What's Done In The Dark: The King's Concubine

Dear Diary 19

The old castle was indeed perfect for the party. It had everything I needed and it was clean and beautiful. The area was also very soothing and environmentally friendly. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it.

"Wow! Why abandon such a beautiful castle?" I asked.

"Diamond thought it was too small. By the time I came back, the new castle was built and everyone had moved into it." Darien answered.

"This castle has about one hundred bedrooms right? What's so small about this?" I asked.

"Diamond had issues." Darien answered simply. It was his way of saying why ask me, I'm not my brother. Somehow, that brought home the fact that he and his brother never got along.

"Well I think it's perfect. Now all we need are the guard's and Lord Prime to show them their duties for this event."

"Martial is currently picking the best of the guards. They will be ready by ready by the third hour." Prime said.

"Very good. I want a proper tour of this castle, care to accompany me?" I asked, looking at Darien. He smiled and nodded.

"We will meet up in an hour to head back. If you're not here by then we will leave you." Darien said though I couldn't be sure if he jested on the last part.

"Noooooooooo, you cannot leave me! The ladies of our kingdom would cry! They love me!" Jadeite said dramatically.

"A few crying girls, I think we can handle that don't you?" Darien said, looking at prime with a mischievous smile.

"Eiy My Lord. They will be no problem."

"Oh, how can you be so cold! These young ladies, whose heart are pure and true and filled with love only for me cannot be handled except by the gentleness of ways! To leave me behind to be eaten by wolves will cause their hearts to crumble and they will perish of broken heart!" But by the time he finished that whole dramatic gestures and words of woe, we were nearly out of sight. I found myself laughing. Jadeite was definitely a joker.

"He's much of a fool isn't he?" Darien said.

"Not at all. He jests much but a fool is not a description of his character." I defended. Darien stopped walking which brought me too to a stop, let go of my hand and walked in front of me. I could only blink at his sudden change of mood. And I knew his mood had changed, I had felt the stiffness of his hand right before he let go of mine. I rushed to catch up with him.

"What is amiss Darien?"

"Nothing." Maybe I would have believed that nothing was wrong if his voice had not sounded stiff and frustrated.

"Nothing doesn't cause your sudden mood swing. Please, tell me. have I done something to displease you?"

"You have not.

"Then why are you suddenly so upset."

"I am not."

"You are too!" I raised my voice just a little louder than I wanted to but he was upsetting me with answers that were all lies.

"I am fine." I wanted to growl. I raised my skirts and moved faster to stand in his way.

"Darien, tell me what is wrong." I said, making him stop.

"There is nothing wrong." She said again, tension still in his voice.

"Do you think me a fool to believe such a blunted lie?" I asked again, filling my voice with the anger that was rising in me. We had come too far in our relationship for him to find it convenient now to lie to me.

"When I say there is nothing wrong, then there isn't." he nearly hissed. I was surprised. I was about to believe that maybe there really wasn't anything wrong but the fact that he wasn't looking at me but off to the side made it very obvious that he was lying to me. But I could I make he speak without it turning to be an argument?

"Darien, Darien look at me." I said but he would not, not even when I placed my fingers to his chin and tried to move his face to mine.

"Darien!"

"What?" My heart jumped in alarm and panicked sort of raced through me for a brief moment. He had yelled! Yelled at me! I think this was the first time he had ever yelled at me in such manner. And for a moment I had seen Mr. Adams, whenever he would yell at me and threaten the safety of my brother. But I was not facing Mr. Adam so I could not handle Darien the way I would with Mr. Adam which was meekly accepting whatever he was yelling at me for.

"Very well." I said and turned around to walk on ahead. Two can play this game.

I could only sigh at my stupidity. I can't believe I had yelled at her! For what? Because she was worried about me? With her back turned to me with all the meanings of hurt I knew I had just inflicted on her, I felt like a fool. I was angry yes, but I had no right to take it out on her since my anger had no basis.

She had escaped from me to take refuge in protective arms of Hotaru's family. That had been my fault, I had pressured her into situations she would have otherwise never encountered in her life and when she had finally found safety, I went like a robber in the night, and stole away from her the little freedom she had and caged her once again like a bird.

But she was back now, with me. By my side, this time of her own free will. Yet since that day I encountered Hotaru's family and their over protectiveness of her, especially jadeite's, I had never been able to fully put to rest my suspicion that she may have loved him. After all, he is the one she spoke most often off. Even if she had not yet loved him, would she have if I had not come there to take her away? It seemed as close as she was with all of them; she was even closer to him. If it wasn't love, then what drew them so close together? What made him so special and different from the rest of his family? And why did she have to defend him!

Only a fool would have spouted the nonsense he had! So why did she defend him!

'I am such a child' I thought. Even long before I had left the castle for the world outside our kingdom, Jadeite had always been this way but I also knew that he was not a fool yet I couldn't stand it! The closeness he had with Serena, it bothered me. Say something was to happen between us, she would run to him wouldn't she. Ran to him and leave me and I knew he would open his arms for her; after all, he loved her. I knew, I had known since that day at their house. Yet she suspected nothing. What would she do if she knew? Would it compromise her feelings for me? Would she reconsider throwing in the towel and pulling out of this battle? I wanted to ask her but I was too afraid. Afraid of the possibility, even the tiniest that she may have considered him suitable for her.

And now look the mess I had caused!

I stretched out my hand to touch her shoulder with the intention of pulling her backwards to me and hold her but she moved. It was as if she sensed my intentions or my hand in any case and made an obvious move to avoid me and so I retreated my hand.

And so we continued to walk in silence with me not knowing what to do. There was this sudden fear that was growing in me.

What if.

That was all I could think of.

What if….what if we retreated back into how our relationship had been? To when I was the only one who cared? To when I had to use unethical means to bind her to me? To when…

My eyes widened as I saw again in my memories of the three day torture I had deliberately put her through. Back then, the only thing I could think of was making her mine by all means necessary. I had never considered her feelings and even afterwards it was all and always about me. And I had never apologized, ever. For all I had done to her, the forcefulness, the rape, the manipulation of her being, the threats, the lack of freedom and so on. I had never truly apologized to her!

If we were to revert back to back….would my only means of keeping her be putting her through all that I did before? This time would I even have the strength or the heart to do something so terrible? Again?

NO!

No no no! I couldn't do that again! I would let us revert back! Not now not ever! And I knew if I didn't do something to dispel the current situation, we would be at odds and she might lose her reason for fighting.

No! I was wrong for my actions! I was wrong now as I was then! No one ever had to experience what she went through! It was wrong, I was wrong. What had seemed like a necessity then now appeared to be a sadistic and extreme measure of a lunatic maniac.

Even if I was to lose Serena again, those measures would never again be employed to restore her to me! Ever!

With my mind firmly fixed and made up, I lengthened my stride until I was by her side, picked her up and began running as she protested.

"What are you doing! Put me down! Put me down! Now!" I wanted to because she had asked me but I couldn't. I wanted to apologize to her but I wanted it to be at a certain place that held a measure of importance to me in this castle.

"Just hold on a bit longer." I said as gently as I could as I picked up my pace, rounding corners and shadows until I came to the door of the place I sought. I finally sat Serena on her feet and grabbed the knobs on the double door. With a deep breath, I opened the door and the wonderful scent of roses and wild flowers awakened our sense of smell. I entered and moved a bit aside to make room for her to enter. I hadn't been in this castle for nearly ten years and it was abandoned almost seven years ago yet the queen's garden looked as beautiful as ever.

"Wow." I heard her whisper and I knew I had at least done one thing right. The last time I was here was the day I returned from my long absence to the outside world. I wanted to see my dead mother and say my apologies for not being here for her funeral and to also say my final goodbye.

"What is this place?" Serena asked, running into the room and turning around to have a full view of the room.

"My mother's special garden."

"Wow, it's beautiful."

"It was the only thing that brought her comfort. My mother lived a very sad and bitter life." I hadn't realized that my tone had been sorrowful until I saw the worried look on her face. I was aware all over again that not even her anger at me could ever cloud her worry and love for me. I was a fool to anger her because of my foolish fear.

"Come." I said to her as I stretched out a hand. She looked at me for a minute, probably debating if it was better to still be mad at me or to be swayed but in the end, she placed her hand in mine and I felt peace in my soul. She really did have the magic touch, a touch meant only for me.

I led her through the garden, pointing out some flowers she didn't know and showing her places I used to hide whenever I needed to escape. The garden was big with a fountain of an angle in flight at its center and water gashing out of it. Beyond the fountains is an area specifically designed for sitting and enjoying the view of the majestically designed garden.

"This is a wonderful place to relax. With the cool wind coming from above open windows, the warm sunlight breaking in through the glass walls, the refreshing and tasteful sight; everything in here has a sort of therapeutic effect, especially in a mind that is disturbed and a body that is exhausted. This is the perfect place to liberate ones soul and to restore peace in ones being."

"It was for this very reason that my mother often refused to leave the garden. Look to your right." I told her and she looked and though I stood behind her, I knew she was blinking. There was a door, not the one we entered in with but a completely different door that seemed to be a part of the garden. If it is not pointed out, it often goes unnoticeable.

"Where does that door lead to?" she asked.

"I will show you, but first, I want to show you something." I said. I took her hand and led her to the far right that that was sealed off by branches and vines and an arch way that served as a gate. We walked to the archway gate and stepped through. Serena gasped, her eyes huge and her body trembling.

"Is that…is it really…"

"Yes, this is my mother's tomb. She always used to say that she should be buried in her beautiful garden when she dies. I suppose she thought that she could take it with her. The garden that was her one and only sanctuary. I know this garden is exceptional and everything but there are as much beautiful garden in various places in and out of our kingdom, I just cannot understand why this one held such an extreme importance to her. I know this garden had more meaning to her other than its therapeutic effect but I never had the time to discover it."

I watched as she approached the tombstone and placed her hand on it. As soon as her fingers touched the tomb stone, it pulsated. Literally, it vibrated and three circles of light rose up and disappeared, like calm water disturbed by a thrown stone.

"Serena!" I said frantically, hoping she wasn't hurt but after opening my eyes from the brightness of the light, she was not present.

"Serena!" I screamed, moving quickly to the tomb stone and touching it too. But there was no reaction to my touch and I had a sudden fear that Serena might be buried alive.

Terror, anxiety and rage rose up in me all at once. What the heck had happened to Serena! But the rage was directed at myself for bringing her to such a place. I stood up, turning around in circle but there was no trace of her.

"Serena! Serena where are you!" I screamed but there was no answer.

"What in blazes is going on!" I yelled but my voice only bounced back to me. I didn't know what to do; I didn't even know what had happened! How did a person disappear from just touching a grave stone?

"Give Serena back to me!" I yelled, pounding my hand on the stone slab hard enough that a tiny crack appeared. I don't know if it was because of my punch, but it pulsated again and the three rings of light exploded out as it had been before. This time I did not close my eyes and I watched in wonder as Serena floated out through the stone.

"No!" she screamed and I blink. She looked at me and her eyes were angry.

"Why did you pull me out! She wanted to tell me something!"

"She?"

"Your mother!"

"Then she could have given me a warning! How was I suppose to react when one minute you're here and the next your gone!" I yelled back and we found ourselves glaring at each other.

She suddenly sighed and her body sagged against the stone and my sudden agitation vanished.

"I'm sorry. I was just worried."

"I know." She said with a sigh. "That door leads to her room right? Take me there."

I nodded and picked her up into my arms and a chill went through me. It was happening again. The weakness I had felt in her body the night before, it was here now. I could literally see her trying not to sleep, her whole body felt so fragile and she looked pale and I knew this had nothing to do with the weird event concerning the tomb stone.

I walked her to the door and sat her gently against it. After I made sure she was comfortable, I leaned up, stretching my hand over the door to grab at a vine there. I pulled the vine and trailed my finders through its open center until my hand touched what I searched for. Taking a hold of it, I pulled out the key that my mother often kept hidden there and proceeded to opening the door.

"Neat way to hide your key."

"Tell me about it. Her explanation was that no adult would think to look in a vine for a key and it was high enough that no child can reach it. She said children had the tendency of looking at weird places adults would never consider, for that reason she placed it so high above them. So even if they want to look over there, they won't reach it."

"She sounds like a smart lady." She commented.

"She was. But she was also very sad and lonely."

"Why?"

"My father used to abuse her."

I heard her breath drawn in.

"The king?"

"He was a tyrant. And though the kingdom couldn't see it, everyone of his family knew. After all, we were the ones he was most cruel with. Especially me and my mother." I confessed, my mind delving into memories I had long buried. That tyrant of a father of mine had been the one to kill my mother. My mother died long before she was buried.

"I knew the king was strict but never suspected that it ran so deep as to be abusive."

"He was a master at keeping it out of the people's sight."

"Oh." She said, her voice laced with sadness and pain. I took her hand and pushed the door inwards before bending to lift her into my arms. We entered the darkroom with only the light coming from the garden as our only source of sight. But I knew this room like the back of my hand. The entire palace had electricity except the garden and this room, preferences of my mother.

With Serena in my arms, I maneuvered around the dressers pots of flowers my mother had all around the room until I reached the bed and laid Serena gently on it.

"Stay put until I turn on the lamps." I told her, moving away from the bed to the right side of it where one of the lamps hanged from a crook. It was a special lamp shape almost like a person with a glass orb at it center. This kind of lamp is often found only in our kingdom and in the continent of Africa. It was where we had ours imported from. It was very convenient when the lights are off but inconvenient when you ran out of kerosene since it was the source that made the lamp light up. I found the match and tilted the glass orb before lighting the match and bringing it to the heart of the lamp. It quickly caugh on fire like a candle and I pushed the glass orb back in place. The way it lights up is like a candle but its brightness was far reaching and lighter. It was enough to see the entire room but not enough to say the room was really bright.

I moved from that candle, walked around the bed with Serena's eyes trailing after me to the candle at the left side of the bed and lit that one up too and the effect was like a light bulb. Bright and luminous. I walked to the door which side each held a lamp and lit both of them and the effect was like a room light by the sun itself. very bright. I closed and locked the door before turning to the bed but Serena was not on it. She had moved to the dresser and was leaning up to grab at something but she was short. I went up behind her and wrapped one hand around her waist.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"A key."

"A key? To what?" I asked in confusion. If there was key up there, how had she known?

"To open the last drawer of the lamp stand on the left side of the bed." She said and I looked at the small dresser by the lamp I had just lit. True enough, it had two drawers but how had she known about a key to open the second drawer? Even I didn't know it needed a key to open.

I leaned up and moved my hand around before touching something that felt like a small key. I picked it up and showed it to her. she nodded and smiled before taking it out of my hand. Then she rushed to the drawer and made to open it.

"How had you know about the key and what are you searching for in the drawer?" I asked her as I stood behind her.

"Your mother was about to tell me something when you called to me. She knew she couldn't keep me there long enough to tell me what she wanted to since you were about to break the tomb stone. If you had, I would never have been able to return." I paled at what she had said. My lack of control could easily get her killed. I was starting to see what a danger I truly was to her.

"Anyway, before I was pulled out, she showed me the door, the key on top of the tall dresser and the last drawer of the left lamp stand. I just have a feeling that whatever she wanted to tell me is in the drawer." She said as she held the handle and gently pulled at it. When the drawer came loose and open, we found nothing but a quill, an ink and a dirty old book that might have once been a very beautiful dairy. A big dairy.

Normal dairy's are small but this was big, not in shape but in the size. The shape was a regular small rectangular book but this diary had huge amount of inside papers. But the edges looked torn and the book was so worn out that the design could barely be seen.

Sere lifted the diary out of the drawer and moved back to sit on the bed and stared at it. I watched her face as she debated whether she should open it or not. In the end, she looked up at me and offered me the book. I blinked at her.

"Why are you giving that to me?" I really didn't want to be bothered with it.

"I feel it is more appropriate for her son to open it instead of a total stranger like me." she said.

"There was a reason you had been the one she pulled into the grave and when I pulled you out, you were the one she showed how to reach this book. You must read it." I said. She looked at me for a minute and sighed.

"Sit and read with me." she said and to that I had no opposition. I sat behind her, both out legs hanging off the bed. She opened the book and took in a deep breath. Though the pages see old, the writing was clear as day. The first entrance was dated nearly fifty years ago and the hand writing was sloppy.

"Dear diary, my name is Angelina Yvonne Nelson and I'm ten years old. Because I have a name, you too must have one so you I will call you Eva. Mama got you for me today. We will be great friends and I will tell you all my secrets. The ones I can't tell anyone. Mama said that as a lady, I must keep my thoughts and feelings that aren't accepted by society into myself but it is hard. Today I hit Martha, she was making fun of my servant and it bothered me. Everyone laughed at Windy, that's my servant's name. Martha was just being plain cruel. Martha has been my only real friend since my birth, what I can tell no one, I can tell her. So it hurt that Martha would make fun of her and I got so angry that I hit her. Mama always said that I should never use violence in anyway. I'm sorry I disappointed her but Martha wouldn't shut up even when I told her to. And now Windy has been taken away from me to serve my older sister. I am so upset! I didn't talk to mama after she let daddy take windy away. I didn't eat and I did badly at my lessons. I think she wants to make up by giving me this diary but I'm still very upset with her.

What is a lady? Why is it so important that to be a lady I must hide who I am and be what everyone thinks I should be? I don't want to be a lady! I don't! And I want Windy back too!"

Serena finished reading.

"I guess this is the diary of your mother. And it starts from the age of ten." Serena said.

"Yeah." I replied softly. There was something about this first entry that was so innocent. And though she wrote about her feelings of sadness for her only friend being taken away from her, I got the sense from it that she had been a happy child, a rebellious happy child. Why had she changed so much to become the sad woman whose eyes were always dark with sorrow?

"Should we go on?" Serena asked.

"Sure." I said and wrapped my arms around her face before burying my face in the crook of her neck.

"Alright." She said and began reading the second entrée. As she read, we saw through my mother's eyes. Her struggles to find her own identity even as she tried to please those around her by being the lady society dictated. We met with her when she met her one true friend. A lady I had come to now know was Serena's Mother. Lady Serenity Ivy Snow. We saw as she matured from a little girl to a young woman, we saw as her beauty captivated men across the kingdom yet her heart could not be touch. We saw as she realized that little of herself was accepted and so she had to abandoned her individuality in other to fit in so she wouldn't bring shame to her family. We saw as she passed the marrying age and yet continued to refused to marry the suitors that kept coming, even when her family tried to force her into arrange marriages, she fought them and refused. We watched as her family gave up on her and forced her to become a nun. This I had never known, that my mother had once been a nun.

It was her 20th birthday entrée that really caught our attention.

"Eva, he is here. It is him! I know it, the man meant for me! But there is a problem….he is the king! And oddly enough he is not that much older than me. He had no choice but to take the crown at the age of sixteen when his father passed away. But now he is 20 and five and yet he does not have a wife. I am of a respectable linage to be accepted as his wife but I am a nun and cannot go against the rules. Nuns can never get married or be involved in any relationship that is not strictly empowering of our religion. I have already shamed my family by refusing to marry and becoming a nun, I will hurt them more by breaking the only honor I have left. Oh but Eva you should see him. Strong and powerful. His gaze left me breathless, his voice shook my body and his eyes, oh Eva, his eyes are flames of sapphire! As he bowed and prayed with us sisters behind and praying with him, I found myself praying to be with him. I knew in that moment that my heart had been captured.

I must write to Serenity! She will be very thrilled to hear that my heart has finally found its soul companion!

Back to the king….

The most astonishing was that he asked for me. It shocked me that he even knew my name but he asked for me! And when he was brought to me, guess what he said!

"Happy Birthday Angelina!" he didn't even address me by my family name! And I wanted to melt against him. But I didn't show it. After twenty years of having to put on a mask, I was able to mask my feelings though for the first time in my life, I found myself doing so for my own safety, not for society. What would he think if he knew of my feelings? The woman who turned down everyman is smitten with him. Think what people will say. The fact that I am in love with him will not be mention, but instead I would be accusing of seeking the queenship position all this time. Such embarrassment I cannot face. Besides, just because he wished me a happy birthday and called me by my name is no means to hope for something more. I am a nun now and forever.

But even so….

Even so Eva…. I am a woman first and foremost."

"So she really did love father." I muttered. I felt Serena squeeze my hand.

"She really was a strong willed woman." Serena commented.

"Yes, but even so…she was a woman." I said, repeating my mother's words.

"No Darien, she was human. Being a woman has nothing to do with it."

We continued reading and finally it became very clear why this garden and this room held so much importance to her. It seemed that the king was paying a visit to the nunnery more often than before and eventually his aim and goal became evident. He was after mother and though mother knew it and pretty much everyone else knew it, mother would not give herself to him. Not even when he proposed marriage to her, she refused him. From the world's point of view, she was just being herself but through her diary we understood that she rejected him out of fear. A fear instilled in her by Lady Serenity. Evidently, Serena's mother had not been happy to hear the news of who mother had given her heart to. It seemed that every night she slept, she would dream of mother and the dream always was about how unhappy mother would be in the later part of her life. So unhappy it would kill her. Eventually though, by the urgings of her family, she gave in and accepted his proposal. On the day of their marriage, father gave this garden and this room to her as a present. The first true gift that really showed that father understood her character, not the mask of a lady she always wore.

There was more to read but the hour we had promised to meet the others were up.

"Somehow, I really don't want to leave here right now." Serena confessed. I saw her wistful expression and I couldn't force her to leave. And truthfully, I too wanted to know what had changed that innocent love affairs of my parents to that of the abusive one that befell me and my mother.

"Very well. We will stay here a little while longer. Let me go inform the others that they can leave. I will have prime come back for us in the evening." I said and her eyes shone with happiness.

"Thank yo.." but before she could finish, I kissed her hard for a moment before leaving to find the others.

It had been odd when the tombstone had pulsated with power. Before I could do anything, I was sucked into a void or a realm that was dark and eerie and cold. I had no idea where I was and Darien was nowhere near. I screamed for him but when there was no response, fear clutched at my heart. Where was I? And where was my love. I turned my head from left to right, up and down, back and forward but every surface look the same. It seemed I was walking though there was nothing on the floor I walked on.

Then when I felt I could not take it any longer, a light bloomed from above and banished the darkness I had been surrounded with. Then I saw a woman, a beautiful woman with long silver hair and icy blue eyes. She really was beautiful.

"Welcome stranger into the reflection of my heart." she said but her lips did not move. I saw that we were in the garden and I saw Darien yelling for me but it seemed he could not hear my responding answer. He was so worried and frightened.

"Who are you?" I asked the woman.

"I am his mother." she answered, ones again her lips did not move. I blinked.

"Darien's mother?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Why can he not hear me? Or us or even see us?" I asked. Watching Darien worriedly as he spun around looking for me.

"Because you are in the reflection of my heart, not in the physical world."

"I do not understand." I confessed, turning my attention back to her.

"The best way I can describe it is that this is a dimension, that is on the s same plane as my garden in reality. You can see him but he cannot see you because this reality is make believe, something that should not exist and does not." She said as she approached me. I watched her with wide eyes.

"Why have you brought me here?" I asked as she stopped a foot in front of me.

"For many years, I have waited for someone whose heart is much like my own to leave my son a finally message. Until the message is delivered onto him, my spirit will be forever trapped in this realm, unable to move on. My son must know that…" but before she could say whatever she wanted to say, the ground shook violently and I looked back at Darien and watched as a crack in the tomb stone appeared.

"Go! He calls you back. If you do not leave now, you will never be able to escape this realm. Go! But look to your right!" she said and I did, looked to my right where the red door I had seen earlier was. As she pointed, I saw through the room, a dresser with a key and the last drawer of the left lamp stand.

"Now go!" She said and I felt myself pulled back into reality.

Thinking about it now that Darien had left, I suddenly felt weird. She had said a person with a heart as her own. What did that mean? Darien had said his mother had been a very sad woman but from everything we have read from the dairy, it didn't match. If my heart was like her own, did it mean I was sad like she had been from Darien's account? Or was it as confused yet strong as what we have come to suspect in the dairy?

Which was which? But somehow, I was scared to find out.

"What I meant by your heart being like mine is that your heart is your individuality." When Darien had left the room, I laid back with one hand holding the diary on my heart and the other hand pillowing my head. But as soon as the voice answered my thoughts I sat up straighter, swinging my head from left to right but there was no one there. I blinked then my eyes went wide and watched as Darien's mother emerged from the ground.

"It seems I can transcend upwards into reality." She said. "Tell me my daughter, what is your name?" she asked.

"Serena."

"Your full name sweetie."

"Serenity Angelina Cyrus."

"Oh, Lord Cyrus of Titan's daughter?" she asked and I nodded. I was surprised she knew my father.

"He was a good man. Your mother, Serenity, was a dearest friend of mine."

"I am guessing you were the one I was named after. My middle name that is. She always used to say that she named me after her best friend." I told the late queen.

"Yes, and I was there to see your birth. I was most disturbed and hurt to have heard of their deaths in the fire."

"Death is a part of life." I said, something I have been saying to myself for ages. It was the only way to overcoming the grief of the loss of my parents.

"Yes, it is. But when death intervenes in life when it is not yet time, it is but a cruel joke."

"I do not understand my lady." I said.

"Your parent's death was not as accidental as it appeared. Someone specifically set the house on fire." She said and I sat in shock, my jaw hanging. Someone had deliberately attempted to murder us? Why?

"Because your parents stood in their way for gaining power." Lady Yvonne answered.

"Who!" I demanded. Who could possibly be that cruel?

"Think about it Serena, who at the time would have benefitted from the demise of your family?"

"But what is there to gain if my whole family is annihilated?"

"Remember what I said. Your father stood in their way of gaining power."

"Gaining power? The only means of gaining power is if the king promoted you into a higher po…si…tion! Mr .Adams!" I said in shock. My memories all of a sudden broke free and I remembered that at the time, the people had voted for my father as their mayor. I also remembered that whenever I would see Mr. Adam or his wife, they would glare at me! How could I not have seen it? All this tim...but then…

"Then why did they take us in?" I asked.

"He had meant to destroy your whole family at the time but when you and your brother survived, he was very scared. But then he realized that the king was going to send a very high class family to live in Titan to become the governor. When he realized that his efforts might become in vain, he adopted you and your brother into his household, a gesture that made people think he was a nice person. And so the people asked the king to make him their governor instead of the family that would be coming that they did not know. As long as you lived in his house and your brother was schooled until he turned twenty, they held the power. But once your brother turned twenty, he would become the new governor. That was the deal made between the Adams and the king." Lady Yvonne explained.

"That's why he wanted to send Seiya to that brutal school! If he was killed…"

"Then it would supposedly not be his fault and he could keep his power."

"What an evil man." I said, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Eiy, but remember this, my dear. Behind every great man is a good woman, and behind every evil man is also a bad woman. Well so says the proverbs." The queen said.

I sighed. To think all this time, I was living in the shadows of a murderer.

"So what will you do now?" The queen asked.

"About what?"

"The information you have now acquired about the death of your parents. What will you do with it?" I looked at her for a long time and sighed sadly.

"There is nothing I can do. One, there is no evidence against him and two, I learned of a truth from a ghost I am sorry to say. By the way, how did you come to learn of it?" I asked. I mean if she had known all this time and my mother had been such a good friend to her, wouldn't she have had the Adams arrested?

"When I died, I became aware of a unique power I had. Whenever a person steps into this room, I am able to read their thoughts and see their pasts. On the day of my burial, Adams and his wife were here and I read their thoughts and saw the crime they committed against my dearest friend. Mr. Adams himself was too frightened to have committed the act, but his wife urged him on."

"Oh."

"However, I can only read your thoughts but I cannot see your past."

"Why is that?"

"Your heart is too similar to mine. And I can't really read your thoughts; I can guess what you are thinking. That is how similar the both of us think."

"I see. What was it that you wanted me to tell Darien?" I asked.

"I wanted you to apologize to him for me. And to tell him that though I was a horrible mother, I truly loved him."

"Did he not know of your love when you lived?" I asked.

"No. Once in a while I would break free of his father's shadows and show him that I love him but it never lasted long. I should have listened to your mother when she tried to stop me from marrying the king." She said, her eyes glaze over with tears. I could say nothing and just sat silently by her side.

"It was a dream at first. He was so gentle with me, so kind and loving. It was this way all the way to Diamond's birth. Then suddenly he changed. Took a second wife without even asking if I was ok with it and neglected me. And as foolish as I was, I still loved him. Sometimes….sometimes…he would be kind but other times he would just hit me. I could not explain this sudden violent side of him. It was as if he was mad. Eventually one of his family members finally decided that I needed to know what should have been told to me before I married him. I was told that he had always been abusive, especially to women. A trait he inherited from his father. When he was young….ever since he was young, his father would…..his father would force him to sleep with his own mother!"

Bile and disgust filled my stomach as well as horror for what the old queen had to suffer. How could they keep a secret like this! How could they watch another person marry someone whose personality reflected that of his disgusting father!

"They told me that there were times that he would be so crazy that he could kill. That he was a sadistic masochist. As soon as I learned all this, I wanted a divorce but he would not give me one. It was then that I also learned that when his mother wanted a divorce, his father refused it as well. And I finally came to understand why he waited until I had a son to show me his true self."

"Something to black mail you with. If you divorced him, your son would pay." I said in understanding. No mother who truly loved their children could ever leave them to such a fate.

"At five….at five, Diamond started to sleep with me, his father's orders. And when I refused, a rope would come down at his back that would leave a red glowing imprint. And he would scream in pain. When it happened twice because of my refusal, I could not refuse again. I eventually became pregnant and I wasn't even sure if it was my husband's or my child." She cried and I felt her sorrow. To have gone through such pain and humiliation, no one could live through it.

"I wanted a daughter. I prayed in all the nine months of pregnancy for a daughter. I didn't want another son I would be forced to sleep with but instead, another son came. I wanted to die but I was too much of a coward to kill myself and I was afraid of what would happen to my children. And your mother was always there, sharing my pain and counseling my soul. The years up until my death were nightmarish indeed. The king had tried to force Darien to sleep with me too but unlike Diamond, Darien had a strong sense of right and wrong. And despite my own begging in other to spare him pain, he never allowed any physical contact between us. Even though he was beaten almost everyday. I loved him and hated him. Loved him for the fact that he was strong enough to accept pain for my sake but hated him for the wounds his constant torture put my heart through. I suffered for diamond physically, but for Darien, it was my heart that suffered. I could protect my oldest son with my body but there was nothing I could offer in protection of my youngest son. And so mother and son endured it, the years of pain and hopelessness. When Darien decided to leave the kingdom, I was so happy for him. For him and for myself even though at the time I wouldn't have admitted it. I prayed everyday that in the world outside our kingdom, he would find peace and happiness. A prayer that did not come true. I know this because I saw his past, what he had to endure when he left the kingdom was no better than what he faced here. I had been unable to protect him, nor show him the deep love and gratitude I had for him. I want to say Darien did not receive his father's madness but haven seen what he did to you, I'm not so sure. After knowing all this Serena, can you really go through with your purpose to be with him? Is he worth the suffering you may have to endure? The suffering that might lead to your death like me? I want to say yes on his behalf but how can I when I have seen some of the madness in him? How can I subject my best friend's daughter into a life that might turn out to be like mine? Like his grandmother?"

We both sat silently. I had nothing to say. I knew Darien had some madness in him but would it expand to a point where I would become his enemy? To a point where he would subject me to such a life as his mother? Could I hope for a recovery for Darien? Was it even possible? Suddenly my will to stand by him swayed and all I could see was the need to ran, yes, to ran very far away so I never have to find out what the future holds for the two of us.

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