Chapter 2: Onset
His smile never left his face as his silver hair fell across the bridge of his nose, only to fall around the corner of his eyes as that smile seemed to spread. Even though you couldn't tell that he was able to see, he was watching all the monitors of the Las Noches for anything that might cause something to amuse or make him frown. Pushing one hallway into another, changing the layout of the building, he stopped with his finger hovering over another.
Looking back quickly at the ex shinigami that was sucking on a lollipop, he chimed, "Rabbit-hime, you might want to see this. It might interest you, if you wish that is." His gaze was on one monitor that was glued on one arrancar that looked like she was near death.
The snow white-haired woman perked up from the book that was sitting in her lap. Closing it with a bookmark in the pages, she hopped out of the chair with the lollipop still hanging from her mouth. Strolling over to the ex captain – one of them – that defected from the Soul Society, she rested her chin on his shoulder.
Her arms embraced him while her dark blue eyes fell onto the monitor that had Gin's attention. Seeing the state the arrancar was in, the way the fragment of the mask was located at, it told her who it was. She was glad that the man that hid everything about him behind that mask of a fox told her about the arrancar.
Her gaze stayed on the screen, watching as Tora looked around, panting while her hand was encased in blood from the wound in her neck. She didn't seem to notice the streams of blood falling from her back, making Madoka wince every time she watched her subordinate move around. Every move of the arrancar woman's neck made more blood fall from her, leaving a trail for the tormenter to follow.
The long-haired woman froze suddenly with her gaze down the hall that she was in. Her green eyes were wide with fear and it soon showed why. Grimmjow lunged at her, grabbing her face in his large hand and slamming it against the wall.
Madoka hissed and started to growl. She wouldn't stand for the treatment her friend was going through. She had to get there; she knew that. Madoka yelled, "Dammit Jaegerjaques Grimmjow!"
After that sentence was finished, she shunpo to the location where the cat like arrancar was getting traumatized. If she didn't make it in time then her subordinate would surely die to the espada's hands.
Gin looked over his shoulder, seeing the ex shinigami gone. The normal smile that he usually wore was gone. His light blue eyes flashed back to the monitor that was displaying the fight that Tora and Grimmjow were in. At least it seemed like Tora was about to pass out from the lack of blood so it wasn't a fight in his eyes.
Yep, it's a lot better to me. A lot more detail compared to what the original was. I know I didn't mention this in the summary but there will be lemons later on but I hope I don't lose readers because of it. Please review.