"Secchan... I'm scared..." I stared at my bodyguard's gentle eyes. I felt really nervous. I involuntarily swallowed the lump in my throat and shakily laced my fingers around her neck. I whispered to her as I continued to lock my gaze with her. "...I d-don't know what to d-do. This is a f-first f-for m-me..."

I wasn't scared of getting caught. I was just scared to take a leap of faith and dive into a new world of discovery with this act that we will be performing tonight.

I was just scared of opening this new chapter in my life. I was scared of change but she wasn't. My confident bodyguard will never hurt me, I'm sure. I trust her with my life.

She — who was hovering above me — smiled softly at me. I was still trembling, and she caressed the side of my face. "Hush, Kono-chan... Don't worry..." She kissed my forehead; her lips were lingering longer than what was intended. "If it h-helps y-you t-to f-feel b-better... this is a first for me as well..." Her face was really red from embarrassment. Her hands were now placed on each side of my face and she moved one of them to rest just above my naked chest.

"I'll t-take care of y-you... tonight."

I suddenly took a sharp intake of air and allowed my pulse to skyrocket. Tonight would surely change my life forever. "...r-right. I t-trust y-you too... Secchan..." I closed my eyes when I felt the hand on top of my naked body trail lower. "...be g-gentle, o-okay?" I added in a small voice.

"...of course, Ojou-sama..." Then she began to move and I tightened my grip on her.

For a few minutes, we were silent; Only the sounds of our uneven breathes could be heard. I swallowed my nervousness again.

"Se-secchan?" Her finger movements were uncertain and extra cautious. She was really trying to be gentle, how typical of her yet so sweet. I called her name again since I suddenly felt paranoid though she was clearly with me in bed. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't.

'Somethings not right...' I called out to her one more time.

She didn't respond and I began to feel anxious. Why won't she say something? I might have been panicking at the moment... but I couldn't help it. Something doesn't feel right...

She kept moving against me, wordlessly. I wanted to tell her to stop for a minute but my mind had shut down; I had surrendered to the overwhelming sensations that I was feeling.

Her hand continued to wander south, leaving heated trails on my skin. My subconscious kept flashing red flags but I ignored it.

How I wished that I didn't but it was already too late.

Then I felt it. No, it wasn't pleasure that I had experienced. No, it definitely was far from bliss.

"How is it, Konoka-Ojousama?" The voice clearly wasn't Setsuna's. My heartbeat rate doubled in speed at the realization. I wasn't dreaming anymore. This is a nightmare.

I screamed and screamed till I couldn't scream no more.

My Dearest IV by Magister of Discord

— You're not alone anymore... you say and laugh at me —

I remember the first time I met her personally. I think I was about four years old and she was five. She was the most adorable angel that my eyes had lain upon. I giggled when she hid behind the adult who was with her. My daddy told me to approach her and I did.

"My name's Konoka! What's yours?" I extended my hand just like how I was taught and waited for her reaction. She had a cute blush on her face and she stuttered out something incoherent. Puzzled but delighted at her reaction, I looked at the adult who was with her for an explanation. She told me that her pupil wasn't very good at socializing but she was already being trained to be my bodyguard since birth. I did not understand what she just told me so I went back to my father.

I asked my daddy what a bodyguard was; he ruffled my hair and said that I was too young to understand. "...run along and go play with your new friend for awhile since I have something to talk about with Aoyama-sama here." He told me that we can play any game that I want and she told the other girl to bring me back before sundown. I didn't fully understand what happened that time but I didn't care.

We played and played like normal children do. She was a bit stiff to my liking but she still went along with what I had planned for our playdate. We spent the afternoon playing ball and hide-and-seek. While playing, she wasn't having the same amount of fun that I had, but I can see in her eyes the happiness that she was trying to hide. I didn't ask her why she felt that way.

I just wanted someone to play with since I was always surrounded by adults. They wouldn't understand me and I wouldn't understand them... but she does and I'm thankful for that. Life didn't seem boring to me anymore since she and I met that day.

I felt alive once more ever since my mother passed away a year ago; my whole life changed. I didn't find any new toy or any other material things that my daddy always buys for me but I was happy. I had found something much more valuable than all of our riches combined.

I had found a friend.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to years. Secchan's training separated her from me and I was forced to listen to my countless tutors' lessons each day. My time with her was lessened dramatically since we were from two different worlds. I was an heiress and she was a bodyguard. It wasn't fair.

One day, my father told me that I would succeed our family in the future. To succeed what exactly, he didn't tell me. Grandpa came into the room and told me that someday I would have to marry someone from the other regions and join the two families since we are one of the most powerful — in a sense — families in our area. He was going to send me to the school where he was the principal so that he could find me the right partner.

I couldn't believe what I had heard.

I didn't realize the full implications of the words I said that night until I was much, much older. "I don't want to go anywhere! ...and I don't want to marry when I grow up! I just want to be with Secchan forever!" I vehemently shook my head and ran towards my room. I caught a glimpse of Grandpa Konoemon's face and he was disappointed to say the least. Father called out my name but I didn't stop. I went straight to my bed and cried my eyes out. They don't know what's good for me. They wouldn't even tell me the whole truth.

I know that they are hiding something from me.

'How could they do this to their own granddaughter?'

It wasn't fair. Life isn't fair. Nothing is fair anymore.

— Mahou Sensei Negima —

"O-ojou-sama! P-please st-stop! What we are d-doing is inappropriate." My bodyguard was still as stiff as a stick like always, and I like her for it. We were only holding hands; technically, I was holding her hand while going on a casual walk around the school grounds. "...what if someone s-sees uh-us?"

Grandpa was clearly disappointed with Secchan's performance when we were still kids. She wasn't able to save me when I was drowning but at least she tried. Besides, the whole thing was my fault. That was the biggest mistake that I had done and I already apologized endlessly to everyone for worrying them, including Secchan. Anyway, Daddy jumped into the river after us and the rest was history.

"Nonsense Secchan!" I waved our joined hands in the air to prove my point. "Everything's fine, see?" Her face was so red and she looked really cute when she's flustered. I like it.

"...we're not— I'm not supposed to act like this. I'm only your—" I flicked her on the forehead with my free hand to shut her up. I pouted while she rubbed her forehead. "—I'm sorry, Ojou-sama." She tightened her grip on my hand and my heart skipped a beat.

We strolled not just around campus but I also led her to where the world tree was. Suddenly, it began to pour without any warning. I pulled her harder as we ran to take shelter under the huge branches; she had released my hand, much to my chagrin, when we were finally a bit safe from the heavy rains. I giggled to mask my disappointment. "...sorry that we got wet. But I have to admit, I had fun today..."

She stared at me as if I had grown a second head before shaking her own head, as if reprimanding me. "You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry since I was careless and—" I glared at her for being hard on herself. "—I'm going to be quiet now." Good girl, I thought to myself and laughed like a giddy schoolgirl when she looked at the sides, her face turning red once more.

A minute passed between us in awkward silence.

My skipped another beat when she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me tight against her. "...Secchan..."

Since she was slightly taller, my face met her neck and I could feel the warmth coming from her, especially from her throbbing pulse point. I settled for tucking myself under her chin and I could picture her face being atomic red by now. "I had fun too... K-Kono-chan..." Her voice was too low for anyone to hear,even quieter than a whisper, but I still heard her and it made my heart flutter once more.

"I'm glad..."

During that time, my relationship with my bodyguard evolved into something more — or at least from my point of view. Our feelings were never equal to begin with. How can life be so cruel?

Hey Secchan, how do you feel about me?

Do we breathe the same air?

Do we hear the same song in our heads?

Do we see the same star-filled sky every night?

Hey Secchan, are you thinking of me too?

Do we feel the same chilling wind that tickles our skins?

Do we taste the same sweet drop of honey on our tongues?

Do we realize that we are connected in more ways than one?

Hey Secchan, do you love me like I love you?

— Mahou Sensei Negima —

"...Konoka! Konoka! Wake up!" I could feel that someone was shaking me hard. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. It was like I was under a really strong sleeping spell. "Wake up please! It's just a nightmare!" I could feel the hands on my shoulders bury themselves harder and the shaking seemed to intensify; I was beginning to feel nauseous even in my semi-asleep state. "You're just having a nightmare! It's alright... wake up please! Damn it Konoka!"

A slap to my right cheek broke the spell. I nearly jumped out of bed but I wasn't able to, since something really solid and hard collided with my forehead. The world spun for a full minute. "Ouch! That was mean... Geez..."

"Ow! What the hell Konoka?!" I then heard her mutter a string of curses which would've surely made anyone blush. The voice belonged to my roommate and best friend, Kagurazaka Asuna. "...this is what I get when I try to wake you up... honestly... what did you dream about anyway?" She sat on the stool adjacent to our bunk-bed and rubbed her sore forehead.

"It was nothing..." I pulled the covers up to my nose to hide my red face but my roommate tried pulling them back. "Nothing to worry about, Asuna..."

She yanked the covers from my hands and scowled at me. "Nothing?! That wasn't nothing! You might as well have awakened the whole dorm!" She jerked a finger in our kid teacher's direction, snoring safely from us in the far corner of the room. "I'm completely surprised that Negi-bozo over there didn't wake up."

I shook my head at her and tried to dispel her doubt. Her scowl died and she settled to stare at me with her brows furrowed and her lips formed a frown; it reminded me of my grandfather whenever I refused to accept his selected candidates in marriage. "…really Asuna, I wasn't dreaming anything that bad."

She stared at me, unable to believe what I just told her. I smiled at her, feeling the anxiety and fear coming back to my system.

In truth, the dream was horrible. Tears began to dance around the corner of my eyes but they did not spill, not yet. I tried to suppress the shudder that I felt but Asuna still noticed it. She glared at me again. "You were screaming and sobbing at the same time, Konoka…and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty!" I gasped at her. I admit that I do have occasional nightmares but that was the first time I woke up like that. Even I was shocked.

She seemed to notice the sudden change in my behavior since she relaxed a bit and sat beside me on the bed. She tried to lighten the mood.

"Hey... sorry for slapping you."

"...it's alright. I'd do the same if it was you instead of me."

"Yeah...I'm sure you will."

"...right."

"Konoko-chan... Everything's gonna be alright."

I nodded at her slowly. Tears were forming at the corner of my eyes again. Asuna frowned in understanding.

"I know that you miss her... we all do... it's almost three months now..." Asuna laid a hand on my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic smile. "If it's about Setsuna-san, you can tell me… because that's what best friends are for, right?"

A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it with one of my hands. I then squeezed her hand and smiled back. "...I'll tell you when I'm ready, thank you Asuna."

She held out her pinkie in front of me with a cheery smile. "Do you promise?"

"Yes, it's a promise."

Secchan... I know that you're still out there somewhere... I'm not going to give up on you... Come back to me please...

— Mahou Sensei Negima —

A/N: Oh my glob! Konoka?! Where did you hide Setsuna?! She was last seen in your dressing room, for junk's sake!

...never mind. My Dearest is still alive! We're almost there! Most of your questions will be answered as we dive deeper into the story. Enjoy the ride for now. xD

Magister of Discord out!