Author's Note: Well here we are at chapter 19, and in truth I thought this would never get finished. It has taken me so long but I was dealing with a huge block in my mind that was preventing me from writing. I knew what I wanted to write I just couldn't put it into words. But I hope everyone is still with me, there are more chapters yet to come :) I got some reviews recently that have really inspired me to write, so thanks to everyone that reviews, it really helps :)
Story Note: Hmm, some stuff happens in this chapter. You no doubt will have questions, and will try to answer them without giving too much away. I've been dropping a few hints in the last few chapters that might give you some clues, but my lips are sealed and I will not answer y/n questions, so muhaha :)
It is very nearly night by the time Jake reaches the caves, dusk fast on his heels. From a distance he can see fires flickering through the thick strands of plants that hang over the mouths of the caves. He feels the cold wind brush chillingly over his skin, and suddenly longs to be by the fireside.
But no, that would mean having to be close to Tsu'tey, and right now he didn't think he could stand those large green eyes boring into his own. He pulls the sash closer to himself, wishing the material wasn't so thin because it offered barely any warmth. His tail wraps around his waist and he shivers. He stands a few meters in front of the Omaticaya's cave, weighing the options. He could go in, try to ignore Tsu'tey and get warm, or he could spend the night out here, in the freezing air.
He snorts in indecision, rubbing his arms as the air seems to drop a few more degrees. He wasn't a pussy. He couldn't just avoid Tsu'tey the rest of his life. Might as well be a man and get it over with. And so he crosses the distance and walks through the curtains of strands, keeping his face expressionless.
It's warmer inside and Jake immediately heads over to the large fire in the center, sitting down and sticking his hands out over it. When he's warmed up sufficiently, he allows himself to look around. Surprisingly, Tsu'tey is no where in sight. Jake breathes out in relief, relaxing. His gratefulness is short lived, however, when he looks towards the spot where they usually slept and spots the olo'eyktan sleeping on his lew'ewll.
Of course.
Jake groans, then sighs. Well, at least he didn't have to put up with any staring. He grabs a nearby stick and feeds it to the fire, causing it to spark and crackle. He watches the stick burst into flames before slowly turning a deep red color, then breaking apart, eventually getting lost in the cinders beneath. He sits in front of the fire a few more minutes, lost in thought, before feeling slightly bored. Afterall, Tsu'tey was usually there and they were usually talking about something.
And he doesn't see Asuy'ri or Peyral around anywhere in the crowd of blue bodies, so there was no one else to really talk to. Deciding that it would be best to just call it a day, Jake heads over to where Tsu'tey's already sleeping and grabs his own lew'ewll, sparing the other male a glance. He's spread out over his plant blanket, most of his effects removed. One hand is over his sternum and the other is over the side of the lew'ewll, knuckles brushing against the undoubtedly cold ground. His braided hair is strewn around his head like a misshapen black halo and his face is relaxed in an unguarded expression.
Despite it all, Tsu'tey still manages to look almost eerily composed and regal. Even in his fucking sleep, Jake thinks, slapping his own lew'ewll against the ground no more than a couple of feet from Tsu'tey's own. Jake picks up Tsu'tey's heavy queue when he discovers it near his plant blanket and throws it with no finesse over the other male's body. Tsu'tey's ear twitches and his facial muscles flinch slightly, but he remains asleep. Jake sends him a futile glare and lays down on his back, staring for a moment at the glowing, sharp stalactites that hang precariously above. A giant white moth bigger than Jake's hand flutters around them for a few seconds, then decides to perch itself on the biggest stalactite Jake can see, its fuzzy antennae moving restlessly.
Jake watches it until he lets go of the world, and sinks into sleep.
Jake gets up early the next morning before anyone else, just when the darkness of night is giving way to a violet blue that covers Pandora in an indigo aura. He sniffs and gets up off his lew'ewll, noticing that Tsu'tey is still asleep, the lines of spots on his face and body glowing an aqua color in the dark of the cave. Jake reaches around the cave for his Tsahìk sash and does his best to throw it over himself in what he hopes is a half-decent fashion.
He stumbles, disoriented from sleep, out of the opening of the cave and barely feels the strands of plants cascade off his shoulders. He yawns widely, stretching for a moment before looking up at the sky. Stars are sprinkled across the dark purple expanse and the planet Polyphemus is a striped blue and pink ball in the western corner of the sky. Jake wraps the sash tighter around himself as a burst of cold wind assaults his skin. He breathes in the fresh air with relish and sits down against the cave wall crosslegged and wraps his arms around himself.
His mind felt ready to burst.
Over the last week it had processed, overanalyzed, and been burdened with too much information for any one Na'vi to correctly handle. Nothing was sorted out. There were still too many questions and too many decisions he needed to make.
What was he going to do about his and Tsu'tey's relationship? Everything was just so...unfinished. Jake had lost track of how long they had until he would have to leave because he'd be causing Tsu'tey too much pain for them to even be around each other. He wanted Tsu'tey. He knew that. He had come to terms with that. But he didn't know how to take it further. He didn't want things to change.
Jake picks up his queue from where it rests on the ground by his folded legs and holds it up, the black strands at the end falling away like petals from a flower. The peach colored connectors undulate slowly, still drowsy like himself.
Jake muses while he watches their slow movements, a hint of an idea forming in his mind, which quickly grows to a full blown plan.
Tomorrow.
He'd do it tomorrow.
The day goes by too slowly for Jake, who tries to keep himself busy by interacting with the other Na'vi around him, small talk here and there. After helping a young male Na'vi string a bow properly, he calls for his ikran, feeling Tsu'tey's eyes on him as he did so.
Jake knew it was pretty illogical to feel awkward around a flying lizard, but when Txur swoops down in a big gust of wind that causes a dense cloud of dirt to stir around him, he feels uncomfortable around the beast. Txur was afterall, now the mate of Tsu'tey's ikran.
Txur cocks his big head at him, before butting their noses together and cawing lowly. The move rocks Jake back onto his heels with the force and he can't help but smile, his initial discomfort fading. He wraps his arms around Txur's neck to hug him and pulls back in shock when his skin meets wetness.
Blood. "Ugh, what the hell?" He gently pushes down on Txur's neck to see the wound better, and notices the triangle shaped gashes in symmetrical rows down the beast's neck. Bite marks. Jake clenches his teeth in anger and pats the side of Txur's face lightly, "What'd he do to you?"
But the big beast just blinks its multiple sets of eyes before looking to the sky. Jake then hears a swoop and whistle of mighty wings before Duri'sen himself lands a few meters away from them, one of his wingtips nearly slicing Jake's face before it folds in on itself. Jake snorts and glares at Tsu'tey's ikran who looks decidedly indifferent, shaking its massive head and rustling its wings.
"Ikran mate for life."
The voice startles Jake and he jumps slightly before letting go of Txur's neck and turning to see Tsu'tey. "How long have you been there?"
Tsu'tey tilts his head and just stares at him a moment with his green eyes, before they eventually flick away. "Not long."
Jake sighs and watches as their two ikrans butt heads gently—for an ikran, at least, Jake can hear can still hear the smack of the motion—and then looks at Tsu'tey again. "Don't make a habit of sneaking up behind me."
Tsu'tey raises his brows and his lip twitches, before he smiles salaciously at Jake, who stares at him and shakes his head. Overhead, the sky rumbles before a downpour of rain falls, fat drops smacking against the heads of the Na'vi below. Jake winces and looks up at the gray clouds, and watches an arc of lightening shoot across the sky.
Duri'sen and Txur caw and take to the skies once more, and when they unfurl their wings droplets shower onto Jake and Tsu'tey. Jake blinks water out of his eye and wipes it off his forehead. "Guess we should go inside."
Tsu'tey looks up at the sky. "I think that would be a good idea." And so they quickly walk back into the caves as it thunders above and a cloudburst of rain quickens the rate at which the droplets fall and the last bit of sun fades.
A fire has already been lighted when Jake steps back into the caves and he takes a moment to appreciate how warm it is before he shakes his hair out like a dog's, spraying drops against the cave walls and Tsu'tey, who winces and says, "We have things for drying, you know."
"And?"
"And?" Tsu'tey repeats, not understanding Jake's use of the term. "Ulte lì'upe...tswa'tsal."
"And as in, why do I need those things if I'm perfectly capable of drying myself?"
"It is just a suggestion," Tsu'tey answers, and throws a thick animal hide at him. It slaps against Jake's chest and the Dreamwalker catches it before it can fall. Jake gathers it up in his hands and experimentally rubs the edge of it against his wet arm, and the hide surprisingly soaks up the water efficiently.
He watches Tsu'tey get a hide of his own and dry himself with it, the shine from the rain eventually disappearing from his cyan skin. For a few seconds, Jake finds his eyes glued to the way his lean arm muscles work and the way the tendons in his arm move before he turns his gaze to the uninteresting walls and finishes drying his own skin.
Over the next few hours a storm rages outside, rain comes down hard and fast in torrents that splatter against the top of the caves and make an eerie echoing while gusts of powerful wind blow the strands covering the cave opening in all directions.
"Eywa is angry."
Tsu'tey and Jake are sitting by the fire, Jake busy with sharpening his dagger and Tsu'tey carefully skinning an orange fruit not unlike a tangerine with his own knife. Jake looks up from his task at the comment, but Tsu'tey avoids his gaze and continues diligently working his dagger over the fruit, sloughs of skin falling onto his lap.
Jake's ears flick around on his head like satellites before he says, "Not at us, though. At the Sky People. I can feel it. They're out there, right now, burning and destroying." Jake lowers his voice, "It makes me sick."
"We must do something, Jake. They will find us here after they have kawngsarlo everything else. We must gather the clans and go to war, and soon, before all is destroyed."
Jake bows his head. "I know," is all he says. Outside he hears a crack of lightening rip across the sky like glass cracking. He can think of several other things they need to do soon but does not speak of them. A depressing air settles over them and by the time Jake finishes sharpening his dagger, Tsu'tey had already eaten his fruit and was lounging with his chin in his hand, staring into the fire like it had all the answers.
Jake sighs and gets up, walking to the back of the cave to put his dagger away. He finds the sheath by his and Tsu'tey's lew'ewlls and is in the process of sliding the dagger inside when he hears a voice behind him.
"Hello Jakesully!" He turns to see none other than Sko'teng waving enthusiastically at him, before he taps his fingertips to his forehead. "I see you."
"Sko'teng! I see you as well." He sheaths the dagger and turns fully around to take in the child, who is dressed in a white loincloth with a tiny bow strapped across his back. Jake comes over and kneels before him, playfully flicking his flat nose. "Are you becoming a warrior already?"
"No! I've been a warrior since I was born!" Sko'teng scrunches up his face adorably, and for a moment Jake is taken aback at how familiar he looks. Eywa, there was something about that face that he had seen before...
Sko'teng notices the expression and stops scrunching up his face. "Are you okay?"
Jake stands and lays a hand on Sko'teng's small shoulder. "Yeah! It's just that you look like someone I know, it's kinda weird. I don't know, don't worry about it," Jake smiles and pats his head. He nods to the bow, "Have you hunted anything yet?"
Sko'teng grumbles, "No. My parents don't want me to go out, anywhere. It sucks."
"It sucks," Jake repeats, mostly to himself. No Na'vi he knew spoke like that. He wondered where Sko'teng had picked that up from. "Maybe you just have to wait a little while, they'll come around. Remember, one of the most important things of being a hunter and warrior is patience; if you wait, good things will happen."
Sko'teng nods, the beads in his long hair clinking.
Jake is about to say something else when he looks up and sees Tsu'tey standing, watching him with a confused expression. "What?"
"Who are you talking to, Jake?" It sounds accusatory and Jake tilts his head at him, frowning, not understanding what Tsu'tey is talking about.
"I'm talking to Sko'teng, isn't that ob—" He cuts himself of when he looks down to where Sko'teng had been standing and finds nothing there but dirt. "I was talking...Where did he go?" He looks around but finds no sign of the child.
Tsu'tey looks at him strangely, kind of like a parent would a child. "Jake, you were talking to no one. Do you often try to have conversation with the ground?"
"No, that's bullshit. He was just here. His name is Sko'teng, he's an 'evi about yay high," Jake holds his hand parallel to the ground, "he must've run off somewhere..."
"Jake, there is no one in the Omaticaya named Sko'teng." Tsu'tey frowns at him like the Dreamwalker had just grown two heads.
The Tsahìk laughs derisively. "Well maybe you don't know everyone than, because I just had a very good conversation with him and I've talked to him before, so—"
"Jake!" Tsu'tey steps closer, a concerned look on his face. "There is no child in this clan named Sko'teng! I saw you speaking and you were talking to no one! Ngati zene spaw oe..."
"How am I gonna believe you when he was right in front of me! He was right here a few seconds ago! If you're trying to make me think I'm crazy, it's not working!" His voice raises and a few Na'vi turn their eyes on him at the commotion. Jake lowers his voice to a whisper, "Oe lu ke lekye'ung, Tsu'tey."
"Jake, I did not say you were crazy," Tsu'tey says, sighing as he sits on his lew'ewll. "But there was no child. I only saw you talking to the air, nothing else."
Jake shakes his head in denial. "He was there, Tsu'tey. I-we both believe what we saw, so I guess there's no use arguing about it." Jake drops it but shakes his head. "I'm telling you, he was right there. And he was very real."
"I am not saying you didn't see him, Jake. But I did not. Maybe he was a spirit of some kind, I do not know—"
"Oh now you're just patronizing me. You're an asshole for playing that card, by the way." Jake sits down on his plant blanket as well, rubbing his face.
Tsu'tey glares at him from his lew'ewll. "I am serious. And I am not "playing any cards" as you say. Spirits are everywhere in this land, but rarely do you see one. This "Sko'teng" might be one. Usually only one or two people will be able to see the spirit-"
"Tsu'tey! He was not a spirit. Shit, I touched his shoulder and it felt real enough," Jake sighs deeply and stops rubbing his face to lay down spreadeagle on his blanket, crossing his arms over his face, trying to stop himself from getting angry.
He hears Tsu'tey about to say something but then he just shuts up. Jake slits open one of his eyes to see him shake his head in exasperation. Outside, the storm rages even harder yet, and the sound of rain against the cave walls sounds more like gunshots than water falling.
Jake shuts his eyes once more and all is nearly quiet except for the fire crackling and a few whispered conversations from other members of the clan. Then he hears Tsu'tey move and when he opens his eyes and moves is arms out of the way the other male is leaning over him, his eyes very green in the dim lighting.
"I am sorry, Jake. I do not want us to fight. If you say there was a child...then I believe you," Tsu'tey says sincerely, studying Jake's face, his eyes darting between Jake's own.
Jake doesn't say anything for a moment and studies the other male as well as he leans over him, sitting by him with his hands on either side of Jake's shoulders. If this was anyone else, Jake would feel trapped. But he doesn't. He just exhales deeply and smiles.
"All right, Tsu'tey. I accept your apology. And I'm sorry for yelling."
Tsu'tey blinks and smiles back a little, looking relieved. He watches Jake's expression change to a serious one before the other male pulls his chin down to kiss him. Tsu'tey is momentarily surprised before he kisses Jake back, one of his hands moving to bury itself in Jake's thick hair.
In truth, Jake could kiss Tsu'tey forever. If he died while kissing Tsu'tey, that'd be the happiest death he could ask for. When their lips touch it feels like none of the outside world exists, and all his worries fade away. It is the closest to absolute peace Jake has known.
After what feels like an eternity, Tsu'tey pulls away and the way he licks his lips sends a hot bolt of desire straight to Jake's groin but he does his best to ignore it.
"I accept your apology as well, Jakesully." He's purring, softly enough that Jake can barely hear it, but it's there. He slides his hand away from Jake's hair to lightly trace the glowing spots around his face.
"Stop," Jake whines. "It tickles."
Tsu'tey laughs.
"You don't really think Sko'teng was a spirit, do you?"
It's later that night, and the storm has let up enough for the Na'vi to hopefully get some peaceful rest. The rain patters gently now against the cave, and it sounds like a million tinkling bells sounding all at once.
Tsu'tey shifts on his lew'ewll to turn onto his side, facing Jake with his cheek supported by his hand. In the darkness, he is nothing but glowing eyes and spots. "I do not know. I have never heard of his name nor have I seen him..."
"I looked for him and I couldn't find him anywhere. It's really weird. He would be inside with the rest of us, his parents wouldn't let him go off in the rain, so he would have to be in here. It just...it doesn't make any sense."
"It does not," Tsu'tey agreed. "If he was a spirit, you have seen him for a reason. Eywa does not make them visible unless they are important to the one who sees them. It is likely he is a messenger of some kind."
"A messenger..." Jake repeats, his eyes trailing to the stalactites above. He and Tsu'tey are only about six inches away from each other and he can feel the other male's warm breath ghost over his face. "He looked so familiar to me. It was really strange, there was something about him...something I've seen before that I've seen somewhere else, I just can't place it."
Tsu'tey stares at him a moment longer before rolling over onto his back with his hands across his chest. "I am sure Eywa will have answers soon enough."
Jake says no more but makes an acknowledging noise, and turns onto his back as well. He closes his eyes and eventually the gentle noise of the rain lures him into sleep with dreams of his plans for tomorrow.
He just hoped the rain would let up.
Glossary:
Ulte lì'upe...tswa'tsal - and what...nevermind. (lit. forget it)
kawngsarlo - exploited - I wanted to write "raped" here but currently there is no Na'vi word for that
'evi - kid
Ngati zene spaw oe - you must believe me
Oe lu ke lekye'ung - I am not crazy