What's Done In The Dark: The King's Concubine
Dear Diary 20
It is three of dawn of the morning of the event Serena has planned for the ladies of our kingdom. And although everything in concern to making the event successful had gone on well, the shadows of doubt and fear my mother had left in Serena was clouding the very event she had put so much effort in. I know my mother had not planned to scare Serena away from me, she had only hoped to give to her what she had not been given. I cannot hold it against her to have warned Serena of the madness in our bloodline but at the same time I could not help but hate her. After everything I had gone through to make Serena love me, it seems I would lose her to doubts and fears even I could not put away. What she feared now in me was what I feared. Was it possible that I could do to Serena what I witnessed my father do to my mother?
Yes, it was.
How did I know? Because I had already done something similar. Something I had promised never to do again on the same day I learned that promise or not, there was madness in my family. One I might have inherited.
And if that is true, who could say I won't harm Serena with my own arms?
Serena never told me what she discussed with my mother but she didn't have to. I had been about to knock when I heard my mother's and Serena's voice. I stopped and listened to the conversation, a conversation I wish I had not eaves dropped on. I was finally able to see the depth of sorrow my father inflected on my mother but worse, I was now aware that I was perhaps capable of doing to Serena what had befallen my mother and grandmother and who knows how many other grandmothers had had to suffer this curse in my family.
I kept away from the room until I heard a long silence before entering. I pretended I hadn't heard anything, I wanted to see if Serena would tell me of what had happened but instead she turned to me with a smile, a smile that did not reach her eyes and asked what took so long. As I tried to sit at my previous position, behind her, she suddenly stood up with an excused to use the restroom. Afterwards she wanted to look around some more. Eventually, for her own sake, I kept a little distance so she could muse over what she had talked to my mother about. And I too needed a lot of thinking.
What could we do now? The paths were obvious. Go our separate ways and pretend that nothing ever happened or continue to forge forward into the unknown future. As much as I loved her and wanted to be with her, I wasn't sure the future, so mysterious was worth looking forward to anymore.
I had tried to assure myself that my father revealed his true self to mother after they were married with a child and that I was different because Serena already knew what I was capable of but that did not go anywhere near altering my fears. My mother was right. Was I really worth the sorrow's Serena might endure? I could not even begin to digest the idea of having my own son sleep with his mother. Such a heartless act. It was what made me hate Diamond so much. That fear of pain could make him hurt mother so much. But I had hurt mother too. Suddenly I was confused on what was right and wrong. Should I have slept with my mother too? Was the physical pain greater than the emotional? What woman out there could have endured what my mother endured for as long as she suffered through?
After we returned from the castle, Serena immersed herself in her project as a way to escape from the nightmare that was me. It hurt to see her trying to make excuses just so she could get away from me so I kept myself locked in my office. I did not sleep in the bedroom that night or the night after as well as this night. Soon the roster will croon, the morning bell will chime and she would be confronted with her vast project to pay any attention to me. As glad as I was for her, I was just as bitter. After that day at the old palace, I haven't seen hair or tail of her and I miss her so much. I want to just rush to the room now, rush there and hold her. Rush there and kiss her, promise on my life to never do any harmful thing to her, to make love to her. But I can't. Can't because I am afraid of her rejection.
Serena why is this happening to us? Have you already given up on me? Have you my love?
Sleep has eluded me these past days. I am unsure if it's been two or three days. When the morning comes and the sun breaks through, I will be pulled into a game that will decide my future. Everything, the preparations, the clothes, the education, everything had gone perfectly well. But inside I felt empty. I have not been sleeping well, my body is tired and aching and my heart has sunk unto confusion and doubts.
What was I to do now? The decision had to be made now before morning comes. If this project goes on and end successfully, there will be no way I can get out of being with Darien but if things mess up, I have a way out. So now what did I want? Success or freedom? But had I not learned what freedom was from an earlier experience? Had I not decided that Darien was my freedom?
Yes I had but that was before I had come to learn of a past that had a very high percentage of becoming part of the future. And worse of all, Darien knew nothing of this. I'm sure the way I've been acting bothers him and he must be very hurt but I can't help it. I am so drenched in fear that I tremble at the mere mention of his name.
But this early morning I cannot pretend I have time. By the end of today a decision will have to be made but before that, I owe it to Darien to tell him the truth.
Darien, let us decide now what our future will be.
"You're Majesty, are you well?"
I turned my head to Prime and Andrew whom were looking at me with concern.
"Yes Prime. Why do you ask?"
"Well you haven't been yourself ever since we returned from the old palace and you've been spacing out since Lady Serenity and the women left earlier this morning for their event." He said. Give it to Prime to be straightforward.
"I am fine Prime. Thank you for your worry." I said but I didn't feel fine. Well, not entirely.
"Darien…" Andrew said and I and prime turned to him sharply. I had almost forgotten I had given them the permission to call me that. I was sure prime was just surprised that Andrew could so casually address me.
"It was you who said we were friends. You offered us your friendship and because we have accepted your hand of friendship, it is both our duty and desire to know your thoughts and to offer assistance where we can. But if you will not be free with us, I do not see how this friendship is any different from the relationship we had with you before your offer of friendship. I want to be of use to you Darien, as a friend and as your counselor. So please, don't say 'I'm fine' when you're obviously not."
Prime and I could only stare at him with our jaws on the floor. Andrew was an easy going sort of person, it wasn't often you saw him be as serious as he was expressing his heart to me and because of that I knew I had no choice but to meet him honesty for honesty.
I sighed, a given that something was indeed wrong.
"You are indeed correct my friend. Something is definitely wrong and I have no way of fixing it. It started with one of our errands to Sir Adams of Titan's household. There I met a beautiful, kind hearted servant girl. The girl you now address as Lady Serenity."
I went on and told them all I had put Serena through, watching as their eyes grew impossibly large as the story build onto a climax that was impossible to imagine had really happened. I continued the story to the meeting of my mother's spirit in the old castle and what Serena and I had come to learn.
"And earlier this morning, she approached me with a score." I said, bring the tale to an almost conclusion.
"Which is?" Andrew asked.
I closed my eyes and let the memory of what had transpired between Serena and I this morning flood my mind.
Flashback
I had been sleeping, well I was trying to. I don't know how I hadn't heard her come in; the next thing I knew was a cold hand on my cheek. Even dead, I would recognize such a touch. Only she had hands as soft and gentle like a cloud on bright sunny day. I opened my eyes to stare in her shaking ones. I wanted to take her hand and pulled her onto me but I was afraid of scaring her so I laid there unmoving. I could not tear my eyes away from her. She had on a short loose dress that was a see through under a direct light and the moon seemed to have chosen to shine its final radiance on her. She placed her other hand on my other cheek. Then she leaned down, her eyes on mine and kissed me. I was laying on the couch on the right side of my office table, so to prevent myself from crushing her to me, I gripped the head board of the couch and the bottom of and prayed for control in the long minute it toke her to bring her kiss to an end. I could do nothing but stare at her as she sat by me and stared down at my pensive face. Then she leaned up and ran her hand gentle through my hair.
"I am sorry. Very sorry for the way I have been behaving." She said softly and laid her head on my chest. I wanted to cry. I didn't know if I should be happy or angry but I wanted to cry, that was the one thing I was sure off.
"Please Darien, forgive my foolishness. I should have told you why I was acting the way I was. No, I should have told you what happened between me and your mother that day at the old palace." She said and a sigh escaped my mouth and I relaxed.
"I heard." She sat up immediately and stared at me with large eyes.
"You did?" she asked in shock.
"I had long suspected madness in the family; I just didn't know how true it was. Only a madman would put you through that three day torture I put you through and everything else. I had drag you to the queen's garden so I may apologize all the pain I had caused you since I first met you, if I had known what we would discover in there, I would never have taken you there. But we both now know the truth and no amount of coulda shoulda woulda is going to change it. Before, I forced you to be with me. This time, knowing what my family is capable of, of what the madness in my bloodline can make me do to you if I am somehow like my father, the choice to be with me is at your feet. If you choose to leave me, you are free." I said all this looking up at the ceiling and when I could not contain the tears, I turned my eyes to her.
"But if you choose to stay with me, I promise I will love you for all eternity. I want to promise you safety, I want to promise that I am not like my father; I want to say that I don't have the madness! But Serena I can't. I can't and still I want you to choose to be with me. Because you are all that I have that is worth holding onto." I let the tears fall freely as I sat up. I stared down at her as she stared up at me and as the tears fall down my cheeks and onto hers, it mingles with her own and finally slide down her cheeks to the floor.
"I love you Serena. I love you so much that it hurt, that I can't imagine doing to you what my father did to my mother. And it's driving me crazy to think that the only way to keep you safe is away from me. I don't want to let you go! I don't! Serena please! Please! Please, don't leave me. I am nothing without you." I sobbed as I wrapped my arms around her. What would become of me if she left? Life would no longer be worth living. Yes, life would hold no meaning for me if she left. I felt her tiny hands wrapped around my waist and squeezed tightly and together, we cried.
I do not know how long we cried for but we eventually pulled apart and Serena stood up and took my face gently in her hands.
"Give me this day Darien and I will give you your answer come tomorrow. The success or failure of this event I have taken upon my shoulders will determine our future. If today is successful, I will be with you for eternity, if not, then please let me go. Because it will prove beyond doubt that I have no place here. Can you agree to this?" she asked. At the time I was confident that everything would go well. After all, the planning had been thorough and the preparations had gone one without mishaps. What could possibly go wrong?
"If this is your only condition, then so be it. I will pray that all goes well, for my sake as well as this kingdom." for if you leave me, I will let death comfort me. But that I did not say aloud.
"Thank you." she said and kissed me again. This time I wrapped my hands around her and pulled her onto of me. I kissed her with all the passion that had built up in me, letting her feel my frustration, my hopes and despair and my vulnerability. As my tongue danced with hers, I stretched my fingers over her body, exploring the warmth I had not felt in about three or four days. She seemed to have the same idea as me as her own fingers explored my body, reminding me that my body was hers to claim as much as hers was mine. Sensations that had been sleeping awakened and the desire that was always present but had been in the shadows these past days suddenly came under the light, a fierce beast which had no intention of leave until its cravings had been satisfied.
"Se..rena.." I gasped as she bit a sensitive part of my neck. "I want you." I finished quickly before I lost my breath.
"Then take me." she answered breathless.
With those words, we forgot everything. The impending future, the party, the madness. All we knew were each other. I feasted on her body with my mouth, trailing kisses up and around her breasts, drawing pleasurable moans for deep inside her as she did the same for me. A touch, a kiss and I am unable to think. Her affect on me was overwhelming. If I were to go mad, it would because she brought it out of me with her tantalizing kisses, her alluring eyes, her womanly scent and the promise of freedom in her body. I was crazy but for totally different reason and course. I was crazy for her and that was the only madness I wanted in my life.
When the little love games could no longer hold back the fires of desire at bay, we gave into our lusts and came together in a beautiful all consuming climax that sated both of us. And even then, we remained unified and intertwined until morning came, the rooster crooned and the sun poked its head through the cloudless sky.
Somehow, I felt that everything would be alright. At least I had to believe it would be. For the first time in my life, I earnestly believed in prayer and the miracles God can create in ones' life if ye believe. I was believing with everything I was. I decided to throw fear and doubts away and depend entirely on the supernatural being we know as God.
End of Flashback
"So if everything goes well, she will stay with you." Andrew said.
"And if doesn't, she will leave." Prime finished.
"That's about the sum of it." I replied and we all sighed and fell into silence.
"It's amazing you know." Andrew said.
"What is?" Prime asked.
"That she still loves you after all that you have put her through. It's insane the measures you have taken to secure her to you."
"And to think that the royal family had such a deep dark secret and nobody knew." Prime added.
"I have a feeling Ephraim knew." I said.
"Why is that?" Andrew asked.
"He was too close to my father not to have noticed something."
"True. But if he does know, why hasn't he said anything? And why had he not spoken up if he knew then what the king was doing to the queen?" Prime asked.
"Those are questions only Ephraim can answer." I said.
"I must go talk to him. I need to know the depths of this madness and see what can be done about it. In the mean time, Andrew please make sure our king is fed. He has not eaten today. I will go take a look to see what is happening with the ladies."
"Bring back good news." Andrew said.
"If anybody has messed up there, I'm going to kill them." He said and walked out of the room with Andrew chuckling.
"Well Milord, it is time to have your meal. You decided to believe in God and trust in his promises did you not? Ask and shall be given. That is one of the promises of God. But asking must come with absolute faith. Let your worries go and believe that what you have asked for has already been granted. Serena loves you too much to leave you." Andrew said comfortingly and my heart was gladdened.
"Please come share a meal with me." I offered
"It will be my pleasure."
So far so good. Thanks to Prime's quick thinking, the carriages of the approaching ladies was directed toward the old palace since the place we had on the cards had been changed. The idea was to have the commoners to wait there for the ladies. Of course, with their clothing, their beautifully done hair styles and their improved speech, we hoped to forestall the realization of who the commoners were. If the ladies didn't know that they were commoners, they would have no fear in mingling with them. This way, they will get to know these wonderful women they felt were beneath them and form a friendship that can overcome the barriers of their positions.
And truly the commoners looked splendid. I had artist come and sketch portraits of them, a memento they will receive as a keepsake so that they will never forget this day. The guards gently escorted the ladies into a big parlor surrounded by glass walls that looked out to the beach that wasn't far from the castle. As they sat or chatted with each other, servants moved among them, offering them drinks and little treats.
Amy, Kakyuu and Rita suggested I come in when all were present, an action I was against. But going against Rita, Amy, and Kakyuu was a battle that I realized I would never win. As soft spoken as Amy was, she was like steel, immovable in her convictions. And so as they all enjoyed their reunion, I was reduce to receiving messages from Lita and trying to peak without being seen. It was pure torture!
I was dressed in simple white dress that came to my knees with a gold belt and beautifully crafted white heels with threads of gold metals. They looked lovely and made the overall affect of the dress more enchanting. Rita did my make, claiming that I didn't need much since I already had perfect skin though I was too pale and Lita did my hair. The all decided, against my wishes again, that it was best to let my hair down in thick curls and to let some frame my face.
I wanted an image of a strong person, a person able to become their queen, instead my reflection came as that of an innocent little girl. I was truly unhappy though the girls thought this was the perfect image. Whenever I would try to rearrange my hair, Lita would swap at my hands and scold me. How was I supposed to show these people I was capable when what they will be seeing is a little girl who looks barely fifteen?
But evidently, I had no say in how I should look. I waited in the room that used to belong to Darien, hoping that the girls wouldn't forget that I was the one hosting the event!
When the door opened, Lita entered with a big grin.
"It's going very well. The last of the ladies has now entered and they seem to take to the commoners as their own. The style for the clothing is a hit, all the ladies wants some and keep asking who their tailors are. Of course the hairstyles are also receiving massive compliments. I think the ladies feels a little too over dress." Lita said with a giggle.
"Well duh! Stuck under layers upon layers of materials with hairstyles resembling trees and vacuum cleaners are a little much. The dresses of the commoners are simple but beautiful and elegant and it fits their bodies perfectly. And their hairstyles are simple as well, curls or straight, high ponytails or buns. These simplicities bring out their natural beauty and they glow with life. What the ladies see are women who reflect the freedom they dearly desire."
"Mmmm…I hope all continues to go well. The girls will come get you in a few minutes. In the mean time, let me finish your hair." She said.
"You're not done?" I asked with surprise.
"Not really, now sit." I sat and watches as she wove in white beads and a white sash.
"It will keep the hair from constantly falling in your face and the beads will shine, giving a contrast to your golden hair so that it stands out even more." And in the end, beads or no beads, sash or no sash, the effect of a childish image was the same. I sighed.
Before I could comment on it, a knock came to the door and Lita went to answer it.
"May I help you?" I heard her ask.
"I am here to see Serena." A voice replied.
"She will be down in a minute." Lita said.
"I don't think you understand…"
"Your highness!" I heard Rita's voice say. I blinked. You're highness? Was Darien here!
"Good afternoon Lady Rita and Lady Amy. It sure is a surprise to see you here Lady Amy." The unfamiliar voice said.
"Yes so I seem to be hearing. How fair you princess?"
"I am well. I came to see Serena but this woman here will not allow my entrance."
"Forgive her; she is just doing her job. Lita, this is Princess Reighlen Gail. Half sister to His Majesty." Rita introduced and a shock passed through me. Darien had mentioned a sister but I had never met her! I hadn't even given her an invitation!
"Please to meet you your highness. Please come in." Lita said, opening the door wide enough for all three ladies to enter. I stood from my seat before the mirror and faced the princess. He looks shocked me. She looked a lot like Darien with raven hair though hairs had highlights of purple and her eyes were like the amethyst stone. Somehow, she carried the same confident aura that always accompanied Darien.
"Please to meet you Your Highness." I said, curtseying to her.
"Please stop with the formalities. We are practically sisters now. Just call me Rei and I hope you don't mind that I call you Serena."
"Not at all. Darien had mentioned a sister. I'm glad we can finally meet." I said.
"Thanks to your invitation." She said, pulling out one of the invitational cards. It must been Darien who sent it to her. "I was out of the kingdom on some business trip. I made every attempt to finish all my transactions so that I will be able to attend this event. If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to tell me." she offered kindly.
"Thank you for your kindness though I must confess the card was not from me. But all the same, I am happy that your brother invited you on my behalf and that you've come despite your busy schedule. I believe it is time for me to greet my guest, would you mind accompanying me Rei?"
"It will be my pleasure."
She was everything Darien said she would be. Beautiful, honest, kind, funny and even innocent. I found myself watching her as she interacted with the ladies. Our descent down the stairs into the throng of ladies had caused all the ladies to pause in the chatters, taken aback by the beauty and innocence of the lady they might have to serve one day as their queen.
Even if this party ends in ruin, it is the pure joy of innocence she exuded that would win her favors.
And I had to respect her efforts, in three days she has been able to organize an event that would take a month or more for anybody to organize. Darien already filled me in that some of the ladies were actually commoners and they were easily identified by the unique styles of dresses they had on but they in no shape or form looked like commoners. In fact, compare to us, to the ladies, they glowed with life and pure beauty. For the first time in my life, I found myself questioning the extent of my beauty. I had often been proclaimed among a few, the fairest maid in the kingdom. what makes one fair? Layers of clothes that made you look like you have a big butt when you really didn't, a face decked in a mass of makeup? And hair styles that seemed to be in competition with the sky? These commoners with their simple cut dresses, simple hair styles and little makeup were showing true beauty, ones I had seen in my travels to the outside world and they glowed so beautifully, so naturally that in comparison, they ladies looked like stuff animals.
I had come from the outside world to show off the new styles, hoping to use this event to outshine my beautiful new and less layered dresses that hugged my figure and enhanced them even, but instead I was met with commoners whose styles met my own. But I was not bitter about the attention I had envisioned to gain but lost to Serena's styles. As the princess of this beautiful kingdom, attention was never a question. Serena was a genius, if nothing else; these dresses will go a long way in opening doors of friendship between the commoners and the ladies.
As soon as we came down and greeted the ladies, everybody began talking and interacting. And when some of the commoners informed the ladies that Serena and Lita had been the ones to come up with the styles of clothes and the hairstyles, a huge batch of the ladies nearly attacked Serena to do at least their hairs for them. Lita was spared because she was hiding in the kitchen. And so they made a line and Serena went through their hairs, taking down their ridiculous hairstyles and giving them very simple yet elegant styles that brought some eyes out, some cheek bones out and life into the faces of others. Of course Lita came in to help with the styles and since I had learned some of them, I joined in with the helping. Amy and Rita eventually caught on to what they could do and they too began to help out. It was amazing the transformation that little change of hairstyles could do for these ladies.
I was very proud that Darien had chosen Serena as the person most deserving of his heart. It would be good to finally have a sister in law I could live with happily and not hate every moment of the day.
Speaking of sister in law, Hotaru expectantly, did not show up. Neither did some of her followers but that was alright. Though all of the ladies that were wives to the council elders were present, five of which were Hotaru's loyal dogs. I was glad that only five of her minions were present. Besides, if they had all come, their only purpose would have been to ruin the event. A purpose that would have clashed with my stubborn nature and when that happen, there would be no way I would be able to back away from setting them on fire.
By two, all the hairstyling were done and we sat on the floor, yes, not on couches or anything but on the floor. Serena had covered the whole ballroom floor with a heavy blanket and thought there were couches to sit on; the ladies choose to sit on the floor when Serena did so. Only the oldest of the ladies occupied the couches. And then our afternoon meals were served to us. As we ate, I felt a sense of peace and harmony surround us in an embrace I was sure to last for a long time. Not everything Serena planned would go perfectly well, but I was certain that well or no well, some of us had just made friends we would keep for a life time. After we finished eating, Serena stood up and we all turn our attention to her.
"How about we play a little game." She said. Everyone looked at each other for a puzzled minute before giving Serena their attention again.
"A game?" I asked.
"Yes Princess. A game of truth." She said with a smile.
"Well…how does this game goes?" Lady Vida asked.
"It goes like this. We have interacted with each other since morning so there's bout to be one thing we've learned about each other. In this game, we will tell the truth about whatever question a person asks. But the person can only ask one person she knows something about a question and that person has no choice but to tell the truth. I am counting on your honor as ladies of this kingdom to uphold to truth and truth only. Does everybody understand?" she asked, some nodded but others still looked confused.
"I will go first and hopefully it will be clearer. Now before you can ask a person something, you must name one thing about yourself and one thing you have learned about this person today. Not what you know about the person before but instead what you have learned today. Be it her name, her age, her favorite color. Anything. I will start. I am a story teller, I love to tell stories and people seem to enjoy it greatly. Today, I have learned that princess Reighlen Gail prefers to be called Rei." When she said that, I smiled. Anything really went huh.
"Princess please rise." She said and I did. "Today I want to know another thing about you. I want to broach on a subject most ladies will not consider to even discuss because it is seen as unladylike to aspire to be more than a woman who stays home and take care of the family. If you feel unable to answer this question, please say so. Because I will rather hear you say I don't want to answer than to lie to me. Do I have your word that truth alone ye will speak?"
"I solemn promise." I vowed.
"Thank you. This is my question. If you were given an equal opportunity as any male in our kingdom, what career will you chose to explore and be a part of?" Even before the question finished forming, a gasp of disbelief filled the room. I was a bit surprised at Serena's boldness. To bring up an almost taboo subject while trying to gain the support of these ladies was a move I wasn't sure was beneficial to her. Unless she was counting on me to give an answer.
"Thank you for your question. It's not a matter of equal opportunity with the males. I am pursuing a career that is forbidden to women. My goal and dream as well as my ambition are to become the high priestess. However as you said, we the females have little power in this kingdom so my efforts are always met with a brick wall. But I promised myself that no matter what, I will become a priestess, the highest of all the priests!" If they were shocked by Serena's boldness, they were even more so by my bold declaration. It was time these women's woke up and stopped suppressing their own desires and ambitions. With that said, it was my turn to say something about myself and to direct the question to someone else.
"I am a fire reader. Despite how crazy it sounds, there are times I can see visions through the rise of fire. Lady Amy, today I have learned one thing about you. That you are a great teacher. On that know, I throw the question My Lady Serena asked me to you. What career in your hearts of heart do you want to pursue but cannot because of our limited powers?" Amy looked at me with panicked eyes then back to Serena and back to me. I knew then that she too harbored an ambition she was too afraid to let known. However, she also knew that whatever Serena hoped to achieve depended on her answer. As a princess, I was allowed to dream crazy dreams, but as a mere lady, sticking to the status quo was a must.
We all watched her like a hawk as she rose. She sighed and took in a deep breath and let it out gently.
"Way to put me on the spot Princess." she said and a few of us chuckled. "But like you Your Highness, I too harbor an ambition for a future in medical science. Preferably as a doctor, a brain surgeon, not a nurse." Now this was a declaration worthy of a rather loud gasp and jaws on the floor. A doctor, the most forbidden acts known to women. Our kingdom's males believed us incapable of going to the length of school needed to gain our degrees in the field of medical science and that our brains were too small to store all the information as well. To want to be a doctor was an ambition far greater than mine. It was perfect!
"Such abomination."
"It's unladylike!"
"It's trifling!" and so the disapproval went around, everybody voicing out their displeasure at Amy's hopes and dreams. I saw her eyes water and shake and watched as a drop of tears fell from her eyes. I was suddenly filled with rage at these ladies! It was because of attitudes like this that the men thought as incapable of our own future!
"Enough!" I found myself screaming before I even knew it. Silence immediately fell and all eyes turned on me and I glared at every face that came into my line on vision. It suddenly became so clear to my why my efforts to become a priestess has always been in vain. These foolish women who knew nothing more than to take the goods earned by their men were the cause of the mind sets of the men! Every day they were proving the men right in believing that our only place in life was at home at their beck and calls!
"Do you now understand?" Serena said softly and all attention turned to her. I felt my sudden anger dissolve.
"It is because of the way we women think of ourselves that has got the men believing that we are mindless puppets to their strings. Is it so impossible to imagine a woman a doctor or a priestess? Go to the outside world and see what the women are doing. Some are doctors, lawyers, teachers, firefighters, policemen, business women, head of corporations, and the list goes on."
"You lie!" Rosaline, one of the five of Hotaru's goons to have show up at this gathering, said.
"I do not. Go home and ask of your husband and see if he will be able to deny what I say." Serena said.
"Serena speaks the truth. As you are all ware, I recently took a trip to visit the world outside our kingdom. It was there that I realized that I didn't want to be just another woman of this kingdom useful only at home. I am a person with my own dreams and heart. I am a person with my own strengths and weakness, why should it be up to another to decide my fate? Go and see how young women strives in universities to become something greater than our limited views of how women should be, go and see for yourself mothers who work two or even three jobs, go and see single mothers raise and family and still manages to work outside the house. They sweat and cry, yet when they smile, their faces are alive knowing they have earned their keep. Yet what do we do, sit here and believe that we are weak and useless. Sit here and watch as our men determines what is best for us. And yet you dare have the audacity to sit there and judge a person for having goals that are beyond your abilities grasp. Go and see women fight in wars alongside men. Go and see how some women have powers over men in armies!" I was filled with righteous indignation. How dare they look down on me! How dare they look down on Amy! Who did they think they are? What right did they have to decide m future, to judge my choice of life!
"Every word spoken by Princess Rei is true. I have never been outside our kingdom but our king has and knows what women are capable of. Can you not see for yourself more than this life? Are you not strong enough to overcome the limitations you and others have placed upon you? Are we truly as helpless as we've been made to believe? Even as I seek to become queen of this kingdom, I also have another dream. Queen or not, I will become a business woman!" Serena said. The voice she used to speak made the women see that this innocent looking woman had a deeper strength in her that her looks covered.
"If you truly believe that women of our kingdom should continue this way of life and to have no thoughts and lives of our own, please do not try own the new styles of bathing suits I have asked to be made. But if you are like Rei, Amy and me with your own dreams and hopes, and that you hope for a better future, a future of freedom, a future you can create with your own hands, prove to me this day by wearing one of these bathing suits. I shall be the first to try one on. Please wait as I go to change." Serena said and walked away and out the corner door. We all sat silently with our breaths held and waited for her return. I had not seen the bathing suits but had my suspicion.
My suspicion was correct. The bathing suit barely hid anything. How much can a bikini hide? And to ladies who have lived their whole lives under layers of clothing, this two piece clothing that only hid our womanhood and our breasts was truly an abomination. The bikini looked to them nothing more than bras and panties. Some of the ladies fainted and others began fanning themselves. Some had their jaws permanently stuck to the floor as others sat in shock. But Serena sure rocked the bathing suit. She was enchanting and glowing in the pink bikini and her feet were encased in pink slippers. What a way to bring the house down.
"These are but a few of the styles of swimming attires worn in the outside world."
"You're joking!" Lady Alexandria said.
"I joke not. This particular style is called a bikini." Serena replied seriously.
"And here's the real kicker. They were these to public as well as private beaches where all men can see them."
"Noooooooooo!" Several voices said.
"Oh yes. My Lady, may I try own my own piece which I brought back with me from my trip."
"Yes you may Princess." I left the room and returned in red bikini swim suit of my own. it was even more daring than Serena's earning more gasps of surprise and horror.
"Nice swim wear princess." Serena comments.
"Right back atcha."
Serena clapped her hands twice and from the side, Lita rolled into view a hanging cart with various styles and colors of bikini's hanging on them.
"As you can see, we have a beach right behind this palace. I feel the need for a swim. If you care to join me, please put on one of these swim wears. If you cannot manage it, that is fine. You may walk around the beach instead of swim, whatever you want to do. We shall return indoors at six for supper. However, there are one hundred swim wars and 95 of us. Even if you will never wear it, or if you want to use it as a bra, that is your choice but I employ all of you to choose one as a memento of this occasion. The floor is now open. I will go on ahead to the beach. If you wish to stay indoors, you may as well. Until six then." She said and began walking down the middle of the group. We watched her until she disappeared and the doors were closed behind her.
I stood up from my sitting position and looked around the room.
"A journey of any kind begins with a first step. And for us, the first step in earning the respect of our men so they can treat us as their equals is believing that we are as capable as they are. If you wish to remain in the Stone Age era, then please be my guest but do not blame anyone when on your death bed you do not find any meaning in your life. I too will join Lady Serenity." I uttered and walked out of the room.
It had been too long since I last swam in this beach!
When I first saw the bathing suit, I too had freaked out. But my shock was quickly replaced with curiosity and excitement. And as I listened to Serena, Amy and Princess Rei speak of their goals for the future; I became aware of a desire of my own.
I wanted to become a model! I was tall enough and had the figure for it and despite my tender age, I had always been brave and rebellious. I was not about to be defeated by swim suits that I was sure would become all the rave five years from now. Serena and Rei have both proven to me that it is ok to dream. But they hadn't only just dreamt, they have taken the first steps into breaking down barriers that stands in the way of their dreams coming true. Even if I cannot become a model in this kingdom, there is a world outside of here that was filled with possibilities.
For the first time in my life, I truly wanted to be my own person. Mother was supposed to have come today but unfortunately she could not make it due to a sudden fever chill. Kunzite and Zoisite immediately left for home while Nepherite took to helping Lita with the food preparations and Jadeite took to leading the guards that were guarding us. Even though Serena was introducing ideas and opening doors that were far too bold for us women of this kingdom, I was sure mother would have encouraged Serena. So if she is not here, who best than to represent her encouragement than her own daughter. I would back Serena up for mother, but I will wear the swim suit for myself. I wanted a change and I was going to be part of the movement.
It was time to change.
After Serena and Rei left, we sort of all sat silently, all of us waiting for the next brave soul or foolish one to brave the swimming suits. One minute, two, five, ten. And still no one rose. Then from the corner of my left eye, I watched as Kakyuu rose and walked to the wrack of swim wears boldly. We all watched her like a hawk; following her every movement as she tried to pick what size would best fit her.
She finally picked a dark reddish one piece and followed Lita to probably where Serena had changed.
A few minutes later, she returned in her choice of suit and though this style covered more than the two piece bikini, it wasn't that much better. She stood and stared at all of us and took a deep breath.
"I too want a change. Whether it is slow in coming or it rushes to us like a tidal wave, I want to be part of movements that I believe will change our kingdom and grant children like me the opportunity to become something more. I want to decide my own future!" She said boldly and walked out of the room.
After that, two of the commoners followed her examples, and then more and more until all the commoners were out of the room. When none of the ladies moved, I knew it was up to me to be the deciding factor. So I banished my nervousness and myself consciousness, and like Kakyuu, I walked forward and picked out a blue one piece. In and out of the dressing room, I returned to the ball room and silently walked out of the room as well. As soon as the door closed behind me, my legs gave out. I had to hold the door handle to prevent myself from falling.
There's no going back now Amy. You've made your choice.
"Oh come one you guys! It's not like there are any men here to see you!" I said in frustration. The only reason I wasn't rushing to the bathing suits was because of my pregnancy. Besides, the suit looked good on the ones who had been brave enough to put them on.
"This is just too much!" Lady Vivian said and I rolled my eyes.
"What a bunch of sissies you all are." I said and rose to my feet. I walked to the swimming suit wrack, but before I could touch anything, Lita approached me.
"We made a special one that will accommodate you better." She said and I followed her to where they girls had gone to change. And true enough, they had a two piece bikini made for me and when I put them on, despite my huge stomach, it looked good. I wished then that Andrew was there to see me. I was sure he would be shock but not disgusted.
I walked back out to the room and stood so everyone can have a better look at me.
"I too want a change and like it or not, that change will come. You might as well be part of it and find your footing before it hits you on an unsteady ground." I said and walked out of the room as well.
Despite all that was showing, the swimming suit was very comfortable. I wonder what Andrew would think to find me in it waiting for him on our bed on sitting by our indoor pool. It was sure to turn him on.
I giggled at the thought.
Change was necessary for this kingdom to grow.
It was a big gamble Serena had taken. After Rita waltzed out, argument broke out between the remaining ladies. I decided I was not about to keep up with them so I too took out a two piece green bikini with designs of brown leaves on them. When I walked back into the room, all arguments stopped as they turned to me.
"If none of you will change, then I will take my leave to join the ladies at the beach. If you need anything, the remaining servants will accommodate you." I said, taking several steps toward the door.
"I will wear one." I turned around to the voice that had spoken and realized it was Lady Delia.
"I too will try one." Lady Sarah joined in. then one by one, all the wives of the assistant council elders decided that they would try and so I led each individual to the changing room, hanged up their discarded clothes and led them out for the next person to go. When the seven wives of the assistants were done, other ladies came as well. The ones left were the wives of the prominent council elders and some fifteen old women, five of them being from the commoners.
"I would wear them too but I am far too old for such frivolous activities. And I must agree with Lady Serenity, we do need to change some of the things in this kingdom. My friends, we are the nine most respectable ladies of this magnificent kingdom. However with the power of the respect we have earned, we do nothing but sit on it and act all high and mighty. As you have witnessed today, our younger ones have decided that they want a change. Although some of the changes are necessary, not all are good. I employ you all to be a part of this movement and help guide these young ones so that as they reach for the sky, they do not forget to plant their feet firmly on the ground. There are some traditions we cannot discard, but if we refuse to help them and distance ourselves, the changes they will bring to this land will be absolute and every one of our values and traditions will be discarded. So I beg you my sisters, please meet these ladies half way. Let us be a part of them and guide them, so that they do not forget on what soil they were born." Lady Vida, the oldest of all the ladies present spoke.
Even I was moved by her speech. The others silently debated on what she had said and four stepped forward.
"We will like to try on these attires." Lady Rosaline said. I was surprised that she who strongly disliked Serena because she was one of Hotaru's loyal dogs would volunteer to wear the swim suit. Of course she wasn't the only one. The remaining three were Lady Mariah, Lady Joyce and Lady Demetrius.
After they changed, I led them and all the remaining ladies to the beach where we witnessed a water fight between Serena's group of four, Rei, Amy and one of the commoners against Kakyuu's group of four which included two ladies and one commoner.
The battle soon expanded into a huge water war where most of the women joined in. I was sure that not even Serena had imagined the outcome of this event to be as amazing as it was. As the water fight went on, Serena retreated far away and several servants surrounded her with canvases and drawing and painting tools. Serena had told us that she planned to make sketches of as man of the ladies as she could. So as they played, swam ,enjoyed the sun and warm water, our future queen worked hard in producing portraits that would take any man's breath away. We fed them cold yogurts and ice creams as it got hotter and when the hour stoked six, none of the ladies were ready to return so we stayed outdoors until it was eight. A game of hide and seek was played, swimming competitions brought out the passions that laid buried in these ladies and silly acts of drowning exploded into outburst of laughter.
It was a most glorious day indeed.
By the time we returned inside and finished eating, we had only two hours before the night came to an end and we returned back home. And suddenly I felt weak again. This time my entire vision swam crazily, if it hadn't been for Lita who was by my side and shielded me from the gazes of the ladies, I would have given myself away. Throughout the day, I had spasm of pain and weakness but nothing at all like what I felt at the end of the supper. It was the time I needed most to feel energetic because I had to tell a story and have the commoners show the ladies some of their dance moves. I think Amy might have noticed my state of being because she brought me a cup of water and had Kakyuu and Rita led the ladies to the back of the castle where the stone circle was piled with woods.
Inside, I worked to suppress my weakness even as Lita and Amy questioned me endlessly on whether I was alright. When I finally managed to calm myself, I leaned on Amy and followed her to where the boon fire had already started. A foot away from the fire laid mats for the ladies to sit and in between every two mats were a special pop sticker stick and a white bowl of marshmallows. I watched as the ladies roasted the marshmallows on the stick in the fire. Some looked very surprise that such a thing was done. Obviously they had never had a roasted marshmallow. My mat was in between them and the fire so Amy and Lita Led me to it and I sat down. Beside me, Lita sat a glass of water.
I covered myself with a dark cloth and a big crystal orb was placed in front of me. the light coming from the fire made the crystal glow and random images like the sky, the stars, the moon and space could be seen when you look close enough. When I was ready, I changed my voice into that of an old woman who had a soft but commanding voice and spoke the words that began each of my stories.
"Gather around my friends for a story of two lovers whose fate would end in blood and at the edge of a sword." I had debated on what story I will tell and had chosen Romeo and Juliet, but as I watched everyone gather, something changed my mind and I immediately changed my mind. No, this night deserved a story much deeper than that of Romeo and Juliet.
I looked up at the sky were the moon was trying to peak out and knew the story of Prince Endymion of Earth and Princess Serenity of the moon kingdom was definitely a story meant for this night. The story of the moon princess who fell in love with the earth prince was not a familiar one but it was a story I held deeply in my heart. when I was little, my mother used to tell it to me a lot. It was a story similar to Romeo and Juliet but much deeper with villains of powerful magic, curses of old and a plot that led to the death of the prince and princess. But unlike Romeo and Juliet, Princess Serenity's mother could not accept the death of her daughter and so called forth the strongest magic in the universe and offered her life as a sacrifice so that her daughter and her friends and lover could be reborn again in a new world, a world where they could find peace and live loving each other.
As I began the story, those who were standing up to roast their marshmallows stopped and came to sit and listen. I finally pulled myself from the depths of the story to find faces filled with tears and sorrow and happiness.
"A love so strong and impossible to describe. Does such love exist?" Lady Kimberly asked.
"I know not but if I have the chance to experience it, I will accept all that comes with it, the happiness as well as the pain." I said. It had taken a full hour to bring the story to an end. We only had one hour left and this hour will determine if this party was truly worth the effort.
"My friends, some of our friends have an amazing dance tradition around such fires and I am hoping to learn a few from them. My friends, care to teach me one or two of your dances?" I said, directing the questions at the commoners. Their eyes sparkled. So far everything we had done were in favor of the ladies or outside both groups league, this was their chance to show their own abilities.
And as I expected, the graceful moves and follower like dances of the commoners drew the ladies attention. After I gave it a try and Rei and Kakyuu also gave it a try, the ladies began joining in. one by one the circle of dances around the fire grew big, the dances wilder, the exhilaration grew stronger and the excitement and laughter rose the spirits of the night and together we danced.
I pulled myself out of one particular dance set and began drawing. This was not an individual drawing, but one portrait that encompassed all of us as well as the blazing fire. I planned to have copies of it made so that I could give to every one of the ladies. A sure sign that changes would soon be coming.
Thirty minutes later, we returned to the ballroom and sat talking. It was now time to reveal to the ladies the true identity of the commoners and I was nervous. How could I go about this wouldn't letting them feel as if I had made a fool of them? I looked at Lita, then Amy, then at Kakyuu and finally at Rita but no one had any idea. I sighed and stood up. It had to be done.
"My ladies, I called forth this event in hopes of building long lasting friendship. And as such, I always believe that truth must begin each hand of friendship. There are some among you whom are not what they seem. Though I personally do not see them as beneath you, I must also accept the fact that reality as much different than my ideals." I said with all the confidence could must.
"Please rise those of you that my words concerns." I said and watched the commoners rise one by one. I could see the nervousness of some of them while others tried not to look at the ladies. When they had all risen, I took a stand in front of them and prepared myself for whatever may come.
"My ladies, these fifty women you see behind me are extraordinary women who have done in two days what would take a normal person to do in months. Not only have they learned to speak properly like a lady, but they have managed to interact with you without giving away their true heritage. These beautiful and warm hearted dancers are the women of the commoners' community." There I said it.
At first there was no response and from the corner of my eyes I saw Rei sigh. So she had known. Had she guessed or had Darien told her?
"Pardon me My Lady. Do you mean to tell me that these ladies are commoners?" Lady Eunice asked.
"Yes."
The silence was a very long one which made me even more nervous. The two groups stared at each other, one with guilty faces and the other with shock and repulsion.
"You mean to tell us that you knew whom these people are and you allowed them to interact with women of our standards! What kind of fools do you take us Lady Serenity!" Lady Mariah screamed. I had expected it but I hadn't expected the dread I would feel.
"Give me this day Darien and I will give you your answer come tomorrow. The success or failure of this event I have taken upon my shoulders will determine our future. If today is successful, I will be with you for eternity, if not, then please let me go. Because it will prove beyond doubt that I have no place here. Can you agree to this?"
"If this is your only condition, then so be it. I will pray that all goes well, for my sake as well as this kingdom."
This had been Darien's and mine's condition. If I could not get these ladies to understand why I had done what I had, I would be walking out of Darien's life for a second time but this time around, there will be no returning!
Lord, what have I done! God please, Help me!
"You spoke of changes. If such changes came with such a high price then we don't want it!" Lady Demetrius said coldly.
"And here I thought this was an event based on truth." Lady Alexandria said with a shake of her head.
"Please hear me out." I begged.
"What is there to hear! You lied to us! You tricked us!" This came from Lady Joyce.
"There was no other choice!" I said hopelessly.
"We are done with you and your games. Ladies it is time we left." I wasn't certain who said that because at that moment, my vision swarm and I felt myself falling. Whether I was caught or I hit my head to the floor I did not know because I lost consciousness immediately.
And the last thing I remembered was that I had failed Darien and he would really be separated from me. This time, there was no coming back.
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