AN: Thanks to Seaspy for reviewing! Sorry this isn't getting updated much, I'm more focused on some of my other fics, school, and I have this terrible thing called laziness. I would not be as good as surviving in Z-land as these four. Gonna fish for reviews here, because I'd like to see how many people actually read this, and if any of you have any ideas/requests and I like them I could give them a go. (if you read my Drabbles then it's the same exact set up)

Rule Number One:
Cardio

They'd split up, which, admittedly, was never the best plan when it came to the post-apocalyptic world with the infected running rampant, but they had. Tallahassee and Wichita had gone to one side of the plaza, Wichita going into a clothing store while Tallahassee went into the alcohol store. Columbus and Little Rock headed to the opposite side of the plaza, Little Rock wanting to explore the Dollar Tree.

Given that they had split up, Tallahassee was ready when he heard gunshots, exiting the store to see Little Rock come running across the parking lot at them, gesturing wildly. The twelve year old knew better than to shout, but she looked dangerously close to doing so. What ended up surprising the Floridian, and Wichita when she came out of the clothing store with an armful of clothes, was that Little Rock was alone, without any zombies insight.

"We got cornered, and I-" Little Rock had to pause to take in large gasps of air, out of breath. "Collie's face-I couldn't-I dropped my gun, and then it got worse, and he ran out of bullets but distracted them!"

Tallahassee shot Wichita a questioning look, but the girl was just as confused by her sister's jumbled response as he was. The twelve year old was desperately trying to regain her breath, shaking ever so slightly and looking ready to cry. Wichita tried to get her to talk, but Little Rock couldn't manage to, dragging them both over to the Dollar Tree that she and Columbus had gone to earlier.

"Little Rock… If Columbus is…" Wichita hesitated, unable to make herself say it, and swallowed hard instead. Whatever happened to staying unattached, to just the two of them? "It's not your fault. He'd not blame you, you know that."

Little Rock, managing to recollect herself somewhat, shook her head. Tallahassee and Wichita followed the preteen into the Dollar Tree, surveying it, but there was no sign of any of the infected, or Columbus. No sign of a struggle at all. Little Rock led them to a ladder and they all went up it, going out on to the roof of the store.

Wichita dumped the clothing, getting out the pistol she had taken to carrying. Tallahassee was already armed and ready, but there was no fight to be had on the roof, either. Instead they watched as Little Rock walked to the edge and just stood there, putting a hand to her mouth. They went closer slowly, even Wichita unsure why her sister was acting this way.

As they got closer they began to hear the sounds of the infected, and the blurred speech of someone talking at a fast rate. Wichita stood on Little Rock's left and Tallahassee took her right. Little Rock's shaking seemed to increase, and belatedly, Tallahassee and Wichita realized it was from laughter, and not the worry they had assumed it to be, as both stared down at the scene before them in silence. The only thing that broke it was Little Rock's growing snickers, and the usually quiet Columbus, who they could hear quite clearly as he ran.

Columbus was running from zombiefied strippers, and he looked absolutely horrified. Some of the ladies were entirely naked, while others had on various forms of skimpy outfits and lingerie; some even had tassels on their nipples. One was dressed as a maid, another a cat girl, a clown, and a fourth in a dominatrix outfit. The one in the dominatrix outfit had a leash wrapped around her wrist, stilled leading to the collar, which was somehow still attached to some poor sap's head, long dead by now. All of them, which appeared to be around fifteen, had some amount of blood on them, apparently having feasted on their clients, or on each other. There was a copious amount of body glitter, too.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

It seemed to be the ex-college student's mantra as he ran from the deceased strippers, even more desperate than he would be normally. Little Rock had been the one that noticed that there seemed to be a partially hidden parking lot behind the plaza, and had gone to see what was there, hoping for a relatively safe looking Starbucks and really stale pasties. Instead they'd found a seedy looking stripper joint, the naked lady portrayed on the door having been splattered with blood.

He had thought it couldn't have gotten worse when the first one had appeared, somewhat acceptably covered in a school girl outfit. Then the clown stripper had appeared, which was just so many levels of wrong that he had fired blindly, missing the clown but managing to get a red head right between the eyes. More and more of them had appeared out of seemingly everywhere, one that was under a car and looked like it had been run over managing to grab his ankle and make him fall. Little Rock shot it before it could bite him, but the preteen had been laughing so hard she'd dropped it and had to forfeit picking it up because of the dead Betty Boop that seemed to want to eat her brains. In the end she'd had to run while Columbus played a delicious decoy, the boy running laps around the parking lot until he could get rescued, as he quickly ran out of ammo.

As they watched, Columbus managed to leap over a trash can, the clown stripper not as coordinated and smacking her face off the ground, tripping some of the other infected as they tried to continue chasing him. He took it as an opportunity to run to the side of the seedy looking stripper joint, practically hurling himself at the rain gutter that was coming down, scaling it before it could break under his roof and pulling himself to safety on the roof.

Wichita watched the awkward male she had slowly begun to fall in love with be chased, biting her bottom lip, torn between laughing and crying in relief that he was still okay. Thank God for his first rule. Columbus was one of the skinniest guys she'd ever seen, and it didn't help that he'd skip meals so one of them could have more to eat, but damn could he run. She slowly moved over to the pile of clothes she had dumped in the corner, digging out the lingerie she had picked out.

"Don't think he'll be happy to see me in this anytime soon," Wichita deadpanned, tossing it over the side of the roof.

That was when Tallahassee finally lost it, laughing loudly. It would take the trio awhile before they could finally calm down enough to go and save Columbus. After that, both Little Rock and Wichita got the silent treatment for two days, though Tallahassee got it for nearly two weeks, but that was only because he'd constantly bring it up and tease Columbus about it.