A/N: This chapter is a definitely more of a T rating than the previous ones. The wedding is coming folks...thanks for the encouraging reviews!
R & I is not mine.
Ch 9
On the Monday before the wedding, most all of the arrangements were made, and the few invitations we were sending out had been distributed. Mother arrived last Friday evening which allowed us to make significant progress on the small details. We had such a wonderful time together shopping and planning.
"Maura, darling, you are simply radiant…I cannot tell you how happy I am for you." Mother was holding Jackson while we enjoyed lunch on the veranda of one of our favorite Boston eateries. The mild Fall day was incredibly pleasant.
"Thank you, Mother. I feel radiant. You know I struggled with my…awkwardness…well, forever. I just didn't quite fit in. The society in which we live was wonderful and accepting of my idiosyncrasies for the most part until I became the medical examiner. My passion for the dead was a little too much for most. I learned to stay quiet about my job when making appearances in Boston's 'old money' world, but I hated it. I am good at my job and my work is important. I didn't like not being able to discuss it like other people…well, like the men in the room. In that world, the women don't work they socialize, so that was another knock against me. Around the police department I was the Queen of the Dead because of my passion, but I was also the rich ME who walked onto crime scenes in clothes that many didn't see as appropriate."
"Darling, you are beautiful and brilliant. Most people could never hope to understand you or to truly value you. You are unique in a most special way."
Blushing, "thank you, Mother. While I understand that, it didn't make some of my days any less painful and lonely." I briefly thought about some of the nights when I would eat alone, read alone, sleep alone, and dream of…being a part of something. "Then Detective Jane Rizzoli walked into the café dressed as a prostitute without enough money to buy her coffee," I giggle at the remembrance of Jane as a call girl. "Little did I know that my life had irrevocably changed at that moment. I now have a loud Italian family, a life mate, and a son. I am definitely radiating, Mother…"
"Maura, I didn't want to bring this up earlier with all the things we've been working on for the wedding, but what is the status of the adoption. What did Steven advise you to do?"
"Uncle Steven was wonderfully encouraging and helpful. We filed the dissolution of parental rights Frank signed along with the petition to dissolve Lydia's rights as well. Without her consent things are somewhat slowed down though. We met with our assigned Family Court judge last week at which point our attorney submitted all of the BPD documents related to Jackson's abandonment, the note left by Lydia, and the on-going search for her. The judge will rule on Frank's paperwork hopefully this week, but the State's Family Services officers will pick up the search for Lydia. Unless they find her and gain her parental waiver paperwork, we can only be given temporary legal guardianship until she has been gone without contact for six months. At that time, the court can take all of the evidence into account and sever parental ties and grant our adoption."
"So legal custody, but no formal adoption for another three months?"
"Yes, sadly. However, our marriage will be behind us and that will do nothing but strengthen our case for adoption. The stability of our relationship and Jane's blood relation should make everything at that point simply formality."
"Darling, I must ask this despite it being uncomfortable….are you marrying Jane for Jackson? Is this wedding and marriage just to become this precious one's mother?"
I can only give Constance a soft smile and a shake of my head, "No, Mother. I am marrying Jane because I cannot…no…I will not live without her. Jackson brought us together undoubtedly, but he is not holding us together. If I didn't love her as a marriage partner, I would stand beside her as a friend and would assist in raising Jackson for certain. I do love him very much. She would never force me out of his life," I take a deep breath and begin the conversation with my mother that Jane had to have with Angela days ago. "I know when you thought of my wedding while I was growing up you never saw it being another woman at the end of the aisle. Honestly, I didn't either. I have never loved or been in a physical relationship with another woman before. I wasn't opposed to it, but I was simply never attracted to another woman. Jane is unlike anyone before her in my life. She understands me in a way no one has ever done. She accepts me and supports me…she encourages me and comforts me. No one can make me laugh or smile like she can. Of course, no one can cause me more frustration either… She is so very smart despite the fact that she doesn't see that in herself. She is compassionate…oh, Mother…if you could see her at work. The way she cares about the victims, and single-mindedly pursues justice for them and for their families is incredible to behold. She is brave beyond any good sense and self-preservation, which scares me a little every day. But, in totality there is no one like Jane Rizzoli…and I am so in love with her…with or without Jackson Michael, I want to be Jane's wife and stand beside her for the rest of my days."
"I will never doubt your love, Maura. You speak with such passion about her, and your eyes gleam with love at the mere mention of her name. Sweetheart, your father and I are so proud of you. We only ever wanted your happiness, and I know finding that has been a journey for you. A journey on which you often did not get the support from us you deserved. We will be forever grateful to Jane for bringing you to life, as it were. Making you comfortable with your own uniqueness, and as I see it, insisting you embrace it. I am grateful to her for assisting in bringing us closer as well. She is a champion for you…She is good for you, and I fervently hope that she causes the sort of speech you just gave about her every day for the rest of her life."
"Mother…are you and Father really OK with me marrying a woman?"
"Maura. It is not what we had expected. Despite the open environment in Boston, I hate that you will inevitably face criticism and some ostracism at times for this choice, but we support you. I can clearly see how happy you are and that this is what is best for you. So yes…we are really, as you say, 'OK with it'."
"Thank you, Mother….now let's get your grandson back in his stroller and go make final floral selections, shall we?"
"Without Jackson and Maura, I got all of my stuff taken care of on Saturday, thank God. I have the ring, something to wear, and the dinner Thursday night all set thanks to the Isles'. I am done and cruisin' into the rest of the week!"
Frost scoffed, "Jane, do you really think between your mother and Constance Isles, you won't have anything else to do?"
"Absolutely! The mothers and Maura are having big fun…I get to hang with Jackson while they plot after work…life is good."
"You are pretty happy aren't you, partner?" Barry turned fairly serious on me with this question.
I sat up in my desk chair to meet his eyes straight on, "No…I'm not pretty happy, Frost. I am on a whole other plane of happiness. I'm getting married to the greatest person around, and I get to go home to her every night when I leave this place starting in four days."
Korsak entered as I finished my statement, "Let's roll guys. Just got the call for a shooting down by the wharf…looks like we have multiple vics with at least one dead at the scene…could be a late night folks."
"Damn…glad I have my wedding shit done…let's go guys! We have bad guys to catch…and it will be done in the next 72 hours, ya' hear me? I am getting married, Friday!"
It was almost 9 p.m. before I finished the autopsy on the wharf victim. I went to my office exhausted from the long day after a long weekend…and a long three months of non-stop going. With my head back and my eyes closed, I called home to check on Jackson.
"Hello, Mother….how is my son?...yes, he does love his bath…the warm water is soothing to him…did he eat and rest well for you today?...good…no, unfortunately, it will be a while longer until I can come home…no, I haven't seen Jane in hours but that is to be expected…I would suspect she won't be home until the wee hours…ok…please kiss him for us and tell him his mothers love him…thank you, Mother…I'll see you in the morning…good-bye."
I have somehow managed to have my entire conversation with my eyes closed still reclining in my chair. Maybe I can rest for just a few more minutes before I write up my report…
"Maur…are you sleeping sweetheart?" Jane says softly from across the room.
I turn my chair toward her and open my eyes only slightly, "yes, don't disturb me. I have a tiny child at home, and someone had the nerve to murder a man four days before my wedding. I need to sleep where and when I can."
"Well, in that case, I have a few minutes to spare…maybe I can help you rest a bit?" Jane says with a smirk while wiggling her eyebrows. She shuts and locks my door then approaches me. "Come here, Dr. Isles. Let me take care of you." She leads me to my couch but doesn't sit beside me. She lays me down, gently takes off my shoes, and kneels beside me on the floor. "Maur, have I told you today how incredible you are? You never cease to amaze me when you come onto a crime scene…like you did this morning. You scan the scene, take control, and bring so much confidence to the cops working it. We know that you are going to get us the evidence and the answers we need to catch the perp…it is so very sexy."
With that she begins to kiss my face softly, almost reverently. She strokes my hair and runs her hands down my arms in a soothing motion. I am pretty certain that I moan at the contact. "Is that ok, Doc? Does it feel good?"
"God, yes, Jane…it feels perfect."
She continues to kiss my face giving me a few drugging kisses on the lips allowing our tongues to tangle before she moves lower. She goes to my neck giving me attention where she has learned I like it most. With every kiss she continues to touch me. Now the touches are on my breasts. Soft squeezes turn to gentle yet firm pinches of my nipples. My gasps make Jane smile…I can feel her upturned mouth on my neck. Quickly, Jane reaches down to grab the bottom on my scrub top and pushes it up over my breasts leaving my torso virtually bare save the blue Victoria's Secret bra.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Maura Isles. I love you." Jane's hands begin to stroke up my body…firm touches that I think she means to use to arouse me.
"Jane…what…"
"Shh…let me love you for a few minutes…please? I need to…" Even as she asks, she stills her hands and looks at me waiting for my permission.
I can only nod my head. It feels so good, and I can't deny her anything. Her hands go up to my breasts and go back to their previous work. My nipples are still erect from a moment ago, but they grow impossibly harder as Jane works them. Jane kisses me passionately and takes my groans into her mouth. She breaks her mouth away, and for the first time in our relationship, she puts her mouth on my breasts. At first she kisses the tops of my mounds as she presses them together. Dear God…I don't know if I can stand this.
I really don't know what came over me. I came to Maura's office and found her half asleep talking to Constance on the phone about Jackson and…and I don't know. I just had to touch her. How did I not recognize the passion and physical desire she could draw from me before? The last weeks have been wonderful, and I've been ok with putting off sex. I want to have sex with her, but waiting is a good plan. Right now…to hell with the plan. I just want to touch this woman and love her.
I push her breasts together and without thinking begin kissing the tops. She gasps, so I guess I'm doing it right. This is so different…so odd…oddly right. I squeeze and pluck at her nipples while continuing my kisses then all I can think is 'I want to see them'. I pull the bra cup from Maura's right breast, and sit for just a moment staring at her porcelain skin and rose colored nipple. It is hard and standing up for me…I did that. Wow! I slowly bend my head to her, leading with my tongue. Tentatively, I touch her. I run my tongue around her nipple and hear her sudden intake of breath. Looking up to find her eyes staring back at me, I see nothing but love and fire coming from Maura. I hold her gaze as I latch onto her breast for the first time. I close my mouth on her and gently tongue and suck her nipple. The texture is unlike anything I can describe. I close my eyes just to relish this moment. But I want to see her…I look at M again as I begin to suck with more fervor. While I am doing this my hands are busy on her other breast and stroking her bare stomach. With a little more boldness and because my mind is starting to get a little fuzzy with desire, I slide my hand down to the tops of her scrub pants.
"Jane…God…Jane I want your hand on me…in me right now…but we wanted to wait…." She holds my head to her breast and raises her hips even while she speaks. Her mind is apparently fighting with her body. Sex has been absent from her life for a while, too.
I release her enough to be able to speak, "Maur, I know…I know…God I just want to make you feel good right now. I don't know what to do with all of this right now. What do you want, babe?"
Breathing hard, Maura looks at me with love and uncertainty. I am not use to seeing that in her…Maura Isles doesn't do uncertainty often. That is enough to bring me out of my haze…I stroke her stomach a few more times, and I kiss her breast sweetly before drawing back to cover her again with her bra. I hold her eyes again as I replace her top and move up to kiss her lips. This time the kiss is more about love and less about desire. After taking a deep calming breath, "I love you, Maura. And Friday, I will marry you and I will make love to you….after this…" I wave my hand back and forth between us, "this little dry run…ha….you know if I were a smart-ass I could really make an inappropriate comment right now…"
Maura quickly picks up what I mean and swats at me, "Jane…"
"Sorry….I just mean, if there was ever a doubt about sex between us being fulfilling or passionate….I'm pretty damn sure how good it will be…"
"Jane, feeling your hands on me, your mouth on me….was incredible. I want that. I want you, but I am glad we decided to put it off for just a few more days. I don't want our first time to be on my office couch, and I don't want our first time to be all about me. And that was definitely about to be all about me."
"Maur! I was enjoying that as much…hell, if not more than you were…"
"Oh, Jane, I seriously doubt that! But I am glad you find pleasure in my body. That is how it is supposed to be. When we are together for the first time, I want to look into your eyes and come together. I want to bring you to climax as you bring me…together. Just like everything else we've ever done."
I kiss her lips. "That sounds perfect, future Dr. Rizzoli-Isles."
With a smile, "however, about to be Detective Rizzoli-Isles…in the future, if you want to come down and make things all about me in my office…you have my blanket permission."
TBC...