A/N: As always, R & I belong to the wonderful creators and not to me...at all. I love these characters and their natural bonds. I want to explore their relationship and the loving relationship they could have with this story. Just fun and fluff with me...thanks and enjoy!
Grabbing Our Future, CH 3
Our first day together was wonderful not in spite of its simplicity but because of it. We were still us…Jane and Maura…partners, friends, confidants, parents…now we were just more. We held hands as we pushed Jackson to the park that afternoon but that was really nothing unusual. I just finally allowed myself to feel Maura's hand…to feel her touch. Before, I wouldn't let myself feel anything more than comfort. Maura had always brought me comfort and peace now I allow the warmth she brings to settle in my stomach. Warmth and….oh, Lord, how sappy can I be…butterflies. I've never been with a woman romantically despite what some people around the precinct might think. I'm straight. Really….well, maybe not as straight as some but women don't turn my head. Maura…Maura turns my head and my heart. Everything in my life was turned upside down the minute Dr. Isles became the Chief ME.
"Penny for your thoughts," Maura stroked my hand as we sit down on a bench to enjoy the sunshine.
"I'd give them to you for free…but I do have a baby so I might could use the extra income…I think I'll charge you a c-note!" I just can't help being a smart-ass….it's a gift.
"Wow…it had better be a really good thought, Jane!"
My smile grew as I just enjoyed our natural banter…yep, we were still us. "Well, I was just thinking how normal I feel. If I ever allowed myself to dream or even with a passing thought…think about…you know, us…together, I imagined that the sky would fall or something."
"Jane, the sky cannot fall and certainly not over a single human interaction," Maura assured me despite her little grin showing through.
"Yes, Google, I understand that! I just thought I would act differently or everyone else would…I don't know. But, I didn't expect to just feel happiness and the 'right' of it all."
Maura leaned into me hesitating only toward the end, searching my eyes to see if she could come closer, a permission I gave by leaning to meet her. Our lips touched briefly in a sweet, sweet kiss. "Two hydrogens bond with one oxygen to make water," my sudden confusion causes her to chuckle and put her hand up to stop my inevitable smart-ass remark, "wait…I have a point! The elements, even if they had human characteristics, do not question the bond they form. They are attracted to and complete one another in a bond that is essential to life itself. It is natural and designed to happen from the beginning of time until the end. I equate that to us, sweetheart. We have finally given in to the design for us, the bond that we were meant to have…that in so many ways have always had. We are stronger together than we are apart yet we still exist as individuals. We are vital to those around us in our families and our jobs, but we are a unit that brings so much more when we are together."
"Wow, what do I owe you for that thought, Dr.! I might need to slip by the bank and get some sorta loan…," my comment and smirk earn me a quick slap to my arm. "Seriously, Maur. I guess I would call that profound. Hell, and it was almost in English, so I understood most of it…I've known for years that we were better together but this change in 'us'….I don't know what to say."
"Yes, H2O. With no interference, it just happens. It's easy and completely unsurprising."
"Completely unsurprising? Ok, that I'll give you…but easy? I don't think we've ever done anything the easy way!"
"Point made."
Later, we headed home hand-in-hand laughing until Jackson started to fuss. I snagged him up from his stroller, "Hey, little man. Were we ignoring you? I'm sorry! C'mere dude." We walked the rest of the way home with Maura pushing an empty stroller and Jackson clutched to my chest turned facing the world for him to explore. His biggest excitement came when we arrived home to find Nonna waiting for us at the door. Jackson kicked his legs to show his enthusiasm for this wonderful grandmother allowing himself to be taken into her arms.
"That's my big boy! Where have you girls been? I've been waiting to see him all day long!"
"Ma! It's Saturday we don't have a schedule or a plan…we're just being together and enjoying a day without work."
"Well that's fine, but I'm taking Jackson with me to Sylvia's house to visit for a while…of course, I mean, if that is ok?"
"Maura? Does he need to stay and nap?"
Maura thought for a moment before she replied, "Angela, I know Jackson would love to go with you but will you please see that he naps? Perhaps you can take our car? He seems to immediately get comfortable and fall asleep quickly with that movement."
"Sure, Maura. I'll even run a couple of drive-thru errands on the way and take my time driving to Syl's. That should give Jack a good hour nap, and if he is still sleepy, I'll put him down in his port-a-crib when I get there. I'll visit for a while and be home with your little man by 8…sound OK?"
"Sure, Ma. Maura and I will just chill this afternoon, but we definitely want him home no later than 8 so we can get bath-time done and get him in his normal night routine…plus, I want to get to more snuggles…more snuggles," I say as I grab Jackson kissing at his neck making him giggle and squirm.
Angela observes this domestic scene with joy. She knew that Jane would be a great mother, and watching her love and care for her…well, whatever Jackson was biologically, he was becoming her son….her's and Maura's. She also watched the love radiating from Maura's eyes as she laughed at Jane's antics. Something seemed a little different there. What is that look? Nah…couldn't be. "Ok, let me have Jacksy! His bag is packed already and you have the ready-to-go diaper bag, so we are all set! Jane…keys?!"
"Here you go, Ma. Be safe…I'll buckle him in." With a check of safety restraints and a kiss from each of his moms, Jackson was ready for his trip with Nonna.
I went straight to the bedroom to change into comfortable at-home clothes while Jane slipped into the kitchen. I heard the door open as I stood in only my bra and yoga pants not thinking much of it until it struck me that Jane had not spoken upon entering the room. I turned with my shirt in my hands rather than on my body. Jane was two steps into the room with her mouth open slightly agape looking at my chest. I simply stood there allowing her to look. Her eyes snapped up to my face and with a deep blush stammered, "I…I…sorry, I just…wow…I've seen you like this dozens of times but this is different. I keep saying things like that don't I?"
"Jane, it's ok. This part of our relationship might be a little different.."
"A little?! I'm staring at your boobs, Maur!"
"H2O, Jane. We fit, and we are being drawn together by design. It is ok to stare…(swallow) or to touch."
Jane withdrew after a beat of uncertainty, "I'm going to let you change." And with that, Jane left the room. I'm not sure if I should follow, but ultimately I decide to let her have a minute.
After dressing, I walk into the living room to find Jane looking out the window watching Jo play for a few minutes in the backyard. I slide in behind her and wrap my arms around her. With a slight jump, "Damn, Maura. Did you learn ninja skills all of a sudden? I mean maybe it comes from being a mom or something. Ma could show up in a room almost in your face and if she didn't want to be seen she wouldn't be. I thought maybe it was a hormone thing from pregnancy, but I think you've got it, too…so it must just be a mother thing…huhmm…"
I interrupt Jane's out-of-character nerve induced ramble by sliding around under her arm to take her in a passionate kiss. When we separate, "Jane. Look at me. Jane, I'm nervous, too. But I'm not scared and you shouldn't be either. Nothing we do will be wrong…H20 remember? We shouldn't force anything physical, but we shouldn't avoid it either. We can talk about it, too, if you want. I mean we really haven't discussed sex. I know you love me, but are you sexually attracted to me? Have you ever been with another woman?"
"Geez, Maur, jump on in to the deep end why don't cha?" I took a moment to gather my thoughts and then I looked up to meet those beautiful eyes of hers. "No Maura, I have never been with a woman. Never even thought about it until you. I'm not a lesbian, I will not be looking at other women in a sexual way. But the answer to your first question is yes. Yes, I want you. I want to touch you and, God, I think I could kiss you for days and never stop. I'm not ignorant as to what…stuff…goes into sex between two women, ya know? I've seen porn. And I don't think I'm scared…that isn't the right word. I'm….I don't know…anxious? Its nerves but excitement, too." I look up to the ceiling still held in a loose embrace trying to find a way to say what is on my mind. I decide to just dive in as she had, "Maura. You deserve everything good in life. The best of anything and everything. I want you to be fulfilled and happy and complete. I want to give that to you, and I don't know if I can do it. What if it doesn't…work? I mean…oh shit, I don't know what I mean." Pulling away and walking a few steps, "Maura, I want to…please you…physically. I want to touch you and make you happy…I mean I'm starting to really want to touch you…but the bottom line for me is that I love you. And I want you show you how much I love you. I want to go slow and make every bit of this relationship right. Every step. I want us to be strong…stronger than my parents were…for you and for Jackson."
Maura had tears in her eyes looking at me intently. Then spoke in a quiet voice, "Jane, I didn't think I could love you more than I did this morning….I was wrong." With that she came to me and gave me a simple, sweet kiss. I felt a little better having gotten my feelings off my chest. Lord! Ma would be so proud! I took her in my arms this time, and asked, "Can I just hold you for while?"
"Jane, you never, ever have to ask to hold me…you never have." I took her hand leading her to the sofa and took a seat pulling her into my lap. She snuggled into me getting comfortable, and we eventually ended up mostly laying on each other. We kissed and touched each other softly. Nothing too much…just showing our love.
I opened my eyes realizing we had fallen asleep on the sofa. My! We had been napping for almost two hours. I think the long nights with an infant caught up with both of us. I gently withdrew from Jane's arms and paused to look at her while she slept. I have always enjoyed watching her sleep. A bubble of excitement made me realize that I no longer have to wait until she is asleep to watch her anymore. I can stare whenever, wherever, and for as long as I want now. With a sigh, I rise and go to the kitchen to prepare our dinner. We can actually eat just us with Angela and Jackson out for a while longer. During my preparations, I sense Jane coming in the kitchen and approaching me. Similar to my earlier move, she wraps her arms around me in a hug.
"Hi, sweetie."
"Hi yourself, Detective."
Jane gently brushes my hair away from my neck and begins to kiss me. With a sudden stop she says, "Maur, is this ok?"
"Jane, I meant it when I said, you never have to ask to hold me…or to touch me…or to kiss me. You have my express permission anytime, anywhere."
"Blanket permission, huh? You might regret that one day, Dr. Isles."
After a few more kisses, I'm beginning to forget about the food in front of me in need of attention. I tilt my head to make sure Jane has plenty of room to work. Her soft lips are absolute magic on my neck and up under my ear….oh, and on my earlobe. A gentle nip of teeth on my lobe, causes me to shiver, "ohhh, God" comes from me in a whisper. Jane's hands begin to slide slowly under my shirt to caress the skin of my abdomen. Strong yet tender hands touch me almost reverently while I give up all pretense of cooking and simply lean back completely in Jane's embrace resting my head on her shoulder. "Jane, that feels so good, please don't stop." With continued kisses, Jane doesn't verbally acknowledge my plea but she does continue her ministrations. I'm so lost in the feelings bombarding me right now, I almost miss the subtle upward movement of Jane's hands toward my breasts. She gets almost there and stops. I can virtually hear her thinking. "Jane, stop it…stop thinking so much…I can barely form a coherent thought with your hands on me…please stop thinking…join me…" With that final push, Jane reaches my breasts and begins to cup them and gently squeeze.
"Oh my God."
"Oh my God."
How we managed to express the exact same thing shouldn't have surprised me…we were always in sink. Jane and Maura…Maura and Jane…Rizzoli and Isles.
TBC...