Okay I'm sorry, but rereading through this made me utterly depressed, because their tiny senior class is bigger than my whole high school. Because I go to the tiniest school on the planet not counting one room school houses and possibly even counting some of those... ANYWAY. Ignore my poor "small school" ranting and READ ON! :)
Chapter 19
Wednesday was a fairly stressful day for Blaine. In the morning, he arrived at school and lined his kids, along with Miss Stephanie's students (the other kindergarten classroom at the school) by last name in alphabetical order. Then they were given their 'graduation t-shirts' and tiny graduation caps.
After making sure shoes were tied and hats were on straight, they let them march down the aisle in the school gymnasium. They lined up and sat in the front two rows—they each had a chair with their name on it.
For a couple minutes each, Blaine and Stephanie talked about how great the kids were this year, how they were a joy to have in their classes, and how proud of them they were. Next the first grade teachers said how excited they were to have them in their classes next year.
Then they called each child's name, who would walk up to them. Stephanie would move the tassel to the other side of their hat and Blaine would hand them a diploma (which was really just a certificate he and Stephanie made on the computer and printed on pretty paper, but the kids loved it nonetheless). After, they had cake and ice cream. Many of the students came up to Miss Stephanie and Mr. A to give them handmade cards and gifts.
Later that afternoon, around lunch, Blaine went to eighth grade graduation. While he didn't have them for any classes, all of the teachers went to all the graduations, so he went. A couple of the students came up to him afterwards and told him how excited they were to take his geography class next year, and other History classes in the following years. He smiled, said that he was excited to have them, and congratulated them.
Usually, Blaine didn't have to worry much about the afternoon and evening graduations. He just had to get through kindergarten graduation and then just be able to sit through the last two. Blaine finished grading his last final test when his cell phone alarm went off, telling him to get ready for senior graduation. Rose still couldn't sit through three graduations in one day, so Carrie was watching her for the evening.
Blaine put on his dress pants, buttoned up his shirt, and tied his bow tie. After sliding on his shoes and grabbing his jacket, Blaine kissed his daughter good bye and walked to his car. He drove to the school and parked in faculty parking—the student lot was already full. As he walked in he saw many excited families and nervous graduates alike. Someone made an announcement into the microphone that families and friends needed to start making their way to their seats.
Blaine was walking to the front, where there was a special seat on stage for him. All of a sudden, there were hands in front of his eyes. "Guess who!"
Blaine grinned and turned. "Kurt, what are you doing here? I thought you were babysitting Levi tonight."
Kurt shrugged. "Change of plans. Rachel came down with the flu a couple hours ago, so she and Finn aren't going out."
Blaine frowned. "Bad luck. I hope she gets feeling better. And I hope that Levi and Finn don't get it."
Kurt nodded. "I do too. But I'm happy I get to hear my boyfriend's brilliant speech."
Blaine groaned "Ugh, don't remind me. I'm about to throw up, just thinking about it."
Kurt laughed and hugged him. "You'll do great. I believe in you." Just then Jeremy, the senior class president, told Blaine that they needed him on the stage. "Good luck!" Kurt called. Blaine flashed a smile Kurt's way before heading to the seat reserved for him. Next to him was the school's principal, next to her the senior class sponsor (also the science teacher), and next to him the college counselor. Blaine smiled at them as he sat down.
The junior class walked down the aisle and sat in the front row, and then Blaine watched as twenty-six graduates marched down the aisle and sat in their seats on the stage. The different class officers had different jobs throughout the program—one doing the welcome, one presenting the class gift, one introducing the college counselor (who presented different scholarships that some students got), and so on. Next Jeremy gave his speech and Blaine knew it was almost time for him.
Anna, the class secretary, walked up to the podium. "Our second year of high school, we walked into our World History class after not having History in a whole school year. Many of us despised History class in junior high, and we were not looking forward to going back. Then a new teacher, twenty three and fresh out of college at his first real class, showed up. Within minutes, he gained our full respect and attention. Throughout the course of the year, History became many of our favorite class. But we got more from Mr. A than the dates of battles in World War Two and the names of the past Presidents of our country.
"We all received somebody who cares about us; someone who's office door is open and cell phone is on twenty four seven if we need someone to talk to. We got someone who would drive hours to come get us if we found ourselves in uncomfortable situations, and we got someone who loves us unconditionally, no matter who or what we were or are. But we didn't just get a friend and learn about history, Mr. A taught us so much about life. So ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our speaker, Mr. Blaine Anderson."
There was a brief applause as Blaine took his notes and went up to the podium. He turned and smiled. "Thanks so much, Anna. You have no idea what that all means to me. I really do love you guys."
Blaine took a deep breath and glanced down at his neatly written notes. "I spent hours trying to decide what I should tell you guys. What would you want to hear? What is worthy of a graduation?" he paused and found Kurt in the audience. "I kept coming up with ideas and scraping them. Rose must think I'm crazy after how much I've been talking to myself this past week." A couple people laughed. "But then a couple days ago, my boyfriend game me an idea." Blaine stopped and hoped that Anna had been right—that everyone did know he was gay. There weren't too many shocked faces, so he went on.
"He said, 'What is the one thing you want these kids to know before they enter the real world? What would you say to them if they could only remember one thing you ever told them?' So I thought about that and I battled between a few things. So this is my last word: live."
"As cheesy as it sounds, now is the time. You're young, seventeen to nineteen year olds, with your whole lives ahead of you. Now is the time to live. Now is the time to have fun. Now is the time for everything. You guys have years of time to grow up—but for right now, make tons of friends, meet tons of different people. Now is when you'll make your lifetime friendships—but don't let go the ones you already have." Blaine saw a few girls link hands and smile at each other.
He went on. "Now is the time for adventure. Take a year of college in Europe. Go on that mission trip your friends have been talking about. Change your major six times. Take classes just for the fun of it. Try out for that TV show or singing or dancing competition. Date around. Live life to the fullest. You don't regret the things you shouldn't have done as much as you regret the things you should have. Celebrate the As you get on the papers and tests and classes you excel in. Celebrate your first real job. Celebrate your wedding. Celebrate your child's birth and birthdays after. Life is about adventure. Life is about living." Blaine glanced down at his notes and took another deep breath.
"But remember: life happens. Good things will happen. Celebrate them. But bad things will happen, too. Life is going to be throwing lemons at you as long as you're breathing, so get used to it." Everyone laughed. "You'll get into fights with your best friend. You and your college roommate will give each other the silent treatment. Your girlfriend will break up with you. Your grandparents will get sick. You'll end up in the emergency room with your kids.
"But that's life. It's going to kick you, hit you, scratch you, beat you up, and expect you to go on and pretend that you're all okay even when you're not. And all you can do is pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep pressing on, because there is sunshine once you get through the rain." Blaine looked at his students and knew that each of them knew he, even at only twenty six, was speaking from experience.
He took another deep breath to finish. "You guys are all extraordinarily talented, insanely smart, and extremely enthusiastic for life. You can set the world on fire, and you will burn brighter than the sun." he saw recognition flash across a few faces and he looked away from the graduating class to the people in the audience. "All I have to say now is: get ready world. The East Lima Academy class of 2021 is coming, and you better brace yourselves. Because if you don't, you'll be left in their dust. Congratulations, class of 2021. Go get 'em."
Everyone clapped, and a couple graduates grinned at Blaine. He grinned back and sat down. Then the principal and class sponsor walked up to the podium. After saying a couple words, they started handing out the diplomas. As the students walked out of the auditorium, Blaine and the other faculty exited the stage. Blaine was on his way to the lobby to congratulate a couple of students when he felt a pair of arms wind around him.
"Boo!" Kurt exclaimed in his ear. "You were amazing, Blaine."
Blaine laughed. "Thanks. And thanks for helping me out earlier this week. I couldn't have done it without you."
Kurt took his hand and they started walking to the lobby. Blaine glanced around and saw Anna, clutching Sara's hand, running towards him, looking excited. "Mr. A!" she called.
"Hey Anna, hello Sara." He smiled. "Kurt, this is my student Anna and her girlfriend Sara. Anna, Sara, this is my boyfriend Kurt."
Anna reached out to shake Kurt's hand, and Sara did also. Kurt's eyes bugged out at Sara's dress. "Hey, I designed that!"
Sara grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, my dad works at the company so I get some of the stuff before it's actually released to stores."
"Well it looks great on you." Kurt said.
Sara beamed at him. "Thank you."
"Mr. A!" Anna said, bringing everyone's attention back to her. "You'll never guess what happened last night. You know how Sara goes to Boston University? And how I got accepted there a couple weeks ago?" Blaine nodded. Anna held out her hand to show a simple yet pretty ring. "Sara and I are getting married."
"Wow!" Blaine exclaimed. "Anna that's amazing. Congratulations, both of you!"
"Thanks!" she giggled. "The wedding isn't for another year, but I was just too excited not to tell you."
Blaine grinned at the two girls. "I'm so happy for you two." The girls walked off, still holding hands. He turned to Kurt. "She turned eighteen eleven days ago, and she's already engaged. Wow. But I'm really excited for them."
He and Kurt went back to Blaine's house a couple hours later. Rose was asleep and Carrie was reading on the couch. She glanced up at them as they walked into the room. "Hey. How was the graduation?"
"Pretty good." Blaine said.
"I see you didn't die." Carrie teased.
"It was a close call." Blaine nodded seriously.
Carrie looked at Kurt. "I know he'll lie to me. How did he do?"
"Amazing." Kurt laughed. "He talked about living life to the fullest and not letting good things pass you by, and not to let the hard times get you down."
Carrie nodded. "I'm sure it was great." She turned back to Blaine. "The monkey's been asleep for about an hour now." She stood up. "I'll see you later?" she asked as she put her book in her bag.
"Yeah," Blaine said, "Could you watch her Friday night from seven to eleven maybe?" he asked.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked.
Blaine smirked. "Taking my boyfriend out. I want to celebrate the beginning of my summer vacation with him. Friday is my last day."
Kurt laughed. "This is a very odd way of asking someone out."
Blaine shrugged. "Since when have I been normal?"
Carrie laughed and kissed both Blaine and Kurt on their cheeks. "Silly boys. I'll see you on Friday, alright?" she walked out the door. Kurt then kissed Blaine goodbye and left as well. Blaine went into Rose's room, kissed her goodnight, and headed to his room for bed.
Friday night, Blaine and Kurt went to The Lima Bean and then Breadstix for old time sake. Afterward, they headed to the park they used to love to walk in, though neither of them mentioned that it was the same park that Kurt broke up with Blaine in. They walked silent, hand in hand, lost in their thoughts until they got to the bench that they sat on all those years ago. Quietly, they sat down on the bench and watched the other couples and families walk by.
Blaine glanced over at Kurt, tears threatening to appear. "Kurt, what are we doing?"
Kurt looked over at him, confused. "What do you mean?"
"You're going back to New York in a couple weeks." Blaine said sounding upset. "What are we doing?"
Kurt was still confused. "What do you mean? Why can't we just do the long distance thing again?"
"Oh, because it worked so well last time?" Blaine said, trying to stop his voice from rising.
"What, do you not trust me?" Kurt asked slightly offended.
Blaine couldn't stop the words before they left his mouth. "You did it once. Who's to say you won't do it again?" He regretted it the instant he said it, but somehow was too upset to care.
"How can you say that? You know me better than that!" Kurt exclaimed.
"Yeah, I thought I knew you then too. And look how that worked out for me." Blaine muttered.
"We're not teenagers anymore, Blaine." Kurt said. "We've matured and grown up."
"We?" Blaine exclaimed, suddenly enraged. "What the hell do you mean by 'we,' Kurt? How did I take part in ending our relationship last time?"
"You ran away before I could explain!" Kurt explained, failing in staying calm.
Blaine couldn't believe his ears. It was his fault that they hadn't made up because he was offended that Kurt had cheated on him? "Before you could explain? Explain what? How you were making out with another guy behind my back? About how you couldn't man up and just break up with me like any normal person before moving on to someone new? What was there left to explain? I didn't want to stick around and have a casual conversation with the guy who cheated on me!"
"Letting me talk to you about it would've been nice!" Kurt retorted.
"Except I have more self respect than that." Blaine said angrily.
"And then," Kurt went on, "you ran away to California and never let me apologize or try to make it up to you or anything."
"I didn't run away to LA; I went to college there." Blaine found he was yelling.
"Because you had to choose the college across the country? And you sold your house and got rid of any means of communication with you? That's running away Blaine." Kurt yelled back.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Blaine muttered. "I wasn't running away from you. A much as you might not believe it, my life didn't revolve around you! I don't know if you remember, but I had just lost my whole family in a plane accident. So excuse me if I wanted to get away from that while I was still grieving."
"But you never dealt with it! And you know what? You still haven't dealt with it. Bad things happen to everyone. But you want to know a secret? Everyone else accepts it and grows up! You're always going on about 'poor teenage Blaine who lost his family when he was eighteen, eight years ago. And he's so miserable and everyone should feel bad for him forever because he's so wounded. Blaine. Grow up. You're not eighteen anymore. They're gone and they're not coming back no matter what pity party you throw. You act like you're the only person who has ever lost anyone" Kurt breathed hard for a couple moments as Blaine stared at him.
"Your mom died when you were eight, Kurt. And you still had your dad. Who had a heart attack a couple weeks ago and you were a mess. Imagine if your dad, Carole, Finn, Rachel, and Levi all died in a car accident or something. You would be even more of a mess." Blaine said.
"Yes, but I wouldn't stop living because of it! I wouldn't expect every person I meet to feel bad for me! I wouldn't run away from everything!" They didn't know when they had, but Kurt and Blaine found that they were standing and yelling at each other. Neither of them cared that people were staring.
"You're not eighteen!" Blaine yelled.
"Neither are you!" Kurt responded. There was a long pause where the two just stared at each other in anger and disbelief. "You're so busy feeling bad for yourself that you can't keep up functional relationships with anybody, and I'm sick of it!" Kurt replied, equally as loud.
"Well then why don't you go running off to New York again find a new guy to fuck, and get the hell away from me and my daughter." Blaine said.
"Because you're so good for her yourself?" Kurt exclaimed, "She doesn't deserve to grow up with a dysfunctional father."
"You know what?" Blaine said. "Fuck you. I don't need you. So go back to New York and whore around like you know you want to."
Kurt just gaped at him before turning and walking away. Blaine called after him a couple times, immediately feeling bad for his words, but Kurt never turned. Blaine groaned and collapsed on the bench.
Blaine suddenly felt a strong hate for the stupid, cold, stone bench. Every time he'd lost Kurt, it had happened right here. It was where the worst couple months of his life began, and it was now where he lost what he considered the turning point of his life.
After what must have been an hour or two, Blaine pushed himself up off the bench and drove home. Carrie took one look at the distress on his face and took him into her arms. That was when Blaine let himself cry.
And she just sat there and let him.
I'M SORRY. WELL. I'M NOT. BUT. I JUST... sigh...