Trigger warnings for homophobia and slight violence
Chapter 5
Blaine's hell year—part 2
It had been going on for months. Hell, it'd been happening since the first day of school. And it was just getting worse and worse. Blaine sighed as he stared at his mother's box of sleeping pills. It would be so, so easy…
You guys are young. I want you to promise me that no matter how depressed you get, no matter how hopeless or alone you feel, you'll try your best to imagine all of the amazing experiences you have ahead of you.
No. Blaine told himself. You're been there before, and you lived through it then. You're alive for a reason. You can't go back. Besides, killing yourself if just letting Ryan and Kurt and my parents and everyone win; like admitting that they got to me.
Blaine got up off his bathroom floor, put away his mother's prescription medicine, and grabbed his backpack. Heading for school, he parked in the back as usual. Then he walked up to the school, and rattled off some insults at Ryan, Steven, and Sean after they made a few 'fag' and 'cocksucker' comments. Things were going on like a normal day. Then Blaine walked off to get ready for class. Unfortunately, he was walking right past a staircase when his tormentors decided to push him into a 'locker.'
Blaine woke up in the hospital the next day. This time, two of his ribs really were broken, along with his wrist and nose. He was covered in bruises and it hurt to do anything. The doctor had informed his parents that one of the broken ribs had been cracked recently and hadn't healed properly, along with telling them that the majority of the bruises were weeks old, and not from this particular incident.
"Blaine, are you being bullied again?" his mother asked softly.
"Its fine mom, I can take care of myself."
"Obviously not!" His mom exclaimed. "You could've been killed, Blaine.
" I'm not fourteen anymore." Blaine muttered.
His mother sighed, exasperated, "But you obviously need the same protection." She sighed. "Honey, do you think you need to go back to Dalton? This whole McKinley thing, it was okay for a year, but it doesn't seem like it's—"
Blaine cut her off. "No, mom." While he may not have had many friends at McKinley, the only Dalton kids he was actually friends with had all graduated the year before. "Besides, it's only three more months. And our Glee club is going to Nationals, and I don't want to miss it, mom."
She sighed. "Okay, Blaine. But promise me you'll tell me if anything happens again?"
Blaine nodded. "What going to happen to Ryan?"
His mom sighed sadly. "He and his friends claimed it was harmless horsing around and it was a complete accident. They didn't mean to push you so hard or towards the stairs."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Of course." He looked at the hospital bed. "How long to I have to stay here?"
"Only a little bit longer, love." She replied, kissing her son's forehead. "Maybe a few days. And then we're going to LA for Spring Break to look at that college, remember?"
Blaine smiled. "I remember. And then I can go back to school?" he asked.
She grinned. "Yes, then you can go back to school."
"Good." Blaine nodded. "I don't want to miss too many Glee rehearsals."
His mother nodded in understanding. "But you have to promise you'll tell us if something else happens." Blaine nodded.
Of course, when the locker pushing continued, Blaine kept his mouth shut.
June
"Yeah, mom. It's on the seventeenth. At eleven am." Blaine was on the phone with his mother, telling her (again) the details of his high school graduation. His parents and his sister were on vacation in Europe with his maternal grandparents, who were then going to fly over to his graduation. But, of course, since his grandparents had a lot of money, they never did anything half way and were going to fly back in their private plane.
"Okay mom." Blaine said. "I'll see you Sunday. Have a good flight. Yeah, I have to go take my next final. Mhm. Kay mom. Yeah, I love you. Bye."
"Aaaw, does bitty baby Anderson wuv his mommy?" Ryan, Steven, and Sean taunted and snickered from behind Blaine. "Do you need to make sure that mommy doesn't forget to pack your goldfish for snack time, and your blankey for nap time?"
"Fuck off." Blaine said, walking to class.
"What did you say to me, Anderson?" Ryan roared.
"I clearly said for you to fuck off. Or fuck yourself. Or fuck each other; that would work too." Blaine left for his last class of the year, leaving three angry classmates behind him.
Later that week, Blaine (who was desperately trying to repair his relationships) was with Tina getting ready for graduation. "Are your parents here yet?" she asked him.
"Not yet, but they probably won't be here until an hour or so before. If they even make graduation at all."
"Oh shush." Tina grinned. "they'll be there. Now, can you please help me with my hair?"
"Tinaaaa!" Blaine groaned. "You know I'm not very good with hair. Look at this helmet I put up with every day."
Tina laughed. "Alright, you're no Kurt Hummel, but you could still..." she trailed off at the look on Blaine's face. "Oh. Right, I'm so sorry Blaine. I wasn't thinking, I just—"
"It's fine." Blaine said, smiling. "I need to get over it sooner or later anyway. He's your friend; you should be able to talk about him without being afraid of how I'll react."
Tina was still giving him a sympathetic look. "I'm still sorry."
Blaine sighed. "I know. So am I."
A few hours later, the two found themselves at graduation. All the speeches had taken place, and more than half of them (Including Blaine and Tina) had received their diplomas. Blaine kept scanning the audience, but could not see the serious faces of his grandparents and father, the soft and doting face of his mother, or the silly and bubbly face of his sister anywhere. He shrugged it off. They were late much of the time. The plane probably just left later than they had anticipated.
After the graduation was over, Tina and Artie, along with a few other Glee kids, pulled Blaine over for some pictures. Once, he thought he saw Kurt watching him in the sea of people, but shrugged it off and continued taking pictures. He only let his smile falter once he saw Mr. Schue heading towards him with a pained look on his face.
"Blaine, I need to talk to you." Blaine followed him out until they were sitting in Mr. Schue's office. Emma was already sitting there, tears streaming down her face.
"What's going on? What's wrong? Why are we in here?" Blaine asked.
Mr. Schue had tears in his eyes when Blaine looked up, but he let Emma do the talking. "Blaine, it's really important that you try to stay calm after I tell you this. I know it'll be hard, but try."
Blaine nodded. "Anything. What's wrong? It is Abby?"
She tried to nod and shake her head at the same time, but Blaine could tell her news was too depressing for him to find if funny. "Blaine, we just got a call from the coast guard. They found a small private plane that had crashed. There," her voice broke. "there were no survivors. It was your grandparent's plane."
And in less than a second, Blaine's whole body went numb. It was like someone had burned him with fire, but doused him with ice water at the same time. He didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. "There has to be some mistake." Blaine insisted. "It can't be them. Their plane was just… It's just late. It's… It's not them. It has to be someone else."
Emma shook her head. "I know this is hard information to take, Blaine. No one should ever have to hear it, especially at your age, but it's true. Now, someone is going to come to your house and have you identify the bodies and such. But you're eighteen, so that's really all you owe to them, and all they owe to you."
"No." Blaine said. "No! No, no, no!" he knew he sounded ridiculous, but he couldn't' stop repeating the word. "Take my grandparents, fuck them, they've always hated me. Take my father, whatever, I've never been good enough for him. But my mom and Abby, they can't take them. They can't be gone. They can't."
Emma and Will tried to hold back their tears so they could be strong for Blaine, but his sobs led them into their own. After sitting on the floor, sobbing, for over an hour, Blaine stood up wearily. "I should probably get home."
"Blaine, no." Emma said. "Come stay with us tonight. Please?"
Blaine shook his head. "I can't."
Emma shot him a sympathetic look. "Can I come check on you later tonight?"
Blaine nodded, letting the numbness sink back over him. It was better than the pain. "Yeah, sure."
She nodded and let her tears fall freely as Blaine walked out the door and into his car. This was the last time he would ever be on the McKinley campus for a very long time, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Blaine drove to his house in a daze, and ended up in his back yard.
Is it bad enough yet? Blaine thought to himself, Every reason you have to live is gone. The love of your life is gone, your family is gone, you're done with school. You have no reason to yet up tomorrow morning. "Is this fucking enough!" he yelled into the blue sky to no one in particular.
Blaine was angry. He still didn't want to believe it. "Take my boyfriend, fine. Take my friends, take my school, take my identity. Just, why did you have to take my family? Why? Who up there hates me? Who has it in for me? Am I just the butt of some big practical joke the universe is putting on? Why me? Why my mom? Why Abby? Why… Just… Why?"
Blaine didn't realize how long he'd been sitting in his back yard, yelling at the sky when he realized how dark the sky had become, and how bright the stars were. He heard a noise and turned to see Emma standing behind him. She was carrying a tray of food and had tears running down her face.
She sat next to him and placed the food behind him. "Blaine," she said, crying, "I don't know why this happened to you. I don't know why, after all you're already gone through, this had to happen. You're had an incredible life, Blaine, and I wish I could say that in a good way." She paused and took a deep breath, trying to slow her tears.
"But despite everything you've gone through, you're still here. You're still alive. Just the fact that you made it to eighteen and your high school graduation is amazing. From what happened to you at your first high school, I know how bad it got. And then in March…" Emma trailed off and looked at her hands. "Blaine, there's something for you to do in this world. Something that's going to make a huge difference. Somewhere, there is someone searching for help that only you can give them."
"How can you know that?" Blaine whispered, leaning into her. He hated how much she smelled like his mother.
"I don't know Blaine, I just do. I'm not saying that you had to go through this pain, that all these bad things had to happen to you so you could help someone someday. That's definitely not what I mean. I just… Living through this is going to be hard, I know it is, but if you can do it, nothing will ever be able to touch you."
"They both sat in silence for a few moments, save their sniffling from crying. "What am I supposed to do now? I know I'm eighteen, and I'm an adult, but… But I'm not. I'm still a kid. I can't be an adult about this."
Emma sighed and pulled Blaine closer to her. "Oh sweetie, I know." They sat in silence for a few more moments before Emma spoke up again. "I have no idea what to say to you, Blaine. I just don't know how to help you. But if you ever need me, don't be afraid to call me. I know that this is hard, and I know that this seems like the end of the world, and I know it seems unfair. But you have to believe that you will get through this."
Eventually, sometime after midnight, Emma headed home, promising that she'd be back tomorrow. And as promised, she did show up the next day. And a few times the next day. And the next day. It would've been over bearing if Blaine hadn't known that he needed her. And everyday it was a battle. A battle between himself and the need for the pain to all be over. But whenever he was there, had made his decision, he remembered his junior year.
You guys are young. I want you to promise me that no matter how depressed you get, no matter how hopeless or alone you feel, you'll try your best to imagine all of the amazing experiences you have ahead of you.
So he did. And two weeks after graduation, Blaine was ready to go. He had sold all four of his parents' cars, deleted all their cell phones and bank accounts. He'd identified the bodies and had sold the house. All the money his parents and grandparents had were now in Blaine's bank account, since his mother had been an only child she was supposed to get all his grandparent's money when they died. Earlier that morning he'd packed up all his stuff and bought a plane ticket to LA.
The only things he'd kept that had anything to do with Lima were his clothes, his guitar, his laptop, a box of miscellaneous things from high school—his heart shaped eye patch, his warbler tie, etc., and Kurt's 2012 Christmas present. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to give it away yet. Opening his laptop, sitting on the floor of his empty home, Blaine logged on to his email, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and youtube accounts and deleted them. Within thirty minutes, Blaine Anderson had been erased from the internet.
And now it was time to erase himself from Lima.
Blaine thanked his mom, where ever she was, for convincing him to apply for schools all over the United States, even if he had thought college in LA was ridiculous. But here he was, signed up to live in the dorm. He met his new roommate, Joseph something-or-other. Whatever. He was funny, really nice, and was more than happy to give Blaine his privacy.
Knowing that he needed it, Blaine had quickly found himself a therapist in LA, and started making appointments around his class schedule. The first time he was there, he noticed this really pretty, yet obviously shy girl. And over the next few weeks, he watched her while waiting for his appointment to start.
She had long dark curly hair and green eyes. She had a sad smile and always wore cute vintage-like dresses. She reminded him a little of Abby in the way she held herself, the texture of her hair, and the color of her eyes. He was so lost in staring at her that he barely registered her walking towards him.
"Hi, my name's Jayden. I noticed that you're here when I'm here much of the time, so I thought I'd stop by and say hello." She smiled widely at him, and it wasn't her usual sad smile that she wore when the receptionist talked to her, or the doctor called her name.
Her happy smile was so gorgeous that Blaine couldn't help but smile back. "Hi. I'm Blaine."
Aaaaaaaaand there you go The end of the worst few years of Blaine's life. But doesn't that mean it can only get better from there? ;) Originally this was one chapter. Which is why the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this one seem so abrupt. But I suppose it's okay. :)
Slight tangent: I don't know when different state Primaries are, but California's is tomorrow and I'm a poll worker for it. I know the Primaries don't really seem like they matter all that much, and less people go out for those than the actual elections, but everyone find out when you're Primary is, and go vote! (Kay. Tangent over).