Chapter 2
He just wanted to run out the door, get on the train, get back home so he could read what was hidden from him until now. He didn't do that though. He stayed with Naruto, trying to calm the blond down because he was having a harder time to get use to the fact that Sasuke was gone.
"The reason behind his suicide was because he was gay."
When did his only sibling come out to Naruto? Pursing his lips at the thought, his arms wrapping around the blond's torso, feeling the shaking that was coming from the sob. He wanted to say that everything was going to be all-right but it would never be. He didn't have his brother and Naruto didn't have his best friend.
"Itachi-san I hate that guy that did it to him." Naruto sobbed as he wiped at his red eyes. He wanted to cause harm to the person that forced his friend into the position he was in. He wanted to get answers why someone would drive someone to the point of wanting to be six feet in the ground. "I hate him so much for doing that."
Nodding, unable to say something to him, to comfort him since he had that same hatred boiling in his blood. He wanted to do the same thing and yet he hated violence. Was this the only thing that was caused by his brother's death? Him wanting to cause harm to someone that he didn't even know.
Hearing something vibrate in someone's pocket – it wasn't him since he didn't feel anything – and looked at the sapphire eyes that were incased in red. Loosening the grip, and backing a few step away to give his friend privacy, he watched him fish it out of his pocket and flip it open.
Biting his lip, reading what was on it, seeing that his parents couldn't make it for dinner, he sighed. He was looking forward to it so he could get his mind off this tender subject, even if it was for only a little bit. Taking a shaky breath through his nose, one of the calming techniques his mother taught him when they were still dealing with Sasuke's death, he closed the phone after answering them. "You can stay a little longer if you wanted to."
Perking up with a blink, his hand reaching for the glasses that he set aside earlier, setting them on his face so he could see the blond clearly. "Didn't you have company coming?" It was a simple guess since Naruto was acting like he was defeated once more.
"Did. Oka-san and Oto-san cancelled the plans because something came up. They didn't say what though."
Nodding and sitting back down in the chair he was previously in, his hands touched the rough cover of the book that was the only lifeline he had to his deceased sibling. Looking at the eyes of his friend, seeing them almost hazy from defeat and not understanding it all, Itachi nodded once more.
It had to be something important, at least that's what Naruto hoped. Getting up and setting his phone back in his pocket, he walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. Maybe then he'll get the taste of tears out of his mouth and the after taste of everything else that was going on.
Flipping open the cover, the lone Uchiha stared at the cover page that was decorated in little felines and other things that were part of his brother's favorite things to do. That urge to throw it open to a random page, to see if it provided himself some answer for why his brother would do something like that, he shook his head. He wasn't going to do that. Not until he got home.
Walking back into the area where his friend was – and a reminder of who he lost – he sighed. Sitting down, Naruto started to play with the cup that held some tea since everything else didn't seem like the type of drink that would rid him of this taste. Staring at the cover that was in front of him, only upside down, a small sigh escaped the tan man. "Sasuke enjoyed going to those cat cafes after-school. He usually picked out the ones that didn't want to be petted or mess with for the day but after he was done with them, they would be calm as can be."
His brother did have a touch to calm animals. It had to be an Uchiha thing since his parents said they were from a long line of farmers when there was still plenty of land. He just wished that he could do that, then maybe he could get his mind off this haunting memory.
Even thinking of his brother with all those animals made his eyes tear up. Reaching under the corrective lenses, he tried to get rid of them. Biting his lip with a whimper, he reached and squeezed the mug that was in front of him. Removing his hand, looking at the blond in front of him, he let go of his lip and downed the rest of the tea. "Any particular one?"
Shaking his head, Naruto let his gaze fall to the cup that was in front of him. He didn't have his best friend around to pull jokes on. He didn't have anyone to talk to like how he used to when he had Sasuke around. "Teme was afraid of a lot of things. He was afraid of people finding out, like I said but it made him scared beyond anything else . . ."
Hearing the usually confident voice thick with pain, Itachi looked at the man in front of him. He didn't want to see anyone hurting because of this but it was a hard thing to do. He couldn't rewire him so he could feel better. He wasn't a damn robot that was emotionless. "What else?"
"He was scared – practically scared shitless – that your oto would find out about it and disown him. He's read stories about people getting kicked out because they were gay, bi, lesbian, transgender, everything." The words felt like a sword or a knife cutting into him as remembered his friend telling him his woes.
Closing his eyes, he rose from where he sat and put the mug in the sink and turning the facet on so water can be poured down into it. Shutting it off, he walked back into the room and grabbed the book, his gaze turning to the clock that was nestled on a wall. "I'm sorry Namikaze-san but I have to go."
Nodding, Naruto rose from his seat and grasped the man in a hug. He just wanted to keep the only man that was really close to Sasuke close to him or he might lose his friend again. He didn't want that. He was scared that Sasuke would eventually disappear from his mind one of these days. "Have a safe trip, please."
"I will. Thank you for having me over." Itachi replied, his body feeling the constricting grasp from the blond loosening until it was off. Walking away, the book tucked under his arm tenderly, as if he was afraid that it would bruise if he held it too hard. Looking back as he slipped his shoes on, staring at the sapphire eyes that were still crying on the inside, he forced a smile on his lips. "Maybe you should come over sometime. It might help a little."
"Thank you for the invitation but it'll have to wait. I have things I need to do at the garden." Naruto stated, his smile stretching across his face lightly. Once the door closed though, it fell into an emotionless line that was hard to get rid of. He wanted it to be gone so he could be normal again. He wanted to pull jokes on people because it would be what his friend would want him to.
Itachi walked down the street, even after the train ride back to the part of Tokyo he was part of. Feeling a shiver race through his body, his gaze turning up from his feet to stare at the hallow grounds that were before him. It was where his ancestors rested until it came time for Oban, then he would be walking among spirits. At least that's what he thought when he was growing up.
Now at the age of twenty-six, his mind still thought that. Now it was all the time instead of when it was time for letting your deceased family members back in the house. Stepping onto the ground, another shiver racing through his body, he continued to the grave he desired to be at. He never enjoyed being in cemeteries because something about them scared him, making him want to rush what he needed to do.
Once he found where he needed to be at, his gaze drifted down at the tombstone that was a good size, fit for his brother.
Here lies Uchiha Sasuke Beloved otouto, musuko, oi, magomusko. XXXX-XXXX
At the tender age of sixteen, he killed himself because what was going on. Now Itachi knew what was going on so he wasn't in the shadow anymore. Dropping to his knees, his hand pushed the cover back, along with the cover page that read the same as the hard cover. Staring at the first entry that was in it, ignoring the date since he remembered giving this to his sibling for his birthday. It just looked more worn then before.
Dear Diary, even if I don't know if I should call you this.
I'm fourteen and in eighth grade. I got so much going on that it isn't funny. I guess I can even use you as a stress reliever, well at least one of them. The only person that knows about my cutting is Dobe, or Naruto. He's not fond of it because he's afraid that I might cut a major vein and bleed to death.
I won't do that though. I make sure that they're shallow enough that they wouldn't do that. I don't want oka-san noticing them or oto-san since it seemed like they interrogate you for a good while until you actually cave into their demands.
It was for the best, Itachi added silently as he skimmed over what he read over already. Turning his attention to the headstone that indicated that his brother was there, he sighed. He wanted to feel his brother there for the first time in ten years. He didn't even think that it's been a decade yet but it has.
Looking down to continue reading, Itachi closed his lips in some hope that it would keep a whine or any other noise he would make if it hurt too much while he read this.
Naruto's pretty much trying to get me out of this slump but it's hard to do. I smile – well try – but it hurts to even do that. I don't want to hurt his feelings because when that happens, he runs his mouth by accident. I don't want him telling anyone that I'm cutting myself because they'll find an adult or someone they trust and squeal. I don't want people checking my entire body over for cuts that I caused to myself.
But that's one of the issues I'm dealing with. The other one is about how I feel. I've noticed a lot of things about myself over the past few weeks, and into the months really. I've felt different. I don't really see girls the same way like how I used to.
Guys, that's a different story. I've noticed them more then anything else. I especially notice their asses. Something about them just make me want to burst or find someone to bed with. I don't know why but I feel like I'm not straight.
It only confirmed what Naruto told him earlier today. Sasuke was gay and he was afraid that people would find out, even when he was just discovering about it. Closing his eyes and closing the bound paper so he wouldn't ready anymore, he felt something drop on him.
Looking up at the heavens, seeing the clouds there when they weren't there before, he sighed. It felt good being kissed by the heavens, it made him feel less sick with how he was with his brother.
"I figured I would find you here." A male voice soothed him more, even to the point he was smiling.
Feeling nothing of the rain, the Uchiha opened his ebony eyes, seeing a dozen water droplets settle on the clear lenses, he bent back farther to stare at the face that he recognized. He wasn't sure how he was in love with him when he saw him the first time.
When he first met him, his skin was the same as his was, but now it was tattooed to be a blue color. Seeing gill like tattoos settle at the corner of his eyes, he sighed with his smile falling. "How would you figure that out fishie?"
Licking his lips and helping his lover up, he whistled. "I figured you would be here since it seems like you like it here."
"I feel like I'm with my brother, that's why. You know that as well as I do Kisame." Itachi stated, and reminding the taller man as to why he showed up here.
Nodding then inclining his head to look at the book that was held close to his uke's heart, he raised a dyed eyebrow at it. "What's with the book?"
Looking down at it, as if it was a small child that he held deeply to his heart, he smiled. It was the only thing that was going to explain why his brother was up to ending his life. It might even give him a name for who caused his brother to go over the edge. "Just a little something that Naruto gave me when I visited him."
This was definitely longer then the first chapter. I felt like throwing in KisaxIta pairing since it seemed perfect but I feel like I've made Kis-a-me OOC. Please review.