trailed off.

"Easier to explain than that." Blaine looked down at his napkin, which he hadn't realized he'd shredded into a million tiny pieces. "We still head out to Vallejo every once in a while to see Jay's parents because they're still Rose's grandparents, but they really don't like me." Blaine laughed. "They hate thinking that a gay guy knocked up their daughter, but they love Rose. She looks almost identical to Jayden."

Kurt forced a smile.'But god, why had Blaine been forced to go through so much?' he thought. To save him from replying, Kurt's phone buzzed. He checked and read the message from his father. "Your car's ready."

Blaine nudged Rose awake and the three headed out to the car. The drive to the shop was still quiet, but definitely more comfortable. Blaine thanked Kurt for the ride and the coffee, while thanking Burt for fixing his car. And then he and Rose headed home.

Blaine thought it was a little weird that he and Kurt didn't cross paths for the rest of November. After all, Kurt had only been back in Lima for a few days when they found each other this time. But Blaine chalked it off to Kurt being busy with his job, and he with his job—and his daughter.

The first week, Blaine had actually expected a call of text from Kurt. Blaine had given him his number, right? Didn't giving someone your number mean you wanted them to contact you? Blaine sighed. Maybe not. He was really out of touch with this relationship thing.

Sure, he went to staff meetings. He hung out with some of his colleagues on the weekends. He talked to his students and his students' parents. But none of them he could really call his 'friends,' he supposed. Except Carrie, Rose's babysitter. But that was different, because Carrie was so easy to like—he was pretty sure everyone that met her considered Carrie their friend.

The second week, he thought that maybe Kurt was thinking the same thing. Maybe, since Kurt had given Blaine his number in turn, he was supposed to call Kurt. But then again, if Kurt wanted to talk to Blaine, wouldn't he have given some indication that he wanted to?

Maybe he had, but Blaine hadn't read it? And had Blaine given Kurt a hint that he wanted to keep contact? And did Blaine want to keep contact and be Kurt's friend, or was he just trying to make sure he was completely over Kurt, or was he actually trying to fall in love with him again?

Blaine shook away the thought. There was no way that he could let Kurt back in. Hell, there was no way he could let anybody back in. Not after everything he had gone through. No, he'd realized that the only person he could rely on was himself. Which was unfortunate, because often enough, Blaine found that he wasn't enough.

By the third week, Blaine had decided that he and Kurt had met again for one reason and one reason only. It was a lot like Elphaba in Wicked—the book. She needed to find Sarima to apologize before she could continue on with her life. But unlike Sarima, Blaine knew he needed to forgive Kurt.

And now that Kurt had apologized and Blaine had forgiven him, their purpose to each other was over, and they both needed to move on with their lives. And that was it. So Blaine accepted that, and vowed to forget about Kurt, even if he hadn't been successful in that at all the past seven years.

And in the fourth week, Blaine had realized that forgetting Kurt wasn't going to happen. Ever. Unless he developed long term memory loss, or dementia, or Alzheimer's, or whatever. Blaine sighed and stared down the road. The high school had been let out at lunch since their winter dance was that evening, which meant that he had the whole afternoon off.

Rose was at Riley's birthday party, and Blaine had opted out of going. Riley's parents could take care of Rose, he knew that. But now he was regretting not going. Because his job, Rose, and her mother before her, had been his only distractions against his life. And Kurt coming back brought everything back even worse than it usually did when Rose wasn't around.

Blaine sighed again as he subconsciously turned down that familiar road. Seeing all the cars in the parking lot, and the red and white sign pulled Blaine out of his thoughts. In the three years of living back in Lima, Blaine had avoided McKinley High School like the plague. Yeah, when his Glee kids went up against theirs, he went to the competitions. And when his school's sports teams went up against theirs he went to the games. But he had made sure that he never had to go onto the school grounds again.

Of course, he was just about to break his promise to himself. There was no way he could turn back now. He parked in visitor parking and walked in. Class was in session, but that hadn't stopped a couple kids from hanging out in the hallways. They snickered when they saw him, and Blaine figured it was probably because he looked like a substitute teacher or something.

Making his way to the trophy case, he peered in to see the trophies the Glee club had brought in the two years he had been there. He smiled as he remembered all the memories and songs, and dramas and hardships. He was so lost in his memories that he didn't hear the bell ring.

God, being here made him feel seventeen again, carefree, happy, just another junior boy in high school with no worries except when his next test was, what he was going to sing for that week's Glee lesson, and what he and his boyfriend were going to do after school that day.

"Blaine? Blaine Anderson?"

Blaine turned and his face paled before turning bright red. "Mr. Schuester." Blaine reached out his hand and shook his former teacher's. This was crazy. He had avoided his past to well in the several years he had tried to run away from it, and then suddenly it was coming back to bite him. All in one short month.

"What are… You have no idea how worried all of us were about you, Blaine." Mr. Schue said after a long pause.

Blaine looked at his feet. "Yeah, I know. I'd had a tough year, you know? And I wanted a clean break."

Mr. Schue nodded in understanding. "Where did you go? And what are you doing back in Lima?"

Blaine sighed. How many times was he going to have to answer these questions? "I went to college in California. And then moved back here about three years ago. I got a job over at East Lima Academy."

Mr. Schue's eyes brightened in recognition. "Our Glee club had competed against them."

Blaine smiled and looked at his feet. "I know. I'm one of their Glee club directors."

Mr. Schue looked confused. "But I've never seen you there before?"

"That's because I mostly just practice with them. I go to competitions, but usually their other director is with them in the green room, back stage, and such. I'm usually in the audience." Blaine explained. Then the two of them realized that they were talking in a hallway full of students trying to make their way to their classes.

"We can go back to my office, if you want to talk more. But if you're in a hurry… I don't have a class next period." Mr. Schue offered.

Blaine smiled. Now he realized why he came. He was supposed to be the adult in all of his situations—with his students and his daughter, but being an adult wasn't easy, especially not when he'd never gotten the transition period. He was just thrown into adulthood without his permission. Besides, Mr. Schue was really in the same position as he, much of the time, since they taught the same things in the same town. And Blaine really needed someone to talk to. "That'd be great."

The two headed back to Mr. Schue's office and sat down. Blaine, after a short hesitation, told Mr. Schue everything. About how what had happened in high school had affected him, leaving everyone and everything and going to college alone, and meeting Jayden, and about Rose's story, and why he moved back to Lima, and his job, and being a single parent, and Kurt coming back, and just everything.

Mr. Schue sat and listened to Blaine patiently, commenting when necessary and staying silent the rest of the time. By the end of Blaine's story, both men were crying.

"And most days I wake up feeling like I'm still a teenager. Yes, I'm wearing adult clothes, and working an adult job, and doing adult things like raising a child. But I'm still a child. I'm still eighteen—and frozen at my high school graduation, inside." Blaine finished

Mr. Schuester was at a loss for words. He had known, as soon as he found out, that life was going to be hard for Blaine then on out, but had he known that Blaine was going to run away, he would've tried to stop him.

"I know there's not really much to say." Blaine admitted. "It's all in the past; it's over and it's done and I can't change it. And I'm glad with many of the results. I'm happy with Rose, and I'm thrilled that I'm able to help teenagers and little kids with my job. But sometimes, all I want to know is why I had to go through everything to get all this? High school didn't have to happen like it did, and I didn't have to lose my best friend and family for me to want to become a teacher. My best friend didn't have to get raped and then die for me to have a daughter."

Mr. Schue stayed silent until he was sure Blaine was done. And even then, he wasn't sure he knew what to say. "I admire and respect you so much, Blaine. You've gone through more than any one person should have to go through in a life time, let alone twenty five years. And you're still here, you're still sane, you're still helping people, and you're still going on with your life." Mr. Schue paused and looked up at Blaine, whose eyes were still filled with tears. "You're an amazing man, Blaine, and you're the man that every boy, including myself, wants to become."

"But," Blaine's voice broke and the sobs came out. Mr. Schue put his arm around his former student's shoulders. "why did everything have to happen the way it did for me to become who I am?"

Mr. Schue couldn't answer that. He shook his head as his own tears fell and sighed. "I don't know Blaine."

And somewhere, a few miles away, an anxious Kurt Hummel was staring at his cell phone, just like he had been for the past month.