Why does she look so peaceful?, I thought to myself. 'Tell me Ojou-sama... why do you make my heart race? It's unfair... you and I aren't meant to be together and we will never be...'

I've been sitting by her bedside for a few hours now. My legs are tucked neatly as part of my rigid position on the floor, my muscles ached but I didn't care. Night after night, I would sneak in her room each night to watch her sleep, my position would never change; it has already been part of my routine.

'No. This is my duty... I should be able to watch over her at all times.' The logical part of my brain tells me that I should just send one of my paper clones to watch over my charge... however, this overwhelming paranoia that I have every time that we are apart tells me otherwise.

Since she was a princess, her dorm unit was larger than usual. She actually shared her room with our kid-teacher and her best friend but the latter two slept in a separate room that was only divided by a wooden sliding door. That was advantageous since she can keep her privacy and be comfortable around others too.

Her side of the room was faintly lit by the threads of evening light gently filtered by the thin curtains. She usually kept her bedside lamp on but not tonight. 'Maybe she forgot to turn it on... or she left it off on purpose— Gah! Stop rambling Setsuna!'

Her elegant hair, a lovely color of chocolate, seemed to reflect the pale moonlight. It shines just like her personality.

Unable to resist the goddess in front of me, I reached out for the brown stray threads that were resting on her right cheek and guided it back to the others; my knuckles softly brushing the side of her face.'...you're so beautiful, Ojou-sama..." I wished that I could also openly touch her in the daytime.

There was a slight shift on her sleeping face; her brow flinched for a split-second. It was a tiny gesture but it was still noticed. I quickly retracted my wandering hand with a pounding heart. That was close. What if she wakes up and catches me? I should get out of her room now.

It was better to be safe than sorry.

Suppressing the dull ache in my chest, I silently rose from my sitting position, taking extra care to make sure that my wooden sheath did not make any sound as well. With quiet precision, I distributed my weight so that it will not make any sounds on the creaking bedroom floor as I began to walk away from the most important person in my life.

'I'll see you tomorrow night..."

My Dearest by Magister of Discord

— So everything that makes me whole... I will dedicate them to you now... —

Our relationship was somewhat of a bodyguard and charge. We were required to stay on a professional level. Of course, I had no problems with the whole arrangement before. When I look back, it all started when we were mere children although I can barely remember the sketchy details of my childhood since most of my memories were of my swordsmanship training...

"Again."

"Yes, master."

My master swung her sword hard at me and I raised mine in time to block; but her last attack was stronger than usual so I was sent skidding a few feet from where I was standing. My young arms shook from the stress of shielding myself.

She was moving so fast, I couldn't see her even if I don't blink. Attacks came from all directions and I staggered through each block, my body screaming in exhaustion but my will was greater.

"Keep your sword up at all times. The moment you put it down, that's the time that your charge will go down as well."

I held my blade proud just like what she told me.

"Do not restrict yourself to just one type of sense when in battle. Learn to use all of your senses and put them to your advantage. You should be able to tell where the next hit will come from even if you are blinded or crippled. Do you understand?"

I nodded at her and she disappeared again.

—

Stay focused, my mentor once told me when I almost forgot to block the incoming attack from her. One error and your charge might get hurt. One slip and your charge might be taken away from you. One mistake and your charge might die.

"Do you want that to happen Setsuna?"

"No, master. I'd rather die than let that happen..."

"Good." She nodded at me and waved her hand in dismissal.

My young mind did its best to grasp the important concept of protecting another being. I quickly came to a single conclusion: you have to give your everything to protect your charge... even if that would mean that you would lose your life for her if necessary.

Your life is worthless compared to the one you are supposed to protect.

That is right. My life is worthless and I shouldn't even exist. If not for master, I would've given up this early in life.

I can remember the smile on her face when we first saw each other.

The task was pretty simple. I had to watch her from afar and make sure that no one would dare to lay a hand on her. It was boring at first since I had to keep myself out of her sight and observe her everyday lifestyle. She would rise a few hours after I had woken up, be swarmed with the housemaids to prepare for her day, endure her private lessons and have a few moments in her day for leisure.

In my opinion, her life was bland and I thought my life was.

Within a few years, I had already graduated from my training with flying colors and was ready to take on my charge, alone. Yes, we did interact with each other before that. She was the lone heiress which added more pressure on my shoulders but I didn't mind it since I only needed to focus on my task.

She would occasionally smile at me whenever our paths seldom crossed and I would nod politely in her direction and continue our charade. Her dad and granddad both held me in high regards and I didn't want to disappoint them. My face was always stoic since I had to act calm and cool every time.

I felt trapped like a caged animal. I had to stick to the rules all the time. I had to maintain the image of being a perfect bodyguard and please them. I had to live a life that I was forced to live. No one ever asked me how I felt. No one cared, except her.

My world started spinning again.

- Mahou Sensei Negima! -

"Would you like to play with me?" She was holding a ball and was smiling at me. I dumbly stared at her in reply which earned a pout on her young nine-year-old face. Why would she play with me? I was supposed to be just a bodyguard to her. I didn't know what to do.

Silence awkwardly passed between us and she prompted me again. She must be extra bored today. "I said, would you like to play with me?" Her tone sounded kind of desperate. Poor girl.

I rose from my sitting position and decided to humor her. I had nothing to lose anyway. I removed the sheathed weapon strapped to my shoulders and allowed my sword to rest just below the shady patch of grass where I was sitting a while ago. I inwardly sighed at what I was about to do.

I had never played any game before but if this should improve my relationship with my charge, then so be it.

The princess' face lit up like the sun when I approached her and extended my hands so that we can play. She immediately ran backwards to get in position for the activity while I remained rooted to where I was standing. She raised both hands and eagerly threw the ball in my direction, a grin plastered on her face.

Without missing a heartbeat, I caught the ball. I returned it to her with a calculated throw. She also caught it and I heard the melodic sound of her giggle as an approval. Two more rounds had passed of passing the ball between us and she was clearly enjoying herself. For some reason, my mood mirrored hers and before I could control myself, I was also expressing my enjoyment as we continued our game.

With one final catch, she ended our game. We were both covered in sweat from the fun activity; both of our breathing was a bit ragged. Who knew that playing could take so much energy out of me? I thought that training was already tiring.

She still openly grinned at me, her eyes reflected her happiness, and approached me once again. She had the ball tucked at her side with one hand and extended the other hand towards me.

"That was fun. We should do it again." I curtly nodded at her words. "We've been seeing each other for almost five years but until now I don't know your name yet..."

I blinked. I was utterly dumbfounded that she cared enough to know my name. I was shocked. Really shocked. I was beginning to see my charge in a different light. I had a feeling that we would really get along in the future, that we would be great friends.

"My name's Konoka... what's yours?" She was still extending her hand in front. Her grin shifted to a soft and gentle smile that seemed to translate to a thousand emotions. It was so powerful; I found myself staring at her again.

Shaking my head back to reality, I awkwardly gripped her hand and slowly said my name with a slight flush on my cheeks.

"That's a beautiful name, like an angel's", she giggled again as she repeated my name. She had no idea that she was more of an angel than I ever will be.

- Mahou Sensei Negima! -

My unhealthy obsession will be the death of me, sooner or later.

When I was about to reach the door that would lead outside her bedroom, I stole another glance at her face. She looked really serene in her sleep which made me a bit envious. Something tugged at my heartstrings and I my precious control snapped faster than I could get my rationality back. I risked going back to my previous position, making sure that I will be silent all the way.

My mind worked in overdrive as I tried to figure out which excuse I should tell her or her roommates in the morning if I should decide to stay overnight in her room.

'Why am I doing this? What am I supposed to do once she wakes up? What should I tell her?'

Seconds passed and I was now having a discussion with myself. Reaching a decision whether to stay or not was becoming harder and harder now as time went by.

'Why can't I make up my mind?'

I looked at her sleeping face again. Is it worth it? I shook my head again but continued stepping forward.

'I'm gonna get in trouble for this...'

Ten meters. What would she think of me now?

'She'll hate me... I'm sure."

Six meters. Get a grip, I told myself. Now is the time to be rational again.

'Quick Setsuna! Change your mind before she wakes up!'

Three meters. Stop reacting like a giddy schoolgirl. It's just Kono— no; I mean, Ojou-sama.

'Yes' 'No' 'Yes' 'No' 'Yes' 'No' 'Yes' 'No'

Just get out—

Momentarily forgetting where I was for a second, my foot got caught on a slightly raised floorboard.

—The action pitched me forward and startled me from my thoughts; next thing I knew, I was moving towards my sleeping princess at an unwanted pace.

The world slowed down; my heartbeat increased in speed.

I helplessly flailed my hands in the air which sent my sheathed sword to the ground with a clang! on the floor. Unfortunately, this was heard by the sleeping beauty who had shifted in her bed. I didn't pay attention to that.

I had a bigger problem.

I was unable to control the direction of my fall. Since I was about a meter away from her, the calculated destination of my fall would be directly on her bed. Thankfully, I was able to shift the momentum of my descent. My upper body's weight sank to the bed and my hands were expertly positioned on either side of her head.

My face, now a shade deeper than red, was a few centimeters above hers. Just a few more inches below and I could touch her lips with mine— wait what? What were you thinking? This cannot be good— I held my breath and wished that she wouldn't feel anything and continue sleeping.

What have I gotten myself into? Kami-sama, please help me! Ojou-sama, please don't wake up! I swear, I would kill myself for this stupidity if—

Her eyes slowly opened and my heart jumped out of its cage. I was directly looking at her expressive eyes, still touched with sleep, and I found myself unable to look away.

"Secchan? What are you doing?" She breathed out.

- Mahou Sensei Negima! -

A/N: Aaaaannnddddd cut! Welcome to my first KonoSetsu fic! Please be gentle!

Magister of Discord out!