A/N: This is the final chapter of my first fanfic, but I will be following the ladies and their family via either a sequel or a series of one shots. Thanks to everyone for the kind words, I sincerely hope you've had fun because I sure have. Rizzoli & Isles are not mine but belong to TNT, J.T., T.G., A.H., S.A, etc.

Ch 19

I walked into the bullpen three days after our custody issue was settled still feeling like I could conquer the world. Frost and I had caught a case the morning after our celebratory adoption family dinner, but we were able to close it quickly. Despite the fact that we had to work with Dr. Pike…the dumbass. Maura had taken the rest of the week off to be with Jackson, so I was forced to interact with the most inept M.E. available. I must admit though…it was sorta fun to watch him squirm when I talked about Maura and Jackson. I knew he had hit on Maura a few months ago before we were together after he had downed a few too many. Any time I could flash my wedding ring or mention my "beautiful wife" being at home with our son I did…and yes, I infused it with smart-ass! I smiled ear-to-ear just thinking about it, until I saw it on my desk.

An envelope addressed to me sitting on my desk…in Tommy's handwriting.

"What a perfect day, baby. Despite the brisk temperatures it is quite lovely out. Isn't it? And with the new warm clothes for my growing boy, you were comfortable, weren't you, sweetie?" I love watching Jackson's eyes as he listens to me. I know I could speak nonsense to him, and he would still appear transfixed, but it is amazing to me to watch him observe his world. He is getting stronger, bigger, and more engaging each and every day. Soon he will be sitting up completely on his own and then crawling. He is a wonder to me. I feel a love so deep that words could not hope to describe it and science could not hope to explain it. My son.

After our custody hearing surprise, all I could do was demand that Jane rush us home.

"Jane use your siren, I don't care. Please get us home quickly! I want to see Jackson."

"Sweetheart I will, but I have no intention of killing us on the third greatest day of our lives."

"Third? Third? That's how you rate today? This isn't the top?"

"Nope," she smiles while she drives. When she doesn't offer more, I move my hand in the 'hurry-up, go on' signal. "The second greatest day in my life was opening the door to your house and finding a baby wrapped up waiting for us. A beautiful boy destined to be ours. But…the first, the best day of my life was the day you married me."

"Jane…I suppose when you put it that way, I would rank them in the same order. But right now…I am beyond happy, and I want our son. Step on it!"

"Yes, dear."

Jackson is tucked away for his afternoon nap which gives me two hours to rest and to do small tasks around our home. Upon entering the kitchen for a bottle of water, I found an envelope propped prominently on the island. It was hand-addressed simply saying, "Maura".

Maura,

I am going to stay gone from Boston for a while, but I wanted to say a few things before I left. First off, I gotta tell you that you are a great mom. I've watched you with Jackson and you are a natural.

I did not want to be a dad, but if I was to be honest, I dreamed a bit. Only it wasn't Lydia I saw being the mom…it was you. I thought maybe I had a chance with you, if Jackson was my kid. I knew you liked him and all. Even if he turned out to be my Dad's kid, I thought if you liked him maybe I could be the dad you needed to make the family you seemed to kinda want.

Never…ever did I see you with my sister. I knew you liked her and that she was your friend, but this? You both were with guys. You slept with guys. You acted like you liked me, and I don't understand. But I will try…I promise. I just need time to sort through a lot of things including you marrying my sister.

I hope you are happy because you deserve it, Maura. Thanks for being a good person and for letting my Ma be a grandma. She's really happy and that means a lot to me. I hope I helped you a little bit, and I'm sorry if I upset you during all of this. I'm going to try to be better and come back a better son, brother, and uncle.

Fingers crossed….love,

Tommy

I wiped away a few stray tears from my cheeks as I finished reading. Tears for a son who seems so lost. Tears for my wife's brother who needs to come back to his family, as he said…better.

Jane,

I know you probably got a million questions for me, and if I was right in front of you, you'd deck me or kick me in the balls. I also know I might deserve it.

There's lots I need to say to you but some will have to wait until I come back to Boston. I'm leaving for a while. If I am ever going to get my shit together, I need to get away from the past. I've screwed up so many times. I walk these streets and see where this fight happened, or where I passed out drunk, or where I hid from the cops, or whatever the hell else I'd fucked up. I want to just start fresh, find a job, and get my head together for a while. I hope you get that. And I hope you let me and make Ma let me, too. I will check in with my parole officer. He knows what I'm doing, so don't worry. I know you could find me if you wanted through him, but I'm asking you not to. Don't let Ma sweet-talk him either. I'll talk to her twice a week, I promise. But I don't want to see anybody for a while.

I'm sorry, Jane. I was a douche bag at your wedding. I can't even blame it on the liquor…I was just angry. I really liked Maura and thought things might work with her. I never saw this happening between you guys. Shit, Jane! You're gay. Like I said…I fought guys who talked like that about you. I started thinking though. I socked those guys because they didn't know you or do anything to build you up. They just wanted to tear you down…sorta like what I did at your wedding and after when I talked to Ma. Those guys didn't care if you were happy or sad or anything. I am sorry I acted like them.

I know Ma told you everything I said and did. I sucked big time that night. I also heard what you said to her…trying to be loving about me. The sorry ass brother who almost wrecked your wedding and you were nice. You stuck up for me and talked about wanting good things for me after what I said and did. Jane, I was there that night. I sneaked into Maura's house and stayed out of sight. I wanted to watch you two when you got back from your honeymoon. I don't know… I just wanted to see for myself. I guess I still thought maybe it was a joke or something just to get Jackson for Maura or somethin'. But I heard you talk to Ma, saw you at dinner…I saw Maura with Jackson. And I heard you talk to each other when no one else was around. Don't worry…I'm not a total perv. I didn't listen or watch anything real private. But I heard you and heard that you really did love each other. You love Maura…like really love her. More than me. And she loves you.

I decided right then that I needed to do something to be a better brother for once. Sis…I knew or at least had a pretty good idea where Lydia was the whole time. She had mentioned some things to me when we were, ya' know, together. I never told you even though I knew how hard you were looking for her and even though you asked me. I lied to you. I didn't want her to come back. I thought maybe the baby gave me a chance with Maura. Pretty dumbass, huh?

But when I figured things out about you and Maura, I wanted to help a little. She never would have come back for Jackson, but I thought if I brought her in it might make things go faster for you. I guess that part worked out like I thought at least. She didn't need to be a mom, but you and Maura deserve it. I know you love that baby…and that you love each other. You are a good ma, Jane.

I'll come home sometime and when I do maybe we can go grab a beer and make things better between us. I still love ya' Janey. I'm sorry for the things I've done and said. I'll try real hard to make it up to you and everybody, but I better get myself together so I can do that. Congrats sis…on your family. I really do hope you're happy.

Tommy

When I made it home from the station, Maura and Jackson were in the kitchen making dinner. Jack really likes 'riding' in that baby Bjorn or whatever on Maura's chest while she cooks. When she is at the stove or oven he has to be in his bouncer, but if it is gathering ingredients or basic prep stuff, he literally hangs with her. Of course…who wouldn't want to ride Maura's boobs? I mean really…rack of God!

"Hello to my baby and my sweetheart. Mama's home!" I walk to them and begin to unattach Jackson from Maura. "Damn, M. How do I get him out of this thing again? I've seen the bomb squad work with things that had less straps and shit."

"Language, Jane!"

"Sorry…." I get him loose and take him in my arms. "Sugar, sugar, snuggle, snuggle!" I dive into Jack's little chubby neck to kiss him. My day just got so much better.

"How was work, Jane?"

I take one step to put myself in her space before I reply, "Interesting, but I missed you." I kissed her gently, "I love you."

"And I you." She kissed me with equal tenderness and then, "Jane I got a letter from Tommy today."

We each read the other's letters from Tommy after Jackson went to bed. We agreed to have our normal evening before we dealt with anything else. Our family time is too special to us, and we do not want to infringe upon it. I was quite taken aback at the admissions Tommy made to Jane. How could he have known where Lydia was all that time and not told us?

"Don't worry about it, Maur." Jane kisses my forehead. "I know you are wondering how Tommy could have done some of the things he did…how he could have lied to us about Lydia. You have that little frown line in the middle of your forehead you get. Just let it go…that's what I've decided to do."

"Have you, Jane? Can you just 'let it go'?" This is her family. The Rizzoli's are passionate about each other even when they disagree they are family to the end. "Are you just going watch him leave, so to speak?"

"Maura. I ran the range of emotions when I read that letter. I was pissed at him. How dare he say some of those things? Do some of those things? Then I was sad. He really cared about you and acted like a love sick teenager because of it. The loving you part I completely understand. I guess I can't be mad about that," she kissed me briefly but deeply. "I was also sad because he sounded so lost. He's my baby brother, and I don't want him to be like this. I want him to be happy. Then…then, I just decided I had to let him go. I felt peaceful. He ultimately did a good thing and is saying the right things now. I can't hover over him or put a leash on him. He is a grown man and has to make his own decisions…and live with them. I'll always love him and support him when I can. But…I have my own family now. I have a wife and son who mean more to me than anything. I cannot be the eternal caretaker of the Rizzolis. Ma will be fine, and I'll be there if she needs me…Frankie is a good man and he knows I'll have his back when he needs it. But Jackson and you are my priority, period. No one comes before you. Nothing comes before your needs to me. So…Tommy has a plan, and I will not be in his way or holding his hand."

I know how hard this is for her, but I can tell that she is at peace with this. At peace with this new re-organization of her life which now places Jackson and me at the top. Jane Rizzoli placing you at the top of her focus is a heady experience. "Detective…I think I like this new philosophy you have. But don't think for a second that I would ask you to set your family aside for me."

"I don't. You wouldn't, I know that."

"However, it makes my heart swell…not literally of course…to know that you reinforce your commitment to our family each day. We have so much to be thankful for, so much to take joy in."

"Yep…and right now, I think I'd like to take joy in my gorgeous wife." Her hands are suddenly everywhere on my body. I am quickly pinned under her and my clothes begin disappearing.

"Ohhhh…take joy sweetheart…take whatever you want."

Later in our bed, I hold Maura simply touching her. "What are you thinking?" Her words are spoken quietly. I kiss the top of her head and continue to stroke her body.

"I'm thinking what a great future we have waiting for us. I know it won't all be roses and champagne or anything, but I'm….excited. I want to watch Jackson grow and then in a coupla' years have more kids like we talked about. I want to make love to you every day." I stop to kiss her again. "I want to watch your brilliant mind work while we try to get justice for victims. I want to make you smile and laugh…I want it all, M."

"Jane…we have it all don't you think?" She rolls herself on top of me and begins to get a little more frisky again.

"Yeah…yeah we do, sweetheart. When we decided to grab the future we wanted, we didn't do it half-ass did we?"

"Language, Jane."

"Yes, dear." No more words were needed as I found peace, comfort, and extreme pleasure in the arms of my wife.