Look guys! I actually managed to get on the internet! And it's Saturday, which is the day I usually aim to post on. I know I keep saying this and I appologize, but it's not as edited at the others, seeing as I haven't been on a computer since Tuesday morning. But I'll shut up and let you read now. :)
Chapter 12
Blaine sighed and rolled over in bed. Today was the day that he was supposed to play at the café, and Carrie was out of town for the weekend. Sighing, he grabbed his phone and called Kurt's number.
"Hello. This is Kurt Hummel speaking. Why the hell is Blaine Anderson calling me before eight o'clock on a Saturday?" Kurt said, sounding tired.
"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." Blaine said.
"I suppose I deserve to be woken up at any odd hour every night for the rest of my life for the way I treated you. So no harm done. What's up?" Kurt laughed.
"You should really stop bringing that up." Blaine muttered. "I'm over it, I swear." He sighed again. "Can you do me a huge favor?"
"Anything." Kurt said. "What do you need?"
"Carrie's out of town and I have to go out tonight. Could you come and watch Rose for me around six?" Blaine asked.
"Playing at the café again?" Kurt asked. "Of course I'll come. I'd love to spend the evening with my favorite little girl."
"It's a good thing Rachel and Finn are having a boy, huh?" Blaine laughed. "Well, I have to go. Rose just woke up. I'll see you tonight?"
"Yep!" Kurt said, "I'll see you tonight."
The rest of the day went fairly smoothly. He and Rose made sugar cookies with some left over Christmas cookie dough. Rose decided to make cookie people with her dough, and made a whole cookie family. Afterward, she and Blaine decorated the cookies.
"These ones are me and Riley." Rose said, scooting two smaller cookie people towards Blaine. "And this one is you!" she showed him a taller cookie. "This one is Mis Carrie, and this one is Mr. Kurt." She showed him two other cookies. "And we're a cookie family!" she exclaimed.
Blaine smiled. "Why don't you save those and show them to Kurt tonight?"
Her eyes lit up. "That's a great idea! I can't wait until Mr. Kurt comes over tonight, Daddy! It's going to be so much fun!"
"Are you going to be a good girl and go to sleep without me or Miss Carrie here?" he asked.
"Yes." Rose said. "Because Mr. Kurt reads me a story, and he sits in my bed with me when I ask him."
Blaine laughed, since Kurt had only tucked her in once, but he knew just as much as she did, that Kurt would do anything for her. Just like he would. Just like Carrie would. "I like your cookie family." Blaine said. "Why did you choose Riley, me, Carrie, and Kurt?"
"Because you're my best friends." She said, playing with her cookie people. "And I want cookie me to have her best friends with her so she doesn't feel lonely. And then when Riley has to be with her parents, or Daddy is with Miss Carrie, or when Miss Carrie is at work, or when Daddy is with Mr. Kurt, I always have someone to play with. Like person me!"
Blaine laughed and kissed her cheek, helping her off the counter. "What do you say you and me go out to lunch? We can go to that sandwich place you like." Blaine offered.
Rose's eyes lit up like they always did when she was excited. "Really, Daddy? I love that place!"
"I know." Blaine grinned, handing his daughter her jacket. Do you want to go now, or are you not hungry yet?"
"Now. I'm starving Daddy." She said, sliding her arms into the sleeves of her jacket and her feet into her shoes. She waited semi-patiently by the door until Blaine was ready to go. He helped her buckle into her car seat before heading to the front of the car. After eating their sandwiches, Blaine took his daughter to an ice cream place near by.
"This day has been so much fun, Daddy." Rose said, hugging his arm as they walked out to the car. "I love you, Daddy."
Blaine smiled down at her. "I love you too, sweetheart. So much."
Kurt showed up at six pm on the dot. Blaine opened the door and smiled. "Hey, Kurt."
Kurt grinned. "Hello, Blaine." Rose came running from the living room where she had been coloring. "Hey there Rose!"
"Mr. Kurt! Mr. Kurt!" she grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the kitchen. "Look at the cookies Daddy and I made this morning!"
Blaine watched as she explained each cookie to Kurt. After a few minutes, she got bored and went back to her coloring. "Okay." Blaine began to explain, "The numbers for the café, my cell, the café owner's cell, both of her California grandparents' numbers, and Carrie's cell phone are on this list on the fridge. There's lasagna in the oven for dinner and it should be done in about fifteen minutes. Her bed time is usually somewhere between seven thirty and eight, but she didn't nap very well today so she'll probably be tired sooner. I should be home around midnight, if not a little before. After she falls asleep, feel free to do whatever you want. If you need me for anything just call me and I'll be home as soon as I can get here."
Kurt laughed. "Calm down, Blaine. I'll take great care of her. We'll have fun! Maybe we'll play a game, or watch a movie, or put a puzzle together or something. We'll have fun!"
Blaine smiled and grabbed his jacket and keys. "I'll be home before twelve." He promised, heading out the door. Right before the door closed, he turned to see Kurt, looking so beautiful, sitting in his kitchen. Within arms length, yet still out of reach. Blaine sighed sadly and turned back to the car.
He really needed to stop feeling that way about Kurt. All these feelings that were being resurfaced needed to go away.
Since Blaine had left early, he arrived at the café with a couple minutes to spare and spent the extra time tuning his instruments to as perfect as he could get them. He looked out and, while he saw much of his usual crowd, there were many new faces—he assumed that everyone was here visiting family for Christmas and New Years.
"Hey there, everybody." He welcomed. "So to all the unfamiliar faces, I'll be here from seven to eleven thirty—and then I have to get home to take care of my four year old monster, I mean, daughter." Some people laughed. "So, how this works is I play a few songs, and then I take requests. Write your request on the pieces of paper that you can get from any employee, write the song on it, and a dedication if you want, and I'll draw a song," he flipped off his hat, "out of this."
In the back of the room, Blaine saw a very pregnant brunette in the corner of his eye. "So," he said, slightly distracted at seeing Rachel, "I guess here we go."
After a few moments of silence, Blaine went into the opening song that he chose on nights like this—when he couldn't get his past off his mind. 'It doesn't help that you're willingly asking a part of it into your life. Kurt will forever remind you of the worst year of your life, because he unknowingly started it.' Blaine sighed at himself and started the song.
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
Blaine sighed before smiling at the crowd. "This next artist was one of my all time favorites in high school—some of you might recognize it." He smiled to himself when he saw the faces light up in recognition at the introduction. He found himself laughing at the song—whether it was the irony that Miss Katy Perry would write a song that seemed just for him, or that he was just having fun.
All this money can't buy me a time machine
Can't replace you with a million rings
I should've told you what you meant to me
Cause now I pay the price
And in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all out promises
Be us against the world
And in another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
He thought he saw Rachel frown in the back, but shrugged it off. Throughout the show, amidst different requests and dedications, Blaine squeezed in high school favorites of his—Adele (Rolling in the Deep and Someone Like You), Christina Perri (Jar of Hearts), and Taylor Swift (I'd Lie).
It was eleven twenty nine when he decided to play his last song. Blaine bit his lower lip, sighed, and started to play the intro chords. "This song is one I've never played, but had always wanted to. It represented everything for me—having to say good bye to my brother at fourteen, and my boyfriend at seventeen, losing my grandparents, parents, and sister at eighteen, my best friend at twenty." Blaine paused and looked out into the audience. "And no matter what I do or where I go, they'll always be with me, and I'll always be thinking of them."
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay
Blaine packed up his stuff and walked out to the parking lot to put his guitar in his car. He leaned over and rested his head against the door frame. After he'd finished the last song, the room had been dead quiet. Everyone had known about his past (minus the Kurt and Jayden parts) but he'd never addressed it in front of anyone—not even Carrie.
And everyone had remained quiet as he packed up his stuff in a daze, everyone either afraid or unwilling to break the silence. He waved good bye to the café owner, who was smiling at him sadly, and as soon as he was out the door Blaine heard the buzz of talking immediately start.
He was about to get into his car and head home when he heard someone behind him. "Blaine, wait!"
He turned and saw Rachel running towards him. Ignoring the fact that her swollen stomach wouldn't let her pull him in too close, Rachel wrapped her arms around Blaine's neck and hugged him. Then she stepped back and hit his chest.
"Ow!" he exclaimed, "What was that for?"
"For being an absolute idiot!" she cried.
"Okay, yeah, I know I'm an idiot. That's not new news. What did I do, exactly?" Blaine asked, rubbing his chest. Damn, that girl could hit hard.
"You wouldn't let anyone near you for months after you and Kurt broke up. You didn't tell anyone you were being bullied in high school until you ended up in the hospital. When your family died you just upped and ran away, leaving everyone behind. When you got a baby you ran off again and wouldn't let anyone help raise her. I'm not sure if you have trust issues, have a need to be incredibly self sufficient, are selfish, are just stupid, or all of the above!" she said.
Blaine was shell shocked. The only person who was willing to talk to him this way was hours away in Florida. He just stared at her.
"It's like you don't even pretend to act like you care about other people. It's not like you're the only person who has had a tough life. Look, Blaine. Yeah. Your life sucks. It's worse than most people would ever dream up, it's more than people would wish on their worst enemy, and it's more than anyone should ever have to go through. But you know what? It happened. Almost eight years ago. Deal with it. Get over it. Move on. It happened, and there's nothing you can do to change it.
"You're so afraid of losing things you've already lost, that you stop yourself from moving on. Self sufficiency isn't going to bring you eighteen year old self back. Pushing everyone out of your life isn't going to bring your family back. Refusing to let people into your life isn't going to bring Rose's mother back. Maybe you should stop letting fear push you away and into moping about how you can't get what you want, and reach in there and take what you need."
Rachel reached up on her toes to kiss Blaine on the cheek before turning off and climbing into her car. Blaine took a deep breath, got in his car, and drove home. Kurt and Rose were cuddling on the couch, asleep, and Blaine didn't have the heart or energy to wake them so he covered them in a blanket before walking back to his bedroom.
Then he pulled out his phone and called his speed dial number two. It rang three times before a voice picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey, Carrie. It's Blaine."
"Is everything okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just. I know you're in Florida with your family, but I really needed to talk to you." Blaine muttered.
"Of course. You know I'm always here for you. What do you need?" She asked.
"Well, I haven't always been completely honest with you. I mean, you know vaguely that I had trouble in high school with bullies, that I lost my best friends in high school and college, and I lost my family the summer after high school." Carrie made a noise to indicate she knew what he was talking about. "I haven't told anyone, not even my therapists, everything. And I really want you to know." Blaine sighed. This was going to be difficult.
"Of course, honey. I'm here to listen."
Blaine took a deep breath. "it all started when I was fourteen, and had just come out…"
South Carolina is fun-but soooooo so humid. My hair has lost it's ability to de-frizz. But that's okay cause I get it from my dad's side of the family, so we all have frizzy crazy hair! And my uncle has been kind enough to let me use the internet on his phone, which is why this has noot been edited very well at all. I WILL go back over it when I have internet next week, but I wanted to try to get this up.
I do have a quesiton though. Tuesday morning while driving to the airport, I wrote a silly and short drabble about Jayden and Blaine and how they named Rose. And I was wondering if you wanted to read it! I can either post it as it's own mini-chapter sometime midweek (Wednesday, maybe...?) or I can just hook it on the end of next week's chapter, or I can post it on my Tumblr and give you the link, or you don't have to care about reading it at all! Just wondering what you guys were intereted in! Let me know! And thanks for reading-you guys are seriously amazing, you have no idea.