Chapter ten

Adam was laying on his back in his bed staring at the ceiling. He was so hurt. Daniel's words had nearly destroyed him. It wasn't just what he had said, but the way he said them. Adam had not seen this kind of pain in his little brother since the death of their parents. He had spoken the words with such passion, Adam knew that he meant every word that he said. He wasn't just lashing out in anger, saying whatever he thought he could to hurt Adam. He believed everything he said.

Hannah laid beside her husband in silence. She didn't know what to say to him. She could see the incredible hurt in his eyes. She wanted so much to hold him and try to make the hurt go away. She knew there was no way she could do it. Holding him might make her feel better, but his brothers' words had cut Adam and cut him deep. She knew that no amount of sympathy or comfort she showed him was going to make any difference.

Adam turned to face his wife. He had to get something straight with her...now. He put his hand beneath her chin and guided it to look up into his eyes. "Hey, that's not true...what Daniel said about me manipulating you when we got married. It's not true. I told you that I was scared, scared you wouldn't say yes...but I never, ever meant to manipulate you or make you feel trapped. Please Hannah, please tell me you believe that!" Adam pleaded, his dark eyes full of unshed tears.

"Adam, I know that. We talked all that out and I believed you then and I believe you now. I don't know where Daniel got that notion, but...Did you ever explain things to any of them? They were as caught off guard as I was. You explained your reasons to me, but did you ever explain yourself to them?" Hannah asked softly.

"No, they didn't ask and I didn't offer any explanation. After the first couple of days, they all seemed fine with it...Except Brian, and I did have a talk with him." Adam replied.

"Well, maybe that was a mistake, but...It wasn't like you intended to hurt them. You have a lot of responsibility. You're due a few mistakes. None of us are perfect." Hannah offered.

"Yeah, I've made plenty of mistakes, for sure." Adam agreed.

There was a knock at the door. Adam wasn't sure who it was, but he wasn't sure it mattered. He didn't think he could face any of them right now. He was hurt and drained.

"Come in." Hannah called out.

Crane entered their bedroom looking completely wrung out. Hannah noted that he had been crying. She figured they all had.

"Adam? Can I just say somethin' to you right quick?" Crane asked, looking more like a little boy than the grown man that he was.

"Sure Crane." Adam answered.

"I need you to know that what Daniel said about me and college...I know that's not true. You never put any stipulations on my education and I never said anything to Daniel to make him believe that. It's just that he's had a lot of misconceptions about you for a long while now. I think...I think he's just the first one of us that really thinks of you more as his dad than his brother, ya know? He's trying so hard to be a man...he's at that age, we've all been through it. He wants us all to see him as a man and...maybe it's harder for you because, while we are all just his brothers, you're also the one that raised him...you're kinda like a father too. It's probably harder for you to let him grow up. See, for Daniel, with the rest of us...he's just our brother. He feels like he's one of us...With you, sometimes he sees you as a brother, sometimes he sees you as a father. He tries so much harder to impress you. If one of us finds fault with him...it's not that big deal. When you find fault with him or are disappointed in him...it's like...letting your father down. It kills him."

Crane stopped. He could see at least an inkling of understanding in Adam's eyes. He could too, see a lot of hurt, but thought, maybe...just maybe, he could understand where Daniel was coming from. That confusion he had where Adam was concerned. Seeing a brother and a father in the same person at the same time...and at such a difficult age right now...of course it was confusing for him. It would be for anybody.

"Thanks Crane." Adam spoke somberly. "I appreciate it. How is he?" The father side of Adam was emerging and of course, he was worried about Daniel in this moment.

"He's still down there with Brian. I dunno, Brian said he may take him for a drive or somethin', calm him down. There's more to this Adam. I had promised not to say anything, but I think maybe I should now.

Crane proceeded to explain to Adam and Hannah just what was going on with Tally Dean, why she was here and what she wanted with Daniel. When he finished explaining it all, he looked at Adam and said:

"I think it's easier for Daniel to hide behind the responsibility he feels for this ranch. Don't you see? He wants this music thing more than anything. He's just scared. You have provided him the perfect excuse to hide behind. You don't want him to go and he's afraid to go because he might fail.

"He and I have talked about this before, Crane. I've told him it's his life, his decision. I am not going to stand in his way. I want him to succeed in whatever it is that he wants to do...But God help me, I can't stand the thought of him going off into the world with her. He's asking for a big disaster. Did you tell him that?" Adam asked.

"I told him he needed to really think it over and...to be honest, I think he was leaning towards turning her down. But Adam, he's hot headed, stubborn and proud...and your accusing him of going off to sleep with her...I'm pretty sure that's not what he was doing. I'm afraid now that he may decide to take her up on the offer now...because of the argument." Crane explained.

"So...once again, I stuck my foot in my mouth with him and he's gonna run off and do God knows what. Is that it?" Adam looked at Crane, the look on his face was one of total misery." Adam asked.

"Well, I hope not. We're just gonna have to wait and see what happens I guess." Crane said with a sigh and turned and walked out of the room.

Adam looked at Hannah and couldn't hold it in any longer. When she put her arm around him he leaned into her and began to weep. He wept like a lost little boy. All Hannah could do was hang on to him as he let all of his emotions go. Her heart ached for him. She couldn't for the life of her figure out how to make any of this better...for any of them.

to be continued...