"Bells you have to eat." Angela has been pleading with me to eat a stupid peanut butter sandwich for an hour.
"Please, just 1 bite." Her eyes were glistening with tears and droopy with exhaustion.
I took the stupid sandwich from her hands in muted disgust and ate the whole thing in 3 bites. She gave me a small smile and left the room.
I had to admit it tasted good.
I hated putting Ang through this. She's always trying to help; helping me out of bed, brushing my hair, one time she even had to get me out of the shower. It's not like I don't appreciate it, it's just I don't see the need. I don't see the need for anything anymore. I could go days just looking at the ceiling, saying nothing, doing nothing if Angella let me. She's really the reason why I'm alive right now.
Thinking about this made a new wave of moisture come to my eyes.
It wasn't long till I was sniffling and it was becoming hard to breath. This is all I've been doing for the last 24 hours. How many minutes, hours or days of my life will I waste crying.
There's a knock at the door. I try to pull myself together but the doors already open and I'm cradled in Angela's arms.
"There're gone Ang. Forever. There're not coming back." I sound more like a dying cat the way I screeched it.
"Shhhh. It's ok. There're in a better place. Right now all of them are looking at you from up there." She pointed to the roof.
"There're all there. Just watching you. They'd want you to be happy, not about the situation, but they'd want you to get your life going." She wiped away my tears and rubbed my back. I knew she was right. Of course she was and it's not like I don't want to, it's just so hard.
"We're in year 12, graduating so soon, we have so much coming for us, then it's a whole new world. Make the most of it." She kissed my cheek and walked out the door.
My family died, but more than that I've died. How can I live when the people I love the most are gone. They can't love me anymore. Why should I live when there gone?
Why me?
It's hard to live a life when it's shattered.
So I have to move on; pick up what I can and start fresh. It will never be like it used to, but it's a chance.
And that got me thinking.
A fresh start.