new chapter, everyone! hope no one's missed me too much :)

thanks to all the lovely reviewers (23 reviews already, yey!), you've all been very supportive and open to the format and to my insertions or sometimes rewrites of moments from the book :) I feared some would disapprove of some changes, but glad that's not happened :)

guest: awww, thank you :)

Emmylianaa22: thanks again for reviewing, your patience has been rewarded:) oh and there will be longer chapters later on, when we get to the last two books.

Guest 1: thank you, I tried to render it so that it didn't differ too much from the atmosphere Rowling had created in that chapter :)

Guest 2: thank you, new chapter is up :D

PJHPSGfan: thank you, I'm glad you appreciate the realism, it would be extremely weird if they got together in every chapter seeing as their relationship developed rather slowly (and that for quite a while Harry didn't see Ginny that way). And I hope I am doing J.K. some justice since she's such a fantastic writer :)

Enjoy the new chapter!

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9: Damaged

"There's something moving out there," Ron said. "I think people are coming aboard…"

The compartment door suddenly opened and someone fell painfully over Harry's legs.

"Sorry! D'you know what's going on? Ouch! Sorry —"

"Hullo, Neville," said Harry, feeling around in the dark and pulling Neville up by his cloak.

"Harry? Is that you? What's happening?"

"No idea! Sit down —"

There was a loud hissing and a yelp of pain; Neville had tried to sit on Crookshanks.

"I'm going to go and ask the driver what's going on," came Hermione's voice. Harry felt her pass him, heard the door slide open again, and then a thud and two loud squeals of pain.

"Who's that?"

"Who's that?"

"Ginny?"

"Hermione?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was looking for Ron —"

"Come in and sit down —"

"Not here!" said Harry hurriedly. "I'm here!"

"Ouch!" said Neville.

"Quiet!" said a hoarse voice suddenly.

Professor Lupin appeared to have woken up at last. Harry could hear movements in his corner.

None of them spoke.

(...)

Standing in the doorway, illuminated by the shivering flames in Lupin's hand, was a cloaked figure that towered to the ceiling. Its face was completely hidden beneath its hood. Harry's eyes darted downward, and what he saw made his stomach contract. There was a hand protruding from the cloak and it was glistening, grayish, slimy-looking, and scabbed, like something dead that had decayed in water…

Rowling J.K., Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, PDF, Chapter 5: The Dementor, pages 52-53

For a moment, he thought that the figure would seize him and squeeze the life out of him and he even flinched as he imagined those long, shriveled fingers wrapped around his neck, but as soon as he saw it, the hand was gone, as if the creature had read his mind.

Instead, the figure only hovered closer to him and took in a rattling breath that seemed to emanate even more coldness than if he had blown it right in his face.

He realized then, as his shivering became more uncontrollable, that the creature was actually sucking in the air around him and...and something more than air altogether. Something palpable, something warm inside of him, something that fluttered and fought against the movement, something that scratched his throat painfully in an attempt to escape.

Any strand of hope or courage seeped out of him like the fog clearing up after rain. There was only coldness, an immense white territory of coldness that stretched beyond his skin, beyond his chest, beyond his heart...

It was as if he were underwater and he was being dragged downwards, deeper into the folds where the water rushed into his ears and the light was dim and his limbs became numb.

And he noticed, probably the last thing he would notice before closing his eyes, that he was not alone underwater.

There was someone else cowering before him. She was stretched out on the compartment floor, her hand drawn over her face as if she were trying to push the cloaked figure away.

Harry almost had the impulse to jump out of his seat, but there was no "rising", there was only "going down", there was only "sinking".

His eyes rolled up into his head and whoever was struggling below him he could not see anymore. Nor could he see the cloaked figure, he could only feel it enveloping him in a deathly embrace.

And then from far away, he heard a blood-curdling scream, terrifying and harrowing in its despair.

He wondered vaguely, before his conscience slipped away, whether it was his own...

"Harry! Harry! Are you all right?"

Someone was slapping his face.

"W-what?"

Harry opened his eyes; there were lanterns above him, and the floor was shaking — the Hogwarts Express was moving again and the lights had come back on. He seemed to have slid out of his seat onto the floor. Ron and Hermione were kneeling next to him, and above them he could see Neville and Professor Lupin watching. Harry felt very sick; when he put up his hand to push his glasses back on, he felt cold sweat on his face.

Rowling J.K., Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, PDF, Chapter 5: The Dementor, page 53.

Only then did he notice the girl sitting right next to him, having collapsed on the floor herself, a blanket around her shoulders, shaking and crying quietly.

Ginny.

She was trying to hide her face in the folds of the blanket, as if she were ashamed to face him and the others.

"Harry, are you all right? Harry?"

He looked up. Hermione was shaking him softly.

"I - yeah, I'm fine - what happened?" he asked, trying to find his voice.

Ron and Hermione helped him back into his seat and Neville offered Ginny his hand. She took it shakily.

They were seated opposite each other and Harry could see his own reflection in her eyes; they both looked as if they had seen death.

A loud snap made him jump.

Professor Lupin was breaking an enormous slab of chocolate into pieces.

"Here," he said to Harry, handing him a particularly large piece. "Eat it. It'll help."

Harry took the chocolate but didn't eat it.

"What was that thing?" he asked Lupin.

"A Dementor," said Lupin, who was now giving chocolate to everyone else. "One of the Dementors of Azkaban."

Everyone stared at him. Professor Lupin crumpled up the empty chocolate wrapper and put it in his pocket.

"Eat," he repeated. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…"

Rowling J.K, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, PDF, Chapter 5: The Dementor, page 54.

He strolled past Harry and disappeared down the corridor, leaving them to wonder in horror at the possibility of having a creature from Azkaban stand in their own compartment, ready to kill them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ron asked at length, watching him warily.

"Yeah," Harry replied, looking at the now deserted corridor. "What happened? What – what was that thing doing? And who was screaming?"

"No one screamed," Ron supplied nervously.

"What do you mean – I heard screaming, clear as day," Harry protested, looking around the compartment.

Hermione and Neville looked back at him, both very pale.

When his eyes darted towards Ginny's figure, she shook her head vigorously, as if she knew what he was thinking.

Still, Harry insisted. "But I saw – I saw the Dementor attacking you, Ginny."

Her eyes widened considerably. She had not been able to see him.

"I-I couldn't even breathe, m-much less scream," she muttered hoarsely.

"Oh..."

He lowered his head in confusion. "I suppose I couldn't either."

"Was no one else attacked?" he asked, looking up again.

Hermione, Ron and Neville all shook their heads.

"Just you and Ginny," Neville told him.

"It wasn't really an attack, though. It – it looked as if they were – sucking out your soul," Hermione spoke, her voice wavering between fear and disgust.

"But we all felt weird," Ron intervened. "Didn't we?"

Neville nodded his head. "It was horrible. It got so cold when they came in."

"Yeah and it was like – it was like I knew I'd never be cheerful again," Ron added darkly.

Ginny shook her head again, pulling the blanket tightly around her. "It was worse."

Harry looked at Ginny and saw his own self again, the self that had almost fallen prey to the clutches of an infernal being.

It reminded him of the Chamber, or at least it reminded him of what Ginny must have felt when she had been lying unconscious on that cold floor.

"Yeah, poor Ginny fell off her seat and that thing just kept standing over her," Neville confirmed, looking at her in commiseration.

Ginny turned her head away so she could avoid his gaze. She could not stand the pity.

"But I fell too, didn't I? I fell too... " Harry trailed off, looking down embarrassed.

"Well, what could you have done against that thing?" Hermione demanded sternly, looking at both him and Ginny as if she were trying to tell them they had nothing to be ashamed of.

But it was yet another form of pity and the two felt even more isolated than before. They had been first to collapse and even though it was irrational to think it, they considered themselves the weak links.

Ginny was struggling to maintain composure, but she was clearly still in shock.

There was a bitter taste in her mouth. No one had been able to help her; no one had been able to stop that thing. Not even Harry. Her darling Harry Potter who had saved her from Tom Riddle himself.

In fact, he had been as much a victim as she had.

And for the first time, Ginny acknowledged something, something that would remain etched in her mind for as long as she lived.

No one, no parent, no sibling, no friend and no idealised young hero could really stand between her and danger, between her and death. She needed to fight her own battles, helpless as she might be.

Harry Potter could not be her guardian angel. She could not turn him into a hero by force, because he needed saving too.

Harry needed help, just like everyone else.

He had not been able to break free from that creature's hold by himself. Neither he, nor Ginny.

And he thought there had to be a reason the cloaked figure had only latched onto them.

The answer came much later when Professor Lupin returned to their compartment and explained how the Dementors had fled after he had cast a spell known to ward them off.

Dementors were drawn to people like him and Ginny, because they submitted much easier, because they relented their souls without putting up a fight. Because he and Ginny harboured a tragedy that could be increased.

Because they were both damaged.

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A/N: I know, the last few chapters have been sort of depressing, don't worry, there's variety ahead :)

The changes I've made to this passage in the book are motivated by the fact that it made sense to me for Ginny to be just as affected as Harry and for them to be in the same situation. They really are the most damaged.

J.K. herself wrote that Ginny felt the encounter much more deeply than others: "Ginny, who was huddled in her corner looking nearly as bad as Harry felt, gave a small sob; Hermione went over and put a comforting arm around her." (page 54)

Clearly, Ginny can empathize with Harry and vice versa. So really, I only dug deeper.